Casting Shadows (The Ash Grove Chronicles)

by Amanda DeWees

  “But she’s only twenty-six weeks,” said Joy, confused. “Does that mean she has some kind of condition?”

  “It means that you’re not being straight with me, Miss Sumner.” Joy hated it when adults called her that; it seemed so much more condescending than just using her first name. “Either you’re not who you say you are—which means you stole or faked your ID—or you lied about the date of conception.”

  “I did no such thing. Things. The baby was conceived May first, and you can ask Dr. Patel to vouch for me when she comes in. She knows me.”

  Dr. Fowler sighed and gestured for the tech to remove the transcoder. “Look,” she said, more gently. “If you don’t want your boyfriend to know when the baby was conceived, that’s your business. Maybe you were seeing another guy and don’t want Mr. Lindsey to know. But don’t lie to your doctors.”

  “I’m not! The baby is Tanner’s.”

  “Then you’ve got the date of conception wrong.”

  “It’s the only possible date.” Joy struggled to sit up; she felt at a disadvantage lying there with goo on her belly. The doctor handed her a wipe to clean off the gel. “Look, as weird as it may seem, you have to trust me on this.”

  “Fine,” said Dr. Fowler, clearly disbelieving her. “We’ll set that aside for the moment. How have you been other than this supposed growth spurt? Have you had any fever, dizziness, blurred vision?”

  “No, nothing like that. In fact I’m feeling a lot better than I did for months. I’m finally past the morning sickness, and my ankles aren’t swollen any more. My back has stopped aching, too.”

  “Really? That’s the opposite of what usually happens. Any trouble breathing?”

  “No. I’ve actually been a lot more comfortable than I would have expected from reading all the pregnancy blogs. I have tons more energy than I thought I would. And it’s funny, because just a week ago—” She stopped abruptly.

  “What?” prompted the doctor.

  But Joy didn’t say what she was thinking, which was: before Samhain, she had been having a lot of those symptoms. But not since then. Not since Rose had been zapped full of magic life juice.

  “Never mind,” she said. “So nothing’s wrong with the baby?” she asked again.

  “No, nothing’s wrong with her,” said the doctor. Her unspoken thought was clearly The baby’s fine, but her mother’s a big fat liar.

  “Do you think she’s going to come early?” asked Joy. “I mean, from the ultrasound, when do you think I’m due?”

  “Any moment now,” said the doctor, wrapping a blood pressure cuff around Joy’s arm. “There’s a two-week margin for error in late-term sonograms, but you definitely need to pack a bag and get a birth plan in place if you haven’t already. You’ve been taking birthing classes, I hope?”

  “No.” Joy felt dazed at how fast things were happening. “I thought I had plenty of time.”

  Dr. Fowler shook her head as she read the gauge. “Time’s up, sugar.” She released the pressure and freed Joy’s arm from the cuff. “One-ten over eighty. If it wasn’t for the baby in your uterus, you’d hardly seem pregnant at all.”

  “Beginner’s luck?” suggested Joy, uncomfortable under the doctor’s gaze.

  The doctor folded her arms. “I don’t know what it is, but you’d better hope it lasts.”

  As Tanner drove them home, she filled him in on what had passed between her and the doctor. She was beginning to think that it might actually be a relief to have the Ash Grove council checking behind her medical team. The fact that all of the unpleasant side effects of her pregnancy had vanished was something she could no longer enjoy without questioning. Especially now that she realized they had all disappeared after Samhain. And if Rose really was already the size of a full-term baby, would she come three months early?

  Tanner took one hand off the steering wheel of Steven’s car and reached out for hers. “It’ll be okay,” he said. “So what if we don’t have as much time as we expected to get ready; we’ll manage.”

  She gnawed her lower lip. “I just can’t help being scared that she grew so fast. You remember what I looked like on Samhain night, Tan. I hardly even looked pregnant unless you were looking for it. To have her just balloon like this…”

  “With all the eyes that are on you and baby Rose, anything wrong will get caught right away.”

