Beyond Those Distant Stars

by John B. Rosenman

  “Stella, we have a chance to be together forever.” He smiled. “Do you remember what I told you just before I closed my eyes?”

  “You mean just before you died?”

  “I said I'd wait for you amid the stars. Do you remember?” He raised his head toward the ceiling. “Do you want to talk about illusions? The belief in some kind of communion in a mystic afterlife is the worst one of all.” He shuddered. “I would have died if it weren't for her Godlike power. Thanks to her, I can live forever. And so can both of us, together.”

  She tried to think, but the passionate cadence of his voice swept her away on a hypnotic stream. Now he held both her hands and was gently pulling her somewhere. Looking down, she saw that she was naked, her bare feet passing through deep grass. When had she removed her armor?

  “She admires you,” Jason whispered. “Throughout all the universes and a trillion trillion trillion millennia, you're the only being she's admired and respected enough to choose as her host. Take me into you, Stella, and we'll be together forever.”

  The Slug-dimly she remembered that he had wanted to take her into him. Now the direction was the other way. She would take the All-Mother into herself.

  She knew she should resist, but soon found that she was lying on a carpet of lush green grass shaded by a leafy tree. Jason's lips were fire on her skin, and she felt her limbs part and open to him. “Let me come into you, Stella,” he moaned, “and we'll be together always.”

  Caressing her body, he moved himself over her, started to...

  With a vicious shove she cast him off and rose to her feet. “I won't be her vessel,” she cried. “She won't possess me!”

  He rose just as quickly. “It's not that at all! I'm not a parasite. We'd live together so we all could live.”

  A butterfly darted past, a splash of gold on a fragrant breeze. “It's only another lie,” she said. “My body would be an empty shell the All-Mother possessed while I existed in some small pocket of hell in what used to be my brain. And the lie that you are would be there with me.”

  “But I am Jason! Stella, I told you that she...”

  “Damn it, say her name.”

  Jason hesitated. “All right.” He started forward, and then stopped when she stooped and picked up a rock. “Stella, I know you hate the All-Mother, but she's only done what she has out of necessity. Try to see and feel it through her eyes. She's lived virtually forever, and she's been so terribly and cruelly alone. Beyond all that, she's been cursed with a hunger and love for life that mocks her barren existence.”

  “'Love for life'? Please excuse me if I don't weep in sympathy.” She flexed her back. “Besides that, you forget something. I'm barren too.”

  “She knows that,” Jason replied. “But you are what she is not, organically alive. What's more, with her knowledge she can do what humans can't. She can clone your flesh and generate a new womb. Your body can bear children, Stella. Your genes, our genes, can be passed on!” He held out his hands to her. “Stella, she has envied and admired and even loved you as no other. She wants—”

  “She wants my soul,” Stella said. “She wants to rape and possess all that I am.” She paused in understanding. “And that's her second secret, isn't it? Not only is she a sexless, sterile thing that must steal others’ children, but she wants to become me and have my children.”

  Jason's face hardened. “If you refuse, I'll die, Stella. And what we were together will die also.”

  “No,” Stella said, even though part of her yearned for what he offered. “Jason has already died. But my memories of him never will. I'll keep him alive for both of us.” She raised the rock. “You aren't Jason.”

  He moved slightly forward. “What if you're wrong? I think I'm Jason. I still have his memories, and I still love you. What if I am Jason?”

  She met his gaze, feeling something heal inside, grow stronger than ever before. “It doesn't matter. At one time all I needed was someone like you who thought I was beautiful, someone who cared for me despite what I was. But not anymore, and never again.” Her face hardened. “You're only a man.”

  Jason took a step, but he was already fading. “Don't ... Don't say that.”

  “I can live without him,” she said. “I can stand alone.” She smiled. “And you don't exist.”

  Before her, Jason wavered like a dream, a mirage she could see right through. The thick grass and shady tree were disappearing too, as was the rock in her hand. Bracing herself, she watched Jason slip from existence. His outstretched, pleading hand was the last to go.

