This Guy Kills Me

by Anlyn Hansell

  “I was at a party, junior year in High School; I’d had a few drinks. Jeremy was my boyfriend at the time. We went out to his car, I gave him a hummer and he went back in and told everyone at the party,” she stated in a rush, her eyes firmly attached to the swirling pattern of plaster on the ceiling above the bed.

  “Ouch. Did you dump him?”

  “Of course I dumped him. And hence, the two-month rule was born.”

  “Ah yes, the dreaded two-month rule. Can I ask you a question?”

  “What?”

  “Does anyone ever make it past two months with you?”

  Her eyes shot to his. “Do you really want to know?”

  “Yes. I really want to know.”

  “Why?”

  “Why, what?”

  “Why do you want to know? I mean, would it change things if you found out I was a total ho?”

  “I have a feeling you are not a ‘total ho’, as you put it. How many?”

  “I’m not a virgin, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Her stomach was coiling in knots as warmth spread from her core to all points south.

  “That’s not…how many?”

  “I don’t see where this has anything to do with this situation -”

  “Jane?” One eyebrow shot up in irritation.

  “Two,” she squeaked out.

  “Two? That’s it?”

  She grabbed the pillow from beneath her head and slammed it over her face. Her cheeks were practically flaming yet again.

  “What are you embarrassed about?” she could hear right before the pillow was yanked away again. “Two’s OK. It’s more than one and less than three.”

  “Wow. A poet and a mathematician…stop laughing at me.”

  “I’m not laughing,” he replied with a smirk that was just begging to turn into a laugh at any second.

  Digital bleating filled the room beyond with sound that caused both sets of eyes to flit toward door.

  “Duty calls,” she whispered with widened eyes.

  “That’s not my beeper,” he stated as his eyes slowly turned to hers.

  “That’s yours.”

  *****

  “Would you please stop looking at me like that?” she stated from her perch on the couch later that morning.

  “I’m not looking at you.” He wasn’t, well not at that particular moment in time. He was concentrating instead on hooking up a small prepaid phone into his computer before he started typing something.

  Ever since the beeper went off, he was all motion, no feeling – so different from their earlier conversation. When he did look in her direction, it was usually to shoot a scowl her way or a narrow eyed stare. She didn’t need to ask why. Obviously the only person with that beeper number was Rick. She hadn’t talked to him in months but for some reason, a number appeared on the screen, a 313 area code – possibly Detroit or maybe a southern suburb.

  “I think I’m ready,” he muttered, staring at the phone’s display and comparing it to his computer screen.

  “Come here,” he ordered without looking at her. She immediately popped off the couch and wandered over to him. “Sit down.” She sat at the table and faced him.

  “So, here’s what you do. First, you need to keep him on the phone while I try and trace where he’s calling from. If he’s using a land line it should only take about a minute. If he’s using a cell phone, it’ll take about double that or maybe even three minutes. Just keep him on the line, don’t piss him off, don’t ask too many questions and definitely don’t let on that you know anything about anything. Can you do that? Oh, tell him you want to meet up, see if you can arrange something.”

  “He’s not going to want to meet up with me. I assure you.”

  “Maybe he’ll want you to make a delivery? That would be perfect. Say yes, whatever he asks, just say yes.”

  “Ok.”

  “All right.” He was punching digits into the phone. “Ready?” he asked as his narrowed eyes gazed up at her.

  “I guess so,” she blew out nervously.

  He was pressing the buttons on the phone, the beeping sound practically blaring in the room, bouncing off the walls and causing her nerves to jump with each digit he pressed. Finally, a ring tone sounded, causing her breath to quicken and sweat to begin dotting her brow.

  The tone stopped abruptly after the third ring before a pause.

  “Jane.” Rick’s voice came through loud and clear and from his tone, he certainly didn’t seem too happy to be speaking to her.

  “Hey, ah…Hi Rick! You beeped me.”

