The Back Road

by Abbott, Rachel

  ‘You okay, Ellie?’

  Ellie glanced behind her as Maria, one of the young nurses new to the ICU caught up with her.

  ‘Not really,’ she responded. ‘Abbie looks such a sweet kid, and I thought there were signs of improvement, but I guess I was wrong.’ Ellie gave a despondent shrug.

  ‘Well, there’s something to cheer you up then.’ Maria nodded her head towards the car park, and Ellie followed her gaze. A tight knot of panic formed in her throat, but Maria didn’t notice her reaction.

  ‘He’s a bit tasty, isn’t he? I love the sexy hat. Is he waiting for you?’ Maria’s eyes were open wide as she looked at the figure leaning against Ellie’s car, dressed in dark jeans and a navy-blue T-shirt, sporting a leather bush hat.

  Ellie forced her voice into indifference.

  ‘He’s a friend of Max’s. I’ve no idea what he’s doing here, but I guess I’m about to find out. See you tomorrow, Maria.’

  Ellie walked towards the car, but could feel that Maria’s eyes were on her. She tried to be as nonchalant as possible, her smiling face belying her first words.

  ‘What are you doing here? Are you completely mad?’ she hissed.

  ‘I wanted to see you. You refuse to come to me, so I’ve come to you. Let’s get in the car, shall we?’

  ‘No!’ Ellie realised that she had raised her voice, and Maria was still watching. She was out of earshot, but Ellie had to keep her face calm and her voice down.

  ‘No,’ she repeated. ‘We are not getting in the car. What do you want?’

  He smiled.

  ‘Ellie, darling, if you don’t get in the car with me, your friend over there is going to wonder if there’s a problem. She might come over and ask. Do you want her to wonder?’

  Knowing he was right, and hating him even more for it, she clicked the remote. He held his hand out.

  ‘Keys, please. Don’t look at me like that. If you get in the car first, you’ll drive off while I’m walking round to the passenger door. Give me the keys, darling.’

  Ellie wanted to look around her, to see if anybody was watching. Don’t call me darling was the thought echoing round her head. But if she opened her mouth, she would scream.

  He opened the driver’s door for her, as if he were being polite, and sauntered round to the passenger side. As he sat down, he handed her the keys.

  ‘I suggest you drive somewhere, Ellie. Otherwise you are drawing attention to yourself, and you keep telling me that it’s not what you want.’

  ‘Please, can we stop this? I’ve told you so many times that what happened was a foolish mistake. I love Max. I’m sorry if I hurt you, but that was never my intention.’

  He shook his head.

  ‘It was no mistake, darling. You wanted me. I could tell. Every inch of you was craving for me, as I was craving for you. We just need to decide what we’re going to do about it. Take me for a drive, Ellie. Let’s talk sensibly.’

  With shaking hands, Ellie put the keys into the ignition and turned the engine on.

  ‘We can drive, but I’m not going to stop the car. We can drive round and talk - but only talk. Do you understand?’

  ‘We’ll see,’ he responded with a smile.

  Ellie knew that he didn’t believe her. He thought she was just scared of the upset it would cause if she left Max for him, and she had failed abysmally to persuade him otherwise. The last time she had agreed to meet him - the night of the fateful accident - she had begged, pleaded, shouted, cried. In the end, he had pulled her into his arms and tried to soothe her. For a moment, it had felt good. She was too weak with emotion to resist, and it felt as if he were comforting her. Until he kissed her. She had come back to earth with a crash and screamed at him to get out of her car. She never wanted to see him again. She had thought she’d convinced him - but she was wrong.

  Now she drove without speaking. She needed to get away from the hospital; away from where anybody who knew her might see her. But which was worse? If she went down some of the lanes and found a lay-by and they were seen there, that would be far worse than being seen in a public place - something that she could explain away if she had to.

  Ellie swung left into the supermarket car park, and drove to the most crowded area, pulling in beside a white van and a car she didn’t recognise. At least they would be shielded from view from one side.

