On 4/19 (On 4/19 and Beyond 4/20)

by Lisa Heaton

  There are a few other matters of business. Just as your locket was, the condo was also a Christmas gift. I found a buyer for you and have deposited the proceeds of the sale into a bank account in your name. The deposit book is in the top drawer of this desk. You will need to meet with the bank manager to sign some paperwork.

  Along with your bankbook, you will find the deed to your family’s farm. As proud as I have seen your father to be, I imagine it will not be very well received, but I figure there is not much he can do to me. Tell him for me that it was my honor to help a man who has worked hard his entire life. I admire his dedication to his farm and to his family.

  Finally, there is another account waiting for you at the bank. It’s my part in helping you to change the world. I would like for you to use the money to begin charity work of your choosing. For as long as the funds last, I know you will do with them what is right. I imagine you will dig wells and feed the hungry. I have no doubt that you will choose well.

  Having you in my life has changed me in so many ways. Mostly, I discovered something about myself. Deep inside there is a man who can love and give. Because of you, I’ve caught a glimpse of the young man I used to be before there was never enough. Thank you for helping me find myself again. Meeting you was the single most notable day of my life. While this time apart has been difficult, I have found that, like you, I would not take anything for the experience.

  With love,

  John

  Chelsea sat staring at the letter. After reading it once more, she sat it on the desk and opened the desk drawer. Collecting the bankbooks and envelope from the drawer, she laid them out on the desk. Opening the first bankbook she found it showed a balance of nearly three million dollars, the proceeds from the condo. Covering her face with her hands, she tried to wrap her mind around that extraordinary amount of money. The amount for charity was two million, and then there was the deed to her parents’ farm. Looking at the clock, seeing that it was not yet four a.m., she knew it was too early to drive out to the farm. As soon as it was sun-up, she would go and tell her father the news.

  Since she’d been home, she only understood for the first time the gravity of the financial situation with the farm. When he admitted there was a possibility of losing it, for the first time ever, she saw a look of defeat in her father’s eyes. It was heartbreaking. He was never one to give up on anything, but she sensed he was losing the battle where the farm was concerned. This would give him a fresh start, one that he genuinely deserved.

  When Chelsea did leave for her parents’, she found herself nervous about breaking the news to them, especially to him. As much as he might be relieved, the fact that John had paid off the note might not sit well with her dad. But as she discovered with all the things John had done for her, there was really no way of undoing them. Sure, she could send John a check for five million dollars, but he didn’t have to cash it. In the case of the farm, her dad could never un-pay-off the loan. The loan was closed out and the deed was in her parents’ names. It was theirs, like it or not.

  Sitting at the breakfast table, Chelsea ate quietly. Lexie and Preston asked a dozen questions about the house, like why would John do something like that after they broke up? Why a house in town? Why didn’t he come and talk to them at graduation? Some of the questions had a simple answer, some did not. All the while, she picked at her food trying to work up the nerve to tell her father. The nerve never came.

  After breakfast, Chelsea followed him out to the barn. His face seemed drawn and pale. With his interrupted night of sleep, that could be the cause, but more likely than not, it was worry. Farming was all he’d ever done, and the thought of losing the farm that had been in his family for generations was no doubt weighing heavily upon him.

  Once they were alone, Chelsea said, “Daddy, we need to talk.”

  “What is it, moonshine?” The look on her face was grave. Whatever she had to tell him, couldn’t be good news. If anything, he suspected she was leaving for California. Winning Chelsea back was the only reason he could figure for John buying her something so extravagant. For the remainder of the night, after arriving home from her new house, Bob’s mind had been set that Chelsea would soon up and leave home again, a thought that could nearly pull him under if he allowed it. From the very moment she left home life was never the same. He felt an emptiness at the loss of one of his children that never, ever left him. Always he’d anticipated Chelsea would settle near to home, get married, and raise a family. When she announced she was leaving for California, though, life took an unanticipated and life-altering turn. That same feeling of emptiness arose in his chest at the thought of losing her again. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had to wonder if this were some kind of payment for his own failures and wrong choices.

