Cemetery Tours

by Smith, Jacqueline

  “Gavin.”

  “Tell me, Kate, what is the last thing that you remember?” Kate thought about it.

  “I was getting my books from the school bookstore. A lot of them weren’t in, so I had to order them online,” she answered hesitantly. Terri began to sob all over again.

  “Mrs. Avery, perhaps you should wait outside while I talk to your daughter,” Dr. Singh suggested. Gavin knew his mother didn’t want to leave Kate, but she cooperated and left the room.

  “Gavin,” Rex said. “Go with her.”

  Together, Gavin and his mother watched through the window on the door while Dr. Singh sat on the edge of Kate’s bed and talked to her. Rex stood at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, listening intently to what the doctor was saying.

  About ten minutes later, Rex joined Terri and Gavin outside Kate’s room.

  “The doctor’s still with her,” he explained needlessly.

  “What did he say?” Terri asked.

  “He thinks Kate has some retrograde amnesia... estimates she lost about twenty seven months. He says it’s fairly common after her kind of injury. But he doesn’t know whether she’ll ever get those memories back.”

  “Oh, my baby,” Terri moaned.

  “How is she taking it?” Gavin asked.

  “Better than your mother,” Rex answered matter-of-factly as the door to Kate’s room swung open and Dr. Singh appeared.

  “You can go back in now. I’m going to order some follow-up tests for the next few days, but for now, I think it would be best for you to spend time with her and talk to her about what’s happened. She’s going to have a lot of questions.”

  “Wait a minute,” Terri grasped her son and husband as the doctor disappeared down the hall. “I think we need to talk about this.”

  “About what?” Gavin asked.

  After a long pause, Terri answered, “I don’t think we should tell her about Trevor.”

  “What?” Gavin asked.

  “Ter, we have to - ”

  “Why?” Terri cut Rex off. “Why do we have to tell her? If she lost that much memory, then she probably doesn’t remember him. Why should we tell her something that’s only going to upset her? That might even hinder her recovery?”

  “Because she loved him,” Gavin said.

  “How could she love someone she doesn’t even remember?”

  “How can we keep someone who was such a huge part of her life a secret?” Gavin countered. With all the various online social networks, it seemed a near impossible task to permanently erase a person from someone else’s life. Wouldn’t she see all the pictures that were tagged of them? And what about her friends? How would they react? Knowing that group of gossip mongers she’d met in college, someone was bound to say something to her.

  “Destroy the evidence. Talk to her friends. Email them. Do whatever you have to do. Say that because of the trauma that she experienced, her doctor thought it would be for the best not to remind her of everything she lost. Just make sure they know that as far as Kate is concerned, there is no such person as Trevor Hanson.”

  ~*~

  For the next few days, Gavin scoured Kate’s apartment for pictures of her and Trevor. He searched every nook and cranny, collected every photograph he could find, and stored them all in a large black photo album, which he stuffed in a suitcase and stashed at his apartment. Then, he took every item that could possibly remind her of Trevor; the souvenir double decker bus that he’d bought for her in London, the Tiffany heart necklace that he’d given her for Valentine’s day, her collection of ticket stubs of all the movies they’d seen together. The doctors had removed her engagement ring some time in the midst of her surgery and had since returned it to her parents.

  Then, he was faced with the ridiculous feat of getting rid of all traces of Trevor from her computer. That included pictures, emails, and her Facebook account. That proved to be the most difficult. Hacking into her page was easy enough. She’d had the same password for everything (HouseMD203) since she was seventeen. The hard part was seeing all the messages people had left not only on her wall, but on Trevor’s.

  It was horrible, reading post after post, expressions of shock, sympathy, and utter sorrow that had been left for the world to see on Trevor’s page. Gavin knew he shouldn’t be reading them, particularly the more personal ones, but for some reason, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. It was like some strange form of self-punishment.

  Finally, after he’d gone through every message, he began the process of deleting Trevor from his sister’s life.

