Anonymous Desires_Isai and Ryker

by A. D. Herrick

A growing sense of unease gathered in my stomach. My breathing became labored. It wasn’t arousal spiking my blood pressure this time. It was unease tinged with fear. Clicking the red X at the corner of the screen I closed out the message bubble. I set my phone on the table as I slowed my breathing.

  I knew what the app was about. It wasn’t like I was going in blind. But I didn't expect such forwardness. Whatever happened to anonymity?

  The app wasn't a dating app. I knew and understood that. It was a social media platform designed to help like-minded people meet and communicate. Okay, so maybe it was a dating app. If dating was a thing in the world of kink. I honestly didn't know.

  I couldn’t understand why I was getting so freaked out. The guy probably just wanted to know what part of the world I lived in. Rationalizing his request helped qualm my fears. Instead of going back to his message I decided to leave it alone.

  Taking another healthy swallow of wine I picked the phone back up. Several more messages awaited me with dancing icons of various designs. Thankfully the new messages were from other users. Clicking through the messages I began to reply, the wine I had consumed gave me the courage to put myself out there, to interact with other users without freaking out.

  Most of the users appeared nice. We held casual conversations about mundane topics. But there was nothing about them that excited me. There was nothing in our conversations that made me think anything more could come of our interaction. I chatted with them out of basic social politeness.

  Then there were others I spoke to, men more assertive, dominating the conversation with their demands, reminding me of the first user that approached me. Those conversations fell flat. Just because I understood their roles, it didn’t mesh with the ideals and kink I had in mind for myself. I wanted more than they were offering. I needed more than words on a screen to get me going. I also refused to submit to a man that didn't take the time to engage me on more than sexual commands.

  I craved more. I wanted to find that missing piece. I wanted to meet someone that made the fire within me flare to life, blazing so bright it nearly burned.

  My phone pinged with a new message. A small mouse danced in the corner of the screen pulling a giggle from my lips. One could hardly find a mouse intimidating, especially one so adorable. Its tiny whiskers twitched with anticipation. Clicking on the chat bubble the message ballooned filling the screen.

  Anonymous 52654: Dom male, 28, 5 years’ experience. Single, looking for committed sub. Located in the Midtown area.

  Immediately I was intrigued. Of all the men I had talked to, the dancing mouse gave more insightful information than the others. Not to mention, we lived in the same general area.

  Straightening in my seat I nervously typed out my reply.

  Anonymous 86753: Sub female, 26, no experience. Single. Midtown area.

  I waited impatiently for a reply. Taking a pull of wine I watched the screen, hoping to receive a message back. I read his intro over and over. Committed sub. Committed to what? Him? In a committed relationship already?

  The questions zoomed through my mind at rapid speed as I tried to figure out what he was talking about. I should have asked. It would have been the simplest solution, but instead, I tortured myself as my mind conjured up a million different meanings to the statement.

  Anonymous 52654: Are you single?

  I felt my heart speed up in my chest as the message popped up on the screen. Giggling at my own stupidity I replied. The wine was doing its job, loosening my inhibitions, helping me to relax and enjoy the moment.

  Anonymous 86753: Yes.

  Immediately his reply filled the screen sending the butterflies in my stomach soaring.

  Anonymous 52654: What brings you here?

  I smirked as I typed feeling emboldened by the wine I had consumed and the mask of anonymity.

  Anonymous 86753: I would assume the same as everyone else here. Why else would I be on here?

  My body lit up with the excitement of talking back. I imagined the multitude of punishment that would be bestowed upon me, wondering which would be his favorite.

  Anonymous 52654: I’ll let that one go as we are only just beginning to chat. In the future, you will refrain from talking back or this conversation will be over.

  His threat dampened my earlier excitement, like a wet cloth being tossed over the smoldering fire that had begun in my lower abdomen.

  I pouted.

