The Logan Brothers - Books 1-4: (EXPOSURE, CRASH, TWIN PASSIONS, and ADDICTED TO YOU)

by Shorter, L. A.

  Her eyes found me, drawn by the laughter of Cade and his cronies, and she smiled lightly, her lips staying closed. Next to her, Alice noticed the sight of Tess draped over me and rolled her eyes, shaking her head. She was Tess' best friend, and I think she'd probably seen this all before.

  I barely reciprocated when Tess stuck her tongue down my throat, the boys still ogling us over to the side. I pulled my face away from Tess' wandering tongue and shouted over towards them: “why don't you all fuck off and stop staring!”

  They laughed a bit more before turning their attention to the latest shiny object to distract them. Fucking neanderthals. Tess grabbed at my face again and carried on where she'd left off. I noticed Gem look away as she did, returning to her conversation with Alice.

  I wish it was her on my lap instead.

  ….

  The night was drawing on when I sought refuge from the clutches of Tess. That girl just didn't take no for an answer. I found myself looking for some quiet away from the noise and growing chaos of the party, heading off outside to get some fresh air.

  I ventured down a corridor away from the hall and out onto a small garden to the back of the hotel. It was quiet and secluded, the beating thud of my party now only a blur in the distance. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, sucking the smoke in and exhaling deeply.

  The night sky was clear that evening, the stars shining brightly as I puffed away on my smoke, filling the air with rings that drifted off and slowly disintegrated. I sat there for a few moments, alone, gathering my bearings, happy to be on my own.

  I often got like this in group situations when Cade was around. It had always been the case: him stealing my thunder and putting me in the shade. He never did it on purpose, I don't think, he just had this more dominating personality. I guess, in that way, he was more like Crash, more like my father.

  I sat back in the comfortable lounge chair, gazing up at the stars and trying to encircle them in rings of smoke, when suddenly I heard a voice behind me.

  “You know, this is familiar.”

  I sat up and turned around to see Gemma standing in the doorway, two champagne glasses in one hand and a bottle of Dom Perignon in the other.

  She was smiling at me, her teeth shining in the moonlight, her beautifully curved figure silhouetted against the bright light down the corridor at her back.

  She stepped forward and flicked the door closed with her foot.

  “Familiar,” I said. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, it's like how we first met,” she said, sitting down in a chair beside me and placing the glasses and bottle down on a patio table in front of us. “Only this time, it's you who ran away.”

  I laughed lightly. “You noticed, huh?”

  She nodded, still smiling. “You didn't look overly comfortable in there. I thought I'd come out and say 'happy birthday' alone.”

  She leaned across and kissed me on the cheeks, her lips lightly brushing over my stubble.

  “Happy birthday Zack,” she said, before leaning back and popping the cork on the bottle and pouring two frothing glasses.

  “So what's going on,” she asked, handing me a full glass. “Why are you out here on your own on your birthday?”

  I lifted the cigarette from my mouth. “Just came out for a smoke,” I lied. “Terrible habit, I know.”

  “Yeah, you never used to smoke when I knew you.”

  “Gem, we were, like, what, 15?”

  “Yeah, loads of 15 year olds smoke!”

  I scoffed. “Yeah, well, not where my dad sent me. I can tell you, no one smoked there.” My voice carried a bitter finish.

  She put her hand to my arm in a consoling fashion, just as she used to when we were younger. “That bad huh?”

  “No, it was OK really. I'd have rather stayed where I was though...”

  “Same here.”

  We both fell silent for a moment. I didn't want to talk, even think, about the reasons why I left. It was a period of my life I always regretted, wanted to forget.

  “So,” I said, breaking the silence and changing the subject, “how are things going with golden gloves in there?”

  “Golden gloves?” she laughed.

  “Yeah, just a silly nickname dad used to call Cade when we were all younger. He said his gloves would bring gold, that he'd be champ one day. I guess maybe that's beginning to come true now. I hear you're a part of that.”

