This Guy Kills Me

by Anlyn Hansell

  “I’ll just wait in the car, how’s that? You go in, say goodbye. I’ll wait in the car,” Jane offered.

  The door opened and Betty stuck her head out.

  “She’s going to make you some goulash. Get your ass back in here,” she commanded.

  Goulash?

  “Come on.” He grabbed her arm and swung her in what she perceived as the wrong direction.

  “Wait. No. I thought you said…”

  “She’s making goulash,” he stated with boyish enthusiasm.

  “What’s a goulash? Who cares, I can’t go back in there, Pete…I mean Joe.”

  *****

  She could feel eyes on her back as she perused the wall of photos at least a half hour later. Joe had basically dumped her here explaining that he needed to change cars if they were going to stay for any length of time. She could tell he was waging an internal battle with himself, but apparently he came to the conclusion that it would be a better decision to leave her here rather than take her with him. Why? Who knew, he just stated the fact and walked out of the door before she could protest. A young female nurse appeared from the back of the house moments later and introduced herself before helping Karen to the kitchen. Jane had wandered to the living room to avoid the questions she knew would be forthcoming from Karen. Questions she wasn’t sure she would be able to answer. Betty had followed her closely, seating herself on one of the couches facing the wall of photos. Her stare was so completely uncomfortable, it prompted Jane to stand up and turn her back to her lest her mouth start running again.

  The house was filled with a spicy scent that was mouthwatering but certainly not appealing enough to make her forget that she was in an extremely awkward situation.

  Pictures of a younger, much thinner, healthier and happier Karen accompanied by two younger teenage boys, pictures of what she assumed were Betty and Karen years ago, an Army discharge certificate with Joseph Scott Peters’ name emblazoned on it. It was hard to determine where Pete slash Joe was in these pictures, if he was in them at all. The taller of the two boys was thin, disheveled and had a distinct acne problem. The smaller of the two boys was handsome, athletic and his smile was enthusiastic and carefree. The taller boy wasn’t smiling in any of the pictures. Oddly enough, some of the pictures looked as if they were deliberately cropped, evidenced by the fact that a foot or a hand would sometimes be shown near the edge of the frame. That was strange. As if someone had deliberately cut these pictures to remove someone. She would ask Joe about that later, she determined. She, of course, would not expect an answer, but she could at least try.

  “So how long have you known Joe?” she heard behind her.

  “A few weeks,” was her immediate answer. She kept her back turned and continued to look from picture to picture. Another one with a cropped person…

  “You don’t really work for him, do you?”

  Jane blew out an agitated sigh. “Yes, I do.”

  “What you do you do?”

  “Stuff. Is Pe… Joe in any of these pictures?” she asked, because for some reason she really wanted to know. It didn’t make any sense…

  “Like what kind of ‘stuff’?” she prodded.

  “Like paperwork and…stuff.” Obviously she wasn’t going to answer the question.

  “If you break his heart, I’ll pop a cap in your ass.”

  “Betty!” Karen exclaimed from the kitchen doorway.

  “Just keepin’ it real,” Betty muttered. The front door opened and closed with a squeak causing Jane to turn and lock eyes with…Joe.

  “I’m so sorry. She’s been hanging out at the Senior Center,” Karen stated blandly in Jane’s direction.

  “What about the Senior Center?” Joe asked as he dropped two duffle bags to the floor.

  “The kids from Juvie do their community service there. Betty’s vocabulary is quite colorful now.”

  “Why are you hanging out there? You’re in the best home money can buy. Why are you going there?”

  Betty remained silent with an innocent expression on her face; a small shrug lifted and dropped her shoulders.

  “Guess who else goes there?” Karen asked Joe. “Doris,” she stated before he had a chance to respond.

  “Doris? Betty! You need to leave her alone. I swear…”

  “Stuff it, Scooter. I’m eighty years old. I’ll go where I want, when I want,” she stated with finality.

  “You need to let it go.”

  “You need to stay out of it,” she huffed before crossing her arms in front of her chest.

