This Guy Kills Me

by Anlyn Hansell

  She would live rent-free for three months – enough time to find a place of her own and hopefully long enough to catch up on some of the astronomical bills she still needed to pay. The meager belongings that she hadn’t sold were tucked firmly into a moving truck located somewhere en route to this small town.

  “So, are you here for an interview too?” The woman’s voice broke into her thoughts causing her eyes to roll. Luckily her bangs were side swept and created an obstacle to the other set of eyes that she could actually feel on her.

  She was never what one would consider a sociable person but this was borderline ridiculous. If the arm rest wasn’t sitting between them as a physical barrier, Chatty Cathy would surely be sharing her seat in the next few minutes.

  “Ah…no. Orientation,” she mumbled.

  “Oh, so congratulations. Are you from around here?”

  “No!” Her voice was forceful through gritted teeth. That sounded rude… “Ah, no. I’m not,” she added in a more congenial tone.

  “Ok?”

  Silence.

  “So like, where are you from?” the voice asked a moment later.

  She pushed her body into the arm rest as far as it would go. The close proximity of the other woman was actually becoming physically uncomfortable.

  “San Diego?”

  “Oh! I’ve been there! My cousin lives in Pauma Valley. I was just there two years ago. Spent a week sightseeing. It’s really beautiful. We went to…” she rambled as Anne continued to stare at the same word she had been staring at for the past few minutes.

  Endocannabinoid. The article was written by Dr. Kay Clark, a woman she had encountered several times at various symposiums. She was disputing the fact that endorphins were not indeed the cause of what was commonly referred to as “runners high” due to the larger molecular size that could not permeate the blood brain barrier. The article was fascinating, or at least it was…

  “…and the ocean was so blue…”

  She thought about the pile of magazines on the small table situated to the left of…what was her name? Gabby? It wasn’t, but it should have been, she thought with an internal smirk. If she rifled through them, she would probably find an article she herself had written.

  “So you came all the way from California. That’s amazing. Why would you leave? It’s Ok here, but…” She touched on a nerve. It caused Anne’s body to stiffen immediately.

  “…I mean, if I lived there, I’d probably never move. Where did you work? What did you do out there?”

  Her mouth was dry and getting drier by the second as apprehension rose. She swallowed but there was nothing to swallow. Oh, please go away…

  “Did you work at a different pharmaceutical company? Which one? Maybe I’ve heard of it?”

  “Ah…” she croaked out, pressing her body even further into the arm rest.

  “Did you develop anything I might have heard of?”

  “Umm…”

  “I take a couple different medications…”

  No shit. She clamped her lips shut.

  “So, where did you work?” the voice prodded.

  “I…it’s…just a…company,” she mumbled absently. Would it be improper to stand up and walk to the other side of the lobby? The room was nothing but glass partition walls on two sides and floor to ceiling windows to the outside giving the impression of a fishbowl or better yet; a monkey cage at the Zoo.

  “Yeah? What did they make?”

  Geez, lady…Anne fidgeted in her seat, the arm rest digging into her thigh. The nervousness began to subside and a small spark of anger erupted in her already buzzing brain.

  “Sex toys,” she muttered, still staring at the magazine in her lap. Maybe that would render the other woman speechless.

  “WHAT?!”

  Maybe not…

  “Yeah, right?” Anne straightened in her seat, feeling the other body move from her peripheral vision. “I developed this…warming lotion and ah…it didn’t work.” She widened her downcast eyes.

  “Wha…really? Oh my god, that’s…what happened?” the voice practically gasped.

  The buzzing in her brain ceased immediately as the lie manifested itself in her consciousness and gave her something else to concentrate on other than her physical discomfort.

  “We applied it on a test subject and…his penis exploded. It was horrible.” She closed her eyes and shook her head trying to hold back the smirk that threatened to overtake her features. “Did you ever see a hot dog cooked too long in a microwave? It was like…” She mimicked an exploding sound with her mouth, her fingers spread out and her eyes widened in mock horror as they continued to look down. If she looked at the woman’s face she would surely crack up at the ridiculousness of this situation. The small gasp confirmed that her statement had its’ intended effect. In fact, she could physically feel the woman moving away from her as the smallest of smiles played along one side of her mouth.

  “That’s just…well…” she could hear whispered next to her.

  That should just about do it…

  “Dr. Bennett?” a new woman’s voice caused her to look up toward the door to the monkey cage.

  “Yep, that’s me.” She stood up quickly, dropping the magazine on the chair to her right. She grabbed her briefcase and walked with purpose toward the new arrival.

  Hopefully Gabby didn’t get the job. Otherwise, the entire place would be buzzing about Anne - the crazy penis-exploding scientist. She hadn’t thought about that…

  Who cared?

  Maybe they would stay away from her, then.

  *****

  “Hey there.”

  The woman behind the front receptionist desk looked up and did a double take.

  “Ah…hey,” she finally uttered before swallowing nervously.

  “I’m waiting for a man named Cameron Winters.” He extended his arm and looked at the rather impressive watch on his wrist. “He didn’t by chance sign in?” He angled the small book on the counter toward him to peruse for himself.

