Scarred: Hudson & Callie (Oak Springs Book 2)

by Lucy Rinaldi

  My sisters don’t work Saturday’s. Della bakes enough cookies and pastry’s Friday afternoon to get me through Saturday. And I make up sandwiches and subs as and when ordered. I manage quite well on my own. Plus, I have a part-timer who helps me out by taking orders and working the front of my shop, so I’m not really alone.

  Molly, my part timer, opens up for me Saturday’s and holds down the fort until my class it over. On the rare occasions that I have to work front of shop I keep my head down, I don’t make eye contact with anyone. Although I won’t say that I’m verbally rude to anyone because I’m not. Everyone in this town knows me, and everyone always wants to know how I’m doing. I answer the same every time, “I’m fine. Thank you. How are you?” Nothing more, nothing less.

  “Are you sure?” I nod at Lora with a smile before kissing both my sister’s cheeks, followed by the rest of the girls.

  “You’re not going to walk home, are you?”

  “Del,” I chuckle. “I’m twenty-six. I’ve lived in this town my whole life, I’m sure I know the way home by now. Make sure you have a safe flight and call me the moment you get there.” She not even staying overnight, she’ll be exhausted by the time she gets home. I honestly don’t know how she does it.

  But instead of resting for the night before coming home, she goes to her meetings and gets on the next plane home. Sleeping without Freddy is always a no-no where Della is concerned. Ever since they moved in together three years ago, apart from work and the little travel Della does, they never spend time apart. They just have that kind of relationship. And it’s even worse since what happened last year. Being without him doesn’t feel right to her, and that’s okay because he feels the same way.

  “I will.” I blow them all air kisses before leaving.

  If I don’t leave now I’m going to have a panic attack. I need some fresh air. Being in the same place for too long, apart from my house, always makes me panic. The monster that did all of this to me ruined everything about me. And it is so hard trying to be the girl I once was. But I have to have faith that she’s still in here with me somewhere, just waiting to get out.

  *

  It always amazes me how beautiful this town can be at night. The sky is always so full of stars, and I love sitting on the edge of the dock and dangling my feet in the cold water. I won’t do that tonight, though, even though my feet are killing. I’ve been standing on them for sixteen hours. Dangling my feet in the water in October isn’t a good idea, though, no matter how much I may want to.

  I lean against the metal rail and look out at the water, remembering times where life was so much simpler. I breathe the fresh air deep into my lungs. One of the benefits of living in a waterfront town is the fresh water air.

  I used to love summers here when I was in high school. Jumping in the cold water with friends to cool down. Days of skinny dipping in the dark with Hudson, the way he would hold me and kiss me, all the time feeling weightless in the water surrounding us.

  As a grown up, Sunday’s were my favorite days. That’s when I’d jump into the water with my sisters and friends and have fun. The evenings were filled with Hudson and I doing whatever our hearts desired, even if that was simply holding each other. I won’t be doing any of that next summer or any other summer for that matter.

  I push the strands of hair blown into my face by the wind behind my ear while breathing the fresh air into my lungs again. I should have worn my hat, I often do when I wear my red waist length trench coat. I don’t know why I didn’t in this weather. And why did I leave my hair loose?

  “Do you remember when we used to skinny dip in there?” I jump out of my skin. That voice is so familiar, so deep, so sexy. It’s not one I’ve heard in a long time. Hudson Ryker, my first and only love. The man that broke my heart into a trillion pieces.

  My heart is positively banging in my chest to the point I have to gulp a deep breath because it feels like it’s forcing its way out of my throat. I imagine him here with me so often that I’m not sure he really is there.

  “We once got caught by old Mrs. Palmer.” I chuckle to myself at the memory.

  Whether he’s really there or not, I can’t turn around and look at him. I can’t have him see my face. It’s not the same face he remembers. And he’s bound to ask what’s with the mask, just like a lot of out-of-towner’s do if they happen to see me. That, and I’m still mad at him for what he did and the way he left me.

  “Yes, we did.” He laughs. “How have you been?” He asks quietly.

  “Fine.”

  Not fine. I’m dead inside. I needed you so badly and you weren’t there, even though you promised you would always be there.

  Not that I’ll say that out loud, as much as I want to.

  “How about you?”

  “Fine. Still mad at me?”

  “No.”

  Yes. You left me for five years, jackass!

  “Standing with your back to me suggests otherwise.”

  He’s right behind me. I know he’s really there. And all of a sudden he’s so close to me. Why is he standing so close to me?

  “I should’ve come home before now.”

  It’s been five years since he’s been here. Five years since he walked away from me. Five years I’ve worked hard to forget the man I once loved. Why the hell is he here now?

  He doesn’t care about me, if he did, he would have come back last year when my heart yearned for him to come and make everything better. That was a dream, one I didn’t tell anybody about.

  Why would I? Everyone in town knows what happened, most of it. My daddy kept most of what happened to me a secret, as much as he could from the press and the locals. Of course, not everything could be kept private, people saw me being wheeled out of the bakery looking like I was dead, and that’s what people around here still talk about.