  ‘What have you stopped here for? I need to be able to touch you, Ellie. I want to hold you. Remember what I said about your skin? I want to taste it again.’

  He moved his hand across the car, and started to stroke her thigh. She closed her eyes to disguise her repugnance at his touch, but he immediately misread her signals.

  ‘I know you want me to touch you. I want to take you somewhere and slowly remove your clothes, piece by piece. I want to feel your silky soft skin next to mine, and I want to take hours just loving you. I’ll be so gentle with you, Ellie. I want your legs wrapped around me, holding me inside you. We need to do this, darling.’

  This was all her fault. He had made it plain how he felt about her, and if she hadn’t been feeling so vulnerable and unloved that day, certain that Max was betraying her, she would never have let it happen. She’d stopped just in time. But of course now he wanted to finish what they had started.

  How could she make him go away? Leave her alone? She had to think very carefully about what to say. She turned to look at him, trying to ignore the gleam of desire in his eyes.

  ‘I’m sorry. I really am terribly sorry. I know this is all my fault. But that day… It was a mistake. A stupid, cruel mistake. I thought Max was having an affair, and I was overwhelmed with hurt. Don’t look at me like that - I know that I’m probably right about Max, but even so it doesn’t excuse my behaviour. He’d lied to me. He said he was with Pat, but he wasn’t. I knew he was with her. I was so vulnerable, and you made me feel attractive and exciting. For one wild moment I thought that if I could be unfaithful too, it would make it easier to forgive Max. It was such a ridiculous idea.’

  ‘It wasn’t ridiculous at all,’ he said, gently kneading her thigh. She wanted him to stop, but there was a wildness to his eyes, and she was no longer sure of his reactions. ‘Men only lie about where they are if they’re somewhere they’re not supposed to be. It’s all true, Ellie. I’ve seen them together in the pub. In theory, they’re with all the other teachers from the school, but in reality they’re always together - talking quietly to each other. Excluding everybody else. I don’t want to hurt you, but you need to believe me.’

  ‘Even so, two wrongs don’t make a right. I used you, and I am ashamed of that. All I can do is say that I’m sorry. But this business of following me has to stop. And no more roses. Please. I know you don’t mean to, but you’re scaring me.’

  He reached out, as if he was going to touch her face. Ellie instinctively jerked her head away, and he dropped his hand back to her thigh. It made her shudder, but she couldn’t push him too far.

  ‘But the roses are symbolic for us, aren’t they. Don’t you remember?

  How could she forget? Why did she ever tell him that her favourite yellow roses were being planted that day? He seemed to believe there was some romantic link between the roses and what had happened between them. It was all in his mind.

  ‘There’s nothing to remember. Two events, not in any way connected.’

  As she spoke, Ellie could see him shaking his head slowly from side to side.

  ‘You’re lying to yourself, darling. Look, Max is having an affair. He’s probably going to leave you. How much evidence do you need? You know he’s been lying to you. So why wait for him? Why not be the one to take control, and tell him that you’ve found somebody that loves you and wants you, and will never let you down. We belong together, Ellie. Whatever the obstacles.’

  Ellie closed her eyes. She didn’t want to cry, but she was lost.

  ‘I can’t do this. Please, leave me alone. Look - I’ve just left the hospital where there is a young girl, knocked down and
left for dead, who may never recover from her injuries. That’s a tragedy. Whatever happened to her, she didn’t deserve this. We are adults. We have choices, and we should make those that cause the least hurt. And I need you to go.’

  She looked at him, and the desire in his eyes had been replaced by something else. Something that scared her more. It was determination.

  ‘It isn’t over, darling. This time, I’ll go. I can walk back to my car. But I’ll be watching, Ellie. Don’t get too close to Max or I won’t like it. You’re mine now.’

  She didn’t look at him, but she heard him leave. The car door slammed, and he was gone. Ellie sat still for a second. Then her mouth filled with saliva, and she started to shiver.

  Oh shit - not here.