  “No shit. What have you been up to, Jane?” His question wasn’t sincere; she could tell right away.

  She looked up at Joe before looking back at the phone held in front of her.

  “Ah, you know…nothing much. What have you been up to?” she replied, trying to keep a jovial tone to her voice.

  “I don’t want to make small talk, Jane. Let me get to the point. Have you been asking around about me?”

  “Who? Me? Ahh…well, yes. Kind of?” She shrugged; her eyes wide at Joe who gave her a slight eye roll and a reluctant nod.

  “Why?”

  “Mmmmaybe I miss you?” she asked, completely frazzled at this point. Joe was shaking his head at her with a strange grimace on his face.

  ‘Yeah right, you miss me,” he stated blandly. “Why are you really asking about me and don’t lie.”

  “Who told you I was looking for you?”

  She wondered which of the many people she had encountered the past few weeks had told him, or maybe multiple people. Of course, someone would probably mention it; it’s not as if their encounters weren’t memorable.

  Hard not to remember tossing someone out of your place of business…

  “Doesn’t matter. Why are you looking for me?” his hardened voice asked again.

  “Ah…” She glanced up at Joe as her brain struggled for words. He gave a nod toward the phone. “You…ah…owe me money? Yeah! You never paid me for the last delivery…and I…can’t pay my rent…” Her face scrunched up at the phone, waiting for his reply.

  “Really? Are you that much of an idiot? Wait. Yes, you are. You took it to the wrong place, asshole, why would I pay you for that?”

  Her lips clamped shut as she thought desperately for a response. That stung a little; even coming from Rick…it still sort of stung…

  Joe waved his hand in front of her face, flicking his wrist, trying to prompt something out of her apparently.

  “Jane?”

  She finally opened her mouth and let out her breath. “Yeah. I see your point. So…can I have another chance? I won’t screw up this time, I swear.”

  “What? Are you nuts? Don’t answer that. There is no way -”

  “Oh, come on, I’ll be really good this time. I tried to tell you, I was getting mugged at the time; it was hard to hear what you were saying. I tried to tell you but you were yelling at me the last time we talked. Can’t you just give me another chance? I really need the money, Rick!” her voice was whiny, she actually sounded desperate.

  “No.”

  “Well…can we meet up…or something? I really do kind of miss you,” she stated before biting her lip nervously.

  “Jane, listen up. You are a complete lunatic. I don’t want to see you, I have a girlfriend and she is normal, unlike yourself. I want you to stop asking around about me. You will never work for me again and you are not getting paid for your fucked up delivery. I have no idea why you would even miss me. You never even let me in your pants and you have less sexual appeal then a dead salmon. I never want to see you again. Period.”

  Her eyes widened slightly before the backs of them started to burn. That was just mean.

  Joe was typing something and checking the screen as a satellite image with what appeared to be a map overlay began to zoom in, turning a couple of times before he looked up at her. Her silence must have bothered him since he was motioning his hand in front of his mouth, prompting her to speak.
<
br />   “Ah…” Well, what did you say to that?

  “Umm…Ok, so you, ah…don’t want to meet up?” she blurted before slapping her head in her hands and shaking it from side to side.

  “No. What are you, a crack head? Geez. How can you be so hot and such a complete waste of space? I’m not spending any more time on you. Stop asking around, leave me alone. If you continue this even though I told you not to? You’re gonna regret it, Jane,” he spit out.

  “What are you going to do?” she asked as her head popped up. A small glowing, pulsating red dot was on Joe’s screen. It was getting larger and larger as the image continued to zoom in and rotate. He was giving her a thumbs up sign.

  “Leave me alone and you won’t find out. Goodbye, Jane.” The call ended with an abrupt click and her eyes immediately snapped to Joe’s for a split second before he was in motion.

  “He’s in Detroit. Oakland Avenue and Arden Park. Come on.”

  He was grabbing the computer, placing it in a black bag and motioning her to follow him as he walked briskly toward the front door of the suite.