  Jane’s head swiveled back and forth between the two before Karen’s voice grabbed her attention.

  “So, you’re staying? How long? Oh, Joe this is wonderful! I made salt bread.”

  Jane’s eyes fastened on the two duffle bags lying next to his feet. Oh noooo…

  *****

  Two times during dinner, his beeper went off, prompting him to wander into the front room. Both times, all eyes centered on Jane as she continued to stuff food into her mouth to avoid answering questions from Betty and Karen.

  “I wanna go to Bingo,” Betty proclaimed after Joe seated himself at the small table once again.

  “No.”

  “Yes. You’re going to take me.”

  “No. I have some…work to do tonight. Sorry.”

  Jane’s eyes caught and held his before they narrowed.

  “Well, then have girlie here take me.” She poked her spoon in Jane’s general direction.

  “No way,” Jane blurted.

  “Come on, make yourself useful. I wanna go. I need the money -”

  “I’ll give you all the money you could possibly want. No Bingo. Uh, uh -”

  “That’s not the same. I’m not a kept woman. I wanna go to Bingo.”

  “You can’t go. You got kicked out last time or don’t you remember?”

  “That was the Fire Hall. This one is different.”

  “No.”

  “Fine. Then I’ll call one of the kids from the Senior Center to come and pick me up. I hope they don’t stop at the Party Store and make me buy them alcohol. I hate when they do that, it’s really uncomfortable for me…” she rambled innocently.

  “I’ll take you back -”

  “Well, I hope I don’t have an episode. I don’t want to cause a scene or anything -”

  “You will not.”

  “I might. You just never know,” she stated simply.

  He blew out a breath, his scowl evidently having no effect on the small woman seated next to him.

  “Fine. Jane can take you.”

  “What?! No!” Jane erupted.

  “Sure, why not? It’s just Bingo. If it’s not at the Fire Hall it shouldn’t be an issue. Right, Betty?”

  “Yup.” She nodded enthusiastically.

  Jane pushed her chair back from the table and stood abruptly. “A word with you, please,” she grated out to Joe before practically stomping into the living room.

  She was waiting for him with arms crossed, her foot tapping irritably as he joined her a moment later.

  “There’s no way. I won’t do it!” she whispered fiercely as a smile began to tug his lips upward.

  “She’s a little old lady,” he whispered back.

  “She’s mean!”

  “She’s slightly bitter, I’ll give you that. She’s old, she can’t help it.” He shrugged.

  “Yes, she can. She’s rotten. I’m not doing this,” she hissed as her finger pointed toward the kitchen.

  “Fine, then you’ll come with me -”

  “To whack someone? Ewww. No,” she whispered fiercely.

  “Well then, which is it?”

  “I’ll just stay here, how’s that?”

  “No. I don’t want you alone with my Mother.”

  “What? What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that I can’t have any more of your crazy ass outbursts. I won’t be here to talk my way out of your weirdness and she won’t understand. It’s just bet
ter if you go with Betty. She already has a low opinion of you. Nothing you say will shock her. Trust me.”

  She shifted from one foot to the other and glared at him before a thought popped in her head. “I don’t have a car.”

  “You can borrow Mom’s.”

  “I don’t have my license.”

  He immediately dug into his pocket revealing a small wallet. He rooted through it for a few seconds before a small card appeared in his hand. “Here ya go.” He handed it to her as his eyes seemed to sparkle with humor.

  “This isn’t funny.”

  In an instant, the expression changed back to the more intense look she was familiar with.

  He immediately reached out and grasped her chin gently. His touch was so much lighter than the expression on his face or the words whispered from his mouth.

  “You harm one hair on her little gray head, Jane -”

  “I make no promises,” she whispered back.

  “I’m serious, Jane. You want to know if I trust you – I must if I’m letting you take her. I’m trusting you to keep her safe.” His stare was penetrating. His hand was still touching her chin, her jaw. His thumb just swept her skin lightly; her mouth opened but nothing came out, only a small gasp.