  She was shaking her head as she answered. “Not really. Cade seems to think I'm some sort of lucky charm or something, that he's doing better because of me. I don't believe in any of that sort of stuff really. Has he always been like that?”

  “What, mental?”

  “Haha, yeah.”

  “Pretty much. He's always had superstitions when it's come to his boxing. I think you're the latest fad.”

  “Fad,” she huffed, “is that all I am!”

  “No, no,” I said laughing, “I'm sure you're more than just a superstition to him.”

  “Well I should hope so.”

  We laughed for a while together and sipped on our drinks. It was the first time we'd talked properly, just the two of us, since she reappeared into my life.

  “This is nice,” she said, slipping down into her chair and dragging her coat around her to protect her from the growing chill. “It's nice to talk to you again Zack.”

  I lit up another cigarette and took a drag. “Yeah it is, it's been kinda weird pretending we don't know each other, right?”

  She giggled. “Yeah, I guess that's my fault really. I should probably have just told Cade I knew you when I first realized who he was.”

  “And why didn't you?”

  She screwed her nose up. “I don't know really. I met him in the gym when he was boxing and thought he looked like you, only older. We talked for a bit and I asked if he had any brothers. He told me about all of you and then said your name. I think I just wanted to see what he was like, whether he was like you, without him knowing we were at school together.”

  “Right.....that's pretty fucked up Gem!” I joked. “You know, a normal person would have just come out and said, 'yeah, I know your twin, we knew each other in high school'. That might have made it a bit easier, you know.”

  “Yeah, well, I had no idea I'd start seeing him did I! I mean, he obviously reminded me of you...and I liked it.”

  She went quiet again and looked away from me and up to the stars.

  “Anyway,” she said, still gazing to the heavens, “why weren't you at school together?”

  “I dunno, our parents wanted us at different schools. I think they wanted us to grow up with our own sets of friends and our own lives, rather than just doing everything together like we did when we were little.”

  “That must have been shit.”

  “Yeah, not really. I actually wanted to go to school somewhere else.”

  “How come?”

  “Well, as you can probably tell Cade has this pretty dominating way about him. He casts a pretty big shadow. I guess I found myself walking in it a little bit.”

  It was a bitter subject for me so I stopped talking.

  “Well, that's not how you came across in high school. You were one of the most popular guys in class.”

  “Yeah,” I grunted, “because he wasn't around.”

  I bit my tongue. I didn't want my bitterness filling the air. It wasn't something anyone even knew about, least of all Cade. It was just the feeling I got of being one step behind him every step of the way. The fact that we were twins and were always being compared to each other made it all worse, what with Cade beginning to really shine in the ring.

  And what was I doing? Just running one of the clubs that my dad had owned. He'd built loads of businesses in his time, with several clubs and bars, and the casino, and had put us in charge of overseeing them when we got to an appropriate age.

  I'd been running the club for the last couple of years, at one time with Cade alongside me. As his boxing got more serious, howeve
r, dad told him to focus solely on that, leaving the club in my hands.

  I enjoyed the job and enjoyed the life, but I hadn't really achieved anything. I'd just been handed the keys to the place and told to run it, working for a while under the previous manager to learn the ropes before taking over. I hadn't build the business from scratch or achieved anything real. Not like Cade. He was making real splashes.

  I turned my thoughts away from the matter and changed the subject, asking Gemma about her life and her job and everything in between.

  She told me about her current role working for some lifestyle magazine and how it wasn't overly fulfilling. She spoke about her desire to be a real journalist, to work her way up towards one of the larger global magazines. She told me of her love of writing and investigation, and how she had an idea for a detective novel that she wanted to write.

  I remembered how she loved to read and write as a young teenager, and was always amazed by her imagination and creativity. It was a side of me that was woefully underdeveloped. I couldn't imagine myself out of a wet paper bag.