  Handing him the envelope, she said, “This was in the desk. It’s for you.” As he studied the document, she told him what John asked her to pass along. She’d even written the quote on a small piece of paper and tucked it into her pocket.

  Bob turned away, not wanting Chelsea to see him react so emotionally. He’d prayed so hard for the past year, and still he barely stayed above water. In the past few months, he’d all but given up, given up on his own ability to provide, and eventually, given up on God.

  When she realized he was crying, she reached out and touched his shoulder. “Daddy, I hope you aren’t angry. John did what he thought was right. I’m sorry I even mentioned to him that you were struggling.”

  Turning to face her, he quickly pulled her into his arms. “God heard me, Chelsea. He heard!”

  Soon, Chelsea was crying with him. Never once in her entire life had she seen her father as emotional. He was laughing just as hard as he was crying. It was the sweetest moment she could ever recall with him. When he let her go, she watched as he dried his eyes with his sleeve.

  “I had run out of hope.” Taking the deed, he went over to an overturned bucket and sat. “Why? Why would he do something like this?”

  Thinking of all the reasons why, she settled on, “Because he loves me.” Closing her eyes, she cried even harder.

  If John loved her enough to buy her a house and pay off the farm and Chelsea loved him enough to weep like a baby as she was, why then were they not together? It simply didn’t make sense to him.

  Chelsea spent the next few days getting settled at her new house. At first, living in a state of disbelief, she did little in the way of business. She did go to the bank to sign papers for her account as John instructed, she grocery shopped to fill her empty pantry, and she had her family over for her first family dinner. Besides the gift John had given her, they all rejoiced over John’s gift to the entire family. Her father was a different man than he had been in the past year. With the fate of the farm no longer looming overhead, he was much more relaxed and fun to be around. He was like the dad she remembered growing up. In her large living room, they all played games and laughed together. The debilitating depression that plagued Chelsea in the early weeks lifted somewhat. While some days were much more difficult than others, for the most part, she took significant steps toward making a new life.

  After the shock wore off, her sole intention was to form a foundation to utilize the money John gave her, plus much of the money he said was from the sale of the condo. Just as she’d done for Keller Industries, she began new research for where she wanted to begin her donations. Naming the charity The Keller Foundation, she decided it was a way to honor John and all he’d done to give her the gift of being able to change the world. Through prayer and careful consideration, she felt she was to begin giving locally first, through her church, then she would expand her giving to the state level, then nationally, then worldwide. Although she was living in one of the saddest, loneliest seasons of her life, far exceeding the pain she felt at the loss of Tuck, the one bright spot in her world was The Keller Foundation. It gave her reason to get out of bed each morning, and in the weeks to come, it became her sole motivation and calling in life.


  Summer was over and Chelsea found that life had developed a new rhythm. In her home, she was more comfortable and content than she’d ever been anywhere. It was the very first time she had her own place, a home that no one could take from her. Over time she began to find little things to incorporate into each room, things that were more personal to her. All throughout the house, she had family photos, but John’s pictures she only set out in her bedroom.

  His was the first face she saw upon waking and the last before going to sleep each night. The way he looked at her in one photo in particular was what kept her hope alive. Taken in Italy by a passing stranger, the picture captured the way John most often looked at her, as if she were the love of his life. It was that love that kept her going most days, that and the hope that he would call or show up any day.

  His photos were her constant reminder to pray for him, which she did faithfully. They varied day by day. Always she prayed that John could truly know God and the intimate relationship He offered. Many days she prayed for wisdom as he conducted business. Often she prayed for safety for him as he traveled. In praying for him, it kept her closely connected with him and much less lonely. When she framed her circumstance with the thought that John’s life might be forever altered by their separation, it kept her grounded and with the right perspective. Daily she had to put her heart’s desire second to God’s plan for John.

