The Search for Soaring Hawk

by Terry O'Reilly

  Lean Bear slid his hands around the young man’s waist and caressed his butt.

  “Hmm,” he said. “How full and round you are. And even here, you are covered with fur.” He gently, but firmly, massaged the muscular globes. He pulled back and looked into the brave’s eyes. “I am called Lean Bear, but it is you who should be called by that name.” He smiled.

  Soaring Hawk put his arms around the man. As if by some signal, the flood of emotion broke the dam, and both men desperately sought each other’s lips, mashing them against their teeth. Soaring Hawk sought and gained entry to Lean Bear’s mouth, his tongue seeking its counterpart. Once found, the two members wrestled and danced as the passion between the two men rose. Soaring Hawk ran his hands over Lean Bear’s back and kneaded his firm butt, seeking the brown hole he had glimpsed earlier.

  Lean Bear broke the kiss. He looked at Soaring Hawk with shining eyes. He then slowly lowered himself to his knees, licking and kissing Soaring Hawk’s torso as he did. Once kneeling, he took the man’s swollen organ in his hand, and moved the foreskin back and forth over the glans. Soaring Hawk moaned in pleasure. Then Lean Bear took him into his mouth and slid his lips along the veined sides of the distended organ, until he buried his nose in the brave’s thick pubic bush. Soaring Hawk rocked back and forth as his organ moved in and out of Lean Bear’s mouth.

  Just as he was about to lose control, Lean Bear released him. Lean Bear rose, took him by the hands and led him, as he walked backwards, to the mat on which he had first offered himself to the brave. This time, however, he did not get onto his hands and knees. He lay on his back, pulling Soaring Hawk to his knees between his legs. He guided his inexperienced partner to his hole, and rubbed the tip of his hardness against it, smearing it with the clear, slippery fluid.

  “Now, Soaring Hawk,” he said, pressing against the organ that was about to invade his body.

  Soaring Hawk tightened the muscles of his butt and pushed against the offered entry. There was little resistance and the brave gasped as the head passed the ring of muscle surrounding the brown hole. He felt the soft, moist confines of Lean Bear’s body. The sensations made him light-headed. He continued to press forward, until his pubic hair contacted the flesh of his willing partner, just below his sac. He raised his eyes from the site of his union with Lean Bear and looked into those of the man so willingly offering himself. He felt Lean Bear contract and relax his rectal muscles around his shaft, encouraging Soaring Hawk to initiate his undulations. As he did, he leaned forward, bracing himself on his hands. Lean Bear wrapped his legs around his waist.

  At first, his strokes were long and slow. He pulled back until he almost withdrew from their union. Then he pushed back until he was as deep inside Lean Bear as was possible. Each time he did, Lean Bear moaned in pleasure. Soaring Hawk’s eyes locked with those of the man to whom he was joined.

  As his passion rose, his strokes became faster and shorter. He began to pant through his mouth, sweat dripping from his face. Lean Bear half closed his eyes, pleasure showing on his handsome face. He extended his tongue to catch the drops of sweat as they fell from his partner.

  Soaring Hawk felt his sac contract. His rhythm became erratic, and he grunted with each stroke. A tingling began at the base of his spine, his body convulsed, and his seed rushed up through his shaft and exploded into the confines of Lean Bear’s body. He groaned loudly as the volleys of semen continued to erupt and fill his partner.

  When he was spent, Soaring Hawk knelt, trembling, above his mate. Breathing heavily, he lowered himself, until he lay full out on top of Lean Bear. He felt himself slide from inside his partner’s body. Lean Bear wrapped his arms around the brave. They turned, so they were lying side by side. Soaring Hawk looked into Lean Bear’s eyes and kissed him.

  After a time, Soaring Hawk felt Lean Bear’s penis still hard against his abdomen. He felt his own phallus filling again. He reached up, brushing the damp hair from Lean Bear’s forehead. He pressed his lips to Lean Bear’s and rolled him onto his back without breaking the kiss. Raising his hips, he arranged his member, so it lay next to that of Lean Bear, who raised his hips to intensify the contact. A rhythm, punctuated with ardent kisses, brought both men to the brink of climax. Each time they would ease their movements to prolong the pleasure.

