Finally, For Me

by Burke, Roseanne

  In all reality, her words didn't surprise me much. She was selfish, and always got whatever she wanted, no matter who she hurt in the process.

  "Ben please! Don't say that! " she pleaded, grabbing my arms. I stiffened under her touch, breaking free.

  "The sad part is that I honestly don't even care to know the details," I shrugged, rubbing my chin. And I really didn't.

  "You have just been working so much! I've been lonely!" she cried.

  That hit me like a punch in the gut. Fucking bitch. "Keep going. Keep telling me how this is my fault," I said, my resolve like steel.

  "That's not what I meant! I'm so sorry!" She started crying, the sound of which made me feel nothing but annoyance.

  "Please just stop. This hasn't been a relationship for quite some time. I think it's best if you just get the rest of your things and leave," I said, staring ahead. My eyes were fixed on a brightly colored abstract painting on the wall. I've always hated that painting, I thought. She had picked it out, and now I could get rid of it.

  She lifted her head up, anger glaring in her eyes. "Fine! Good luck finding someone who will put up with your shit!"

  With that, she stormed off. I flinched as I heard the front door slam. I calmly brought my drink to my lips. It was done.

  Chapter 8

  Lacey

  I woke up Friday morning, well rested. I laid in bed stretching out, savoring the feeling of having nothing to do all day. I got up and decided to make myself eggs and bacon. I reached in the cabinet for a skillet, smiling as I spotted my waffle maker. A tingle shot through my body thinking about Ben in my bed. Stop it Lacey, I told myself, shaking my head.

  I had to admit I missed being around him. Part of me wanted to go up to his floor that night, but I didn't want to seem desperate or obvious. Plus, he had a girlfriend. I had to keep reminding myself of that. Spending time together just felt so natural; it was hard to picture him having a relationship with someone else.

  My day went on, completely uneventful. But for the first time, I felt content as opposed to anxious by myself. Evening rolled around, and I decided this would be a perfect night for a bubble bath. I opened up a bottle of red, and lit the candles lining the tub. Once it filled, I climbed into the steaming hot water, breathing out through my lips as I got used to the temperature. I laid back, sipping my wine, enjoying the moment.

  Knock knock knock!

  My eyes flew open. Who could that be? I wasn't expecting any deliveries. My mind raced as I quickly stepped out of the tub, water dripping on the floor. I wrapped myself in a towel and made my way to the front door. I peeked cautiously out the peep hole, and my breath caught in my chest as I saw who it was. Ben stood there, his brown eyes looking up and around. Holy shit holy shit holy shit! What was he doing here? I opened the door slightly and stuck my head in the hallway, looking both ways to make sure no one else was out there.

  "Hey! What's up?" I asked cheerfully, trying to talk like I wasn't naked under a flimsy piece of green material.

  "Hey, I'm sorry to bug you, you seem busy," he said. I saw a pizza box in his hands.

  "No you're fine! I was just taking a bath. Come in." I opened the door wider and shut it quickly behind him. I stood there, holding the towel to me, still trying to process him being in my apartment. I caught his eye wandering down very quickly. I started to blush.

  "I just thought if you didn't have plans, we could eat some pizza. I brought this too," he said, reaching in his back pocket, pulling out a copy of Reservoir Dogs.

  I couldn't contain my grin. I looked up at him, clinging to my towel. "That sounds perfect! I'll just go make myself presentable first."

  "Ok, great," he said smiling.

  I started to walk toward the bedroom. "I opened a bottle of red, it's on the counter, help yourself," I called. "Glasses are in the cabinet by the fridge."

  "Ok thanks," I heard him reply.

  I frantically opened my closet doors. What should I wear? We were staying in watching a movie; I didn't want to dress up, but I also didn't want to slum it in yoga pants. I thought about what he was wearing, a maroon polo and dark jeans. It was nice seeing him dress down. It was the first time seeing him in short sleeves, revealing those muscles I had felt the other night.