  She scanned the bow. Ten meters away lay her armor. She had come so close.

  Stella faced the way Jason had been pulling her. The All-Mother had projected Jason's image and used it to entice and draw Stella toward her. That meant she should continue in the same direction in order to find her enemy.

  “Where are you?” she called, walking slowly forward. “Show me your true form. I've learned your first two secrets; now show me the last and best of all. Show me what you look like!”

  She continued on, moving directly toward the huge plexiport and the yawning singularity beyond it.

  “Where are you?” she said. “Come out and show me your face. That is, if you have one!”

  Stop!

  The All-Mother struck, withering her resolve so that she froze. I wanted you to accept me and what I offered of your own free will, and to help me spin your death song. I wanted this because I've come to respect you as a worthy and resourceful adversary, the only one in all my endless existence. I offered you Jason and eternal life after you had passed from this one, but since you have scorned them...

  For a moment there was only the brooding presence of the All-Mother's mind in her own. Since you have scorned them, I shall now take by force what I could have taken even before you entered this bow. I shall destroy your mind, Stella Singlethorne McMasters, cast you out, and replace your identity with my own.

  And the All-Mother struck again, this time with all her strength.

  Stella fell-first to her knees, then on her face. The All-Mother's will was overwhelming, pounding at her in relentless waves. She felt her sense of identity fade like Jason's image, the All-Mother start to invade her deepest core and claim it as her own.

  NO.

  Strong her enemy was, and meters away. Still, the All-Mother was not omnipotent. Prostrate upon the bow floor, Stella realized that through repeated exposure, she had become somewhat resistant. While her defeat might be swift and total, it would not be instantaneous.

  If she could only find a way to use the few moments she had left to fight back and get closer.

  You are mine now, abject human. After I have spun your death song, your brain and body shall be mine. You shall have nothing, not even Jason or your memories of him.

  Fading, fading ... Stella couldn't even remember how she had come here or what her mission was, only that there was a terrible need to resist this force that crushed her and sought to suck her dry. If there was only something...

  Gage.

  A name, a feeble flame in darkest night. But she clung to it. The name, damn it. Concentrate on the name. Use it to resist. Soon you'll be mine, Stella Singlethorne McMasters, all mine. I shall seed the stars with my own children and fill this universe!

  Yes, Gage. Her first name, what was it? The initial was A, but what did it stand for? Could it be Antigone or Audrey, Alpha or Ashley...?

  Don't try to shield your mind from me, the All-Mother raged. You cannot keep me out, let alone escape defeat. Indeed, you have already lost.

  Slowly, painfully, Stella crawled forward, her concentration on a name she had never learned.

  Perhaps Alvenice or Alicia, Arden or Arnette, April or Astra...

  Do not come closer! the All-Mother ordered. I forbid you.

  Or what about that soldier I once knew named Agrippina? Stella thought. Or other odd names such as Alcestis and Allexandrina? And don't forget Amarantha and Andromeda, Abrosine and Annuncita!
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  Driving hard, Stella crawled on, her mind screaming a name for each cry of her enemy's.

  Ayanna.

  Stop!

  Adele.

  No!

  Aurora.

  I command you-stop!

  The last words stunned Stella and she collapsed on her face at the base of an ornate ivory pedestal. She moaned, tried to rise but failed. So near and yet so far! She felt her consciousness and sense of identity fade as before, and knew that this time would be the last. Soon she would be only an empty vessel for the All-Mother to fill.

  I have WON! Triumph swept through Stella's being. The All-Mother sang joyously, gloating in her imminent victory.

  Leadenly, Stella raised her head, seeing the pedestal above through a thickening mental mist. At the top of the column perched a shimmering, multi-faceted crystal secured by an intricate harness.

  With the last of her will, Stella reached up and struck the pedestal as hard as she could.

  Jarred, the alien presence in her mind weakened briefly, and then surged again toward full control. Knowing she must resist both the All-Mother and the tempting slide toward oblivion, Stella raised her fist and struck the pedestal again and again, feeling the hard surface tear her skin and smash her knuckles. Pushing herself up to her knees, she struck the pedestal once more and saw it teeter, fall, and crash to the deck.