  Enzo, Hudson’s big brother came to see me after the event, I made him swear on his mother’s grave not to call Hudson and tell him, even though he wanted to. He begged me, told me how he knew “Sonny” as everyone but me calls him, would want to be there for me. I didn’t want Hudson coming back here because he felt it his duty to do so. And as Hudson keeps in touch with hardly anyone here no one told him a thing.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what, Hudson? You left to work in a different country, to help people. It’s not a crime.”

  “Leaving you behind was the biggest mistake I ever made.”

  “Yet it took you five years to realize it,” I say matter-of-factly. “How long are you staying?”

  “I don’t know yet. It all depends.” I don’t really care what it depends on. I’m not interested. “Callie?”

  I turn slowly as he clasps my shoulder. I may not want him to see my face, but I can’t hide from him forever. He’s back in town and he’s bound to deliberately bump into me. And next time, it will be daylight, because I know him, he’ll walk into my bakery and come out back to talk to me. And I’d rather not have him ask me to remove my mask because I would if he asked. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself because when Hudson Ryker speaks, he compels me to listen. It’s always been that way with us. And I would hate to see the shock and disgust on his face. That would literally kill me with no way of coming back from it.

  Most people try not to look at me, not in the eye at least. Because, of course, there are times when people catch my eye. It makes people uncomfortable knowing what’s beneath the mask. But even that doesn’t stop them from talking about me. It also makes you realize who your real friends are.

  Tourists even stare at me like I’m some kind of monster. They can’t even see my scars yet they stare. I guess that’s one of the reasons why I stay in the back of my store and don’t stand up front anymore.

  I hate being stared at, but at least being stared at means people are looking at me. Not having the full attention of people you’ve known your whole life because of what happened, because they can’t bear to look at you, hurts like hell. And trust me, the people I’ve
known my whole life do a lot to avoid me where possible.

  As you might be able to tell, my whole mind is just one big contradiction of life. I wear a mask and hide away because I don’t want people to stare at me, yet when people do see me, I hate that they’re scared to look at me. Or maybe they’re just scared of me.

  This is why I want the plastic surgery so badly. At least then the scars won’t be so huge and noticeable. Yes, there will still be a small scar, it’s just too deep to fix completely. But I would rather walk around with my head held high and one smaller scar on my face than have to hang my head to hide the hell that resides there right now.

  Hudson isn’t looking at me like there’s anything wrong with my face. It’s like he hasn’t even noticed the mask, he’s just smiling at me, the same smile he gave me in preschool when he asked me out. He looks exactly the same as he did the last time I saw him. His dark hair is still long, his eyes are still dark, he still looks like he could do with a shave, all though his beard is close cut. He’s still packing muscle in all the right places. Yet I’m not attracted to him.

  And I’m now officially a big fat liar as well as delusional!

  Of course, I’m attracted to him, I always have been. Just because I’m mad at him for leaving and never contacting me again doesn’t change that. The ache in my body, the pull of his body, calling mine to his… It’s all still there.

  I won’t let him see that I still want him in that way. Even though I can feel my breath coming sharp and quick. The five-year ache inside of me for him has suddenly intensified to an all-time high. Only Hudson Ryker could make me feel like this. No other man ever has or will again.

  “You’re every bit as beautiful as you were when I left.”

  I wrap my arms around myself. It may be dark out, but he can see my face in the street lights. He can’t pretend he hasn’t seen what I know he has. He can see the mask covering my scars. I don’t want him to ask why I’m wearing it, and I don’t want him to say these things to me, I’m not the girl I once was. He doesn’t need to try and pretend I’m something I’m not.

  “I have to get home.”

  “You’re walking?”

  “Yes,” I nod. “And no, I don’t want you to walk with me.” I turn and walk away from him without another word.

  Seeing him again is too much for my heart to deal with right now. I don’t want to think about the past and all the ways in which he loved me. Nor do I wish to torture myself over the way he left me like I was nothing three weeks before our wedding day. All I want is to go home and curl up in bed with my dogs.

  Three

  Hudson

  “What’s up, brother?”

  “I saw Callie last night.”

  “Callie Harper?”

  “Yup. How many Callie’s live in this town?” He chuckles to himself. I take a swig of my bottled beer.

  My brother and I have been sitting in our local bar, Conelley’s, for the past two hours. It’s been so long since I’ve been here. Five long years and nothing about this town has really changed. My brother is still surrounded by women who want him to take them to bed. Nothing changes, he’s always been a ladies man.

  Having them notice me and the shocked looks on their faces, and then having them flirt with me isn’t something I need right now. Seeing Callie last night brought back all those memories of us in this town. All the things we used to get up when we should have been studying. All those secret meetings where we’d end up making love because we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other.

  I had no idea she’d still be here, she always told me she’d be gone by the time she was twenty-one. She wanted to travel Europe. I should have known she wouldn’t leave. I asked her to come with me to Paris, she turned me down and I left without her.

  She may have been looking out at the water last night. It may have been dark and only the street light lighting the way, but I knew it was her standing there. I felt the instant electric pull that’s always been there between us. That, and the smell of her shampoo and perfume, the same scents I’ve kept locked in my mind for the past five years hit me like a ton of bricks to the head.