  There were many occasions when she considered calling him or texting. Once she began a text but deleted it without sending. She was desperate to know if he was doing well. The reminder of how he reacted after Tracy’s death often came to mind. He told her he began what became a string of meaningless relationships with many women. How could she not wonder if he was doing the same after she left L.A.? For a year he went without intimacy with her, and she sincerely believed there was no one else while they were together. After that length of time, however, she would be a fool to believe he hadn’t sought comfort in the arms of a woman willing to meet his physical needs. The thought sickened her to the point of physical illness on one occasion. From that night forward, she refused to allow such thoughts to rule her. Instead, she tried to focus on praying for him and carving out a new life for herself.

  Since she began living in town, she was able to walk to church on most Sundays. Her house was just a block over and two blocks south of the church in which she grew up. Within a few weeks, she was playing and singing again. Ever so slowly, she was coming back to life. This particular Sunday, Chelsea was washing her hands in the ladies room when Lucy, Tuck’s daughter, came to stand next to her and wash her hands as well. Chelsea smiled down at Lucy. Her hair was strawberry-blond like her mother’s, and she wore it in braids most often. Once when Chelsea complimented her hair, Lucy told her that her daddy was great at braiding hair. The thought of the oversize farm boy braiding his daughter’s hair still gave Chelsea cause to smile. With Lucy standing there rinsing the suds off of her hands and grinning up at her, Chelsea realized, without question, their decision was the right one. She felt a warm sense of relief in knowing that.

  Since her return, Tuck was not shy in making conversation with her. Each Sunday he made it a point to find her and compliment her on whatever song she sang, even when she was merely a part of the larger praise team. They both knew they were being carefully observed by those around them. At first, it was quite awkward for them, as if living in a small town fishbowl. Not surprisingly, the questions began to surface if they would get back together. While Chelsea could see that Tuck was hopeful, her heart was far from able to even consider it. If anything, her heart was still so filled with hope that John would come for her, she refused to entertain the thought of allowing Tuck back into her life at all. It was because of this hope that she kept Tuck at arm’s length over the summer. As difficult as things were for them those years before, she would do nothing to give him false hope, and in doing so, hurt him.

  Her largest obstacle in avoiding Tuck had become Lucy. For some reason, Lucy was wild about Chelsea and wanted to be with her any chance she was given and seemed to be wherever Chelsea was at church each Sunday. Everywhere she looked, there was Lucy. If Chelsea was walking home from church, Lucy offered to walk with her. Many times Tuck would have to insist that Lucy get in the truck with him rather than to walk with Chelsea.

  Lucy stood on tippy toes, holding her hands under the cool water. Excited that Chelsea was there with her, she said, “I liked your song today.”

  “Thank you, Lucy. I really like the dress you’re wearing.”

  “My daddy picked this out for me.”

  Grinning, Chelsea asked, “So, your daddy is a good shopper?”

  Nodding enthusiastically, Lucy added, “He’s good at everything. He can shop and bake and play with dolls.”

  Chelsea was through washing and drying her hands, but she decided to wait for her little friend. “It sounds like you have the best daddy.”

  “I do.” Grimacing, she admitted, “I don’t really have a mommy.”

  Not expecting such a statement, Chelsea knelt before Lucy and said, “I’m very sorry about that. At least God gave you a good daddy to make up for it.”

  “And my Maw Maw. She’s good too.” Lucy reached out and touched Chelsea’s hair. It was pretty and thick and Lucy wished her hair was a normal color, not pink, as one girl at school called it. Chelsea was the prettiest girl Lucy had ever known, and she wanted to be just like her, especially the way she played the piano and sang.

  Chelsea could see that Lucy wanted to say something more but was hesitant. “Lucy, you have me as your friend. I know that may not make up for your mom, but it seems as if you have a whole lot of people who care about you.”

  Lucy bit at her lip and fidgeted with her fingers. Finally she asked, “Since I don’t have a mommy to watch me play, will you watch sometime? I love when you play, and I want to be just like you.”

  That was it! Lucy played piano. That was what so fascinated her. Why had she never mentioned it before? She wondered. As much as Lucy talked it should have come up. “Will I watch you play? Why, sure I will.”

