On 4/19 (On 4/19 and Beyond 4/20)

by Lisa Heaton

  The next morning, Chelsea was up and dressed early. Earlier that morning, she had gone down to speak to the concierge, asking him to direct her to the nearest poor section of town. As she anticipated, he thought she was out of her mind, but she pressed him for the information. Her plan was to locate some local churches and find a few families who were in need and buy them some groceries. At dinner the night before, she had asked John if they could forgo the expensive clothes and dinner the next night and instead spend that money giving to others. Without hesitation, he agreed. She also had some of her own money she planned to contribute. Anticipation of the day to come had kept her up much of the night, but even without enough sleep, the thought of what she was about to do energized her.

  Once John was up and dressed, they set off in search of the poor. When he agreed to take the day off and spend it with her doing charity work, you would have thought, based on her excitement, that he offered to buy her the moon. In the weeks he had come to know her, he always greatly respected her, but this day, he found such deep admiration for her, he could hardly imagine her not being in his life. When such disturbing thoughts came, his only reassurance was in knowing there was indeed a termination date for their agreement. If not, he might find himself a bit concerned about his growing fondness of her.

  For him her age was still deterrent enough to keep him from longing for her in any physical sense. Certainly she was beautiful and even alluring at times, but her innocence was always a restraining force that kept his mind from considering her in that way. A rock solid friendship was forming. He simply liked being in her company. She had a way of looking at the world that kept him grounded. Never having known a woman, other than his mother, who was less selfish or concerned about her own happiness, John found Chelsea to be the kind of young woman he would be proud to call his daughter. While his feelings didn’t exactly remain fully in the consider-her-a-daughter camp, especially when she was so elegantly dressed the night of the opera, he still maintained what he believed to be a healthy boundary where his feelings for her were concerned.

  When they arrived at the first church, Chelsea pressed the intercom for assistance from the church office. When the voice sounded, Chelsea informed them, “We’re here to make a donation.” She giggled and looked at John. “That’ll get ‘em to open the door.”

  Once inside she told the receptionist in the office that they would like to purchase food for families in need. Fairly surprised by the offer, the woman assured them she had many families who could use assistance. Providing John and Chelsea with a list of needed items, the woman prayed with them and sent them off to the local market.

  Shopping together was tremendously fun. Purchasing non-perishable items, they filled cart after cart with food. The store manager soon joined them, and before long, they had all they needed to fill more than twenty grocery bags. Each family would receive two. While they were there, John also purchased gift cards for the market so that each family would be able to go back and buy bread, milk, and produce.

  Arriving with groceries at the church, several people were already waiting in anticipation. One woman was in tears as she took her sacks of food and that caused Chelsea to cry too. When Chelsea walked with her to the car, John watched as she knelt beside the open door next to the woman and prayed for her. Both were sobbing, and in that moment, watching such a sight, John realized he’d lost himself somewhere along the way. There was a point at which God could have used him that way. But because of the path he chose, his heart became hardened enough that such things no longer mattered to him. If given the opportunity, John decided watching Chelsea, he would do things differently. He would be much more like her.

  The remainder of the day John and Chelsea spent visiting two other churches and purchasing groceries for more families. All totaled, they helped more than thirty families. Based on John’s estimations, he determined he and Chelsea had provided food for more than a hundred people. Never had he felt more energized than he had in helping others. Certainly, he gave large amounts to various charities each year, but he never was able to see the outcome of his giving. Today, he witnessed tears and laughter, and it was well worth taking the day off from work and every penny spent. Knowing that people would eat a healthier meal that night gave him such satisfaction that he was already considering how he might do something similar back home and on a regular basis.

  Prior to returning to their room, they grabbed a quick bite at a sandwich shop in the hotel. Chelsea couldn’t help but notice the difference in John’s disposition. Since they entered the first market he had a glow about him that caused him to seem years younger. Feeling flushed, she reached for her drink and slurped the last of her cola. Peeking at him over her glass, all she could think was how handsome he looked in his casual clothes and warm glow of satisfaction. He seemed like a totally different man than the well dressed, serious man who often spoke sharply into the phone. That evening, she found he smiled more than she had ever seen him smile. It seemed the more he smiled the more she was affected by it. Once or twice, she found herself trying to think of funny things to say just to see him smile more.

  As John finished his sandwich, he began to discuss with Chelsea the charities he contributed to and asked her opinion. Anticipating she would confirm that he was making good choices, he instead found her disapproving of many of them. Chelsea approved of the medical charities to which he contributed, but she was less approving of the art-related causes. She reminded him that what children need is food and parents who know how to parent. Going on to tell him of all the ways his money could benefit their local community back in L.A., she quickly had him convinced that he should redirect his contributions to programs that feed the hungry, help people find recovery from addiction, and, without apology she added, to find Jesus.

  Never having anticipated the impact that reaching out to people in need could make in his life, John went to bed filled with regret over all the opportunities he’d missed. The amount of money he had was obscene when viewed alongside the lack of so many. John slept little that night, and when he did, it was fitful at best.