  I felt the time ticking, so I quickly grabbed a red form fitting tee shirt and jeans. I threw my hair back in a messy bun and hastily applied some mascara. I walked back out into the kitchen. Ben was there, putting the slices of pizza onto plates. He looked up at me and grinned. God, that was a really sexy grin.

  "Hey, so we never discussed toppings, so I got pepperoni. I hope that's ok?" He brought his thumb to his mouth, licking a dollop of sauce off it. My belly tightened.

  "Perfect! God that smells delicious," I said stepping toward the food. "Is this that Antonio's you told me about?"

  "Yep, I'm telling you, it's the best."

  We grabbed our plates and wine and walked into the living room. I was surprised to see a blanket laid out in the middle of the floor. I looked at Ben, confused.

  "I figured we could have a picnic, since your couch isn't in yet," he said, walking over and sitting cross legged on the blanket. My heart fluttered in my chest.

  "You're always thinking," I smiled, joining him. "But what about for the movie? We won't want to sit on the floor all night. Should we go up to your place?" I asked, taking a bite. This pizza was delicious.

  "Well, my place is off limits tonight," he said, gulping his wine.

  Oh? "And why would that be?" I prompted.

  He took a few extra moments to finish chewing before saying, "Because Marissa is moving her stuff out."

  He looked at me, trying to gauge my reaction. My eyes widened.

  "What? What happened? I take it you did some soul searching?" I set my plate down, now gulping my own wine. I definitely liked this turn of events.

  He shifted himself. "Yeah, the funny thing is that I really was going to end it anyway, but then she admitted cheating on me, so yeah, that helped make me feel better about the decision," he laughed spitefully.

  Ouch. I paused, then asked, "Are you ok?"

  Our eyes locked. I felt hot under his gaze. My stomach felt like it sunk down to the bottom floor. I had to take a drink to break the intensity.

  "I am, really. I mean, obviously it sucks. But I know I will be good," he smiled.

  "Yeah, too bad you don't know anyone who's been in a similar situation recently that could be there for you and help you out," I joked, picking my plate back up.

  He laughed. I realized I loved the sound of his laugh. It was deep and hearty, and it made me feel warm.

  "Yeah, too bad," he winked. Wow, again, not what I had expected when I started my day.

  We finished eating, and Ben took my plate and headed into the kitchen. "Is your dishwasher clean or dirty?" he called.

  "Um, dirty I think." I smiled listening to him rinse off the plates and place them in the dishwasher. Something about it felt so comfortable and homey. I grabbed my wine glass, following him.

  "Need some more?" he asked, holding up the bottle.

  "Sure." I offered up my glass. "Um, I have vodka, but I don't have vermouth for a martini for you. Or olives for that matter. But other than that," I joked.

  "Red wine is perfect. Plus I've never found anyone who can make one as good as Johnny does, myself included," he smiled.

  "Oh, I see how it is," I teased, pushing his chest. Again, the feel of his hard muscles under my hand sent a jolt of electricity down below. I could tell he was affected too by the look in his eye. He quickly looked away and poured the rest of the bottle in his glass.

  "So," I said, interrupting the electric silence. "We can watch it in my bed, I guess." I tried to maintain eye contact. Had I put too much emphasis on the word, bed?

  "Ok, lead the way." He motioned with his wine toward the bedroom.

  My stomach began to tie in knots as I walked. We were going to my bed, both single, drinking wine. What was I expecting? W
hat was he expecting? It was too soon for either one of us to get involved with someone, right? My thoughts were interrupted by Ben handing me the DVD.

  "Thanks, make yourself comfortable." I hoped I wasn't salivating.

  He crawled smoothly onto the bed. I thanked my lucky stars I had actually made the bed that day. I got the DVD ready and climbed in next to him. He handed me my glass.

  "Thank you sir," I smiled, sipping my wine, glancing sideways at him.

  "You're welcome miss." He patted my thigh playfully, causing my skin to burn under his touch. As he moved his hand away, I felt a literal ache in my groin. God, it's been a long time since I've been horny, I thought.

  I tried the best I could to just watch the movie, but every fiber of me was aware of my proximity to him. I needed to calm down.

  "Want some more wine?" I asked, nodding toward his empty glass.