  *****

  “It’s still there.” Sniff.

  She watched the red, pulsating dot on the computer screen situated on her lap as he drove like a maniac.

  “Do you have allergies or something?”

  Sniff.

  “No. Yes? Yes, I do,” she amended quickly. Her eyes were becoming watery.

  Sniff.

  “No, you don’t. Are you crying? Look at me.”

  “No.”

  “You are crying. Why are you crying?”

  “Because…I don’t know. He was just…that was so mean. No one likes to hear that they’re a loser, Joe. Especially from a jerk-off like Rick…” she muttered before swiping a tear from her cheek.

  “Technically, he didn’t call you a loser,” he stated evenly.

  “No. Just an asshole…and an idiot, Oh! Crack head…lunatic,” she mumbled. “Did I miss anything?” She stared at the screen. The dot still wasn’t moving.

  “Waste of space, dead salmon,” he supplied before she shot him a watery glare.

  His lips were curving up. She turned her attention back to the screen. “This isn’t funny.”

  “Jane, Rick is a loser. You are not a loser. When a loser calls you a loser -”

  “You’re like a HUGE loser,” she interrupted him. He blew out a breath.

  “I cannot believe that you’re crying over what he said. Jane, listen to me. He’s a bad person. Opinions from bad people don’t count. I don’t think you’re a loser. I think you are one of the coolest people I have ever met,” he stated with his eyes still focused ahead. Just that little sentence made her stomach perform a flip-flop.

  “And furthermore, I think if you feed into what people say, your self-confidence is just shot. Whose opinion matters, Jane?” he asked.

  “Umm…I don’t know…yours?” she asked feebly.

  “No! Not mine, not anyone else’s. Just yours. If you like you, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.”

  “Is this coming from your self-help books?” she asked quietly as she swiped another tear from her cheek.

  “Damn straight. Maybe we should make a trip to the cabin, grab a couple for you to read. Holy hell, woman. You’re too sensitive.”

  “I can’t help it.”

  “Try,” was his only response for a few moments. “How are we doing? Did it move?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “The dot. Focus.”

  “Oh, ahh…nope. Still there.” She swiped the last tear as she concentrated on the screen in front of her.

  “Hmmm. I have a bad feeling about this,” was his only reply.

  *****

  “Damn. Damn it. Oh, I hate this squirrel,” he bit out. They were parked near an abandoned field situated a few blocks from her apartment in Hamtramck.

  “That sucks,” she muttered, staring at the field and back at the laptop monitor.

  “That does suck,” he agreed.

  “Are we going to get it?”

  “No. I might come back for it later, not in daylight. I don’t know if anyone’s watching. It could be a trap for all I know,” he breathed out.

  “Let’s go check your apartment. He was awful close. Maybe he -”

  “I probably don’t have an apartment anymore, Joe,” she interrupted. “My shit’s probably in a dumpster, or maybe they tossed it in the alley. I highly doubt my stuff is still there,” she stated. “I kind of haven’t paid my rent in a…few months,” she added in a soft tone.

  “We’ll see, come on.”

  “Fine. But I’m staying in the car. If Brenda sees me, I’m toast.”

  “No problem,” he stated as he pulled onto the street.

  Chapter 13

  “This is yummy.”

  “No kidding. Could you chew a couple more times? Why even bother with the silverware? Just pick it up and shove it in.” He was leaning his elbow on the white linen table across from her, his chin cradled in his palm as he watched her. He was grinning, she noticed as the firelight from the candle on the table flickered in his dark eyes.

  “Can’t help it. This is the best steak I have ever had,” she replied honestly. She did, however, place her knife and fork on the plate before taking a sip of the red wine in her glass.

  The hotel restaurant was gorgeous and the prices on the menus were outrageous, but damn, the food was good.

