On 4/19 (On 4/19 and Beyond 4/20)

by Lisa Heaton

  His embrace brought her a sense of wellbeing like she hadn’t known in many years. The way his fingers circled delicately around in circles on her back, the way his breathing quickened at their closeness, the world suddenly seemed to make sense, as if she’d always belonged in his arms. Looking up at him, she said, “Another thing I want: I want to feel free to call or text you any time, like a real girlfriend.”

  He never knew she didn’t feel free to do that. Come to think of it, she almost never called him. He could probably count on one hand how many times she had, and each of those times it was for a specific reason. “You can call or text me anytime. Have I ever made you feel as if you couldn’t?”

  “Not really. But you were calling all the shots. This was your arrangement. I was your employee, basically an on-call employee.”

  Hearing her speak their terms aloud, he felt pretty disgusted with himself. Of course she felt of little worth to him, disposable even. Nothing was further from the truth. If she only knew how often he fought the urge to call, fearing he would be invading her personal time.

  Tucking her hair behind her ear, he leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I’m so sorry.” He sighed. “Sorry for how I’ve treated you, sorry for how I’ve made you feel. You mean more to me than you could possibly know.” Grinning, he promised, “I’ll get better at this.”

  Taking her hand, he led her back indoors and to the sofa. Sitting down, he pulled her down to sit next to him. Turning to face her, he said, “Chelsea, I’m asking you to be my girlfriend. I want this to be exclusive, no dating anyone else, you or me. You can call me or text me anytime, day or night. If you need milk at three a.m., I’m your guy. When we are at a party, I’ll say, “This is my girlfriend, Chelsea. And yes, I know I’m old enough to be her father.”

  “Don’t say that.” She couldn’t help but smile. He was plunging into something that he had run from for many years, and she understood how difficult it must be for him.

  “Will it bother you when we get those looks?”

  “We get those looks now, and it doesn’t bother me.”

  “They think you’re a gold-digger and I’m a dirty old man.”

  “I know what they think, but we know better.”

  “Okay, if I’m your boyfriend,” he could hardly call himself that at the age of forty-eight, but he continued anyway, “does that mean I finally get to kiss you?”

  Biting at her lip, she nodded. Reaching up, she touched the tips of her fingers to his cheek. It was rough to the touch. His days began so early that it had been many hours since he’d shaved.

  Suddenly, the mood was not quite so playful. John was looking into her eyes and realized he’d crossed a line already that would certainly prove to be a mistake. Her fingers on his skin caused his heart rate to steadily increase. Somehow he knew once he kissed her, there would be no turning back. Leaning in slowly, watching her eyes flutter closed, the moment felt suddenly awkward, too forced to be the right time. Pulling away, leaving her there puckered up in anticipation, he said, “This is too contrived. It’ll happen when the time is right.”

  Swatting at him, she said, “That was just plain mean.”

  He laughed and pulled her to him, relieved that they had come to an understanding, one that would make her happy and keep her with him, for the time being anyway. What she said before was true, it would hurt now or then. Why would he not take whatever time he could have with her? In the back of his mind, he held on to the one thing he knew would keep them both safe. Come April nineteenth, he would walk away. It was what was best for them both. It was their safety net.

  Not long before midnight, Chelsea walked with John to the door, and again, the moment felt awkward, so she wasn’t sure if he would try to kiss her goodnight. Remaining still as he walked through the doorway, she watched as he turned back to face her. His jacket was hooked on one finger, hanging across his shoulder. With that crooked smile of his, in that moment, she was sure he had never looked more handsome. When he reached for her face, she found she was holding her breath, so she tried to quietly exhale. He slid his hand behind her neck and pulled her nearer. Gently, he pressed his lips to hers. It was soft and simple, a beautiful first kiss.

  When he raised his head and looked into her eyes, he knew beyond any doubt, he was falling for this very, very young woman. “Goodnight, Chelsea.”

  No doubt googlie-eyed, she whispered, “Goodnight, John.”

  As soon as she was alone, she went immediately to get her phone. She texted: Best: my first kiss in five years. Worst: feeling disposable.

  John was on the elevator when his phone sounded. Reading her text, he replied: B: you’re mine. W: Making you feel disposable. You’re anything but. Just as he hit “Send” the elevator doors opened. Allowing the doors to close again, he pressed the button to return to her floor.

  Chelsea was standing out on the balcony watching for his car to pass through the gates when she heard the knock. She opened the door and found John standing there with his hands tucked in his pockets.

  “First one in five years. Really?”

  “Really.”

  “I could’ve done better.” Stepping forward, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her again. This time, he did so with the intention of making up for five years of not being kissed. So quickly did the kiss intensify, that before he knew it, he had pressed her against the open door for better traction. Long and with little reserve, he kissed her. Finally, lifting his head, he looked into her eyes and whispered, “The first of many. I promise.”

  As she watched him make his second trek to the elevator, Chelsea could hardly swallow for the lump in her throat. Now that was a kiss worth waiting for.