  Next thing she knew she’d committed to go to Lucy’s upcoming recital. It would be held at her school the following week. Lucy took piano lessons from the same teacher that taught Chelsea as a girl. Based on their conversation, Chelsea would have never refused. So it was settled, Chelsea would be there six o’clock.

  When Chelsea walked into the elementary school, the same one she’d attended, she took a seat on one of the back rows. Proud parents filled the remaining seats in the gymnasium. An upright piano, likely the same one she took lessons on, was there on the makeshift stage. After sitting through a long line of students, finally Lucy’s turn came. Chelsea said a prayer for her, remembering how nerve-wracking it was when she first began playing. As Lucy walked up onto the stage, she spied Chelsea immediately. Excitedly, she waved at her, causing Tuck to turn to see who she was waving at.

  Seeing Chelsea sitting there in the crowd, Tuck was stunned and for a minute couldn’t catch his breath. He could hardly figure how it came to be that she would come to watch Lucy’s recital. Figuring Lucy had cornered her at church sometime or another, he would be sure to apologize after it was over. Turning his attention back to Lucy, he watched as she played her piece perfectly. She practiced hour after hour on the old piano of his mother’s. Finally he understood why Lucy kept insisting she had to do her very best at the recital. It was for Chelsea.

  After the last student played, parents were invited to stay for refreshments. Chelsea stayed long enough to compliment Lucy on her performance then tried to sneak out of the gym unnoticed. Lucy was an excellent pianist, and Chelsea was so proud of her. Her pauses were precise and her tempo perfect. Most children moved too quickly through their piece, clearly wanting the ordeal to be over. But not Lucy; she paced herself, as if savoring every moment of her time on stage. Chelsea remembered that feeling.

  Just as she left the school, she heard Lucy calling after her rather urgent
ly. Stopping at the end of the sidewalk, Chelsea allowed her to catch up.

  Out of breath from running through the hallways, Lucy panted, “I don’t want sugar cookies. We are going for ice cream. Will you go with us?”

  Tuck caught up just in time to hear Lucy’s invitation. “Sugar, I’m sure Chelsea has better things to do than go for ice cream.”

  “Are there any better things to do than go for ice cream?” Chelsea asked Lucy. Taking Lucy’s hand, she said, “Thank you for asking. There’s not much I like more than mint chocolate chip ice cream.”

  Tuck followed behind the girls, his heart fluttering in such an odd manner that he considered maybe he’d developed a heart murmur. It was something he’d never felt before. Even when he saw Chelsea in L.A. he was not as flustered as he was watching the two of them walk hand in hand down the sidewalk, chatting like two old friends. They discussed Lucy’s performance, and Chelsea seemed to be her biggest fan. It was not lost on him, that all along, Chelsea was supposed to be the mother to his little girl, never someone like Lindsey, a mother who would leave her baby before she even turned a year old.

  Just as his harsh judgment against Lindsey traveled through his mind, Tuck felt that familiar sense of guilt wash over him. He’d never loved her and she knew that. How could he expect her to stay with a man who clearly longed for his lost love? Though he tried to pretend as best he could, once Lucy came along anyway, his heart was hardly in it. Lindsey was the reason he lost Chelsea, and each and every day he hated her for it. What woman would want to stick around in a marriage like that?

  Inside the ice cream shop, the girls carried on talking, leaving him out of the conversation for the most part. When his mother arrived, she joined them and the three of them talked until Tuck’s ears hurt. He tried to think back in time, to decide if he’d ever felt as right in a moment as he felt then. Over the past few years, his one hope, even more so than that Chelsea would again be his someday, was that Chelsea could get to know Lucy and see that the path they chose was the right one. He longed for her to know that Lucy was the greatest gift imaginable and that the pain they both endured was for Lucy’s sake. When Chelsea looked at him over her ice cream cone, he could see that she got it. Her eyes when she talked with Lucy were tender and attentive. Chelsea saw in Lucy what he did. She was always worth their sacrifice.