  It was the highlight of the night for me, sitting there talking to her under the stars, the gentle thud of music barely audible behind us. She was the only girl I'd ever had as a close friend, the only girl I'd be able to spend this much time with without sex coming into it.

  The problem was, as the evening drew on and I watched her lips spout words, a deep longing began to develop inside me, one that had long been dormant. She had developed from a pretty teenager into a gorgeous young woman. All I wanted to do was pull her off her seat onto me and kiss her right there under the moon.

  But no, I couldn't. I'd bottle those feelings up, keep them locked down inside me. She was with someone else now.

  Once again, I was in Cade's shadow.

  Chapter 9

  Present Day

  Cade

  I was walking on fucking air as I paced into the gym.

  “Yo Cade,” shouted one of the personal trainers there as I passed by, “when's your next fight bro?”

  The guy was massive, muscles bulging off his body. “Soon mate, soon. I'll let you know when I know.”

  The truth was, I already did know. I'd just been told, and it was just the sort of shot I was looking for.

  An hour earlier I'd been on the phone with my coach. “Cade, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first.”

  I hated when people did that shit. “I dunno coach, bad I guess.”

  “All right. I can't come down to the gym this afternoon, got held up with some nonsense with my little girl. Just take an easy session, hit some bags, do some circuits and fitness. We'll pick it up down in the ring tomorrow with some sparring. I've lined up some good sparring partners for you.”

  “Was that last bit the good news coach?”

  He laughed. “Fuck no, not even close.”

  “Sooo, what've you got for me?”

  “Are you sitting down?”

  “Yes coach.” I wasn't. “Enough with the suspense already.” This better be fucking good.

  “I've sorted your next fight. It's big.”

  “How big.”

  “Well as big as you're gonna get right now!”

  “Who?

  “Agulla.”

  “No fucking way! Agulla. He's, like, number two isn't he?!”

  “Yes he is.”

  “Well how the hell did you swing that?!”

  “His next opponent fell out, got an injury in training. He's fucked for about 6 months, poor bastard. It's left a slot open and I got you in my boy. It's in 2 weeks time.”

  I probably should have been sitting because my legs were turning to jelly right now. Agulla was 2nd in line for a shot at the cruiserweight belt. If I could take him down people would really fucking take notice of me, and not just in that clapped out arena down at the Cave. Hell no, we'd be talking about a potential shot at the number 1 and then, the fucking title itself!

  “All right Cade, I've gotta rush off but I'll see you tomorrow at 6am down at the boxing club. Get yourself off to the gym but keep it light. And for the next two weeks we're gonna go strict on your nutrition, get you primed for battle and fighting fit. So no snacks, no drink. And Cade, no damn sex, all right. None, for the next two weeks. Eye on the prize my boy, eye on the prize.”

  “Yes coach. All noted. I've got motherfucking tunnel vision.”

  “Good lad. I'll see you tomorrow at 6.”

  Now I was in the gym, feeling more alive than I ever had outside of an actual fight. This was a real chance for me to get some proper attention. Not fucking attention from girls in the crowd and lifestyle magazines, but proper boxing journalists and promoters. If a boxing journo came to me and wanted to do a story, hell yeah would I say yes. Talking to trashy magazines, though, fuck that.

  I'd told Gemma that I'd give her an exclusive, though, and was really regretting it. OK, so she was my lucky charm and was supporting me but, really, it was me putting in all the effort. I did want her career to go well and everything but now that I had this fight set up, I had no time for anything else. Not even her.

  She'll understand when I tell her I think. She's a good girl, she gets how important all of this is to me.

  ….

  Gemma sat across the table from me, sipping on a glass of wine. She looked great, but I had other things on my mind.

  We were sat in my apartment, eating some pre-prepared food I'd got sent over from this health food delivery service I used. When I first started dating Gem she thought I prepared the food myself, and I'd never told her the truth that I was a fucking atrocious cook and only ever ordered in or ate out.