  No time to rest! Fighting unconsciousness, Stella removed the crystal from its harness and cupped it in her hands. She staggered to her feet, staring in awe at the beautiful object.

  The crystal glowed and pulsated with the primal fires of creation, with the measureless energy that had created the All-Mother herself so many times. That energy, Stella knew, was the source of the All-Mother's prodigious powers, and it was wondrous, ineffably glorious to behold. Colors and patterns beyond description surged and danced, creating dimensions that sang within her veins and made her throb with infinite power.

  It was like holding the universe in her hands.

  But something was wrong, for the cosmic furnace that warmed her hands began to dim. Turning the crystal, Stella detected a hairline fracture on one of the facets, caused by the crystal's fall.

  She brought the crystal close to her eyes. “Losing your spark, All-Mother?” she said. “The blaze of new-born suns that conceals you? Come out from behind your veil and hide no longer. Let me see your inmost form!”

  The crystal continued to fade, its alchemy reversed. No longer sublime, its fires subsided, dulled to dross and soon to even less. The universe she held was a wasteland about to die, approaching the final stage of entropy.

  But not quite. Peering close, Stella spotted movement. What was it? She turned the cold crystal in her hands. “Where are you, All-Mother?” she said. “Let me see you.”

  Another flicker of movement. Squinting, Stella caught a glimpse of tiny spidery legs and a face so alien, so antithetical to her species that no human mind could ever retain it or even preserve a single feature without going totally and hopelessly mad. Though she saw it only for an instant, the image seemed to last forever, to burn its way into her soul. Such subtle and haunting wrongness, yet, at the same time, such skewed, distorted, and impossible geometry! Why, it was as if...

  Then the All-Mother vanished and all Stella could remember was its limitless hate and malevolence, and the small spiderlike legs. But that was enough.

  “No wonder you've always bragged about spinning death songs,” she laughed, “and no wonder you didn't want me to see you. That's your third and final secret isn't it, All-Mother? Instead of being godlike, you're puny and insignificant.”

  Rage blasted Stella from the All-Mother. Rage at being exposed and rage at having her third secret uncovered. At this final onslaught, Stella wilted, feeling icy talons claw at her mind. Then the assault waned, trailing a brief fear-filled image.

  An ejector tube.

  Stella clutched the crystal to her, staggered up and glanced about. Where was the ejector tube? She took a step, then another, seeking the object she had glimpsed in her enemy's mind. But it wasn't here. She must have been mistaken.

  Ah, there it was against the wall! Holding the crystal, she lurched toward the ejector tube.

  “Still afraid to die after having lived so long, All-Mother?” she said. “Let's see if you'll boast about your godhood after a plunge down a singularity without a ship! As you go, here are some other names to take with you. Thunderheart ... Brett Duvall ... Myles Uxman ... Carol Wayne...”

  She found a swirling red vortex against the bulkhead and plunged her mind into it. I learned this from your son! she screamed.

  Stop! You must listen!

  “Why must I listen?” Stella laughed. She found the core of the force field and prepared to access it. “In a moment, you'll be gone forever!”

  “You must listen,” the All-Mother cried. “I have a fourth secret!”

  Seductive tendrils of thought crept into Stella's mind. Against her better judgment, she partially withdrew her consciousness from the vortex.

  “You're only a spinner of lies!” Stella said. “There is no fourth secret.”

  Yes, there is. And deep within you, you know it.

  Curious, Stella withdrew completely from the vortex. She felt certain that all of her adversary's mighty power was gone, that it had slipped through the crack in the crystal. Yes, she was quite sure of that. Since the All-Mother had only this desperate ploy left, since she was reduced to such a pathetic ruse, why shouldn't she play with her a moment longer?

  “Very well, what is this fourth secret of yours? You're a sexless thief of others’ children; you want to become me and fill the universe with my children; and you're only a pitifully small thing I could step on. What else could you be hiding?”