  Soaring Hawk rose up and began to kiss and lick Lean Bear’s neck and throat. Without hurry, he made his way down the man’s torso. He found and suckled each nipple in turn, causing Lean Bear to writhe beneath him. When he reached his navel, he swirled his tongue around the orifice and then probed its depths.

  Continuing to make his way toward his target, he took strands of Lean Bear’s soft fine pubic hair into his mouth and sucked on them. Finally, he took the man’s throbbing member in his hand. He took a long time to gaze at it as he slid the hood back and forth, exposing, then hiding, the head. He wanted to give Lean Bear the exquisite pleasure he had received and hoped his lack of experience would not deny the man his due.

  After some time, he tentatively reached out with his tongue and probed the puckered foreskin. Retracting the hood, he licked the sweet-tasting fluid as it emerged from the slit at the tip of Lean Bear’s manhood. He traced the crown of the glans and licked the sensitive groove on the underside. He slid his lips down each side, tracing the convoluted vessels and felt them pulse with the beating of Lean Bear’s heart, each new sensation reaching deep within his soul and attesting to the reality of who he was.

  Reaching underneath his partner, Soaring Hawk massaged his butt muscles as he took Lean Bear’s sac into his mouth and rolled the contents on his tongue. He was gratified Lean Bear responded to his ministrations with moans and groans of pleasure, his butt muscles contracting and relaxing.

  Then Soaring Hawk let Lean Bear’s shaft slip fully into his mouth. He bobbed his head as Lean Bear raised and lowered his hips, forcing himself deeply into Soaring Hawk’s throat. He began to whimper, and Soaring Hawk knew the man was close to spilling his seed. He backed off. Lean Bear raised his head, his eyes pleading with the brave to continue. Soaring Hawk, however, had other ideas.

  He crawled up beside Lean Bear and lay down, rolling on his back and pulling Lean Bear on top of him. He raised his legs, offering himself to the man.

  “It will hurt,” Lean Bear said, caressing the brave’s face.

  “That doesn’t matter. I want you to be one with me, as I was with you.”

  “You are sure?” he asked.

  Soaring Hawk nodded. Lean Bear rose and walked to the side of the lodge. He picked up a small pot and returned. Soaring Hawk watched his lover’s swollen phallus swing back and forth in time to his strides. He shivered with anticipation tinged with fear.

  “Roll over,” Lean Bear said.

  “But I want to see your face,” Soaring Hawk protested.

  “You will, but I must prepare you. You haven’t done this before. You need to be made ready. I don’t want you to have too much pain.”

  Soaring Hawk rolled onto his stomach, adjusting his erection. He felt Lean Bear kneel between his legs and spread the muscles of his butt. Lean Bear caressed and massaged the mounds of flesh. Soaring Hawk was shocked to feel Lean Bear’s tongue begin to lick and probe his hole. He shuddered in surprise and pleasure as his tongue pushed inside and licked the tender tissue. He moaned his pleasure. Following this, he felt Lean Bear rub the entry with a slippery substance, which he realized was from the pot the man had gone to retrieve.

  Slowly, gently, the brave felt Lean Bear’s finger enter his body. At first, he clenched his anal ring, resisting the invasion. But soon, with Lean Bear’s encouragement, he relaxed and allowed the man to penetrate deeply.

  Suddenly, an intense tingling shot through his body as Lean Bear touched something inside him.

  “Your pleasure spot,” Lean Bear whispered, as he continued to massage Soaring Hawk’s prostate.

  Soaring Hawk closed his eyes and immersed himself in the wonderful sensations. He let himself relax and felt Lea
n Bear further stretch and open him by inserting two, then three fingers into his rectum.

  Lean Bear squatted back on his haunches and rolled Soaring Hawk onto his back, raising his legs to his shoulders.

  “Are you sure?” he asked again.

  Soaring Hawk smiled. “Yes,” he said simply.

  Lean Bear wrapped one hand around Soaring Hawk’s thigh. The brave felt the tip of Lean Bear’s manhood against his hole.