  “I know. You’re right. Besides,” she added, brightening as a comforting thought came to her, “I know she turns out just fine.”

  He nodded and released her hand to shift gears. Then, “What do you mean, turns out?” he asked.

  With so much going on, she hadn’t had a good opportunity to fill him in on everything that had happened over the summer. “I think I’d better wait til we’re parked to tell you,” she said. “It’s going to blow your mind a little.”

  When they arrived back at the house, Joy took him by the hand and led him back down the driveway, across the street, and then down a steep weedy rise to the riverbank. “I haven’t introduced you to our piece of the river yet,” she said. And it would give them the privacy she wanted.

  Trees spread high overhead, leaning over the river; in the spring, when they were in leaf again, they would cast shade over the bank. A scattering of huge lichen-covered rocks offered places to sit. The rush and chatter of the river filled their ears as it flowed over the great rocks in its path—so numerous, and so broad and flat, that a long-legged person like Tan could probably make it to the opposite bank without getting his feet wet. She knew from experience that she couldn’t. On the bank across from them, houses sat on stilts in case of flooding, and stone stairs led directly from each back yard down to the water. To the left, where the green expanse of the river was smooth and unbroken by rocks, a bridge spanned the water, and from time to time a car or truck would pass along it. Otherwise, they were the only people in sight.

  “This is one of my favorite places,” said Joy. “I used to come here to brood when I was younger.”

  “You found better brooding grounds?” asked Tan, helping her lower herself to sit on one of the flatter rocks at the edge of the bank.

  “Nah, I just didn’t get much chance to come here after I moved onto campus.” When he was settled cross-legged next to her, she reached for his hand. “This is going to sound weird,” she said, “but last summer I kind of, well, saw into the future. Just twice, and only for a couple of minutes each time.” Her stomach was oddly fluttery, and she paused to take a deep breath. “And I met a girl I later realized was Rose.”

  He took a few seconds to process that. “Our Rose, you mean.”

  “Yes.” When he said nothing, she continued. “She must have been around fifteen. She looked kind of like you, and kind of like me, and kind of like my mom.” She waited again for a reaction, and when none was forthcoming, she spoke to fill the silence. “She didn’t know who I was, and she didn’t do or say anything profound. But—”

  “But you saw her and talked to her.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And you figured out who she was.”

  “Afterward, yeah.”

  She was getting nervous about his lack of reaction, and he must have sensed that, because he picked up her hand and held it against his cheek. “You,” he said softly, “are an amazing woman.”

  “Me!”

  “You sure are. Stepping through time, meeting our unborn daughter, and being just as calm and collected as if it was nothing more than a trip to the store.”

  “Well, heavens, it’s not like it was anything momentous. She didn’t give me investment tips or instructions to avert a robot apocalypse or anything.”

  “But it was momentous for us.” He gazed out over the river, and she thought as she always did how noble he looked in profile, with his high forehead and strong straight nose. “I wish I’d been there,” he said.

  She made a rueful face. “I wish you had too. All summer, that was all I wanted, for you to be with me. And maybe that’s why I saw her,” she adde
d, struck by a new idea. “Maybe it was the force of me wanting you so much.”

  He squeezed her hand in acknowledgment. “I’m sorry you had to go through so much alone. Having to hide the baby from everyone. I hate that I wasn’t there for you.”

  “You’re here now,” she said firmly, to head off one of his self-reproachful moods. “That’s the important thing.”

  “Did she know who you were?”

  “No. I don’t think she had any idea.”

  He turned a perplexed face to her. “But why wouldn’t she? You’d recognize your mother if you saw her at fifteen.”

  “Well, yeah,” she said, taken aback. She hadn’t stopped to think before about what it meant that her own daughter hadn’t known who she was. “I’d recognize Mom from old photos. But I tend to avoid having my picture taken.” His silence sent a nagging finger of fear up her spine. “Do you think it’s that important? It doesn’t necessarily mean that…”

  She fell silent, and for a few moments there was only the sound of the river chattering over the rocks in its path. She knew he was thinking the same thing and didn’t want to say it. Rose might have grown up without her, just as she had grown up without her own mother.