  But she couldn’t stop it. She flung the car door open and leaned down into the gap between her car and the white van as the meagre contents of her stomach deposited themselves on the tarmac.

  24

  In her mind, Leo had always pictured the High Street of Little Melham as a black and white image, cold and wet with dismal skies and cheerless shop windows. She had associated it with heavy bags that made her young arms ache, people laughing at her or pointing and staring. She was “the bastard”. The child who had appeared from nowhere, and that nobody wanted.

  Today, however, she had to admit that it was actually looking quite pretty. The sun was filtering through the branches of the trees that lined either side of the road, creating dappled patterns on the pavement, and the shop fronts looked bright and cheerful.

  She knew that Tom had felt uncomfortable with some of her revelations; he had probably expected her problems to be something and nothing, and no doubt wished he had never started the conversation. It had given him an opening to tell his own sad story, though, and Leo was shocked to hear of his brother’s death in a speed boat accident. While evidently this had left him considerably wealthier than he might otherwise have been, it made no difference at all to his sense of loss.

  After sharing some of their past sorrows they had moved onto safer ground, and Tom had talked about plans for his career here in the north west. He was fairly certain that a Chief Inspector in the Manchester force was going to be retiring soon, and although it wouldn’t be a promotion, he’d be happy with that as long as he was within driving distance of Lucy.

  Leo couldn’t quite fathom Tom. He seemed confident and comfortable with himself, but there was a slight remoteness about him that suggested something in his life had made him wary. Apart from the story about his brother’s death, he had been very quiet about his private life. Although he was happy to talk about Lucy, he didn’t say what had caused him and his wife to divorce, and he didn’t leave her a suitable opening to ask. She got the feeling that still waters ran very deep. He seemed like a man who laid bare about sixty per cent of his soul, but the remainder would be very hard to penetrate.

  At the end of lunch, they said their goodbyes and Leo decided to stroll back through the village on the opposite side of the road from the wine bar. She’d noticed earlier that there was a new delicatessen, and thought she would pop in and pick up a few bits and pieces to nibble before dinner that night. At least that way Ellie might not feel the necessity to cook her heart out yet again.

  The shop was busy, but nobody appeared to be buying much. The shopkeeper glanced towards Leo.

  ‘Is it okay if I just have a look around?’ Leo asked. ‘I’ve no idea what I want.’

  ‘Be my guest. Let me know if you need any help.’

  There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments and Leo couldn’t decide whether to pick something at random and make a hasty exit, or take her time and ignore the atmosphere. The shopkeeper must have recognised Leo’s discomfort, and came to her rescue.

  ‘Sorry, love. We didn’t mean to be rude. We were just talking about that terrible accident on Friday night. We’re all a bit in shock, you see. Are you from round here?’

  ‘No - I’m only staying for a few days. But I did hear about it. The waitress in the wine bar mentioned it too,’ Leo responded.

  The shopkeeper nodded. ‘It’s dreadful - and they’re saying that the driver has to be from here, because the road doesn’t really go anywhere else. The whole village is talking about it. We can’t believe it, to tell you the truth.’

  One of the other women spoke up.

  ‘Well, they’ve been checking the cameras - you know - those in the village. There’s one at the petrol station, but I don’t know if there are any others. Never thought it mattered much. I do know that they’ve been taking suspects into the station. Two of them are from the High School too. It just goes to show, doesn’t it? Teachers? They’re no better than the rest of us, are they?’

  The shopkeeper leaned her elbows on the counter.

  ‘Do you know which teachers it was, Sally?’

  ‘All I heard is that one is a deputy head - a man. And then they’ve taken the PE Teacher in as well. How awful if it was one of them, and they’d left that girl to die.’

  Leo felt a shock at the mention of a PE Teacher. She was as certain as she could ever be, though, that Max would never have knocked somebody over and abandoned them on the side of the road. She wondered if the deputy head could be Pat. Surely not?