  “I thought she’d have left this place by now.”

  “She never left. I am surprised you saw her out, though.”

  “Why’s that?” I ask curiously. Callie has always been independent. A wild chick who stole my heart from the very beginning.

  My brother looks at me curiously. “Are you being serious right now? Have you not seen her face?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Seriously, Sonny, did you actually look at her?”

  “Of course I looked at her. How could I not look at her?”

  “Was she wearing a mask on the left side of her face?”

  “No,” I snigger. Why the hell would she be wearing a mask?

  “She wasn’t?” I shake my head. “Wow. Then you must have seen the scars?”

  “Scars?” Now I really am confused. I didn’t see any scars.

  My brother rolls his eyes and takes a long draft of his beer. He breathes deeply, places his beer on the bar and turns to look at me. Am I missing something?

  “You seriously didn’t see the scars on her face?” I shake my head. “Are you blind? They’re more than just a little noticeable, Sonny.”

  Everyone calls me Sonny. Literally everyone, but Callie. I didn’t even know my name was actually Hudson until I was six. That’s when Callie took to calling me by my actual name, even though she has always refused to answer anyone who calls her by hers.

  “And I’m really fucking surprised you saw her out without her mask. No one’s seen her without it for months.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “No one’s really one hundred percent sure. The sheriff made sure the actual details of what happened that night were kept under wraps.”

  “Did she have an accident?” I ask curiously, rushed and annoyed. Annoyed that he doesn’t just get to the damn point.

  “She was attacked.”

  “When?”

  “Last year. It was brutal. Some guy who tried to kill a friend of hers. Emilee Braxton.”

  “I don’t know her.”

  “She moved here about three years or so ago. Callie and Emilee became best friends really fast. Took Emilee under her wing. She was running from some guy who had already attacked her once while she was pregnant.”

  Shit. That sounds brutal. Who in the hell attacks a pregnant woman?

  “The guy ended up finding Emilee here a couple years later and attacked her again. Callie protected her then, too. Anyway, from what we know, Callie took the full brunt of the guy’s anger while protecting Emilee, Della, and Lora” He shrugs, and I think my whole world just crumbled.

  It’s most definitely a Callie thing to do, protect someone and not care if she gets hurt as long as that other person is safe.

  But I can’t deny that it’s crushed me inside. Callie is mine. She has always been mine. I left her behind because I was fucking selfish. My mother had died and I couldn’t cope, I had to get away.

  I left her behind after saying the most awful things imaginable. I was grieving and I never should have gotten angry with the one woman who knew me inside and out.

  She begged me not to go, sobbed and screamed for me not to go. I told her that I didn’t love her anymore, that I was leaving this town without her and I’d never come back. I didn’t even give her the chance to respond, I walked away and didn’t look back.

  Although, I’d be a liar if I said I ever stop loving her, that I didn’t think about her every single day. I have loved her since I was four years of age, and I have thought about her every day since I’ve been gone.

  I would have come home sooner, I even called my brother a year after I left to tell him I was coming home. I needed Callie, I could no longer cope without her. We should have been married by then, we should have been well on the way to starting a family of our own, or at least talking about it.


  The reason I didn’t come home was because my brother told me Callie had moved on. She seemed happy. I didn’t want to get in the way of her happiness. I had no right when I was the one who walked away from her.

  But I realize now that I should have come home no matter how much it would have hurt to see her with another guy. I could have made things right between us, she would have been mine again and none of this would have happened. I would have protected her with my life. I should have protected her. It was my job to do so. I swore to her that I would always be there for her. And where was I? Traveling the fucking world!

  “Apparently, or so the gossip goes, the guy slashed, stabbed, shot, and raped Callie before leaving her for dead.”

  “No,” A ghost of whisper slips from my lips as I hang my head in my hands. The pulse is pounding in my temples hard and fast, and my gut is at my feet. Everything inside of me is throbbing in pain for her. And I’m fighting the need to vomit.

  “No one knows if any of that’s really true, Sonny. Although I was on call that day.” My brother is a firefighter and paramedic. Of course, he would have been called to the scene. “When they brought her out… My god, she was a complete mess. Her face was slashed up, her stomach. Tubes everywhere. I don’t know, bro, she was a mess.”

  “Why would anybody do that to her, Enzo?”

  “No one really knows. Like I said, it was something to do with Emilee’s past. Some guy who’d attacked her a couple of times before. Callie had already saved her life once.”

  My god, my poor gorgeous Callie.

  “Callie hasn’t really spoken to anyone since it happened. I went to the hospital a week after it happened. I asked her if she’d like me to call and tell you. I told her that I knew you’d come home. She told me that if I ever told you, she’d kill me. She made me swear on mom that I wouldn’t call you.”

  “What about her boyfriend?”

  “Boyfriend?” He laughs as if I’ve said something utterly stupid. “Callie hasn’t had a boyfriend in years. She’s had dates, but nothing serious. There was one guy she was dating for a while before it happened. John Rowley.”