Scarred

by K. Webster

  “Since we were together for so long, I knew which types of jobs he took and who he worked with. I’m really careful to avoid where I might run into him. To be quite honest, if I ever see him again, it could be very bad for me,” I confided, a shiver coursing through me.

  “Why? How could it be very bad for you?” he asked, alarmed, and sat up.

  Turning to look at him, I tried to quell the fear as my thoughts considered what Drake would do based upon the horrors he’d already done to me. “I don’t know, but I think, given the chance, he would kill me,” I told him honestly.

  “What the fuck?” he roared, nearly knocking me into the floor.

  I jumped at his sudden tone, and my heart raced.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, but shit, that’s quite a bomb you just dropped on me. What the fuck did this asshole do to you that you would fear for your life? What’s his last name? I’ll teach him to pick on women,” he growled angrily.

  “Bray, it’s fine. I avoid going out because I don’t want to run into him anywhere. That’s why Andi had her party here. I’m completely socially inept. Last time I went out with Andi and Jackson, I nearly had a panic attack when Jackson’s friend Ian hit on me,” I sighed.

  “Olive, I don’t care where we go. This is the first time I’ve been able to enjoy myself since the breakup with Andi. I’ve been coasting along, pissed off at the world and myself. Now that I’ve met you, I actually have been able to think of something else and it feels fucking great.”

  I looked over at him and smiled. His blue eyes twinkled as he grinned back at me. The guy truly was a heartthrob.

  “So tell me about what happened with Andi. Why would you cheat on a great girl like her?” I questioned, really needing to know the answer.

  He groaned and bowed his head. “Olive, I truly messed up. Andi is a great girl. We would have been better off as friends. She was naïve and came from an unloving family. I was completely taken with her and wanted to protect her. We loved each other, but eventually the spark began to fade. When school got intense towards the end, we spent less and less time together.

  “One day, a girl from one of my classes came to see my roommate. She threw herself at me and I stupidly allowed it to progress. Andi walked in on us and I was horrified at myself. Had I not been a stupid man, I would have told her we needed to spend some time apart instead of cheating on her. The cheating blindsided her and she took it really hard.

  “Believe me, I begged and begged her to come back to me. Mostly it was because I saw how it completely crushed her. I just wanted to fix her. Dammit, Olive, she totally lost it because of me.”

  Looking into his eyes, I could see the guilt. People made mistakes, and unfortunately for Bray, he got to relive them every day now that he worked with Andi. Pepper didn’t have any problems with reminding him about those mistakes either.

  “Bray, it was a mistake and you feel badly about it. I think it’s time you start to move on from it. I sure as heck would love to forget my past.”

  “Sounds like a plan. Now, to completely change the subject, I just want to tell you that your little obsession with tiny shorts is fucking hot,” he declared, sliding his hand across the back of my thigh just under my shorts.

  “Glad you approve,” I teased.

  “Actually, I don’t approve of them at all. I think you need to take them off. Now.”

  Olive giggled at my suggestion to take her shorts off. Being with her like this felt so right. It was nice sitting with her, getting things I’d never been able to talk to anyone about before off my chest.

  “I found her, you know,” I confessed sadly.

  Olive turned her head to look at me again. Her lips parted slightly at the sudden change of my voice. She pecked me on the cheek, urging me to go on.

  “After graduation, when stupid Steph came up and hugged me, Andi thought I hadn’t really changed. That night, she went to her dorm and proceeded to take all of her antidepressants with alcohol.” I paused, choking back the bile that had risen in my throat at the memory of seeing her that night.

  Olive’s eyes wildly searched mine, waiting for the rest of the story.

  “Anyway, God, this part is awful. I got a call from her and she was slurring, completely incoherent,” I sighed as tears burned my eyes. “She was fucking lifeless. I shook her but she was entirely out of it. Her eyes were rolled back and she was drooling. But the part I will never be able to erase from my mind were her lips. They were so fucking blue.”

