Paradise Disguised

by Liliana Hart

  Anna looked at the hotel in wonder. It was perfect. Small and tucked away in its own private forest, the running water of its famous creek a trickle in the background. She followed Dylan up to their suite and kept silent, unsure of what she could possibly say. She felt empty and ashamed that she’d let herself fall in love with a man who wasn’t capable of loving her for an eternity.

  She’d heard the words she was thinking slip through his lips, but she’d also seen the expression of regret as soon as he’d said them. She knew logically that men said things they wouldn’t normally in the heat of the moment, but it didn’t make the want to hear them or the need to believe them any less painful.

  Dylan had probably said those words to dozens of women over the years. Why should she be the exception? In fact, why should she be the one to spill her guts and take a chance on love when it was all just a word game to him? She was the one who had the most to lose. Love wasn’t something that came easily to her. She knew she loved Dylan, but she was still afraid of what it meant. And now her fear was doubled because what would happen when he realized he didn’t really love her back?

  She walked into the suite and headed over to the desk. She ignored their private view of the creek that could be seen perfectly from the lake sized, four-poster bed that sat in the middle of the room. She’d tackle the bed issue later. The room was spacious and open, but she felt as if the walls were closing in on her with Dylan standing mere feet away.

  “I need to make some business calls before all the stores close for the night,” Anna said, thinking of the first excuse that came to mind so she could avoid being alone with him a little longer.

  “Fine,” Dylan said, his voice flat. “I’m going to head down to the bar for a drink. Our reservation is at seven thirty.”

  He closed the door behind him with a controlled effort Anna had to admire. He was angry with her, but she should be the one who was angry.

  She walked out onto the balcony, her phone calls forgotten, and lost herself in thought. They’d have to come to an understanding before the night was over. Her heart was too vulnerable to make love to him again without letting him know her feelings.

  She looked over her shoulder at the bed that beckoned lovers by the sight of it. Things were bound to get more difficult as the night went on.

  ***

  Dylan nursed his Scotch on the rocks as he waited for Anna to walk into the bar. What had he been thinking, leaving himself wide open for rejection, again.

  He heard the conversation in the bar dim and knew Anna had walked into the room. He had the same reaction every time he saw her. She was beautiful, but she was sweet and kind and funny. The complete package. She made him laugh and she made him want with an intensity that frightened him at times.

  He turned in his seat and watched her make her way towards him, turning every male eye in her direction. Her eyes were locked to his, and she never noticed the other men’s stares.

  “Are you ready for dinner?” she asked.

  “I’ve been looking forward to it all day,” he said, matching her strained smile with one of his own.

  He put his hand in the small of her back and led her to the dining area, scowling in the direction of a few men whose gazes lingered a little too long.

  “How about some champagne?” Dylan asked as if they were celebrating. The steward took the order and scurried off to procure their best bottle.

  “So,” Dylan said, finally getting the eye contact he’d been waiting for. “How long are you going to pretend I didn’t say it?”

  The color slowly drained from Anna’s face. “I don’t know what you mean,” she said, busying herself by straightening the silverware in front of her.

  “You know exactly what I mean. I want to know why you won’t acknowledge it and why you’re treating me like a stranger.”

  “I just don’t think it’s significant.”

  “You don’t think me telling you I love you is significant?” Dylan asked. People were beginning to turn and stare, the volume of his voice a little louder than necessary.

  “Ssh…” Anna said, mortified. “I don’t think it’s significant because I’m sure it’s a term you use rather loosely with all of the women you sleep with.”

  Now it was Dylan’s color that drained, leaving his pallor ashen with anger. “I noticed that you didn’t come to me a virgin. Why do you get to throw my past in my face? What if I told you the women from my past are meaningless because the only woman I want from now on is you? Do you think I’m so incapable of change?”

  Anna kept silent at his outburst. She found it hard to believe that he’d only want her from now on, but he was right about throwing his past in his face. “I apologize for what I said.”

  “You’re sorry for saying it to my face. That doesn’t mean you’re not still thinking it. That word has never left my mouth, not to any other woman I’ve ever been with, not even to my ex-wife. It’s a word that scares the shit out of me every time I hear it, but you think it’s insignificant?”

  Anna was shocked by Dylan’s confession. She had no idea that he’d been serious in his declaration, and she was about to tell him so when he continued talking.

  “I got married the first time because my ex-wife told me she was pregnant. That was the only reason. She lied about the baby and the little spark of love I felt for that baby fizzled, and hate for her took up that space in my soul. I was relieved when she walked out the door and into her new lover’s Lexus. I have never wanted a woman the way I want you, and I sure as hell have never loved a woman the way I love you. Though God knows why because the way you keep running away from me would probably discourage a lesser man.”

  Their dinner was served without fanfare, the silence and tension at the table so thick it could be cut with a knife. The waiters approached their table like it was wired to explosives.

  “Do you know what my reaction was when you told me today that you could be pregnant?” Dylan asked. “I didn’t realize it at the time because I was shocked and scared, but my overall gut feeling was joy because what better way to celebrate how much I love you than with a child.”