  Of course, with my fitness and nutrition regime the way it was, everything needed to be carefully calculated for my body. Coach had gotten my sports nutritionist to create a special take-away menu that I could use, so whenever I called up, I'd know that I was putting the right stuff into my body.

  Mercifully, it all tasted great, and Gem was now sitting there extolling my fabricated cooking skills.

  “This is amazing Cade, what's in this sauce?”

  Oh fuck. I had no idea.

  “Trade secret baby,” I said with a smile. She'd gotten used to me side-stepping such questions so didn't push it.

  “So babe,” I said, moving the subject onto more pressing concerns, “I've got my next fight lined up.”

  “Oh great,” she exclaimed. I sensed a hint of false excitement in her voice. “When?”

  “Two weeks tonight. It's a big one Gem.”

  “Oh?”

  I could feel my heart beating faster once more at the prospect. “Yeah, it's what I've been waiting for baby. Things are finally starting to take off.”

  “Oh that's great Cade,” she said, “I'm so happy for you.”

  “For us,” I said fast, without thinking. “You're in this with me Gem. I don't know if I'd have got here without you.”

  She shook her head lightly and turned to look out the large window to the side of the table. The bright city lights were beaming outside against the black night, a smattering of rain tapping against the glass.

  “I've done nothing Cade. I'm sure you'd have done the same without me, or with anyone in my place.”

  “No Gem, you're special. I want you watching me every time I fight.”

  She turned back to me and smiled with pursed lips. “I'll be there. Of course I'll be there.”

  We continued to eat in silence as the rain grew heavier outside. I felt a slight weight begin to build in me. I needed to tell her that I couldn't give her an interview. I needed to tell her that I couldn't sleep with her, even see her for the next two weeks.

  An awkwardness was building that I'd never really felt with her. We'd been seeing each other for 6 months or more by now and I'd never had this feeling before. Her mind seemed preoccupied, her face smothered in concern, a frown set constantly over her eyes.

  “So Gem, this fight is the biggest I've had and the guy is fucking awesome.
Coach says I need to focus on it 100%, with no other distractions at all.”

  She was nodding somewhat absentmindedly.

  “So that basically means that, well, I can't really see you for the next couple of weeks.”

  The words barely seemed to register with her. I thought she'd be understanding and yet upset. Surely the idea of not seeing me at all for two weeks would be hard?! But no, she kept the same impassive, worried look on the face that she'd had all evening.

  “Oh OK, I guess that makes sense.”

  I don't know why but I kinda wanted more of a reaction than that.

  “But that's not all of it I'm afraid. I...I'm not going to be able to do that interview. I'm really sorry baby, it's just not the right timing for me anymore...and coach says that if I'm going to give an exclusive it needs to be with a sports or boxing specific magazine, not a lifestyle one. Baby, I'm really sorry, I'll make it up to you.”

  I felt bad letting her down but I knew it was the right thing to do. I was a serious boxer now and I didn't want to revalue myself by chatting about what brand of boxer shorts I wore or where I liked to get my hair cut. I guess that's what some gossipy lifestyle magazine would want to print. They'd have no interest in my actual career, just my personal life.

  “It's OK, I wasn't sure I was gonna do the piece anyway,” she said. “It didn't feel quite right, with you being my boyfriend and everything.”

  I was slightly taken aback by how calm she was being about it all. “Oh, OK,” I said, breathing a sigh of relief, “so we're cool then?”

  “Oh, yeah, we're cool,” she said, completely unconvincingly, “I get it Cade.”

  Her manner was really starting to become quite disconcerting. I mean, she just came off like she was depressed or something, like she didn't give a shit that her career wasn't going to get the boost she wanted, that I was going to step completely out of her life for the next couple of weeks. I thought, at the very least, she'd be a little upset.

  “So are you really all right with this? You know, not seeing me for two weeks?”