  It wasn’t a sexy pout either. It was a full-on arms folded across my chest, chin tucked under, lower lips protruding pout.

  My foot twitched with annoyance as I debated my next move. Part of me wanted to end the chat now, saving myself a potential headache. But the other part of me was intrigued by the man at the other end of the screen. There was something about him that drew me in as absurd as it sounded. We had only exchanged a few brief messages and already I was eager for more.

  Anonymous 86753: Yes, sir.

  Anonymous 52654: That’s much better.

  Anonymous 52654: What does a D/S relationship look like to you?

  The question stunned me. What does a D/S relationship look like to me? I didn’t know. Sure I’d had fantasies, but that was it. I never thought past the coupling.

  As I thought about the question I began to type, my fingers flying furiously over the screen.

  Anonymous 86753: To me, the relationship is a bonding of absolute trust. It’s a controlled dynamic in which I am able to surrender my body, my soul, my everything, to another within agreed upon bounds to someone I trust. To me, it means finding that one person that I trust above all else to see to my needs physically, mentally, and spiritually. In giving my trust over to another they are also giving me their trust. They are trusting me with just as much, if not more power.

  I exhaled soundly as I looked back over my message. I hadn't realized how passionate I was about the topic until I began to type. I had put a lot more thought into it than I realized.

  Anonymous 52654: Explain.

  His single worded answer annoyed me. I had already given so much of myself and yet here he was, asking for more.

  Anonymous 86753: While most assume the sub is giving up full control of his/her body the Dom is also giving up his/hers. The sub has the power to control the situation with one word, stealing away all power. The Dom has to trust the sub to communicate clearly and effectively ensuring a safe and consensual experience.

  A sat back proudly as I glanced over my explanation. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

  Anonymous 52654: What type of relationship are you looking for?

  I stared at the screen blinking.

  Anonymous 86753: What do you mean?

  I tipped back the bottle as I waited for his reply. I was sure to be drunk in no time at the rate I was going.

  Anonymous 52654: Are you looking for a more permanent arrangement or a one-time scene? Are you looking for a full-time arrangement or do you have limits? What exactly are you looking for?

  The little mouse must have been intrigued by my answer. In all the time we’ve been talking he had never once typed so many words.

  His questions got me thinking. I found that was something he was good at. He had a way of asking questions that made me pause and reflect before answering.

  Was I looking for a boyfriend? Was that something that was possible? Nursing the bottle of wine in my hand I contemplated the question. Sure, I could give a stereotypical answer, but I didn’t want to. Now that the questions had been posed I wanted to take the time to think about it. What did I want from this? What was it that I truly desired?

  Anonymous 86753: Ideally I would like it to be a monogamous committed relationship. I am not looking for a full-time submission dynamic. But playtime is not restricted to any certain day or time, merely aspects of my life. I think things have to naturally progress and be defined in the beginning.

  Anonymous 52654: You have never been in a D/S dynamic, how do you know you’ll enjoy it? This is real life. Not some book you picked up
at the library.

  His condescending tone was grating on my nerves. As badly as I wanted to snap back at him I remembered his earlier threat of ending the conversation.

  While I didn’t expect our relationship to blossom, I did enjoy his thought-provoking questions. I enjoyed that they made me think, forced me to look deep into myself and find out who I really was and what I truly wanted.

  Anonymous 86753: True, I’ve never been in a D/S relationship dynamic; however, I know my body. I know what I want and I’ve done my research.

  I wasn’t about to explain to him how I researched the topic. How I spent my nights alone in bed was my business. I didn’t know this guy like that. I wasn’t about to give away all of my secrets.

  He either accepted my response or felt he was pushing me to my limits, either way, he backed off and changed the topic.

  Anonymous 52654: What are your thoughts on punishment? Do you want a punishment dynamic?

  Just the thought had my blood pumping. Like a switch flipped, my irritation receded. In its place came a flood of arousal. I felt the heat spread across my chest as my breasts grew heavy. The thin cotton of my camisole pressed tight against my erect nipples.