  Chelsea arrived at work the following morning to find a vase of her favorite flowers sitting on her desk. Several people were already in the office, and with no real walls between their desks for privacy, she found they were looking at her, hoping for some explanation.

  The card simply said, “I’m glad you’re mine. John.” Grinning inside and out, she tried to imagine him ordering them, but then stopped to wonder if Irene might have done it. Probably so, but whatever the case, she was pleased that he remembered about the daises. She mentioned it on the plane coming home from Las Vegas when she told him about her late grandmother and how they grew them together when she was a little girl.

  Intentionally, she didn’t make eye contact with anyone around her. Dating the boss would likely be frowned upon, so she had no intention of making it public. She was not exactly sure how John wanted to handle it, but was frustrated to know that she was still faced with living in secrecy. At that realization, the glow of their new relationship dimmed somewhat. She was no longer forced to hide her feelings from John, but she would have to pretend around everyone else. Instead of enjoying her time with him, she would constantly be weary of saying or doing the wrong thing.

  Chelsea reached out to touch the petal of a daisy and once again found herself grinning. Soon, a little more than an hour away, at nine o’clock, she would see him at a meeting. The mere thought of it thrilled her and caused her heart to race in anticipation. Sitting quietly, she looked again at the card. Never had she been happier about anything than to be his. And clearly, he felt the same.

  When it was time to go in, the conference room was already full. This meeting was for those who reported directly to John and Mark, division heads. Most of the people who sat near her cubicle were not at that level. It was more for people who had a real office around the perimeter of the building; some even traveled in from around the globe. Since this was her first quarterly meeting to attend, she had no idea what to expect. There were more people gathered than she anticipated. With the exception of the end seat at the massive conference table and the one to the left of it, all seats in the room were already taken, which left her standing near the door, leaning against the wall.

  When John walked in, he smiled at her and winked. Though she smiled back at him in what she hoped was a casual way, i
nside she was a mess. The sight of him brought with it flashes of memory from their last moments together the night before. What began as a tender kiss quickly became this moment that left her trembling in her doorway. Her legs were like jelly as she watched him stride confidently toward the elevator, obviously pleased with himself over the second kiss. Just as he entered the elevator, he glanced back at her and grinned, then paused for a second and winked. Standing there amidst the mass of KI execs, she had to wonder if he was remembering as she was.

  The man beside her nudged her and pointed toward John. “He’s calling for you.”

  Having been so lost in thought, she hadn’t heard. When she looked at John, embarrassed that he caught her daydreaming, she realized he was pointing to the seat next to him. Moving quickly toward the seat, when she reached it, she noticed the notepad sitting there had her name scrawled across it. Someone had placed it there to reserve a seat for her. Feeling very conspicuous, she rolled the chair out and sat quietly without looking around.

  John leaned over and said, “Be prepared to discuss your final recommendations for our community outreach.” Then he turned the other direction and began discussing something else with Mark.

  Chelsea felt like a deer in the headlights. She hadn’t brought any of her notes in with her. Looking at the clock, she knew they were about to begin, so she had no time to go get her file. The room was loud with chatter, at least four different conversations going on at once, but all Chelsea could hear was a roaring sound in her head. She was in a total state of panic. Finally, closing her eyes for a second, she prayed, “Lord, please bring my notes to mind. I’m in big trouble here.”

  The meeting was similar to the ones in Sydney. John’s expectations of his employees were extremely high. Each person was allowed time to explain where they were on reaching goals set in the previous quarterly meeting. Some did not meet John’s expectation, and his displeasure was obvious by the way he hammered them with follow up questions. Each person in that room, with the exception of Mark, looked just as nervous as she felt. It was evident on the faces of most of them. Though they tried to appear calm on the surface they gave little signs of anxiety, some tapping their pen on the table lightly, some coughing and clearing their throats. John was a force to be reckoned with in that meeting, and Chelsea found that she was seeing a side of him that she’d never encountered before. He was aggressive and so in control that she found herself nearly fearing him when it was her time to speak.

  By the time he called on her, she had tried to reconstruct her notes from memory as best she could. First he introduced her and what she would be presenting. It was his goal to have everyone, at every level, participate in a community outreach program. Her recommendation for the local office was that they serve at a charity called The Harvest House, an organization that provided boxed groceries to families in need. The group aspect would require volunteers to sort and load boxes. Each person could sign up with Chelsea for a shift that would begin on a weekday after lunch. Of course, each employee would be paid for the full day. The project would go on for months until every employee had an opportunity to serve. Eventually, all throughout KI, charities would be selected for those employees outside of the L.A. area to volunteer.

  As she spoke, she began to feel at ease. It came very naturally, and maybe because it was something she was so passionate about and believed in so much, it all flowed effortlessly. Many of the executives seemed excited about the project. Only a few appeared to be checked out as she spoke, which was more or less to be expected. Not everyone had a heart for that kind of thing. She dared not look at John, but when she was finished, she glanced his way only to find him smiling broadly at her. He was the first to volunteer for a shift, which caused others to nod in agreement, assuring her they were on board.