  “We just have to be extra careful,” Tan said, resolutely. “Make sure we don’t take any chances. That you’re completely safe.”

  Make sure I don’t die, thought Joy. But it was too farfetched an idea to seem fully real to her, especially here and now, sitting on the riverbank on a sunny afternoon with her fiancé. Of course she wouldn’t die. There were countless other explanations.

  “What does your dad say?” Tan asked.

  “I never told him,” she said. “I mean, he and the council know I talked to someone from the future, but I didn’t tell them when I realized it was Rose. I… I wanted that to be just ours.”

  His eyes told her he understood. But then he asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to tell the council now, though? It might convince them to back off.”

  She shook her head. “You heard them today. They wouldn’t care that she seemed perfectly normal. They’d start quizzing me about whether she could have had demonic qualities that weren’t visible, and stuff. And then after they dragged every detail out of me they’d decide it wasn’t conclusive, and we’d end up just where we are now, with them trying to get in the middle of our business.” The idea of them subjecting every detail of those encounters to minute, relentless scrutiny made her shudder.

  “I suppose they would have a point,” he said slowly. “It might be that she was affected by the succubus in ways that you couldn’t see.”

  She stared at him. “Are you saying you don’t believe me?”

  “Not at all. Just that—well, deception kind of comes with the succubus package. I’d hate for us not to prepare ourselves for the possibility of something being wrong.”

  Pulling her hand out of his, she crossed her arms. “Tanner Lindsey, you do not mean that you think your daughter could be a succubus.”

  “Babe, we just don’t know. We can’t know, not until she’s born.”

  The words opened a cold void in her. She had been so sure he would trust her instincts.

  “I guess we’d better go back to the house,” she said dully. “Dad will wonder why the car’s there and we’re not.”

  She accepted his help to get back on her feet. They trudged silently through the dead leaves and weeds, the liquid rushing sound of the river receding gradually behind them, until they reached the paved road. “What do you want to tell him about the sonogram?” he asked after a time.

  “The truth, I guess,” she said glumly. “That she’s supernaturally big and mature, and may kill us all in our sleep someday.”

  He stopped short and took hold of her shoulders to turn her toward him. “Joy. You know I didn’t say that.”

  She refused to look at him, and presently she heard him take a breath and let it out. “You’re right,” he said. “I’m being negative. You’re the one who spotted that Melisande was a succubus, when I had to have you point it out to me. If anyone’s in a position to predict whether Rose is dangerous, it’s you.”

  She hugged him around the waist. “Thank you.” And as they crossed the road and started up the hill, she added, “And if she does kill us all in our sleep, you can blame me.”

  He smiled down at her with the look that she loved. “Deal,” he said.

  Joy had expected that after supper she and Tanner would have some alone time while her father was on campus doing research. So when she saw Tanner take out his new guitar and start tuning it, she did a double take.

  “Couldn’t that wait?” she asked.

  “Why?”

  “Well, it looks like we’re finally getting a little private time, and I just thought…”

  He pulled a doubtful face. “That’s really not in the spirit of your dad’s house rules.”

  “Did he say something to you? I noticed you two had your heads together after we got back from the sonogram.”

  “I was just filling him in on the ultrasound.” He patted the sofa, and she sat down beside him. “Don’t worry, I didn’t tell him anything that we decided should stay between us.”

  “Good.” She snuggled close to him and rested her chin on his shoulder. “But tomorrow morning, after I drop Dad off at school, there’ll be a little while before you have to get to work, won’t there?”

  “Babe, I… what does your doctor say? Is it even safe to fool around right now?”

  “Of course it is. Dr. Patel said it would be fine.”

  His face didn’t clear. “But you said the last time you saw her was before Samhain, before Rose got so big. Did you ask Dr. Fowler about it today?”