  ~*~

  It turned out that Facebook posts and photos weren’t the only thing that needed to go, at least as far as his mother was concerned. The family had gone out of their way to tell Kate that she had been driving her car when she’d had the accident. Of course in actuality, it had been Trevor’s Corolla, not Kate’s old Jeep, that had been totaled. But Kate wasn’t supposed to know that. So one day after work, Trevor went with his father to sell his sister’s beloved vehicle. Instead of buying a new one on the spot, however, they decided to wait and let her decide which car she wanted next.

  The final step in their attempt to shield Kate from anything that might pose a negative effect on her recovery was for Terri and Rex to call off their divorce. Gavin had mixed feelings about his parents’ decision. Although he hadn’t wanted to see his parents end their marriage, he knew how unhappy they’d been, especially in the months leading up to the filing. Part of him was afraid that their trying to stay together might create unnecessary tension that would be harder on Kate than learning that they had planned to divorce. But then, both Terri and Rex seemed dedicated and determined to put their personal issues aside to create the best possible environment for Kate. Maybe, just maybe, something good would come from these last few weeks of hell after all.

  Unfortunately, not everybody was convinced that the Averys truly had Kate’s best interests at heart. Trevor’s family in particular. The Hansons had loved Kate like a daughter, and to be told that they wouldn’t be able to see or speak with her had hurt them terribly. They argued extensively with the Averys, saying that Kate deserved to know about the man she loved, that they needed to have that connection with their son, but Terri wouldn’t budge on the issue. She even threatened legal action should the Hansons attempt to contact Kate without their consent. Finally, Ted and Arlene left, tearful and defeated.

  A lot of Trevor and Kate’s friends were angry too. It was bad enough that they’d lost Trevor. Now, unless they wanted to be cut off from Kate, they had to act like their friend had never existed. Several of Kate’s older friends understood and agreed that it was for the best, but some expressed concern about not being able to keep Trevor a secret. A few of them also said that they would feel guilty keeping something so substantial from her. In the end, however, they all committed to the lie. They didn’t really have another option.

  ~*~

  Over the next couple of weeks, Rex, Terri, and Gavin took the baby steps in reintroducing Kate to her old life. They brought in Valerie, the interior decorator who had hired Kate right after she’d graduated from SMU. If Kate not being able to remember her was difficult for Valerie, she didn’t let it show. Instead, she walked into Kate’s room with a bright, cheerful smile and announced, “Hi, Kate, I’m Valerie. How are you feeling, Sweetheart?”

  “A lot better than I have been,” Kate replied.

  “I’m glad to hear that. We’ve missed you at work.”

  “I’m sorry that I haven’t been there,” Kate answered diplomatically. Gavin and their parents had filled her in on her job with Val.

  “You have got nothing to be sorry for. I’m just glad that you’re going to be alright.”

  After a brief visit, Valerie told Kate that her job was still waiting for her if she wanted it. Kate thanked her and accepted, but Gavin thought there was something off about her response.

  While Rex and Terri escorted Valerie out, Gavin took a seat on the edge of Kate’s bed.


  “Everything okay?” he asked her.

  “Mm-hmm,” she nodded. “Why?”

  “You just seem a little distracted.”

  “I guess I’m just tired,” she shrugged.

  “Are you happy to have your job back?”

  “I don’t really have it back,” she reminded him. “I mean, I guess I technically do. But I might as well be starting a new job.”

  “Val will help you out. I know you don’t remember her, but she is a really great person. And she loves the hell out of you.” It was true. After Kate first started working for her, she and Val had become fast friends.

  “Okay,” Kate replied, still looking despondent.

  “You sure you’re okay?” Gavin asked. Kate took a deep breath and bit her lip. Gavin suddenly realized she was trying not to cry.

  “I don’t know what this is,” she finally admitted and held up her pale blue blanket.

  “Your blanket?”

  “No, I know it’s a blanket. But I don’t know what color it is.” Gavin was confused. The blanket was obviously blue. Had the accident somehow impaired her vision?