  John’s heart was so full of pride and satisfaction; he could hardly get his mind back on track to facilitate the remainder of the meeting. Once, while Chelsea spoke, he turned to look at Mark to gauge his reaction, only to find him mesmerized by her. Most in the room were. With her soft-spoken speech, some were leaning in, as if fearing they may miss something, hanging on to her every word. If it were only the men, he’d have believed it to be that alluring, unspeakable quality about her that was drawing them in. But it was the women too. The air was charged and energized. When she was finished, John had to take a moment, sip some water, and pretend to study some notes on the pad of paper before him just to get himself together enough to continue on.

  The remainder of the meeting was a breeze compared to the beginning. Awaiting her turn was agonizing, and Chelsea could only feel for the others as they waited to be called upon. Finally, when the last division head was finished, John stood, indicating the meeting was over. As people began to stir, he said, “Oh.” Everyone froze. “Just so it’s no secret, Chelsea and I are dating. So whoever has been asking her out needs to stop. Make sure of it.”

  You could have heard a pin drop. People remained frozen in the position they were to begin with. Some were looking at her, some at him. Chelsea wanted to crawl under the table. When she looked at John, he was grinning at her with his crooked grin. Leaning in closer, he kissed her cheek and said he’d see her for lunch. The room finally cleared and Chelsea crept quietly back to her cubicle. Once there, figuring the news was spreading like wildfire, she kept her head down and pretended to be engrossed in what she was reading.

  As was typical of him, John conducted business throughout half of lunch. Ending his third call, he reminded her, “Technically, this is still business hours, so I can’t be considered a thoughtless boyfriend. After hours, I’ll do much better. I promise you.”

  Chelsea had already eaten as much as she was going to. After that stunning moment at the end of the meeting, she would not likely eat a full meal again all week. Finally having his attention, she asked, “Why did you announce that we are dating the way you did?”

  Since she was half smiling, he decided she wasn’t too angry about it. But he knew when he did it that he embarrassed her. The look on her face, along with everyone else’s was priceless. “You’re mine now, and I just wanted to make it clear.” He didn’t mention that he was becoming more and more jealous hearing about all the attention she was getting around the office. Plus, seeing the way she so captivated her audience as she spoke, he wanted to head off any more advances. “And like I said, I didn’t want it to be some secret or something we would keep hidden. That’s how I do things, straight on.”

  “So you were laying claim on me?” She grinned at him.

  “Absolutely. I knew guys were hitting on you after your second day. I can’t blame them, but now, I don’t have to worry about them either.”

  “You never had to worry.”

  Her tone had softened so much, it was nearly a whisper. The way she was looking at him made him wish they were alone and not in a crowded restaurant. His phone rang, and uncharacteristically, he reached for it and sent the call straight to voicemail. “Honestly, I have worried about it. I couldn’t stand the thought of you being with anyone else.”

  Chelsea was silent; her emotions got the best of her. If he only knew just how much she’d come to love him, how he was the only man she could ever see a future with, he would’ve never been concerned. Fearing she would say too much, she decided not to say anything at all. She instead looked down and picked at the food remaining on her plate.

  Reaching across the table to take her hand, he said, “After Sunday, let’s head out of town for a while.”

  He’d never looked at her the way he was looking at her then. It caused her stomach to flip and flop. “I’d love that.” She didn’t care where or even think to ask.

  Just then, he moved her hand to his lips and kissed her palm. “You make me incredibly happy. I regret wasting so much time.”

  Chelsea knew that John would be out in the crowd. Since she was there early for Sunday school, they agreed when they spoke that morning that he’d save her a seat for when she was finished sing
ing. So far, she had yet to spot him. Standing in the wings, she waited anxiously for her time to go out. While she was not nervous about singing, she was a little nervous that it was her first time in front of John. When it was time, she walked to the piano and sat. Sometimes she sang with others, this morning though, she’d been asked to sing a solo. Prior to beginning, she looked out and scanned the crowd again hoping to find John. This time she found him there smiling back at her.

  While he wasn’t sure exactly what to expect, nothing about the morning so far had been as he anticipated. His expectation was again that of the traditional church his parents had always attended. And although Chelsea’s church was in no way the size of the megachurch in Sydney, it was still a very large church. There were hundreds of people, many of whom had been very welcoming as he entered and took his seat. Then Chelsea walked out alone wearing a simple black dress. He had imagined her singing with a choir, and dressed in a choir robe. It was when she took a seat at the piano that he was most surprised since he had no idea she played. She had no piano, so how could she possibly practice?

  When she began to play, he found his heart was racing. For some reason, he was nervous for her. Though she looked perfectly at ease, he could hardly imagine how she could be so comfortable with so many eyes watching her. Then she began to sing, and he realized he hardly knew her at all. There was an entire side to Chelsea that was still a mystery to him. That was why he’d asked her to travel with him; he wanted to learn every single thing there was to know about her. And the trip they were about to take would give him the opportunity to see her in the environment that mattered most to him.