  Olive was quietly sobbing as I described that night. I finally let a tear escape and hastily wiped it away.

  “She was barely breathing and she was fucking cold,” I growled, shaking my head at the vision.

  Olive slipped her arms around me and squeezed.

  “Once I realized she had overdosed, I shoved my fingers down her throat. All that mattered was getting the pills out of her and quickly. She vomited all over the both of us. I didn’t care. Olive, all I cared about was that she made it out alive. From that point on, I backed away. Andi was better off without me in her life. The fact that I was the cause of her nearly ending her life was almost too much to bear. As much as I hate Jackson, I’m glad she has him.” I sighed as I rehashed those memories and the Chinese food fought wildly in my stomach to make a reappearance.

  Olive studied me for a few minutes before standing to go into the kitchen. When she walked back out with a tub of ice cream, two spoons, and an ornery grin, I couldn’t help but smile back at her.

  “Enough with the depressing topics. We have a date with American Idol,” she declared. She motioned to her room and I stood to follow her in there. Either she swayed her hips as a natural way of walking or she did it to tease me—regardless, it was hot as hell.

  After she put on the show and I’d slipped off my shoes to get more comfortable, we sat together in the bed eating ice cream. I couldn’t care less about the show, but watching her get so into it was entertaining in and of itself.

  “Who do you want to win?” she asked excitedly during a commercial break. We’d finished off the ice cream and she set it on the table next to the bed.

  “Uh, Jennifer Lopez?” I answered, having no idea what to say. She was the only one I recognized from the show.

  “What? Bray! She’s a judge, dork. You weren’t paying attention at all,” she said, pretending to be annoyed.

  Laughing at her, I poked her in the ribs, making her squeal. “I was paying attention, just not to the show,” I teased, wagging my eyebrows at her.

  She playfully punched me in the belly. Sitting up, I grabbed her hips and pulled her down the bed off the pillows.

  “Just for that, you’re getting tickled. No mercy now,” I growled, making her shriek with laughter. Grabbing both hands, I held them easily with one of my hands and straddled her, pinning her to the bed. Using my free hand, I tickled her ribs some more. She screamed and thrashed wildly underneath me.

  “Stop it, you big jerk, or else!” she threatened between laughing gasps. I pulled my hand away, giving her a moment to catch her breath.

  “Or else what?” I demanded, wriggling my fingers just over her ribs again. She squirmed to get away but was unsuccessful. Her tiny frame was no match for my massive one.

  “Or else I’ll kick you out,” she huffed.

  Laughing at her, I took my fingers and gently dragged them down the side of her ribs instead of tickling her. Her eyes flew to mine, and once she realized they were now filled with desire, she relaxed under me. Leaning over with her hands still pinned, I gently sucked her neck. As I suckled her soft skin, she panted underneath me.

  My kisses moved down to the skin that was accessible above her tank top and she exhaled heavily. Using my teeth, I pulled part of her shirt down, exposing one breast. She inhaled sharply when I dragged my tongue along her flesh just above her nipple. Finally, I released her hands so I could pull the tank down farther, revealing both of her perky mounds.

  Her hands found my hair, la
tching on as I fully sucked a nipple into my mouth.

  “Bray,” she moaned as I gently brought it between my teeth, teasing it with a small nip. She reached over for the lamp and switched it off before I could argue. Luckily, the light from the television allowed me to still see her perfect body.

  Sitting up, I yanked off my shirt and tossed it off the bed. Leaning back over her, I found her lips again with mine and we kissed, unrushed. Her fingers trailed a pattern along my back almost as if she were memorizing the contours of my skin.

  While kissing, I grabbed a breast with my hand, tweaking her nipple with my thumb. Eventually, my hand slid across her tank and over her stomach to the area between her legs that was most likely throbbing for me. Slipping my hand under the waistband of her tiny shorts, I found where she was wet for me and slid my finger in.