  ‘It’s not only the teachers who’ve been taken in,’ said another of the customers, a large woman with a too tight perm. ‘Our Philip was at the dentist this morning, and he saw that big-wig banker chap - you know, the one that works in London - him who’s married to the girl who disappeared overnight from the village all those years ago. I can’t remember his name. Well - he was scurrying out of the police station too - looking very shifty according to our Philip. You know what I think? All these sorts from the smart end of the village with their fancy jobs and flash cars to match - they all drink wine like it’s going out of fashion. Then they think nothing of driving home. I just bet when they find out who it was, they’ll discover that he’d been drinking. It’s just criminal is what I think.’

  Surely they couldn’t be talking about Charles and Fiona? Disappeared? Leo remembered that Fiona had left the village, but that didn’t mean she’d disappeared. And why were they interviewing Charles? He was in London until Saturday.

  ‘Have you heard anything, love?’ the shopkeeper asked Leo.

  ‘I’m afraid not,’ she answered, shaking her head. She wouldn’t bother to mention the connections through Ellie and Max.

  ‘Well, we’re all saying that if it is somebody from the village, we all need to ask around. Notice if anything isn’t quite right, or if somebody was out on Friday night that shouldn’t have been. We’ve got as much chance as finding this villain as the police do - so if you hear of anything, just let us know.’

  Leo was relieved to hear the old fashioned bell on the door tinkle. A memory of Ellie going out on Friday night flashed through her mind, and she desperately wanted to change the subject. However, the new arrival was far from the saviour she had been hoping for.

  Fiona.

  Even though Leo hadn’t taken an active part in the conversation, she could feel herself flush slightly. The woman called Sally turned to study the wide range of goods on the shelves behind her, and everybody was self-consciously trying to look anywhere but at Fiona.

  Clearly having no sense of interrupting anything, Fiona looked surprised to see Leo.

  ‘Hello, Leo. What brings you into the village on this sunny afternoon?’

  Now Leo felt worse. The women in the shop would think she had intentionally misled them.

  ‘I’ve come for a few bits for Ellie.’

  ‘Well I’m glad I’ve seen you, because I seem to remember at dinner on Saturday night you offered to buy me lunch. Well, I’ve been thinking about it and that would be very nice. Shall we say the wine bar at twelve thirty tomorrow?’

  In the eyes of everybody else in the shop, Fiona had now moved from being nothing more than a casual acquaintance of Leo’s to being a very good friend.

  Th
e shopkeeper offered to serve them, and Fiona politely indicated the other women in the shop.

  ‘They’re browsing, don’t worry about them,’ was the response. The hard stare was reserved for Leo, who ended up buying rather more than she came for. Fiona only wanted some Parma ham, so they were soon served and left the deli together.

  With the exception of the words necessary to complete their purchases, nobody had spoken since Fiona had arrived, but Leo had the strong feeling that she had once again become the person for whom shops fell silent as she walked through the door.

  Immediately the village morphed back into its former shades of black, white and grey. The colour seemed to have drained out of the day as she realised that if the village gossips were to be believed, several of the people closest to Ellie could be implicated in Friday’s accident. And she had yet to find out where Ellie had been on the night in question.

  25

  Since arriving home from work, Ellie hadn’t stopped. She’d started by mopping the kitchen floor - which didn’t sound like a big deal, but it was an enormous kitchen cum family room, and of course she’d had to put all the twins’ toys away first. Max had taken them off to the river to feed the ducks, so she had put her heart and soul into the cleaning. Manual labour was supposed to block out all worries. It wasn’t working.

  She was so grateful that nobody had witnessed her embarrassing moment in the car park. Fortunately, she’d had a large bottle of mineral water in the boot, so after a quick drink she had managed to flush most of the evidence from the tarmac down a convenient grid. But she hadn’t risked so much as a cup of tea since then.

  The house was quiet. It had an empty and abandoned feel to it. Ellie realised that it always felt like this to her when Max and the children weren’t there. But now it had special significance. Now she was frightened. Was he here? Was he waiting for the right moment to creep up behind her and wrap his arms around her waist? She’d had to keep busy. Either that, or lock herself in the bathroom until somebody came home.