This Guy Kills Me

by Anlyn Hansell

  He continued walking toward the front door, his mid swirling.

  She was so responsive. Her body, those little sounds she made; the gasps. She breathed out his name. His name. As if she wanted him. No one else. Just him. That was…unexpected, but the timing sucked. And…technically the whole situation sucked. It put a strange twist to his plans, an unforeseen glitch and it couldn’t happen. They couldn’t happen.

  Stick with the program. Keep walking, she’d be better off…or would she?

  Detach.

  *****

  Apprehension seemed to escalate the closer he drove to a very familiar place. They were just here yesterday, but this time, he was pulling up in front of the apartment building, not a block away.

  “You’re taking me home?” her voice sounded so small to her own ears as panic seemed to settle in and swallow her whole.

  It was the first thing that either of them said the entire trip from Farmington Hills.

  “Yeah. It’s time, right? We’ve hit every place we could; I’ve got to get mom to the hospital.” His words were barely audible, he was mumbling, refusing to look at her. How incredibly awkward. To think only a month ago she was plotting escape from him and now, well now she found herself not wanting to let go. Why was that?

  “Sure. Ok, umm. Hmm. I ah…don’t know…” She looked out the passenger side window to the old brick building to the side of them.

  “I took care of your Landlord, it’s Ok,” she heard behind her as she eyed the building with a forlorn expression on her face.

  “You did? You didn’t have to -”

  “Yes, I did. Come on,” he stated as his door opened and he stepped out into the brisk air.

  This is for the best. She’d be Ok; he made sure of it…

  She’ll be Ok. He repeated in his head as he opened the rear door and pulled out two bags. She still hadn’t opened the door, he noticed as he slammed the door shut and walked around the back of the vehicle. Popping the trunk, he eyed the pink blow up mattress he placed back there for her and a smile threatened to form on his face before he controlled it. Digging around the side, he pulled out her purse containing her keys and a few extras he placed in there before slamming the trunk shut.

  She was standing outside, the wind picking up and swirling some of the silky strands of her hair around her as she looked at the building and then to him. His eyes immediately diverted to the side as he walked to her. He looped one bag, then the other over her shoulder in complete silence and handed her the small purse before fishing something out of his pocket.

  “Here.” He was holding out a small black object, it was flat with a screen, similar to the cell phone he used.

  “What’s that?” she asked automatically, knowing full well what it was.

  “It’s yours. It’s a smart phone. Take it.”

  “I can’t take that. You can’t…I can’t afford that.” She was shaking her head, her eyes glued to the phone.

  “Yes you can. The bill comes to me, so no worries. Here.”

  “I can’t accept that. It’s the principle of the thing. It’s just…it’s not right. You shouldn’t do that -”

  “Jane? I need a way to get in touch with you. Take the damn phone before you piss me off.” He placed it in the side pocket of her coat.

  He wanted to stay in touch? That was unexpected. That was actually kind of…nice. Too bad he felt he had to do that for her since her life was so woefully pathetic she couldn’t afford it on her own.

  “Well, thanks…I guess.” He wanted to stay in touch…

  “Right. Well, you better get in. It’s cold out here. I need to get going,” he stated quickly; his eyes still refusing to meet hers.

  “Right. Yeah…” She turned after a moment, when it was evident he had nothing more to say.

  A few steps and his words halted her.

  “Jane? Thanks…for…everything,” he stated softly.

  Don’t turn around. Don’t let him see the tears forming in your eyes. Just nod and keep walking.

  “No. Thank you, Joe,” she stated on a shaky breath. “That was the best time of my life,” she added so quietly, he couldn’t have possibly heard it, but it was true.

  She walked toward the front door as warm tears spilled down her icy cheeks.

  *****

  That was the best time of her life. She said that. He continued to stare at the front door long after she had walked through and closed it. It felt so wrong, leaving her there. Especially after that kiss. What was she thinking? And why did it even matter to him?