  “Take a deep breath and push,” his mentor commanded.

  Soaring Hawk obeyed. He felt the pressure increase. At first, nothing seemed to happen. Lean Bear shifted on his knees and pushed harder. Then Soaring Hawk felt a sharp pain as the head of Lean Bear’s penis forced into him. He bit his lip and stifled a cry.

  Lean Bear nodded and smiled. He held still. Soaring Hawk relaxed and the pain lessened.

  “It’s all right,” he said.

  Lean Bear began to push again. Taking his time, he slipped farther and farther into Soaring Hawk. Finally, the fringe of pubic hair rested against his perineum. Once again, Lean Bear remained motionless, allowing Soaring Hawk to adjust to the invasion.

  Soaring Hawk felt uncomfortable and full, like he needed to move his bowels. He concentrated on the face of the man above him and tried to breathe evenly. In time, he relaxed further and began to enjoy the feeling of having Lean Bear inside him. He signaled Lean Bear that he was ready by contracting and relaxing his butt.

  Lean Bear picked up the rhythm and soon they were lost in the sensations and emotions of union. The feelings Soaring Hawk was experiencing became more and more enjoyable. The cadence increased. Soon Soaring Hawk felt the powerful thrusts and convulsions, which let him know Lean Bear had reached his peak. The man collapsed onto him. Soaring Hawk thrust himself up against the man’s abdomen and brought himself to his orgasm, spilling his seed against the walls of muscle that held his manhood captive.

  Lean Bear raised his head and whispered, “Thank you.”

  * * * Soaring Hawk woke. Lean Bear’s head was cradled on his arm as they lay spooned together. Soaring Hawk listened to the sleeping man’s breathing. He reached out and stroked his hair, letting his hand trail over his shoulder, down his arm and onto his chest. This was how it should be for them—two men living together and loving each other. He sighed deeply and let a feeling of contentment settle over him.

  Lean Bear stirred and took a deep breath, snuggling back against the brave. As Soaring Hawk continued to stroke the man, he spoke. “No one has ever let me take them before.”

  “What?” Soaring Hawk said in surprise.

  Lean Bear turned to face him, cuddling deep into the brave’s

  strong arms. “This was my first time, too…my first time to be inside a man, I mean.”

  “You mean you never…” Soaring Hawk was astonished.

  “No, never. It was wonderful.”

  “You are not really of two spirits, are you?” Soaring Hawk asked.

  “No, I am as you are, a man who desires other men. I am not a woman on the inside, and a man on the outside.”

  “Then why do you let the people think you are?” The admission confused Soaring Hawk.

  “What else is there to do? The people believe a man who desires other men must be a squaw inside a man’s body.”

  “But you could tell them that you’re fully a man,” Soaring Hawk said, his feelings of contentment fading.

  “They wouldn’t understand that,” Lean Bear said, a note of sadness in his voice. “Once they know you’re willing to be with a man, they only see you in one way: two spirits, a man to be used by other men in need.”

  Soaring Hawk remembered his insight into Rides the Wind. If even the wise shaman could not see that a man could be fully a man and desire other men, then surely the ordinary men and women of the tribe would not see it either.

  “What if we were to live together? We could show them that we’re not of two spirits, but men…braves…fully men.”

  Lean Bear took Soaring Hawk in his arms and kissed him. “Is that what you wish…that we live together?”

  “Yes.”

  Lean Bear drew the younger man to him and held him tightly. “I would be happy with that. But once the people know you desire men, you’d be expected to meet men’s needs.”

  “I wouldn’t do that,” said Soaring Hawk, pulling away and sitting up.

  Lean Bear sighed and said, “Then we cannot live together, not if you wish to keep secret your true desires.”

  “What are we to do then?” Soaring Hawk said, feeling his earlier happiness drain from him.

  “Come together when we can. Let people think you are using me when you’re in need.”

  “Hide who we really are? Pretend we don’t mean more than that to each other?”

  “It’s the only way you can escape my fate.”

  Soaring Hawk sighed deeply.