  “Well, no, it didn’t occur to me.” She was beginning to get a feeling of futility. She had never imagined she’d have to persuade Tanner to go to bed with her.

  “It just doesn’t feel right to me,” he said apologetically. “I don’t want to risk doing anything that might be bad for you and the baby.”

  “Oh.” She wished she’d thought of asking Dr. Fowler, but she’d been too upset by all her accusations. He was probably right to be cautious; just because Joy didn’t feel fragile didn’t mean she wasn’t. Tanner was just being protective of her and the baby. But still…

  “We could just, you know, make out some,” she said, painfully aware that she sounded about twelve.

  He gave her the smile that always made the world stop for her. “The trouble is,” he said, “I wouldn’t want to stop there.”

  “But we don’t have to. That’s the nice thing about me already being pregnant.”

  He was already shaking his head. “Honey, I’m sorry, but no.”

  Damn.

  Seeing how downcast she was, he picked up her hand and kissed it. “How about I sing to you? That should take your mind off romance. My singing sounds like a hyena wrestling a bagpipe.”

  He was lying, though. When he started Tom Waits’s “The Briar and the Rose,” she found that his singing voice was as sexy as the rest of him: like honey over sandpaper. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the tingle of longing on her lips and let the song lull her into contentment. She was with the guy she loved; they were safe; they would never be parted again. It should have been enough.

  Still, she couldn’t stop thinking about lunging at him, knocking the guitar aside, tearing open his shirt to run her hands over his sculpted abs and chest…

  Then, opening her eyes, she caught sight of her ungainly bulk. She wasn’t in any shape—literally—to jump his bones. She stifled a sigh. When there was a knock on the front door, she was grateful for the distraction, and even more pleased when Tanner answered the door to find that William was there.

  “This is a nice surprise,” she said, and started to haul herself off the sofa, but he waved her back.

  “I actually came to see Tanner,” he said, avoiding her eye. “I kind of need to talk to you in private, Tan, if that’s okay.”

&nbs
p; “Sure,” he said, readily enough, but Joy could tell he was as surprised as she was. “Come on down to the man cave. Want something to drink? We have—”

  “I could really use a beer.”

  Okay, this was officially odd. William had never been much of a drinker. “In the fridge,” said Joy, but she exchanged a baffled glance with Tanner before the two of them disappeared into the kitchen and then, after raiding the refrigerator, down the basement steps.

  Trying not to feel injured at being left out, she turned on the TV and found a channel playing one of her favorite old movies. But as the evening wore on she found her curiosity growing. What could William possibly need to talk to Tan about? They were still hardly better than acquaintances. Unless it was something to do with school or the band, and William needed an outsider’s perspective?

  Joy struggled with her better nature and lost. She heaved herself off the sofa and, as quietly as she could creep in her ungainly way, went to put her ear to the basement door. But all she could hear was their voices alternating, too low for her to understand the words, and the metallic clinking she was used to hearing when Tanner used the weight bench. Although his fitness regime wasn’t as strict now as when he was modeling, he still tried to keep in shape, and for selfish reasons she supported him wholeheartedly in this effort.

  Had William just come over to use the weight bench and wanted Tanner to spot him? But there was a full gym on campus, and William would surely have just come out and said so if that was all.

  She gave up and returned to All This, and Heaven Too, and wondered if she would become as neurotic as Barbara O’Neil’s character, who was going off her rocker because her husband, Charles Boyer, slept in a separate bedroom. The difference was that Charles Boyer had a deep spiritual connection with the governess, Bette Davis, whereas Joy knew Tanner’s affections weren’t engaged elsewhere.

  When he and William finally emerged from the basement, she realized that her first thought must have been right after all: William was pink-faced from a workout, and he and Tanner were intently discussing reps and weight increments and muscle fatigue. “I’ve been setting William up with a strength training program,” Tanner explained. To William he added, “The gym at Ash Grove has a lot more options, but you can stick with the free weights until you’re ready to tackle the machines.”