  “Ah…no,” she replied in a small voice. His head turned toward the glass partition to the lobby, scanning over the multitude of empty chairs before passing over two seated women. His eyes passed then snapped back to shapely legs crossed at the knee before wandering up a suit clad body ending with what he would consider an extremely cute face framed by a stylish short haircut. Her face was angled down, she appeared extremely uncomfortable – possibly due to the fact that the woman next her was clearly crowding her space. Did she just roll her eyes? Yes, she did. His body angled toward the lobby, involuntarily fixated for some reason.

  Her hair was a sort of reddish brown color, the sun shining in through the lobby windows caught it, causing the strands to shine…

  “Who’s that?” he asked, his eyes still watching her.

  “Sir?” the receptionist asked softly.

  “That woman… in the lobby.”

  “Ahhh…which one?” she asked. The phone began to ring, causing her eyes to shift down and up toward his turned head.

  The cute one, he almost said before he caught himself. She was cute. From his vantage point, he could see her profile clearly. She had a small, slightly upturned nose, perfect lips, defined cheekbones…Her suit jacket was high necked, buttoned to the top, very severe – almost military like. The rigid nature of her outfit didn’t mix with the pixie-like features on her face. Her face…the expression was priceless. She was clearly annoyed. Her body was actually plastered to the side of the chair she was seated on, as if she were trying desperately to put some distance between her and the other woman. His eyes didn’t bother to wander to the woman seated to her left. He was more than content to focus on the pixie.

  “The one with short hair,” he stated instead. He turned toward the receptionist. Her eyes were cast down toward the ringing phone.

  “Ah…let me…” her fingers fumbled for the sign-in book, dragging it across the raised counter top before it fell with a thud on the actual desk itself. �
�Sorry…” she mumbled as she righted the book. Her pulse was absolutely throbbing at this point.

  “Bennett. Anne, I mean, Dr. Anne Bennett,” she finally stammered out.

  “Really? And what is Dr. Anne Bennett doing here?” she heard his accented voice in her now pounding head.

  “Umm…orientation, Sir. She’s a…ah…new hire.”

  “Hmm… I wasn’t aware we were hiring…” he stated more to himself as his head turned once more.

  You haven’t been in the country for a year…she thought, but kept it to herself.

  “Yeah, so…” she started as the phone continued to ring.

  “You can answer the phone, you know.” He turned toward her once again, a small smile playing across his face.

  Was he being friendly, sarcastic? Why was he even out here in the first place? He was making her nervous as all get out…

  “I’ll just wait for Mr. Winters out here,” he stated as he walked toward the opening between the glass partitions of the lobby.

  “Ah…yes. Ok, sure…yes…” She watched his retreating back before reaching for the phone and dropping it almost immediately with her shaking hands.

  *****

  “And then we went to Balboa Park, and of course the Zoo. They have the best Zoo. Did you go to the Zoo often? I bet you did. How could you live there and not go to the Zoo, like all the time, right? Did you ever go to LaJolla Cove? That’s really pretty, too. We don’t have anything like that, although Philly is close and if you like history…”

  He wandered into the room, completely undetected by the subject of his interest but a small nod from the other woman before she droned on. He sat on the opposite side of the room, facing the two women before grabbing a magazine from the stack on the small table next to him.

  The smaller woman…Anne, sat staring at the magazine in her lap, angling her body away from the woman, her hair side swept and concealing her features on one side which was probably a good thing considering her facial expressions.

  “So, where did you work?” the woman asked and it truly appeared the question made her nervous. She uncrossed her legs and crossed them again and her voice seemed to stammer in reply.

  The prying continued; the hesitant answers followed until the strangest thing occurred. Did she just say she worked for a company that made sex toys?

  He looked down at the cover of last month’s Bio Supply Trends before his eyes snapped up at her words, not quite believing what was coming out of her mouth. Apparently the other woman was just as shocked as he was judging from her body language. She sat upright, eyes wide. She whispered something before Anne continued on with some crazy story about exploding penises and hot dogs in microwaves. She did not just say that. Was she serious? He watched her eyes grow wide as she demonstrated the explosion while still concentrating on her lap. The small smile that curved one side of her lips up indicated her pleased state as the other woman was not only rendered somewhat speechless but she also moved toward the opposite side of her seat.

  He bit back a shocked laugh as he continued to watch her closely. Another person, a woman, judging by her voice, walked into the opening. His head turned toward the windows to avoid detection.

  “Dr. Bennett?”

  “Yep, that’s me,” she announced jovially.

  She was out of the chair in a shot, grabbing her briefcase and wandering toward the woman and out of the opening causing the other woman to follow behind.

  His eyes watched her retreating back until she disappeared around a corner. She was small in stature but the combination of the outfit and her confident walk more than made up for her lack of size. She was…intriguing to say the least.

  “Ah…that was weird,” he could hear from across the room. His eyes reluctantly swiveled to the middle aged woman seated on the other side of the lobby. She was looking at him with widened eyes.