  Lean Bear kissed him and said, “Let us not waste the time we have together worrying over what cannot be.” He slid down Soaring Hawk’s body and took him into his mouth.

  * * * The days of summer passed and the time of the harvest moon approached. During that time, Soaring Hawk and Lean Bear were together as often as they could be without arousing suspicion. They were able to spend nights together occasionally. These were the times Soaring Hawk relished the most. These were the times he let himself believe they were living together, and enjoying the love growing between them without fear of discovery.

  However, as the days grew shorter and the morning air became chilled, several things occurred that made Soaring Hawk uneasy. Although his mother and father did not push him to decide when to marry Wind Flower, and indeed, even the maiden herself seemed to endure the wait with patience, her parents began to put pressure on him to fulfill his pledge and marry their daughter. Soaring Hawk knew once he married his excuse to see Lean Bear would be compromised. What young husband needed to visit the ikoueta when he had a new mate of his own in his lodge?

  Then there had been the day when he and his friends, Cunning Fox and Shining Otter were preparing the skins for the arrival, in a few weeks, of the white traders.

  “I saw you come out of Lean Bear’s lodge two days ago,” Shining Otter had said.

  “Yes, you seem to be spending a lot of time with him,”

  Cunning Fox had added. “If your need is so great, why have you

  not set the time for your marriage to Wind Flower?”

  “Yes,” Shining Otter had said, “Laughing Water and I are to be

  married when the harvest moon is full. You and Wind Flower

  could join us. I’d be honored to have you share our day.” Soaring Hawk had put him off saying he would consider it. Then Cunning Fox had spoken words that had chilled Soaring

  Hawk. “If you do not marry soon and you keep up your visits to

  Lean Bear, people will think you are two spirited as well.” The two friends had laughed at this, and although he had

  laughed along with them, it made Soaring Hawk wonder if they

  already were suspecting the truth about him and Lean Bear. It was shortly after this when the dreams started. In the dreams,

  Soaring Hawk was back at the place of his vision quest. He would

  be sitting at the base of the old oak, or standing just outside the

  circle. He could see the hawk in the circle. The bear stood just

  outside it. It appeared they were not aware he was there. They were

  arguing, but Soaring Hawk could not understand what they were saying. As the dream ended, the bear would shake his head in disgust, and the hawk would turn his back on him. The dream

  troubled him, though he did not know why.

  “I’m worried,” said Soaring Hawk to Lean Bear. They had just

  made love by the light of the fire in the pit of Lean Bear’s lodge.

  “It seems our secret may become known.”

  Soaring Hawk lay on his stomach. Lean Bear was stretched out

  beside him, res
ting on his elbow, tracing the muscles of the brave’s

  back with his finger. Occasionally he would lean down to kiss his

  shoulder.

  “We could solve this if you’d be willing to let it be known that

  you prefer men to women. We could be together then.” “And I’d be expected to be used by men in need. I could not do

  that.” Soaring Hawk rolled onto his side and looked into Lean

  Bear’s eyes.

  The man looked away. “I do that, I have all my life.” He looked

  back at the brave. “Do you look down on me for it?”

  “No.”

  Soaring Hawk reached out and ran his hand down the man’s

  cheek.

  “I know that’s what the people expect of men like us. It’s not

  your fault, but I don’t know that I could do it. And if I am to be

  chief someday…the chief surely could not be used that way.” He

  hesitated. “I have had a dream. In this dream I see my two spirit

  guides.”

  “Yes, the bear and the hawk. You’ve told me of them,” said

  Lean Bear.

  “They are arguing about something, but I did not know what it

  was. I think now I know.”

  “Can you tell me?” asked Lean Bear.

  Soaring Hawk hesitated again. “I think the bear is telling the

  hawk we should leave the village and live among the white men.” Lean Bear sat up. “What? Leave the village? Are you a crazy

  man? You’ve heard how the whites treat our people. How would

  we be better off among them?”

  Soaring Hawk sat up as well. “I just thought, since I look like a

  white man and can speak his language, we could live among them,

  and then we could be together.”

  Even as he said these words, Soaring Hawk thought of the

  things the book of the white man’s God said about men such as he.