  "Sure."

  I slid off the side of the bed and went into the kitchen. I felt my panties were damp. Jesus Lace, get a grip! I opened up another bottle, this time a Zinfandel. I poured some in my glass, taking a giant swig before refilling and heading back to the bedroom.

  "Here," I said, handing him the bottle.

  His gorgeous grin stretched across his face. "Thank you much."

  I climbed back into bed, trying not to spill. I then started to feel the warmth from the wine, helping me loosen up.

  We sat side by side, each making occasional adjustments. We were close enough to brush each other when we moved, but we weren't cuddling. We made it halfway through the movie before we both had trouble focusing.

  "I have to admit, I don't usually drink wine, but this is mighty tasty," he said, nodding his head, looking at his empty glass.

  "I am definitely a wino," I giggled.

  "What about your apple martinis?" He noticed what I drank? I looked at the curve of his lips when he spoke.

  "I like those too. But wine is my friend," I sighed dramatically.

  "What am I, chopped liver?" he joked. "At least I won't give you a headache in the morning." He turned himself slightly toward me.

  "Yes, you're a much better friend than wine," I laughed, touching his forearm. I let my hand rest there for a moment, then pulled away quickly. "Would you like some more? I'm willing to share." I batted my lashes playfully.

  "Yes please." I poured the rest of the bottle in his glass. He took the empty bottle from me, resting it on my table.

  "So we're a pair of lushes, that's two bottles of wine!" I cried. I was starting to feel fuzzy, but happy. And bold.

  "Hey, we're allowed. We both just got out of shitty relationships," he said, touching my glass with his. Yes we had.

  "To new beginnings," I said.

  "To new beginnings," he repeated.

  We sat looking at each other. I felt like there was more to say, but I wasn't sure if I should say it. I really didn't even know what it was.

  "So how long will the she-devil be in your place?" I asked, breaking the tension.

  "Ha! I have other words for her, not appropriate to say in front of a lady," he laughed. "I don't have a clue, and I don't want to go check and find out she's there either."

  "Well you're welcome to stay here if you'd like," I said as casually as possible, brushing a non-existent crumb off the bed. "We could have a sleepover! It will be fun!" I clapped my hands excitedly. I hoped I was playing it off well; I didn't want him to know how badly I wanted him to accept my invitation.

  Ben laughed out loud again. "A sleepover, huh? And what does one do at a sleepover?"

  "Well, we can stay up late, tell each other secrets, do each other's hair. You know, the usual," I giggled, turning myself to completely face him.

  He sat, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Alright, you make a good argument. We'll have a sleepover." Oh god, he said yes.

  I sat looking at his gorgeous smile. I wished I could see that smile every day. The way his dark stubble make his white teeth stand out, I wanted to rub my hand over it, feel it on my thighs. I quickly broke the silence.

  "Well we may as well get comfortable then. You can't have a sleepover in regular clothes, we need pajamas!" I cried, hopping up. "I'm gonna go change."

  "Wait, I don't have any clothes here!" he laughed, following me across the room to my dresser.

  "Well what do you usually sleep in?" I asked teasingly. Nothing, I hoped.

  "Uh usually just boxers." He stared at me, his smoldering gaze practically melting me into a puddle in front of him.

  "Ok, boxers it is," I said, raising my eyebrows. I grabbed a light pink cami and matching shorts and headed into the bathroom.

  I caught sight of myself in the mirror as I changed. My cheeks were pink, a side effect of the wine, which made my eyes look even bluer than usual. I opened my mouth, running my tongue over my teeth. Luckily the wine hadn't stained them. I took my hair out of the bun, running my fingers through it. It fell softly around my shoulders. What was I doing? My body obviously wanted to fuck him, but my mind was running a mile a minute. Does he even want me too? What if we do this and we mess up the friendship we've started? I shook my head, trying to clear it, before heading back out to the bedroom.