  “It’s blue,” Gavin told her. Kate blinked and two tears ran down her cheeks.

  “I don’t know what that means,” she said. Now Gavin was alarmed. Trying not to panic, he grabbed a get-well bouquet of pink stargazer lilies off her window sill and held them up.

  “Do you know what color these are?” Kate shook her head. Gavin didn’t know what to do. Should he call a doctor? Track down their parents? “Do you think - are you colorblind?”

  “No, I can see the color. I know that it’s the same color as a Valentine heart. But I - I don’t know what it’s called.”

  “Do you know what any of the colors are?” Kate trembled and shook her head. “Is this a new thing? When did you notice it?”

  “I don’t know. I had so much going on inside my head that I didn’t really think about it. Then, when you guys told me about the decorating job... I don’t know. I looked around the room and realized that I didn’t know what anything was called. I tried to shake it off, thought maybe I was just tired and that if I slept, it would get better...” Kate explained. “And Valerie was so nice to me, offering me my job back. How am I supposed to do that job?”

  “You’ll figure something out. The doctors told you it would take some time, right? You’re going to have to relearn some stuff. Maybe this is just part of it.” Kate didn’t look so sure.

  “Why did this have to happen?” she asked, resting her head back so that she was staring at the ceiling. Gavin didn’t want to answer that.

  “I don’t know,” he finally replied, hoping she wouldn’t detect the raw guilt in his voice. “But I swear to you, everything will be okay. I know everything seems like a nuisance right now, but Kate, you have no idea how lucky you are just to be alive.” Although he’d intended his words to be comforting, something in his tone betrayed him and he found himself locked under Kate’s curious gaze.

  “I was the only one, right? I mean, you’d tell me if someone else was hurt, wouldn’t you?” Gavin looked his sister square in the eye.

  “I promise, you were the only one. No one else was hurt.”

  Kate seemed to relax a little after that. Gavin was relieved. He realized then that his mother had been right. Kate was struggling with her new life enough as it was. If she’d found out about Trevor, about how much she’d really lost in that crash, it would have been more than she could handle.

  Gavin remembered that day specifically, not only because of the conversation he’d had with Kate, but because it was the first time he came home to discover that the temperature inside his apartment had inexplicably dropped about twenty degrees.

  Chapter 24

  Present Day

  Kate had managed to remain calm, even neutral, as Gavin recounted to her the details surrounding the accident. Maybe it was the overwhelming abundance of new information, or maybe it was her brain still trying to protect her, but for whatever reason, the story had left her feeling numb, like she was listening to a plot that characters would act out on television. It didn’t resonate with her that what Gavin described had actually happened.

  “So when Mom and Dad said they didn’t want me thinking about Trevor, they weren’t afraid it would impair my recovery. They were afraid it would advance it, that I was starting to remember him.”

  “Yeah.” Gavin didn’t try to deny it. Kate was stunned. Not that her parents would go to extremes to try to protect her. She supposed every parent would. But to go so far as to try to hinder her recovery? That just seemed so... wrong.

  “So what’s in the photo album?” she asked.

  “Everything,” Gavin replied as he handed it to her. Kate was surprised by how heavy it was.

  With a deep breath, she set the book on her lap and pulled back the front cover. Inside, she found images of herself smiling, with her arms around the same tall, dark-haired man in the picture that Gavin had given her earlier. One picture showed her dancing with him in the middle of a crowded room. In another, they kayaked across a lake. In one, he gave her a piggy-back ride on the beach. In another, she kissed him on the cheek. Kate was struck, not only by the massive accumulation of moments that she couldn’t remember, but by how incredibly happy she appeared to be. Still, there was something bothering her.

  “What was he really like?”

  “What do you mean?” Gavin asked.