  She would be Ok. Maybe someday, when everything was settled…

  Don’t go there. Just focus.

  *****

  She pushed the door open, flipping on the lights in the process, her eyes adjusting immediately as a soft gasp escaped her throat. There in front of her, on the opposite side of the room was quite possibly the sweetest, most wonderful thing anyone had ever thought to give her. Gone was the pile of comforters on the floor, replaced by what had to be at least a queen sized bed. A real bed with pillows that matched a comforter – make that a big fluffy looking comforter. Her tears ceased for a moment as a smile overtook her previously glum features. Dropping the bags on the floor, she kicked the door shut behind her and immediately walked toward the bed as if pulled by some invisible string. It was magnificent.

  The tears started fresh again. Staring at the thoughtful gift in front of her, she realized: He planned on that. Of course he did. What did she expect? It was a temporary thing, helping him. It wasn’t permanent.

  Dumped again. Dumped by a guy that I wasn’t even dating…

  Well, at least she had a nice, comfortable place to curl up and perform a self-pitying ugly cry…

  Chapter 14

  “Now, we wait. We have to make sure her body doesn’t reject it,” the doctor stated from the seat next to him.

  “How long? How long does that take?”

  “It really depends on the person. I can’t give you a good answer on that, Joe.”

  “When can we see her?” Betty piped up from the chair next to Joe.

  “Maybe tomorrow night? It’s just too soon to tell, she’s in recovery now and she won’t be responsive for another 8 hours. After that, we need to monitor. I’ll have a nurse call you, does that sound fair?”

  Joe gave a nod.

  “But I want to see her,” Betty grumbled unhappily.

  “It’s all right, we understand. Come on, Betty.”

  “No. What if something happens, what if…?” Her eyes were filling with tears. “I just want to hold her hand; I want to give my baby a kiss, I want to be with her. She needs her mom. What am I gonna do without her? How can they be so goddamn cruel?” she whispered shakily.

  “She’s in a sterile environment, Betty. Trust them to do what’s right, Ok?” He squeezed her hand gently. “Besides, I’ll take you out to dinner, would you like that?”

  “Maybe,” she sniffed. “I still don’t like this -”

  “Me either, but it’s for the best. Scott called, we can meet up with him if you’d like.” He grabbed a tissue from the table next to him and handed it to her.

  “Fine. Can we stop at the store and get some scratch-offs?” she added as she dabbed her eyes.

  “As many as you want.” He smiled warmly.

  “Where’s Jane? Are we going to take her to dinner too?”

  Something resembling a lightning bolt zinged up his spine at the mention of her name.

  “No, Betty.”

  “Why not? I want to see her. Where is she?” She was now fixing him with a suspicious look.

  “She’s at her apartment,” he stated simply.

  “In Detroit? Do you know where that girl lives? Hamtramck. All alone. Is she crazy? You need to marry that girl and move her somewhere safe. Do you hear me?”

  “It…it’s not that kind of relationship, Betty. Can we go? And like…not talk about this anymore?” He stood up, his hand still clasping hers.

  �
�We need to talk about this. I want to see you happy and settled and I wouldn’t mind a few more great-grandbabies. Do you know how happy Karen would be? Think about it.”

  I can’t think about it.

  “Sure. Ok, let’s drop it, now. So, where would you like to go?”

  “Jane’s apartment.”

  UGH…

  *****

  The bed wasn’t the only thing he supplied her with. The fridge was full; the cabinets were full – of healthy food, of course. Some kind of fancy shampoo and conditioner in her shower, a dresser full of non-Thrift Store clearance rack clothing. Jeans and tops, socks, underwear, pajamas, a nice warm jacket, shoes…

  It was very sweet. He was very sweet. She must have checked her phone how many times… No calls, no texts. It was only a day anyway. Should I call him? How needy would that look?