  Waking Chelsea early, John was already dressed for work. He asked if she would like to tag along with him, and without hesitation, she said yes. Not having anything appropriate to wear, she settled on khaki pants and a light sweater. Apologizing when she met John in the common area of their suite, Chelsea feared he would regret asking her to join him. “I wish I had something more businesslike.”

  “You’re fine as you are.”

  “Yeah, says the man in a tailored Italian suit.”

  Smiling at her, he removed his jacket and began to roll up his sleeves. “Is this better?”

  “A little.” Her chest felt suddenly warm.

  A call came in and as John talked, Chelsea simply stood mesmerized, watching him. There was something about his gesture that caused her stomach to flutter. When they were together, everything he did was to make her happy or comfortable or smile. Did he know what he was doing to her? Did he realize that in his endless pursuit of her happiness, he was causing her to fall in love with him? Recalling that very first day when he so severely warned her that there could never be a romantic relationship between them, did he know then she’d fall for him as she was? Many times he made reference to the end of their arrangement, as if reminding her. While it was usually disguised as general conversation, his meaning was still clear. He would make comments like, “Until next spring,” or, “Over the next year.” When he would say such things, it was her reminder that she was disposable.

  That one thought led naturally to another. She’d often wondered if another girl would come after her. For the first time, she had to question if she was the first. Was that how he knew to give the warning? Had he ended similar relationships and left other women longing for more? The sudden realization that she was likely not the first or last caused her to feel much less special than she had just moments before when he removed his jacket. From that point and for the remainder of the
day, nothing felt as it had before. Her excitement fell and her defenses rose.

  Prior to breaking for lunch, as Chelsea sat at a conference table waiting for John to return from taking a private call, an attorney whom John had been in a rather heated conversation with earlier glanced quickly at Chelsea and snapped, “Get me a cup of black coffee.”

  Beginning to rise from her chair, she felt a hand touch her shoulder and press her back into her seat. John was standing behind her, and when she looked up at him, by the look on his face, she could see that he was angry. The meeting continued for only a few minutes more, and all the while, Chelsea watched as John hammered the man on overlooked details of a deal he was responsible for. Throughout the meeting, Chelsea had taken notes. It was as if she were in a live action business class, and it was tremendously interesting.

  What she found most intriguing was John’s manner with people. One minute he would be complimentary, the next he was shredding someone apart. He was never rude or loud, instead he was so thorough and detail oriented, that nothing slipped by him. Often, someone would cut their eyes around at another business associate, obviously trying to conceal a matter. John never missed the slightest nuance or hidden agenda in the room. Even though she had decided to take a step back from him emotionally, she could do nothing but admire him for the businessman he was. It was no wonder he was so successful. If, she thought to herself, she actually ever entered into a corporate position, she would take some of who John was into her career with her. As much as she admired him, she could see that others did as well, with the exception of the man who ordered her to get his coffee.

  When they were alone eating their lunch, John blurted out, “Don’t ever allow anyone to treat you that way.”

  Having known the conversation would arise, Chelsea was prepared for it. Since leaving the office, she knew he was still fuming over what happened. Smiling at him, she offered, “It was only coffee. I wouldn’t have minded getting a simple cup of coffee.”

  “It was more than a simple cup of coffee. You should have caught that.”

  “In what way was it more than that?”

  “You saw our earlier exchange. He was angry with me and directed it toward you. It was obvious he was hoping to degrade you in order to get to me.” From the moment John entered the room and heard Carl try to send Chelsea on such an errand, he could hardly contain his irritation. The fact that she was about to stand and comply only made him angrier. He wasn’t angry with her. It was the fact that she was being used to spite him. And even more disturbing for him, was the sense of protectiveness he felt toward her. At one point, even angrier than he’d been in Vegas, he actually considered decking the guy. What in the world was this girl doing to him?

  “Why would that degrade me?”

  “He was asking you to do something menial, something beneath you in order to make you feel unworthy.”

  “Getting a cup of coffee is hardly beneath me.”

  “You were there with me. For all he knew, you were my assistant. In that case, he hardly had the right to order you around.”

  “Isn’t that what an assistant does at times, get coffee?”

  “Not my assistant.”

  “You mean Irene never brings you coffee?”

  “Well, sure she brings me coffee. But no one else has the right to order her around.”

  “Has she ever gotten coffee for anyone else?”

  “Yes. But this is different.”

  Chelsea chuckled. His case was pretty flimsy and his frustration amusing.

  Resting his knife and fork on the edge of his plate, he sighed and sat back in his seat. “Did you know why he ordered you to get the coffee?”

  “Absolutely. I’m young and clearly not your assistant. He thinks we are sleeping together, so he did that just to get under your skin.”

  John smiled back at her. “Good girl, Chels. You didn’t miss a thing.” Leaning in, he asked, “So why then were you standing to get his coffee?”

  “Mostly, I wanted him to see that it didn’t faze me that he thought so little of me.” Shrugging, she added, “And I suppose that deep down, I’m just sweet. I have a servant’s heart.”