  “Ok?” he whispered gently.

  “Huh?”

  “Jane? Did you hear anything I just said?” Were his lips curving up again? He’s so handsome. He’s so close…

  She swallowed as the magnetic pull just sort of happened. Her gaze shifted down to his lips before traveling back up to his eyes.

  The heat was unmistakable as his hand slowly moved from her jaw, swept the side of her face and threaded into her hair. Was he pulling her toward him?

  Yes. Yes. Yes.

  Wait. Why?

  I don’t know, just go with it. This is going to be so good…

  “What’s the verdict? We going or what?” Betty’s voice rang out in the small room.

  Well, that certainly broke the mood. They stepped back, both sets of eyes changed from somewhat hazy to alert in the space of a millisecond.

  “She’ll take you,” he stated as they continued to look at each other.

  “Great,” Betty stated with obvious glee before adding, “I saw that, by the way.”

  Jane shot a glare toward the doorway but she was already gone.

  *****

  “This is a Fire Hall,” Jane stated as she removed herself from the minivan and looked up to the large building situated at the end of a full parking lot.

  “So what? Come on, hurry up.”

  “You lied,” Jane grated out as she jogged to keep up with Betty who was ambling between the parked cars toward the front doors. Amazing how fast an eighty-year old could be when she was determined.

  “I said it was different. I didn’t say it wasn’t a Fire Hall,” she shot back as she reached the double doors and gave a tug.

  She situated herself behind two other white haired ladies as they paid and received multiple Bingo cards from the two men seated behind the table.

  One looked up as Betty stepped in front of the table and thrust a wad of money toward him. “I’ll take twenty.”

  “Uh, uh.” His handsome face was stupefied as he shook his head and nudged the man next to him. They were both shaking their heads, Jane noticed.

  “Come on, my money’s just as good as the rest of em’. Give me twenty cards.”

  “No way, Betty.” They honestly looked nervous.

  “Come on, girlie here will watch me, I promise I’ll be good.”

  Both men looked at Jane. Both sets of eyes widened then took on a cast of a more appreciative nature.

  “Hi.” Jane gave a nervous wave as they both stood up.

  “Hey,” one cleared his throat and jutted his muscular arm out, hand extended toward her. “I’m Tim.”

  “I’m Jason,” the other guy chimed in as he offered his hand also. They were both extremely nice looking, young and athletic. Both sported T-shirts emblazoned with the Firehouse logo. Two hot firemen vying for handshakes….

  How cool was that? Don’t look at them.

  “And you are?”

  “Jane,” she stated simply, staring at Jason’s chin as she shook his hand.

  “Nice to meet you, Jane.” He was probably smiling, she wouldn’t find out.

  “Twenty cards please. Don’t drool on them,” Betty sarcastically stated next to her.

  “You need to behave tonight. Can you handle that?” Jason asked as he grabbed a stack of cards.

  “It’s my dementia. I can’t help it.”

  “You don’t have dementia,” Jason stated. “You’re just mean,” Tim added. For some reason, there seemed to be a hint of amusement in his voice.

  “Whatever. I’ll be good. You’ll see.”

  “Right,” Tim stated on a sigh before he pointed to the far side of the building.

  “You sit on that side, all the way over, do you hear me?”

  “Sure thing. Now, can I have twenty cards or what?”

  “Twenty cards. That’s twenty bucks for the cards and five to get in. She’s free.” Jason nodded his head toward Jane and gave a quick wink in her direction. Her eyes immediately shifted to the side.

  “No problem.” Betty thrust the money at Tim and collected the cards from Jason before stepping toward the double doors. The din of multiple voices coming from beyond the doors intensified in decibels as she swept one open, assaulting Jane’s ears immediately and causing her apprehension to increase drastically.

  Hundreds of people. Hundreds of little old ladies mostly seated in row upon row of tables. It was so loud, so…full.