  “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” He hadn’t even touched his food. In fact, he spent most of the time staring at her. It was like he wanted to say something, but nothing was coming out of his mouth. She had concentrated on her food instead. She placed the delicate wine glass back on the table and regarded him closely. He was sporting a crisp white shirt and a dark sport coat. Dangerously sexy. If she could describe him at that moment, that would be it.

  “Why don’t you shave?” she blurted. “I mean, not that the stubble is bad or anything, it’s kind of cool…but…so why don’t you?”

  “Because my face is like a topographical map,” he answered with a shrug, still staring at her.

  “No it’s not,” she responded.

  “How would you know? You’ve never seen it.”

  “I’d like to see it. I bet it’s not as bad as you think it is,” she answered softly.

  “Why are we talking about my stubble? Can’t you just strap on the feedbag again and go to town? Don’t worry about my face.”

  “I’m not worried about your face. I’m worried about your psyche.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with my psyche. Worry about your own psyche,” he responded coolly.

  “Just trying to help. Maybe you should take your own advice and not worry about other people’s opinions. Just sayin’…”

  “Maybe you should mind your own beeswax and get back to stuffing your face. Just sayin’.”

  “Touché, asswipe.” She held her glass up and he immediately clinked it with his own, an amused expression playing on his features. She took a sip and placed the glass back down.

  “So, are we going to Mr. Sherman’s place tonight? What’s his first name, anyway?”

  “Dale. And no, we’re not going, I’m going. You can stay here. Titanic is on tonight. Again.”

  “But -”

  “No buts. I have some other things to do tonight.”

  “Like what?”

  His answer was a raised eyebrow.

  “Fine. That’s Ok. It’s probably what I think it is, anyway. Although, now that you have ruined Titanic for me…” She gave a small shake of her head before grabbing her fork once again. It was so hard to believe that the man seated across from her did what he did for a living. He seemed so…what? Kind? Well-balanced? It was the strangest thing.

  “So, I can’t believe my stuff is still there, huh?” she asked lightly as she began to cut through the steak once again.

  She was beautiful in any light, no doubt, but candlelight? Unbelievable. He couldn’t take his e
yes off of her. She was devouring her food, talking, chewing, sipping, pointing her fork at him every once in a while to make a point. The light flickered and reflected off her enchanting eyes, the shiny strands of her hair were illuminated like a frame around her perfect face. She was saying something again. What did she say?

  “Huh?”

  “I said, I can’t believe my crap is still in the apartment. I thought for sure I would’ve been booted out by now.”

  “How long has it been since you paid your rent?”

  “A while.”

  “How long is a while?” he murmured.

  “3 months. How’s my car? Was it still there?”

  “Well, yes and no.” He thought of the small rusted out vehicle in the back of the lot behind her apartment. It was old, probably an import, who knew? The plate on the front of the grill was missing. As well as a few other things…

  “What’s yes and no?”

  “Well, technically you shouldn’t be driving it anyway. It hasn’t been inspected in two years, you have no insurance and it’s not registered.”

  “Yeah, Ok. What’s yes and no?” She disregarded his statement.

  “Yes, it’s there. But no, you can’t drive it.”

  “Oooohhhkay…?”

  “Someone stole your rims,” he stated.

  “On that piece of shit?” she practically gasped with a look of utter disbelief on her face.

  “Yes ma’am.”

  “Damn. I need to move. I need a job. I’m going to call Ron. This is ridiculous. Actually no, I probably can’t call Ron, he’s probably already figured out that ‘Clean Team’ doesn’t exist. I’ll just call another cleaning service, there’s probably a ton of them out there. I should be able to find something,” she rambled before looking up.

  “Wait. Are you or are you not going to kill me?”

  “Jane! Shhh…what are you, just…shhh.” He was looking around at the other tables quickly before he fixed her with a scowl.

  “I mean, we’re kind of…friends, right? Or maybe we aren’t. I don’t know. But when we first met, you were planning on it, right? Are you still…you know…planning on it?” she whispered with widened eyes. Would he?