  He was about to agree before she interrupted.

  “Hi, I’m Claire…”

  He gave a small nod and a smile before placing the magazine back on the table and standing up. Checking his watch, he noticed it was two minutes past eight.

  “Claire? Good day,” he stated before wandering from the room and approaching the semi-circular reception desk. The woman behind the desk looked up and gave a nervous smile once again.

  “When or if Mr. Winters comes in? Tell him he’s late. Tell him that I will not consider distribution through his company. Can you do that for me, love?” He was walking past the desk as she stared dumbfounded after him. He quickly stopped and turned toward her once again, causing her to jolt.

  “That woman, out in the lobby? What is she doing here?” he asked quietly with a slight jerk of his head in her direction.

  “Ah…she’s um…job interview for…ah, Accounting?” she replied nervously.

  “Right. Thank you,” he stated before walking away. Her eyes followed until he was out of sight before she blew out a breath. Turning her head, she jolted again, finding a rather handsome looking man standing in front of the reception desk.

  “Ah…Hi?’ she squeaked out.

  “Hello. I’m Cameron Winters? I’m here to see Dr. McClellan,” he announced as he took the pen and angled the book towards him to sign in.

  “Ah…” she cleared her throat nervously before swallowing audibly. “He’s…you’re…see, he said…” She took a deep breath.

  “Yes?” The man prompted.

  “You’re late and he said…that…” she swallowed again before continuing, “He said he’s not going to consider distribution with your company.”

  “What?! I’m…” He shoved his suit jacket up revealing a watch, “Three minutes late! There was traffic and…are you for real?” His eyes turned angry.

  “Ah -”

  “Call him,” he demanded.

  “I…no. I can’t, he said -”

  “Never mind, I’ll call him,” he stated in a huff. Grabbing a cell phone from his pocket, he angrily punched numbers and placed it to his ear. He was staring at her with a scowl on his face. Suddenly, he wasn’t quite so handsome anymore.

  “Dr. McClellan? This is…no I…wait, there was…no? I…three minutes!” he exclaimed as he loosened his tie with his free hand. “But…” he started, but apparently the call was cut off. He pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a second before jamming it in his pocket, picking up his briefcase and turning abruptly toward the door. Her mouth opened but shut immediately as he shoved the glass door open and practically stormed through it.

  Well, now…what a day this was turning out to be…she thought sarcastically before the ringing phone on her desk jolted her for the third time in the space of an hour.

  *****

  “Hello? Yes, this is Ian McClellan. You have an interview this morning?” he spoke into phone.

  “Ah…yes?” the disembodied male voice answered through the speaker, filling the massive office.

  “Claire? Please don’t hire Claire. She’s a bletherer. I can’t have my employees jumping off the roof, eh?”

  “Excuse me? But -”

  “I’m serious. I have to go. Good day.” He promptly pressed the button to end the call as his computer pinged with yet another email notification. He regarded the screen for a few moments debating on whether to open it and read it. His eyes wandered toward the closed door to his office before settling on the screen once again.

  Reluctantly, he sat down at his desk chair and pressed his mouse button to open it, looking at, but not truly reading the words. His mind sort of wandered back toward a pixie with shining hair and a clearly anti-social personality.

  He sighed and pushed her from his mind, concentrating on the email instead.

  *****

  “Dunmed Syntech was founded twelve years ago by Dr. Ian McClellan, and in that space of time, the company has grown exponentially by merging with and buying up smaller pharmaceutical companies. We have six locations Worldwide with the majority of Research and Development occurring in Dundee, S
cotland and a small portion here in the States. The other facilities are manufacturing and support services. We have locations in France, Germany…” the woman stated, her speech clearly memorized and well-practiced. She sounded like a tour guide or an amusement park ride operator…Keep your hands and feet inside the moving vehicle…

  *****

  An hour later and she was looking at her watch under the table. How long was this orientation? And how many more pages of this Employee Handbook is she going to read? I can read. I just want to work.

  “Page 8. We have a strict no fraternization policy. We do not encourage relationships between employees, but especially between employees and management.”

  You said it, sister. She tried that once with David. It worked so well…she thought sarcastically.

  David. Her mind wandered away from the voice that kept speaking in some strange monotone cadence. I wonder if he married Ingrid? They would make beautiful babies. They deserve each other. Rotten, superficial couple that they are. She should have known something was up when he and Ingrid broke up and immediately he had started asking Anne out. She finally succumbed to his charm, flattered that he would even notice her in a sea of beautiful women…

  Back to reality. What was this lady talking about?

  “So if you…oh! Excuse me, I…ah…” Anne looked from the screen to the stuttering woman to the opened door.

  A man walked through. Nice enough looking but apparently his appearance brought this well practiced speaker to a speech-impaired state.

  “Mr. Ah, well…Mr -”

  “Mac. Just call me Mac, eh?” he asked as he sat down at the table opposite of Anne. He had an accent. Almost like a brogue. His eyes were on her and he gave her a small smile. She acknowledged with a nod before her eyes shifted back to the screen.