  I can’t do this. I can’t do this…

  Jane’s feet stopped abruptly as the full force of sound and the sheer amount of bodies made her freeze up and stare at the scene in front of her.

  There’s no way…

  Betty walked in front of her, toward the wrong side of the building.

  “Betty? Other side,” Tim stated from behind Jane causing the older woman to turn with a huff of displeasure and begin her trek in the direction of his outstretched arm.

  “Fine. Come on,” she stated to Jane as she wandered by her. Jane stood immobilized, her eyes still scanning the room. How bad could it be? They’re old ladies. It’s Bingo for chrissakes. Get a grip, it’s OK…

  “Jane?” she assumed it was either Jason or Tim speaking softly to her.

  “She has trouble walking,” Betty supplied for her before grabbing her arm and giving a small tug breaking Jane from her catatonic state.

  “There’s Delphine. We’ll sit with her.”

  “No trouble, Betty,” Tim admonished from behind them as Betty continued to tug Jane along the outer aisle into the throng of bodies. She couldn’t quite make out the words that Betty grumbled in response.

  They finally stopped at one table in particular with four open seats.

  “We’ll sit here. Hello Del.” She plunked her rear down on one of the folding chairs and immediately began spreading out her cards, much the same as every other patron in the room.

  Del was a small woman, probably the same age or close to Betty’s. A distinct air of nervousness radiated from her.

  I’d be nervous too, honey. Jane thought as she looked from Del to Betty’s cards. Betty was rooting through her purse and produced two thin plastic bottles before placing them on the table.

  “Sit down, girlie. They’re about to start.”

  Jane took another nervous glance around before pulling a seat out.

  “So, who is this?” Del asked smiling sweetly at Jane.

  “This is Jane. My grandson’s girlfriend.”

  “Coworker,” Jane corrected.

  “Yeah, I saw you coworkin’ it in the Living Room. You don’t fool me. Here. Take this,” she thrust one of the small bottles in Jane’s line of vision.

  She grabbed it and shot a glare and a tightlipped grimace in Betty’s general direction to which the older woman ignored as she lo
oked around the room.

  “Doris here?” Betty asked absently.

  “Yeah, other side of the room. Please don’t start anything Betty – you remember last time,” her sweet voice turned to an urgent whisper.

  “Hey, I only spoke the truth. She’s had it coming. You of all people know that.”

  A voice boomed over the loud speaker followed by a high pitched squeal which apparently did not set too well with the general population of the room. Some held their ears, most just complained loudly before the sound disappeared.

  “All right – you have half, I have half. They call out the number and letter and you put a dot on the card. Think you can handle that?”

  Jane’s eyes took in the sheer amount of numbers on the cards. Two rows of 5 cards were laid out in front of her. She eyed them warily.

  “B2.”

  Suddenly everyone in the room was searching, dabbing, searching some more. Jane’s eyes frantically perused the cards, looking for a 2 before her hand immediately flipped the bottle and began dabbing at the first 2 she could find.

  “Oh my god, you are mentally challenged,” she heard murmured next to her as her hand was swept away and Betty’s arm appeared in her sights. She dabbed ink on two of the cards quickly before yanking the bottle out of Jane’s hand.

  “First of all, you have to take the cap off, see?” She quickly popped the cap off and thrust the bottle in Jane’s face. “Second, you were dabbing G2. G is the curved letter and B has two humps in it, see?” She was pointing at the card and her head was tilted to the side. Her expression showed her frustration.

  “Just -” Jane began through clenched teeth before the voice rang out over the loud speaker once again.

  “O10.”

  “O10 – got it? It’s a circle,” Betty just had to throw out.

  “Why don’t you -”

  “There – last card first row. Dab,” Betty commanded.

  “Why don’t you just do this yourself?” Jane mumbled as she dabbed perhaps a bit too hard.

  “O18.”

  “Because we’re starting out slow. Next round we’re getting forty cards. I can’t do forty by myself.”

  Forty cards? No one had that many cards, at least from what she viewed as she walked in.

  “Holy crap.”