  Anonymous 86753: Yes, I would want a punishment dynamic. I’m not opposed to being corrected for my mistakes.

  Heat rushed to my cheeks as I typed. I swung my feet up onto the cushions of the couch. Laying back against the throw pillows I made myself comfortable.

  Anonymous 52654: Do you know your hard limits?

  That was an easy one. I had gone through the list a million times in my head, weighing the pros and cons of each and how excited the made me. Slipping a free hand down the front of my sweats I stroked the dampened cotton of my panties as I typed one-handed.

  Anonymous 86753: Yes, nothing having to do with any type of excrement or water works, no age play, corsetry, enemas, gorean, mutilation, or animal play.

  Just the thought of acting like a kid, being pierced, or mutilated, or dealing with bodily fluids turned my stomach. I had thought long and hard about the corsetry but decided I would probably be too panicked by being laced up so tight it hurt to breathe, which was totally the opposite way I felt when thinking about breath play.

  Just the thought of someone's hand around my throat as they pounded into me left my panties soaked and wet.

  Anonymous 52654: I’m impressed; you’ve thoroughly thought this out. Tell me, what’s your fantasy? What scene screams the loudest in your mind?

  Feeling emboldened by the wine I had consumed, I told him. I told him every last detail as I worked my soaked panties to the side, slipping a finger between my slick Folds. I worked myself over as I imagine my fantasies being played out.

  We stayed up all night talking. We talked about all the things we enjoyed, our fantasies, our deepest desires. The more I spoke with him the more intrigued I became. I didn't know what he looked like, I didn't need to. I knew what made him tick. I knew his deepest darkest desires and they turned me on more than anything.

  It wasn’t until the sun began to rise, sending streams of sunlight through my window did I realize how truly tired I was. I had never stayed up so late getting to know someone. I've never spent the night going into great detail about all the secrets I held or all the desires that ran rampant through my mind. This was new, and I enjoyed it more than anything. I hated to see it end but as my eyes grew heavy I knew I needed to let him go.

  Anonymous 86753: It’s getting late. I have to get some sleep or I’ll be worthless today.

  I smiled as I typed into the phone.

  Anonymous 52654: I want to see you today.

  I felt my heart skip a beat. He wanted to see me?

  Anonymous 86753: Why?

  I didn’t even think as I typed in my reply.

  Anonymous 52654: It’s Valentine’s Day. I was hoping you would be my valentine.

  A small smile tugged at my lips.

  Anonymous 86753: What did you have in mind?

  Anonymous 52654: How about we have a nice quiet dinner and go from there? No expectations.

  Excited at the prospect and intrigued by the man that kept me up all night I agreed. We made plans to meet up later that night at a local restaurant for dinner. The fact that there were zero expectations left a sour aftertaste after all we had shared. But it was a step forward and that was all that mattered.

  Chapter 3

  I woke with a start. Panic had set my heart into overdrive. Glancing down at the clock on the bedside table relief flooded me. I relaxed into the pillowy cushion of the mattress, as my heart rate return to normal. It wasn't as late as I thought. I was worried I had missed my date tonight. It was my first date and I hope for it to be the first of many.

  The setting sun cast the room in a soft glow. I couldn’t believe I had slept the day away. Considering the fact I had spent the entire night chatting with a stranger I relieved myself of any guilt at wasting the day away sleeping.

  With three hours to get ready, I rose from bed with the intent to get my apartment presentable. I didn’t know what the night would hold. The dancing mouse had said there were no expectations, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t have any.

  I was tired of being alone. I was tired of going to bed with my trusty vibrator and filthy porn playing on the screen of my phone.