  ********

  Ben

  I watched her walk into the bathroom and close the door. I hadn't wanted to strip down in front of her for fear of her seeing my already hard dick. What were we going to do? She was being playful; I couldn't tell if she wanted me or really was just offering me a place to stay. I pulled my shirt up over my head and slid my jeans down to the floor. I tried thinking mundane thoughts to bring my dick down a bit. I pulled back the covers and slid into her bed, waiting for her to come out.

  A minute later, she emerged, wearing a similar outfit to the last time I had been here. A tiny tank top and shorts, this time a pale pink that blended with her skin, making her seem naked at first glance. This wasn't doing anything to help my below the belt situation.

  Instead of walking around to the other side of the bed, she climbed over me. Her legs straddled me for just a second before continuing to her side of the bed. She had to have done that on purpose right? God I wanted her badly.

  "Comfy?" she asked, settling in next to me.

  I needed to test the waters. Were we friends? Or did she want more?

  "Not yet," I replied, putting my arm around her and pulling her close to me. "Ah, that's better."

  She nuzzled into me saying, "you're right, that's much better."

  I rested my cheek on her head as we turned our attention back to the movie. The end credits started to roll.

  "Wanna watch something else?" she asked, bouncing up.

  "I'm game for whatever," I replied, hoping she understood what I meant by that.

  "Let's just see what's on TV." She grabbed the remote, flipping through channels. "How about this?"

  It was a stand up special on Comedy Central.

  "Sounds good to me," I smiled, letting her back into my arms. Her skin was so soft and smooth. I breathed in the floral scent of her shampoo. I instinctively wanted to kiss the top of her head again, but stopped myself this time. Everything about our evening again felt so natural, like we had already known each other for years.

  We watched the show, which was hilarious, but did very little to distract me from her. After a while, I felt her head start to bob.

  "Are you falling asleep?" I asked quietly.

  "Sorry," she yawned. "My sleep is just so screwed up since starting to work night shift. I feel like I'm tired all the time." I felt a mix of disappointment and concern. I really had thought we would maybe hook up, and that's definitely what I wanted, but I also genuinely wanted her to be happy. And if sleep is what she wanted, that's what I wanted to give her.

  "Here, let's go to sleep then." I reached over and turned out the light on the bedside table. Darkness enveloped us.

  We settled down under the blankets, my arm still around her. She turned herself, facing away from me, causing me to spoon her. I felt the soft curve of
her ass brush back against me. I was trying as hard as possible not to be hard, but I kept imagining me gripping her ass as we fucked. I brought my top hand up and gently rubbed her arm.

  "That feels nice," she murmured.

  "We haven't told each other secrets yet. What's a sleepover without secrets?" I whispered.

  Another yawn escaped her mouth. "You're right! Um, what's a secret I have?" she asked out loud. "Um, um. Well, I guess a secret I have would be that I've never had an orgasm from another person."

  Her words stunned me. First the topic she went with, then the actual secret she told. "Never?"

  "Never. I know how to do it myself, but no one's been able to do it for me," she replied.

  Holy shit. "Well that's a damn shame." I rested my top arm around her as she laced her fingers with mine.

  "Yeah, tell me about it," she giggled sleepily. "What about you, what's your secret?"

  I laid there quietly, trying to think. I suddenly heard her breathing change, and the faintest little snore.

  "Lace?" I whispered. No response.

  I smiled into the dark as I tightened my arms around her.

  "My secret is that I'm really falling for you."

  Chapter 9

  Lacey

  My eyes opened slowly as the sunlight poured into my room. I laid there, trying to get accustomed to the light. I rolled to the other side, disappointed to find an empty bed next to me. What had I expected? Why would he have stayed the night? Had I done anything embarrassing? Other than pass out on him, obviously. I groaned, rubbing my forehead. My clock read ten thirty. I might as well get up and get ready for the day, I thought.

  I walked out of my bedroom and crossed the hall to the bathroom. The smell of coffee hit my nose, causing me to stop short. I tip toed toward the kitchen, peeking my head around the corner. Ben stood there, with just his jeans on, his back to me. I watched him busily whisk batter in a bowl and pour it into the waffle maker. The muscles of his back twisted with his movements. I cleared my throat, causing him to turn.