  As I stroked her, quickly locating her g-spot, she started raising her hips to meet my movements. Hastily, she pulled down her shorts to give me better access. Chuckling into her mouth, I pulled away to look at her. The light from the television created shadows that danced across her face but did little to hide the desire that was painted there.

  I sat up on my knees and finished pulling her shorts, along with her panties, the rest of the way off. She spread her legs and I slipped in another finger, picking my pace back up. Her breaths were coming on quickly as she got close to her orgasm. Wanting to see her completely naked, I reached for the bottom of her tank to pull it off but her hand swatted it away.

  Confused, I looked up at her quizzically and was met with a devastated look.

  “Shit. What’s wrong, Olive?” I asked, worry lacing my voice. Pulling my fingers from her, I sat up on my knees, looking down at her. She chewed on her lip and tears welled in her eyes, threatening to spill over.

  Lying down beside her on my elbow, I put my hand on her cheek to turn her towards me. Whatever was going on with her, I was going to figure it out right now.

  “Olive. Tell me,” I commanded gently.

  Her eyes darted away from mine and a tear escaped. She batted it away and sighed in frustration. “He marred me,” she barely whispered.

  I could feel my entire body tense up, and my heart raced. My hand fell to her tank and gently stroked across her belly over her shirt.

  “Here?” I asked, looking up at her.

  She nodded as shame crossed over her face. Fucking shame for what that asshole had done to her.

  “I’ll kill him,” I promised, no hint of humor in my voice.

  “Not if he kills me first,” she spoke sadly. My hand that was splayed across her midsection angrily fisted her shirt. She flinched and I immediately released her shirt.

  “Please show me,” I urged, trying to control the rage towards that dickhead in my voice.

  Leaning over, she turned the lamp back on. Lying back down, she sighed heavily as she slowly started inching her shirt up.

  Pausing with the shirt she says, “It’s disgusting. I’m ashamed for you to see this part of me.”

  “Olive, you’ll never be disgusting to me. Now show me or I’ll be forced to rip your shirt off and I promise I’ll enjoy every second doing it,” I told her suggestively, hoping to lighten her mood. Her frown turned into a hopeful smile that was absolutely stunning.

  Dropping my head, I kissed her pubic bone. Inching up a bit, I kissed a little higher. Slowly, she raised her shirt little by little as I kissed what felt like scarred skin. When I made it to her belly button, I dipped my tongue inside and she whimpered in pleasure. Not lingering there, I continued my trail of kisses up her belly until she’d lifted her shirt up over her breasts.

  Finally, I looked into her eyes, waiting for permission. She chewed her lip nervously but nodded.

  I couldn’t believe I was willingly about to show Bray something that nobody but the doctor and nurse had seen before. Even Pepper and Andi were excluded from seeing my mutilated torso. Once I nodded, Bray sat up. His eyes, which had shone with contentment, quickly morphed into anger once they skittered over my body.

  Time stood still as I watched his jaw click furiously and his teeth ground against each other. The muscles in his neck had tightened unnaturally ¸ and his vein stood out prominently. His lips were pursed together in a grim line. Eventually, his eyes met mine again. The anger left them and compassion filled them.

  “Olive, I’m so sorry,” he whispered almost inaudibly. Bowing his head, he kissed along each scar, paying attention to every one of them. It was incredibly intimate. For just having met, we were crazily drawn to each other as if our spirits were tethered.

  When he finished his methodical kissing, he crawled up beside me and rubbed my belly.

  “Don’t ever hide your scars from me. I’ll think you’re beautiful no matter what,” he promised and my heart soared. It was ridiculous how fast I was latching on to Bray. Hiding it from Andi was going to be nearly impossible. I wanted to shout to the world that this beautiful, gentle, sweet man was mine.

  Pulling my shirt completely off, I leaned over and kissed him tentatively on the lips. He unfastened his jeans and wriggled out of them, eventually kicking them off the bed. Producing a condom that must have come from his pants, he tore it open and slid it on his length. Rolling onto his back, he pulled me on top of him.