  I didn’t want to watch my fantasies played out on the tiny screen. I wanted to live them. I wanted to experience the bite of leather as a flogger cracked down on my pale delicate skin. I wanted to feel the blood rush to my head as a large meaty paw clamped down on my throat. I wanted to feel the head of a cock rammed so deeply down my throat that I didn’t know whether I would pass out or choke on my own saliva. Need and desire coursed through my veins.

  Music played loudly through the Bluetooth speakers as I cleaned the small apartment. With my laundry washed and folded and the apartment polished to a shine, I turned my attention to myself.

  Taking a long shower I took the time to shave every inch of my body, twice. With my hair washed and conditioned, I stepped out of the shower.

  I lathered my body in lotion, paying special attention to my most sensitive bits. With my hair wrapped in a towel, it was time to face the toughest decision of the night, what to wear.

  The restaurant he had chosen was casual. Being Valentine’s Day I only hoped he had the forethought to make reservations.

  The weather was still cool out. The bitter winter chill still filled the night. With my clothing choices limited, I opted for a long-sleeved long black dress with thick white blocked stripes running horizontally across the skirt.

  The thin black material formed like a second skin to my bodice while the skirt flared out giving me room to move. The dress was hot, there was no denying it. The long clean lines gave the illusion of height that I didn’t naturally possess. At my measly five foot stature, I needed all the help I could get.

  The rounded neckline held just a hint of cleavage, just enough to be sexy but not so much to be off-putting. Paired with a pair of black heels and feather pendant necklace with matching earrings, the look was sexy yet casual, without trying too hard.

  I ran my fingers through my hair allowing the long loose waves to dry naturally. With a hint of makeup, I gave myself a once-over. I couldn’t believe my own eyes. It had been so long since I had dressed up. I had almost forgotten how good I could actually look outside of work attire and sweats.

  Glancing at the clock I realized I was running short on time. I grabbed my clutch and filled it with the necessities before heading to the restaurant.

  By the mercy of the gods, traffic had been light, making the drive to the restaurant short. I was filled with relief at being on time while anxiety crept up my spine at the reality of the situation.

  The valet lightly tapped on the window, reminding me that he was there waiting. Taking a long deep breath I gathered my courage to exit the vehicle.

  With my head held high, I entered the restaurant. The scent of Garlic and fresh
ly baked bread assaulted my nostrils combined with the sweet smell of tomatoes and tangy cheese. My stomach growled on instinct. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I walked in the door.

  The young hostess behind the podium greeted me with a wide welcoming smile that reached her cornflower blue eyes. Her light blonde hair was pulled back into a tight bun I was sure gave her migraines. Her body language was open making me feel instantly at ease.

  “Welcome to Georgios, do you have a reservation?” My heart rate picked up as the organ beat through my chest.

  “Anonymous,” I replied giving her the name the reservation was under. The word came out strangled, breaking at the end.

  With a comforting smile, she gave me a wink. “It’s okay to be nervous. I’m always going on blind dates, sometimes they end up surprising you in all the best ways.” She winked giving me a reassuring smile. “Right this way, follow me.” Taking comfort in her reassuring words I followed behind her, taking the time to prepare myself to meet my date for the evening.

  As we rounded the corner my steps faltered. Deep blue eyes peered up from behind the wine menu at the table the hostess guided me to. As his eyes met mine a look of recognition flashed across his face, disappearing just as fast.

  My heart lurched into my throat. This had to be a mistake.

  Chapter Four

  My first instinct at seeing him waiting for me at the table was to flee. I was about to turn tail and run until his deep commanding voice demanded I sit. As though a switch had been flipped, my panties were soaked through. The thrill of obedience coursed through me, commanding my body to obey.

  As dinner progressed I found myself leaning in toward him. My body drifting closer and closer. It wasn’t until he asked if I wanted to come back to his place did reality sink in.

  I knew my life would never be the same again no matter what I answered. If I agreed I knew I would be given the most mind-blowing night I ever imagined. If I denied the invite I knew I would spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened.

  With a shuddering breath, I closed my eyes and took a leap of faith.