  I have many more secrets yet to tell, the All-Mother whispered, but it is my fourth one especially that you should know. You see, I don't have to become you, for you can become me. I can make you God, Stella.

  “God?” Stella's lips shaped the word. “What do you mean?”

  The All-Mother's words grew silky, soft as a caress. What would it be like to have immense, unlimited power? To be me? I could give it all to you, Stella, and more!

  “I...”

  Think for a moment what it would be like, the All-Mother murmured soothingly. Unlike those you call ‘Slugs,’ you are not bored and sated with existence but hunger to embrace it all. You could span the universe and with your infinite life, bring it under your dominion. And even more, you could have children, Stella, seed the stars with the fruit of your womb. I can bring that to pass as well.

  “No.” Dimly, Stella sensed that she had misjudged her foe. The All-Mother wasn't powerless, for she was capable of using Stella's own subconscious desires against her. It was as if she were becoming ensnared in a seductive web that she was helping the All-Mother to weave.

  Think of your enemies, my Stella. Those who have laughed and opposed you, mocked your greatness and dared to call you names. Imagine the delight of being able to destroy those who offend or revile you as if they were helpless vermin beneath your feet. Think of it, Stella!

  Stella was surprised to find that she was thinking of it, thinking of all those who had scorned her like Loran and seen her as a ‘monstrosity.’ What would it be like to be able to crush such an offender like an insect? And Malek, who had subjected her to the indignity of wearing a body-cuff after she had captured the Slug ship. What outrage, what unbearable insult! If she listened to the All-Mother, she would be able to punish such transgressors, and her retributive justice would be swifter than any sword!

  Do you see, my Stella? The All-Mother coaxed. Do you see what I offer?

  “Yes ... I do.” Stella gazed raptly into the dead, dark interior of the crystal. “What must I do?”

  Not much at all, the answer came. It is such a little thing. All you must do is turn the crystal over so I can slip through the crack and rest in your hand.

  Stella's hands were already beginning t
o obey. “But why don't you do that yourself?”

  I have been weakened. In time I will recover my powers. But there is no need for me to do so, Stella. All you have to do to seal our bond and embrace your transcendent destiny is one small thing. Just turn the crystal over and hold it in your hand.

  Such glory, Stella thought, her hands turning the crystal as if they had a will of their own. All she had to do was as the All-Mother asked and she would be able to span the stars, conquer a thousand galaxies. And her enemies, all those who dared to offend her, however slightly, how she would crush and lay them waste! She laughed, and then felt a twinge of doubt. Was it right to use power so selfishly?

  If you like, the All-Mother said, you could use your abilities for noble causes. You could cure disease, eliminate war, and promote love. The choice would be up to you, Stella, for you would be God.

  She would be God. The All-Mother was right. She could use her powers for good, not evil, make life beautiful rather than ugly. The only problem...

  Stella frowned and rubbed her eyes, surprised at how dazed and numb she felt. It was as if she had been drugged, drawn to the abyss by this deadliest, most seductive trick. Swallowing, she gazed at the crystal and gasped. She had turned it almost completely over. Even as she watched, a shadow within the crystal crept toward the crack, getting closer and closer. She saw one of its legs reach the crack, then another.

  The All-Mother was about to slip through it and onto her hand!

  Quickly, Stella turned the crystal back over and gripped it tightly in both hands.

  Shuddering, she peered into the crystal, catching a wisp of movement and a furtive, diminutive face. It was only the briefest of glimpses, but it was enough. She had no doubt about what she had seen, no doubt that the face was different now.

  This time, the face was her own.

  Why do you hesitate? The All-Mother asked. Do it.

  Stella blinked and shook herself. She felt as if she had awakened from an insidious spell, a deep, hypnotic sleep in which she would have lost the most important part of herself. Even if she tried to do good, she could not risk being seduced by her enemy and corrupted by such powers. She might seek to conquer the cosmos and crush all resistance while spreading her children everywhere. Her children, born of her own regenerated womb. Yes, she could become what she had not dared even to hope for-a mother! She would be able...