  She hadn’t seen him in 24 hours and already she felt like a junkie going through withdrawal. She picked up the phone once again, clicking on the Internet App he programmed in, searching for something specific. Her eyes lit on the text displayed in front of her and she immediately ran to the junk drawer to grab paper and a pen.

  *****

  She should have a TV.

  Why he didn’t think of that before, he had no idea.

  She likes TV.

  She might get bored, well actually…she was on her way to an interview. How did he know that? Because her place was bugged to the hilt, her phone was actually programmed as a GPS device and her shoes…that was rather brilliant, if he did say so himself. Every precaution was taken. She’d kill him if she knew. Every few minutes, he found himself checking on her. Waiting, watching…would it even pan out? And why did he feel so damn guilty about this?

  *****

  Something made a sound from inside her purse as she pulled into the parking lot. A small ping that sounded over the music playing softly in the background. She swung her small vehicle into a space and parked it before opening and rooting through her purse. Her small vehicle with brand new tires and a recent inspection sticker to boot… How he did that, she would never know.

  That wasn’t all. Her purse…he stuffed the side pocket full of bills further cementing the fact that she was indeed, a major charity case. If she didn’t need it so badly, she might have felt some sort of righteous indignation, but instead, seeing that life itself was so bleak – she’d take it for what it was worth: A kind gesture from an infuriating benefactor. An infuriating benefactor that just texted her…

  Best part? He programmed his number in the phone, under the contact name of “Doofus”. How funny was that? ‘Message from Doofus’ was illuminated on the device. A small spurt of a laugh erupted from her lips as she swept her finger across the screen.

  Doofus:

  Everything OK? Just checking in. Mom’s out of surgery.

  Looks like everything went well, but too soon to tell.

  Well, that was nice. He was checking up on her. Her stomach fluttered just a bit even though she mentally commanded it to stop and act normal. Apparently stomachs don’t listen. She stared at the screen, at a complete loss for this technology. Her last phone was in college, a flip phone with no crazy touch screen. This should be easy…there was a box at the bottom of the screen with a cursor, if she touched it…

  A keyboard appeared. This was so crazy cool…

  Jane:

  Everything is OK thanks for the cloths

  and shoes bed food trees everything

  You didn’t have to do that

  I have an intervention right now

  Send.

  Wait. What?

  She read the text she just sent back, a look of complete confusion on her face. Her finger pressed the cursor again.

  Jane:

  Not trees tires and I have an interview

  what is wrong with this thong

  Send.

  Agh! Seriously? Thong? Her finger was about to press the cursor again but a message popped up on her screen instead.

  Doofus:

  It’s called autocorrect. Just turn it off.

  No – don’t. This is funny.

  Good luck with your interview.

  It’s not at Bubble Butts, is it? :)

  Jane:

  Yes it is how did you now

  Just kindling where do you get

  the smiley farce thingy that is

  so cool I have to go don’t want

  to be latte

  Doofus:

  Don’t look them in the eye…

  Jane:

  I know I’ll test you when I done

  What the nevermind got to go buy

  One last stare at the screen before she pressed the button and dropped it into her purse. Angling the rearview mirror, she checked her face and hair, not missing the goofy grin on her lips.

  *****

  She got the job.

  Good. No, that was great. The fact that she was so excited, or ‘exited’ (as her text stated); to make twelve bucks an hour cleaning offices at night, was extremely cute. The fact that she insisted she pay him back for everything with her first few paychecks was not.

  Little did she know how much that stuff actually cost. Maybe the first 10 paychecks would cover it. Especially the TV he had delivered to her apartment today. She wasn’t home yet. He knew that because the screen on his computer told him so. She was at Walmart. Once she arrived home, he fully expected a text of some sort, and it probably wouldn’t be a funny one. The cable guy was already there and gone, the bill paid – amazing how fast you could get service with a little extra money thrown in.

  Whatever. She didn’t need to know.