  John could find nothing to say in return. Sure, he was glad that Carl’s opinion affected her so little. That was exactly what he hoped to see change about her, to be less affected by others. But after what she said about having a servant’s heart, he realized she was very unlikely to ever become a shark, and because of that, he feared she would never really make it in the business world.

  It was Sunday and Chelsea was dressed and ready to leave for church. There was a megachurch in Sydney that she’d seen on TV, and she was determined to go and see what it was like to worship there. Since she’d seen nothing of John yet, her plan was to leave him a note and let him sleep in that morning. With the schedule he kept, he needed the extra sleep. Most nights when she was going off to bed, he was opening his laptop to catch up on emails and study files. Sometimes if she woke in the night to go to the bathroom, she would see that the light in the living room was still on and he was still out there working. Hands down, he was the most driven man she had ever known. While the men in her family were hard workers, there wasn’t that sense of being driven to the point of obsession like John was. Their real treasure was family. It was sad for John that he’d likely never have that.

  When he came into the living room she was surprised to see him up and ready. He was dressed for work. “I didn’t think you would be working today. I thought you were still sleeping, so I was trying to slip out quietly.”

  “Hardly. I’ve been up for a couple of hours. I went out for a run, showered, and here I am dressed for church.” He found her speechless as she stood there looking at him, trying to absorb his words. Chuckling at her, he reached his hand out and touched her chin, lifting it back into place. “Don’t be so surprised. I went to church from the time I was born until I left home. I know how to go. I just don’t.” That wasn’t exactly true. When he was home visiting his folks, he went with them. It was never up for discussion, and he would never disrespect his parents by refusing to go. They were truly devoted Christians. For all of his life, they lived out what they believed. There were no better people than his parents.

  Although wanting to ask him what made him decide to go, she decided to wait. Instead, she followed him to the door and down the hallway toward the elevator. In the past days since she had come to suspect she wasn’t the only one he “maintained,” she’d been more easily able to keep up her defenses. But then he would go and do something as unexpected, as sweet as he was doing then, and it would cause her to drop her guard again. In those moments, she would find herself wishing there could be more between them. No matter their age difference, she wanted him to be hers. Without question, she knew what a terrible mistake she was making by entertaining such thoughts. But still they came.

  Riding quietly in the elevator, John watched Chelsea’s expressions with curiosity. Several times she bit at her lip as if she were nervous. Once he asked, “Do you mind if I go with you? I suppose I could have asked that earlier.”

  “Of course I don’t mind. I guess I’m just surprised.” Smiling happily, she added, “A pleasant surprise. This place is supposed to be huge, so I’ll be glad to have you with me. I imagine it’ll seem overwhelming.”

  Since the first day she went to work with him, he’d asked her to go each day thereafter. So over the past several days, they had spent very little time apart. It was difficult, to say the least, to keep her mind and heart in the right place. The scariest part of their time together was the fact that it felt so right to be with him. Conversation came so easily for them; it was as if they’d known each for years rather than weeks.

  At work, before a meeting, he would explain the dynamics of the situation they were going into. She was able to watch him in action more, and because of it, she could do nothing but admire him even more than in the beginning. He was the most amazing man she had ever known. Not only wa
s he brilliant in business, he was masterful with people. It was as if he could get others to do exactly what he wanted with very little effort. Each time she would witness his ability to influence others so easily, it was her reminder to maintain her guard. So far, it wasn’t working as well as she’d hoped.

  John had a car waiting for them when they exited the hotel, and they drove the short distance to the church. Once inside and the music began, Chelsea was easily able to let go of all the cumbersome thoughts she had been tossing around throughout the morning. Before she knew it, the music filled her heart and it was only her and Jesus meeting together amidst the masses.

  It was like nothing John had ever witnessed. The church was so drastically different than his parents’ church, that he could hardly believe it was the same religion. There were no hymnals, no organs. Instead the music sounded similar to what he might hear on the radio, only the words were clearly Christian. The first songs were more upbeat. But when the third song began, the lights were dimmed a bit and the massive room took on an entirely different atmosphere. So caught up in the moment were the people around him, that many were holding their hands up high into the air. His first thought was that it was somehow pretense on their part. But that thought faded when he looked next to him and there was Chelsea with both arms lifted high. The look on her face was that of such serenity and peace, he knew there was nothing but honest worship in her heart. She sang loudly and so beautifully that it took him totally by surprise. He could only wonder how a person could get to such a place. How could it be so real for her? Yet for him, he never found his way to that place of being authentic.

  When he was a teenager, having just turned fifteen, he went forward and said the sinner’s prayer just as he was instructed. He asked with all sincerity for Jesus to forgive his sins, come into his life, and to be his Savior. He truly believed he was saved. Over the next two years, he tried to feel what others felt, but it never came. Because he did what was right and lived the life his parents expected of him during that time, they had no cause to question his faith. Outwardly, he was doing all the right things, but inside he found he felt like little more than an imposter. What he was sure of that day was that Chelsea was exactly who she professed to be. It went beyond her physical actions; he was witnessing an internal surrender. Such a thing baffled him. His mother took on a similar expression when she sang, and John had always wondered how one could feel so near while another felt so far away.