  “I want to see all of you,” he declared, eyes smoldering.

  Nodding, I straddled him and slid down over his massive cock. Grabbing both hips with his hands, he guided me up and down on his shaft. This was a position Drake had never allowed, and it was quickly becoming my favorite.

  “You’re so damn sexy,” he growled as I felt my orgasm getting closer. With each bounce, I felt deliciously stretched. Electric pulses shot through me as my body prepared to come. My hands slid up his chest and grabbed a fistful of flesh when I came wildly. I moaned when I felt him pump his own orgasm into me.

  I curled up on his chest and sighed. “Bray, this feels so good being with you this way. I can’t help but feel sad though that we’re hidden in our little bubble. We can’t stay in here forever, and we have to be careful with this relationship.

  “Olive, let’s tell them tomorrow,” he suggested, but I frowned. I had to figure out how I was going to begin to explain the situation that was me and Bray to the girls.

  “I promise I’ll tell them eventually. Let me figure out the best way to do that,” I expressed to him. Sliding off of him, I climbed off my bed and headed to the dresser. Grabbing a scarf that was draped over the mirror, I wrapped my hair carefully. “Ready for a shower?” I asked saucily as I sashayed into the bathroom.

  The sound of the bedsprings and heavy footsteps behind me had me grinning the whole way there.

  We hardly slept last night as we spent our time getting to know each other in every possible way. When Bray’s phone alarm went off this morning, he reluctantly left to go to work but not before putting our numbers in each other’s phones.

  I didn’t have any modeling gigs today so I attempted to call my mother. She never took my calls, but I hoped I might get her to talk to me eventually. Dialing her number, she picked up on the second ring.

  “Hello?” Her tone was sweet which meant she obviously had not taken the time to look at the caller ID.

  “Momma?” I asked hesitantly, afraid she would hang up on me.

  “What do you want, child?” she asked, voice quickly cooling. At least she was speaking to me.

  “Momma, I miss you. Have you been getting the money I’ve been sending to you? How’s Opal?” I asked in a rush, eager to get some answers.

  She sighed but didn’t hang up. Progress.

  “Yes, I got the devil’s money. I’m not spending a dime of it. If you’ll please tell me your address, I’ll mail the checks back to you. And Opal… I can’t even talk to you about her right now,” she clipped out. Opal was my beautiful younger sister, who would be eighteen this month. We’d been so close until my mother had refused to allow me to be a part of their lives.

  “Momma, please
just use the money. You and Opal need it more than I do. I was thinking maybe I could come see you for Christmas,” I said hopefully. I’d only been able to recently start sending Momma checks. While with Drake, he’d controlled every dime.

  “I will make do. The church provides when times are tight. I believe I’ll be busy for Christmas,” she replied snootily.

  My heart sank. I missed her and my little sister. For an entire year, I’d been trying to contact them, and only recently had I been able to get her to actually answer the phone. This was the most she’d ever spoken to me in over a year. I needed to tread lightly if I wanted to continue our conversation.

  “Um, okay. Well, maybe another time?” I questioned. She sighed loudly into the phone and I cringed.

  “We’ll see, Olive. Is that all you called about? Because I need to get back to working on the church bulletin. They don’t pay me to lollygag. Say hello to your harlot sister,” she spat out at me.

  “What?” I started to ask but was cut off by the dial tone. Tears filled my eyes, but I blinked them away. What had she meant by her last comment? Was Opal here in New York City?

  Walking over to the window, I watched the people like I would any other day while at home and not working. They all bustled along in a hurry to get to their jobs and appointments. I watched them with envy as they went on with their lives without a worry in the world.

  My life was far from normal. I had a horrible relationship with my mother. I was betraying my best friend by sleeping with her ex-fiancé. And I couldn’t go out in public like a normal person in fear of getting stalked by my abusive ex. Those people down below just hustled by without a care in the world.

  I sighed in frustration and set to cleaning the apartment. If there was one thing I could control, it was the cleanliness of where I lived.