  Anna didn’t know what to say, so she kept silent. Her own insecurities were bringing out the only defense mechanism she had. Anger. It was building inside her, and she knew it would come to a head before too long. She picked at the buttery lobster that sat in front of her, unable to enjoy its taste.

  “You know what I think?” Dylan asked. “I think you’re the one with the issues here. I’ve faced my fears and laid my heart open for you, but you’re still hiding from yourself and your own fears. What are you so afraid of?”

  “What’s there not to be afraid of?” she asked, uncaring they were in the middle of a crowded restaurant and everyone was more interested in their conversation than the food in front of them. They probably would have been escorted out if Dylan hadn’t been such a valued guest.

  “What in the world makes you think I’d want to risk loving you, only to lose you or watch you walk away in the end? I watched my father fall to pieces after my mother died. He has never been the same, only half the man he could be. Do you think I’ve never dreamed of being in love? That I want to spend my life alone? What person would? But can I lay open my heart and soul to you, and not be a broken and bitter person when you decided to move on to your next conquest. I don’t know if I can. And I don’t know if it’s worth the risk.”

  “Sometimes you have to put everything on faith when it’s something this important. It’s not just about love, but the other things that go with it, like trust. When I say I love you, it’s a promise, not a convenience. These are your hang ups that you’re going to have to overcome. All I can do is love you.”

  Tears were streaming down Anna’s cheeks. Confusion and hurt clouded her mind and all she wanted was to hide in the shell she’d developed so many years before. She brushed the tears away quickly as the check was brought, and as soon as Dylan signed his name she stood and headed towards the elevators
.

  Dylan followed at a slower pace behind her, but his eyes stayed glued to her retreating form. She was distancing herself from him again, but he wasn’t going to let her get away with it this time.

  The elevator ride was made in strained silence until the other passengers departed on their own floors.

  “After you,” Dylan said sarcastically as he opened the suite door for her.

  Anna was just about to suggest that she sleep on the pull out couch in the sitting room when Dylan pulled her into his arms.

  “Do you honestly think I’m going to leave you alone tonight and let you sulk?” Dylan asked, pushing her against the wall.

  The door to the room slammed with such finality she was sure she’d never be able to escape. The coolness of the wall at her back warred with the heat of Dylan’s body as it pressed forcefully against her.

  “The last thing I’m going to do is give you a chance to run.”

  He brought his mouth to her own in a brutal kiss, a kiss to remind her who she was with and who wanted her. She moaned into his mouth even though her hands pushed him away. Every nerve in Anna’s body hummed at the feel of his lips touching her skin. But it was wrong. There was too much at stake to make love like neither one of them had any sense left.

  “Stop Dylan,” she begged. “This isn’t the way to do this. There are too many things to sort out.”

  “It’s exactly the way to do this. I’m about to make you face your fears head on.”

  His lips roamed over her face, to the tender spot just below her jaw and then to the pulse in her neck. He bit and suckled making her squirm with pleasure. The want never dimmed when she was in his arms. All the fear and doubt fled as he felt how her body molded to his perfectly.

  “No, don’t do this,” she said, even as her traitorous arms pulled him closer.

  Starving to be inside her, though it had only been hours since their last joining, he pushed her dress up around her waist and plunged his fingers inside of her waiting heat. His need was fierce, the urge to possess overwhelming any gentleness he might have had.

  He could hear her rapid breathing as he took her up, peak after peak. He slid his tongue over her quivering skin until he captured her breast. The prick of his teeth against her sensitive flesh sent her erratic pulse scattering.

  He was wild with want, with a restrained violence that Anna had never seen before. And the hunger she felt leaping in her own body was primal in its need to mate with this man. It was life and death, good and evil, joy and hate all rolled into one.

  Anna grabbed frantically at the clothes still covering his body. She pulled at his shirt until buttons started to fly, and she fumbled at the snap on his trousers. His fingers bit into the delicate flesh at her hips as he kept her anchored between his body and the wall, and he groaned as he felt her hands grasp his rigid cock in her hand. He fused his mouth to hers once again and pushed against her opening until he felt the wet heat envelop him fully.

  He thought briefly about the condoms in his bag and knew he should stop to get them, but he couldn’t do it. The feel of her around him was too great, and a little voice in his head told him he was desperate enough for Anna to see his love that he wasn’t above getting her pregnant to get through to her.

  He began to rock against her, slowly at first, then faster, faster until he was driven way past the point of reason. The only thing in the world at that moment was her. Only her. He felt her tighten around him and shudder in his arms. All he could do was follow in his own release.

  He leaned against her, their blood and heartbeats cooling along with the sheen of sweat that lightly coated their bodies.

  “This doesn’t change anything,” Anna said.

  Dylan found the energy to raise his head and look into her eyes. The tears coursing down her cheeks caused his heart to contract, but he understood her fear because it used to be his own.

  “It changes everything,” he said. He carried her over to the bed, still intimately joined, and laid her on the soft down quilts. He smoothed the tears from her cheeks and kissed them gently.

