Thirty Days of Red

by Geraldine Solon

  Liv pulls away and slips back into her dress while I zip my pants up. She slices two pieces of chocolate cake and serves me. Wiping sweat from my forehead, I devour the chocolate, a bit jolted by what just happened. I’m even more embarrassed now. The hidden camera. Ruby and my mother could have been watching.

  What if what they say is true, that I’m connected to my psychotic wife one way or another? I can’t seem to let go of her no matter what I do.

  “I was supposed to sing Happy Birthday to you.”

  She slips the watch onto her wrist. “I guess we got carried away.”

  We share a laugh, and suddenly, it’s just both of us again, obsessed with each other like how we used o be. How could this be happening? And why am I even enjoying this? Am I psychopath too?

  58

  Day 29

  Liv

  I feel like I’m nineteen again and very much in love. Did we just have sex? And David seems sentimental as ever to give me back his watch, the same one I bought him back in college. I had saved up all my tips from my waitressing job to get him that gift. He always valued it with his life.

  What am I going to do when David is gone? Nobody can take his place. I know we’ve been through a rough patch, but every marriage encounters that. Although a part of me hates him, I can’t live without him. Alone, we are two different souls hungry for attention, but together, we can be something. If only we can create the Olivia and David Walters recipe for success or the Olivia and David Walters thirty-day wisdom program.

  I chuckle to myself. We are capable of creating beauty from ashes. Ever since he came home, he’s glowing and it’s all because of me. I am his potion, and I have taken care of him. I am a good wife. I am Olivia Walters. Nobody comes between David and me, not even his lies.

  As we clear out the dishes, a knock startles us.

  “Did you invite anyone?” David turns to me as I dry the utensils.

  “It’s probably those damn reporters.”

  David wipes his hand on the kitchen towel and heads to the front door. I follow from behind.

  The knocks grow louder and David takes a peek on the peephole. Without asking me, he opens the door wide. Christopher and Patrick march in with a bottle of wine and a gift bag.

  “Look who we have here.” David hugs Christopher and shakes Patrick’s hand.

  “Couldn’t miss your birthday,” Christopher says to me. “David, it’s a miracle. You look amazing.”

  David blushes and shuts the door. “Thank you.”

  “This is Patrick.”

  Patrick shakes our hands but doesn’t look at me.

  Christopher leads the way to the living room. “Where’s the party?”

  A creepy sensation rolls up my back. Why did David have to open the door? “We just finished dinner. Would you like some cake?”

  “Cake it is.” Christopher and Patrick settle onto the couch. David sits beside them.

  I take the wine to the kitchen and cut two slices of cake. Fuck! This was supposed to be my night with David.

  After I trail back to the living room, I hand them their slices of cake.

  “Liv you’re so famous now. Your face is on every channel. That’s probably why you don’t call me anymore,” Christopher says.

  A forced smile plays on my lips. “Been making up for lost time.”

  “Or could it be guilt from what you did while you were on the cruise and after,” Patrick adds.

  I clear my throat. “Do you guys want some more cake?”

  “You heard me.” Patrick eyes David. “Do you know what your wife did?”

  “Patrick, this isn’t the time and place.” Christopher waves his hand in the air.

  Patrick leans forward. “While you were in your own world, David, your wife was screwing this man Aiden. In fact, when you escaped, they did it in your bedroom.”

  “Stop it,” Christopher yells.

  “But what I find disturbing is that he dies of a heart attack while having sex. She calls Christopher to cover up for her because she doesn’t want people to know she was a philandering wife.”

  Although David is aware of my affair, I assume he doesn’t know I killed Aiden. My body is frozen, and I can’t look at David.

  “Don’t you find that strange? Two men. One suffers from a coma, and the other one a heart attack.”

  David stands from the couch. “Patrick, it was nice meeting you, but you should leave now.”

  Christopher tugs Patrick and whispers, “I’m sorry.”

  I’m still appalled by what’s happening, but more than anything, I’m proud of how my husband handled it. He is my man, and all the more I’m convinced we belong together. We don’t need anything else when we have each other.

  “Gladly.” Patrick tosses the gift bag to me. “I hope you enjoy your birthday.”

  David and I stand in silence as they leave. I don’t know what to say to him. I’ve committed crimes because of the one man I can’t live without.

  He pulls me toward him and embraces me. How I wish this moment could stop. How I long for more days like these with David. I love being his wife. I will never take him for granted again.

  But these demons will never stop haunting me. David and I will never have a peaceful life again. So much has been done.

  It has to end tomorrow.

  59

  Day 30

  David

  I wake up all fuzzy from a deep sleep. Reaching my hand on the sheets, I check to see if Liv is there, but she’s gone. Today is the day. Do I actually know what I’ve gotten myself into? Can I possibly push through with my plan? I counted the days till it would come, but now that it’s here, I feel like a groom having cold feet.

  Whoever invented time anyway? Why can’t we just exist in between time and space? Perhaps they can just freeze my body and I can wake up and everything will still be the same.

  “Liv,” I call out to her as I head to the bathroom. She’s not there so I dash downstairs. There’s no sign of her except for a note on the counter.