  “I mean, the way you talk about him and the way he looks in these pictures, he seems like this wonderful, amazing guy. But he’s been draining you for months. He made you sick. He threw you into a wall! What kind of person does that?” Kate realized that Trevor was probably listening in, but she didn’t care. She was angry at him. He’d made Gavin’s life, and her life for that matter, an absolute hell for the past five months. And that she couldn’t forget.

  “He says there’s no excuse for everything he did, and that if he could take it all back, he would,” Michael spoke on Trevor’s behalf. “He just needed you to know who he was. He couldn’t move on without you knowing how much you meant to him.”

  “Kate, he loved you more than anything,” Gavin told her. “We should never have tried to keep him a secret from you. You know, to be honest, I can’t really blame him for wanting to punch my lights out.” Kate still wasn’t entirely convinced.

  “He says he wants to talk to you,” Michael told her. She glanced up at him. As usual, his dark eyes were a source of reassurance and comfort. This time, however, she could swear she also detected the slightest hint of regret. Kate was ashamed. She’d been so caught up in Gavin’s revelation that she hadn’t considered how Michael might be feeling.

  “Michael, I can’t ask you to - ”

  “Kate, it’s okay,” he assured her. “I think you both need this.” Kate looked at her brother. He just nodded. She could tell his pain was beginning to get to him. He needed to take his medicine, but she was fairly certain that wouldn’t happen until everything was resolved. Finally, she relented.

  “Where is he?”

  “He’s been sitting next to you this whole time,” Michael said.

  His answer sent chills racing across Kate’s entire body. She turned to face the empty air to her left. She strained her eyes for a glimpse of the man in the pictures, but he never appeared. Just then, a strange sensation, like a cool winter’s breeze grazed the fingers on her left hand. She couldn’t be sure, but she got the feeling that Trevor had just reached for her. Blinking back tears, she looked into thin air and whispered, “Hi.”

  ~*~

  Michael felt a sick, sinking knot in his stomach as Trevor reached over and took Kate’s hand, but he tried not to let it show. After all, they were the victims here. They were the ones whose lives had been torn apart. Not him. Though self-pity would have been an exceptionally easy route to take at that point.

  No. For once, he wasn’t going to think about how hard or uncomfortable the situation was for him. Kate and Trevor both h
ad lost something precious, something irreplaceable. As had every ghost who had ever contacted him. Up until that point, Michael had only ever thought about how he felt. For someone who was supposed to be so “in tune” with other people’s spirits, he had a pretty selfish disposition.

  “I miss you,” Trevor was saying to Kate as he reached out and tried to touch her hand. Michael took a deep breath and hoped he wouldn’t live to regret what he was about to do.

  “He says he misses you,” he translated.

  “I’m sorry,” Kate said. “I’m so sorry about everything that happened.”

  “No, Baby, no. It’s not your fault,” Trevor reached up and touched her cheek. Kate shivered and pulled away. Michael repeated what he had said to Kate. “I know this is going to be the last time I talk to you until... whatever’s next. And I’m not sure what I say is going to mean all that much to you. But I just couldn’t leave without you knowing that loving you, being with you, was the best thing that ever happened to me, and that I wouldn’t trade my time with you for anything. I love you so much, Kate.” He paused for Michael to translate. As he spoke, Kate dried the tears pooling in her eyes with the back of her hand. “I know this is a lot to take in, but I hope you can forgive me for being such a jerk these last few months.”

  “I do,” Kate whispered. Finally, for the first time since Michael had known him, Trevor smiled. Then, he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Kate’s lips. Michael averted his eyes and tried to remind himself that none of what had happened or what was going to happen had anything to do with him.

  Remember, this is for Kate.

  “Whatever happens next, I’ll be with you,” Trevor promised her. “I love you, Kate.” Michael relayed his message. And then, just like that, Trevor was gone. The atmosphere inside the room suddenly seemed very still and empty. Kate sensed it too.

  “Did he go?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” Michael answered. He could tell by the look on Kate’s face that she wasn’t sure how she felt.

  “Will he be back?” Gavin asked.