  Her eyes were wide and luminous as he began to move inside her slowly, tenderly. This wasn’t the furious coupling they’d shared before but something deeper, more intimate. It was a dance, give and take, swaying bodies and gentle moonlight.

  “I love you,” he said as the tempo quickened and soft sighs became urgent moans.

  “Look at me,” Dylan demanded when Anna closed her eyes to block the feelings she saw in his own. It was too much, too powerful for her to stand. She did love him, and when he was in her arms like this she couldn’t remember why she needed to resist him.

  “I love you,” he said again, and crushed his mouth to hers.

  ***

  His need for her didn’t diminish as the night grew longer. And her passion met his own, even when he could tell she was exhausted.

  The shadowy light of dawn was just beginning to glow pearly gray when he turned her to her back and slipped inside her. She was still half asleep, but her body welcomed him. He propped her legs over his arms and moved slowly, in and out, from the base of his cock to the very tip.

  “Do you want me to stop?” he asked as her eyes fluttered open to meet his gaze.

  “No. Don’t stop. Not ever.”

  “Good.” He leaned down and kissed her softly, entwining his tongue with hers in a lazy dance. And then he nipped sharply at her bottom lip, causing her to gasp with pleasure. “I told you we’d explore the desire you seem to have for a little pain.”

  He kept his thrusts steady as he moved his mouth down to her breasts. Her nipples were tight buds, the color of ripe cherries, just begging for his mouth to find them. He laved one with his tongue before giving it a sharp bite with his teeth. Her pussy spasmed around his cock, and he groaned at pleasure. He gave the same attention to the other and felt his balls draw tighter with every spasm she had.

  He pulled out of her before he spent himself too quickly and turned her to her stomach. He propped pillows beneath her, so her ass was put on display before him. He entered her from behind, loving the way he disappeared inside of her. She was so wet, and he used his fingers to spread her juices higher, dipping his finger into the tight bud of her anus.

  “Mmm,” she moaned.

  “Do you like that?” Dylan asked, slipping two fingers inside the tight hole as he continued his assault on her pussy with his cock.

  “Yessssss. It feels so good.”

  He stretched his fingers and lubricated her with her own cream. Sweat beaded on his brow, and his muscles strained with the effort to not spend himself too soon. He wanted his cock in her ass with a ferocity that made him shake. It was an intimacy that would bring them closer together than ever before.

  “Do you want me to fuck you here?” he whispered in her ear, nipping at the lobe. His other hand was beneath her rubbing her clitoris in slow circles while his cock was buried inside her and his fingers moved in and out of her ass.

  “Oh, God. I can’t take it anymore. It’s too much.”

  “There’s no such thing as too much pleasure, Anna. Just like there’s no such thing as too much love. If I take you in your ass it means you belong to me. And only me. Is that what you want?” He emphasized the question by flicking her clit until she hung just on the edge of orgasm.

  “Yes, please. Just fuck me.”

  “I want to hear you say you belong to me. Say it, and I’ll give you what you want.”

  Her breath heaved in and out of her chest, and her body trembled with need. Her voice choked out a sob when she answered. “I belong to you, Dylan. Only you.”

  Dylan roared with triumph and pulled out of her dripping pussy, moving to the small hole he’d stretched to accommodate his size. He pushed his bulbous head past the tight entrance, gritting his teeth at the pleasure that gathered in his balls. Once his head slipped past the tight ring, he slid all the way to the hilt. His hands grabbed her hips and he began thrusting.

  Her cries
of rapture couldn’t drown out his own. He’d never felt anything like this before. It was as if they were as close as two people could ever be. Heart to heart. Soul to soul. He pulled her up so her back rested against his chest and she sat partially on his knees. He strummed her clit with his fingers and plucked at her nipples. And when she tightened around him in a vise so tight he thought he’d lose consciousness, he buried his face in her neck and let his balls empty into her waiting depths.

  Dylan pulled out of her and collapsed on top of her. He pulled her into his arms. “I love you, Anna.”

  But the words went unheard because she was already asleep.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Well, what do you think?” Dylan asked Mitchell as he showed him the 2-carat brilliant diamond ring nestled in a little blue box.

  “I think you’re an idiot. Do you remember when we used to come to this place everyday, sit down at our desks and work to meet our deadlines? When can we start doing that again?” Mitchell asked, rubbing his throbbing temples.

  “So…does that mean you think she won’t like it?”

  “I think you’ve lost your mind, but that’s just me,” he said throwing his arms up in the air in defeat. There was no talking Dylan out of something once he’d made up his mind. “I’m not sure why you felt you needed to buy an engagement ring when the last time you saw each other you gave her an ultimatum and she walked out of your life. Again.”

  “I didn’t give her an ultimatum. Exactly. I just told her I loved her and that she needed to do some serious soul searching. She claims she loves me, but she doesn’t trust me to be able to love her back. Then I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but I wouldn’t keep making a fool of myself over someone who didn’t feel I was worth loving. And then she ran,” Dylan said undeterred. “Again.”

  Their romantic getaway hadn’t worked out exactly as he’d planned. They’d turned to each other over and over again in the darkness of the night, and he’d shown her the depth of his love in every possible way.