  The digital tone coming from his desk caused his eyes to snap from his computer screen to his beeper in irritation. Time to get down to business, unfortunately.

  *****

  It’s a fact that the name ‘Jane’ is the third most popular female name used in songs.

  After sitting in his car for three hours, a week later, listening to various stations, waiting for his mark to stumble out of the crack house he was visiting; it became evident that karma sucked or the Universe was completely messing with his head.

  ‘Jane Says’, ‘Jane’, ‘The Diary of Jane’, ‘Sweet Jane’, ‘Janie’s Got a Gun’. What were the odds? And not just once a day, several times a day. He would change the station or press the button to shut the radio off entirely each time. Not that he cared, but every once in a while, he would throw out a random text and she would respond. He was only trying to keep tabs on her. It didn’t mean anything. Except days two through five. Apparently she was pissed about the TV. She got over it. After three days, that is. She could certainly hold a grudge…

  Days were spent at the hospital; nights went on just as before, the money racking up as the hospital bills would surely start rearing their very expensive, ugly, but necessary little heads. Of course, the money was there. It had been there for so long but a little extra certainly wouldn’t hurt; especially since he was seriously considering the future for the first time in a really long time.

  Dewayne Harris was walking down the steps slowly, making his way toward the black Cadillac a couple doors down. All thoughts ceased, replaced by extreme concentration as Joe watched the man open the car door. After a moment, the red tail lights of the vehicle shone in the distance before he pulled away. Following suit, Joe pulled his own car from the spot down the street and tailed him.

  He was about to do something he had never done before. He had to, because he simply did not know.

  *****

  “I have a question.”

  He quickly tucked his body behind the tree before a bullet whizzed past where his head was a millisecond before.

  “Don’t shoot – it’s P,” he stated calmly, his own gun ready if he absolutely had to use it.

  “What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here. That’s not how it works,” a male voice answered. “Did you see me?”

  “No. And obviously you didn’t see me, so we’re Ok,
right?” Joe answered, his body plastered to the other side of a tree trunk. Not that it mattered, it was the middle of the night, the moon was barely a sliver in the sky and the woods were thick around them.

  “I don’t know. This is totally wrong.”

  “I know. And I’m sorry to put you in this situation. I don’t know how long you’ve been doing this, but I don’t know who else to ask.” Silence reigned for a few moments before a loud sigh overtook it.

  “Ask quick; I need to hurry,” the voice stated as the distinct sound of plastic crinkled from beyond the tree.

  “How do you get out? Can you get out?”

  “You can’t quit, if that’s what you’re asking,” he heard and immediately his heart sunk.

  “I mean, you can, but I can’t let you. You’re the cleanest one, you never fuck up, and I like your style. So don’t quit.”

  “But I could…”

  “Sure, why not – we don’t know you, you don’t know us. That’s the beauty of this arrangement. But like I said, you can’t quit.”

  “But -”

  “But nothing. We make more money than most executives, it’s easy as shit, why they hell would you want to quit?” More crinkling plastic and a bit of huffing and puffing followed his words.

  “You need some help?”

  “No. This dude is pretty big, though. Right between the eyes, you’re a hell of a shot – I’ll give you that.”

  “Thanks. So, would I leave the computer and the beeper and stuff somewhere?” The crinkling stopped.

  “Like how soon are we talking? Business is booming right now. Are you kidding? You can’t just leave me high and dry, bud.”

  “I’m not the only one out there. You’ll be all right. Besides, you got me into this, you can get me out.”

  “True. But I like you. The rest of them are a bunch of slobs, that’s what they are,” he huffed out. “How soon?”

  “I have a couple more hits then I’m done.”

  “Why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Why are you leaving? Wait. No, don’t tell me. This is already weird enough that we’re even having a conversation. Suffice it to say, you’ll be missed. If I could take you out for a beer, I would, but…you know how it goes. Now, you need to skedaddle, bud.”