  David,

  I went for a hike. Meet me at Golden Gate Bridge around noon.

  Love,

  Liv

  An hour and a half yet. Why would she want to meet at the Golden Gate Bridge? Then it dawns on me. The bridge was where I proposed. The twinkle in her eye remains etched on my memory. Liv must want to spend our last moments here.

  I run up the stairs, stride to my office, and remove the disposable phone from underneath my desk.

  Ruby picks up. “David, I’ve been waiting for your call. Will you be doing this at eight o’clock as promised?”

  My palms sweat, and I can’t answer.

  “David, you’ve waited for this day. There’s no way you’re backing out now.”

  Women! They always have strong intuition.

  “David, I know what you’re thinking. Have you forgotten what Liv did to you? Do you want to remain her prisoner?”

  Gripping the phone, I straighten my shoulders. “I’m tired of people telling me what to do. If it’s not Liv, it’s you. I’m going to do this my way.” After I hang up the phone, I pull out all the hidden cameras and store them inside our closet. I jump into the shower and get dressed. It’s time I tell Liv we’ll start somewhere new, where nobody knows us. But should I? I don’t know why I feel this way, but after all we’ve been through, Liv seems to be there for me. We were once very much in love. A second chance is all we need.

  * * *

  The sun is immaculate as tourists flock to the Golden Gate Bridge. If the bridge could speak, it would have many stories to tell. Our story will change tonight, if I push through with my plan. Ruby will make one phone call to Detective Reed, who will lock Liv up, and I can live as a free man.

  Liv didn’t tell me where exactly we should meet, but I know she’ll be waiting for me right at the center. I still have fifteen minutes before noon, but I’m glad I arrive early.

  I spot her hair shining against the sun. Her red scarf brightens her face as
she leans back on the railings. I wave slowly approaching her. “Liv.”

  She stares at me blankly, like she doesn’t recognize who I am.

  “Liv.”

  Her lips form a line. “My name is not Liv. I’m Red.”

  Is she playing another game? “Hello, Red. I’m David, your husband, remember?”

  She studies me for a moment then affixes her gaze on the view. “My husband proposed to me here.”

  Crazy as it may sound, I like the way she refers to me in third person so I play along with her. There’s nobody like Liv. “He must be a lucky man to have you.”

  She keeps her eyes glued to the water. “I wasn’t a good wife. I did crazy stuff.”

  “Marriage isn’t easy.”

  “I couldn’t give him a child.” A tear stains her cheek.

  “Not everybody has children. We have a cute cat.”

  “I did bad things to him. Things a normal person wouldn’t do.”

  I put my arm around her and whisper, “We can start over and forget about what happened. Go somewhere new.”

  I know for sure this is what I want. Perhaps we can make it work. We can forget and leave the past behind. She looks beautiful and fragile like when I first met her. That’s it! I need to protect her again, to bring that beautiful smile back. The one she lost years ago.

  Her breathing becomes more rapid. “My husband is dying. He has a brain tumor. Today is his last day.”

  “No, he’s not. I lied to you.”

  She doesn’t face me. “I can’t bear to see him die. It wasn’t his fault.”

  “You won’t have to go through that. I told you I was lying to you.” I point to my chest. “Look at me, Liv. I’m healthy and strong.”

  Glancing at me, she blinks. Her eyes look empty. “Why do you keep calling me Liv? My name is Red. Who are you?”

  I take a step back. “Liv, it’s me, David, your husband. Didn’t you tell me to meet you here at the Golden Gate Bridge?”

  Her eyebrows furrow, and she scratches her head. “He doesn’t deserve me.” She glances at the watch I gave her, removes it, and hands it to me. “Please give this to him.”

  I cling to the watch like it’s a lifeline to her.

  She closes her eyes. “It’s time.”

  “Liv, you need to get a grip on yourself.” I shake her. From the corner of my eye, I spot my mother, Ruby, and Detective Reed approaching the entrance of the bridge. Fuck! “We need to get out of here.”

  Liv opens her eyes and stares up at the sky, the sun glaring directly at her. “Please tell my husband I’m sorry, I wasn’t the wife he deserved to have, and my only wish is to be happy.”

  With both hands, she pulls herself up the railings and takes a big leap, her arms swaying like an eagle.

  I extend my arms, hoping to save her, but all I’m able to grab is her red scarf. Her body falls to the water and crashes through the waves. “Liv. Liv!”

  Tourists yell behind me and cover their mouths. Ruby, Mom, and the detective rush to my side. A crowd of sea gulls flock to the water. People step out from their cars to see what happened but all I can do is yell again. How could she do this to me?

  Moments later, I’m still astounded by what Liv did. I never expected her to do that, but now I realize it was Liv’s way. She died to save me from her. Even in death, Liv pulled one over me. Even in death, Liv had to make a dramatic scene. Even in death, Liv wanted to depart from this world as not forgotten. Everybody will remember Olivia Walters as the woman who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. Liv beat me to it because she thought I was going to leave her again. In the end, my wife, Olivia Walters wanted me to know she would die for me so I could be free.

  60

  Day 30

  Liv

  David is a fool to believe I bought the story that he’s dying. I’ve never seen him so strong and vibrant. I’ve accepted his choice. David doesn’t love me. I can’t force him to stay nor can I coerce him to love me. But I can do something more powerful. David will always remember me.

  I wait for him at the Golden Gate Bridge. He will come. How can he not? I want to see him for the last time, the happy cheerful man he now is.

  Gripping the red scarf I used the first night I met Aiden, I realize that choosing to forget I was David’s wife and embracing my alter ego, Red, is the only way to erase the pain.

  I never realized how symbolic this scarf has become. When you pretend you’re someone else, it erases the pain you possess, the same pain I want to very much forget.

  David waves at me from afar. He exposed the same boyish grin he had when I met him. But there’s no time to think of that now.

  Looking into David’s eyes, I learn I can never make him happy again, but as I decide to depart from this world, there is one thing I will leave with David, a piece of me. David will never forget me.

  As I take one last look at my husband, David and return the watch he gave me, I realize that I’ve completed my thirty-day project and this is the end. My goal is to remember the expression of the man I’ve truly loved before I lift myself up and jump. I’m now ready to make a big statement. Right when my body glides to the ocean, for the first time in my life, I’ve learned to let go. An image of flames flashes upon me, and I hear my foster parents screaming for help. I read the doctor’s lips saying, “I’m sorry for the loss of your baby.” I spot my husband’s face on the first day I met him. Emily’s mural and Aiden’s face appears next. Everything that has haunted me will now end. Soon, peace surges inside me. There’s no looking back. I close my eyes, and my body crashes to the waves.

  “David!” I shout, air escaping my lungs moments before my head explodes on the rocks.

  I’m now part of the ocean, never ending, never beginning, never forgotten.

  Epilogue

  Today marks one year since Liv died. I can still hear the echo as she yelled my name before her body crashed into the waves. I sometimes wonder if Liv thought this was a game where she could win or if this was part of her thirty-day wisdom project, but I’ll never know. Although I don’t live in San Francisco anymore, people still recognize me as the husband of the woman who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. Liv did a good job leaving her remnants behind.

  I recently moved into a new condo in Seattle after living with Mom in Boston for eight months. She was afraid to let me live alone after what happened. As for Ruby, she felt justice was never served for her brother, Aiden. And Christopher and Patrick never anticipated Liv would do such a thing. It just goes to show that nobody, including me, knew what Liv was capable off. I completely forgot Liv set up The David Walters foundation. When they asked if I wanted to be a part of it, to help other missing people, I told them my desire of leaving everything behind.

  Seattle is a great place to start over. Wilma, my cat and constant companion, provides comfort in the stillness of the night. Looks like I’ll never be ready for a relationship. My work dynamics has changed. I have an office in the heart of the city and have a team of graphic designers working for me.

  While I never heard from Emily again, I know she made a lot of money when she released her Memoir. However, it was a pale comparison to the news of Liv’s death. There’s no interest in my part to read the book. I often wonder what would have happened if Liv didn’t end her life. Where would we be now?

  I’ve found a surprising new hobby―skateboarding. That’s right. Sometimes you need to get out of your comfort zone. Skating is very soothing, and although I’m probably one of the older guys here, I’ve challenged myself to swerve down the slopes with my new friends. At times, I find myself admiring a mural of fishes with different colors. Being a part of a skateboard club can be liberating. Nobody cares what I’m thinking, and they’re not here to judge you.

  Tonight, the group gathers together in a circle while the bonfire cackles. Jeremy, the leader of our skateboard club, suggests we get rid of the things that bind us. Tommy, the man sitting beside me, ditches his Zippo lighter as he professes that he’ll quit
smoking. Sitting across me, Arnold hurls his sets of dice, confessing how gambling hurt his family.

  It’s my turn. Rising from the stool, I toss Liv’s red scarf into the roaring fire. The flames eagerly devour it, destroying the material, turning it even redder before it burns away, melting to ashes as I let go of the ghosts of my past. Tears spill from my cheeks as I release a breath, something I haven’t done in a long time.

  Tomorrow is a new day, and for once, I can live again.

  Acknowledgments

  A big thanks to my editors, Nicole Zoltack and Marcie Stevens for helping me shape my story. To my proofreader, Gail Picado, thanks for your keen eye and thorough work. To my formatter, Rachelle Ayala, thanks for always being so patient and helpful. Thanks to my cover artist, Natasha Brown for creating covers that are heartfelt and meaningful. Thanks to Angie Velez, Luisa Miciano and Bryanne Taladua for assisting me with my medical research. A big thanks to my loving husband, Arnel Solon, and sweet son, Stefan Solon, for your patience and understanding as I completed this novel. Thank you to all my readers and fans for supporting me with my books. Thank you to God for planting dreams and making them realities.

  About the Author

  Geraldine Solon is the award-winning, bestselling author of Love Letters, Chocolicious, The Assignment, The Lost Flower, Never Look Back, Thirty Days of Red and a marketing guidebook for authors, Authorpreneur in Pajamas. She served as Treasurer, Event Coordinator and Vice President for the Fremont Area Writers club. Geraldine lives in the San Francisco Bay area.

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