Beautiful Death

by Christina Moore

  Tristan gasped at the validation. God, it was so stupid to not notice, especially after all that stuff he’d told him the other night—fast movements, pale, cold skin, never awake during daylight hours or ate anything.

  “I simply chose to not tell you until I saw it necessary for you to know,” Ash continued. “What would you had done had you known before? Stayed here, allowed me to protect you? I am not so foolish.” Ash sighed. “You must understand, I was and still am only trying to protect you. I had intended on telling you my nature when I saw fit. Unfortunately, the monster in me made me lose my senses and you had to find out in a dreadful manner. I assure you, friend, I am the safest vampire you shall ever know.”

  Tristan scoffed, relaxing a little and mumbled, “Fucking right...” He knew he should get up. He should get up and leave. But for some reason, despite the way he felt in that house when he discovered what Ash was, he wasn’t afraid of him now. Maybe it was because he saved his life again. Something in him told it was more than that. There was a connection to Ash he didn’t want to admit.

  He slumped, staring down at his lap. “Why?”

  “Pardon?”

  He looked up to that immobile shadow again and wished he would stop hiding in the dark. “Why... all of this?”

  “I am not sure I understand, Tristan.”

  He sighed heavily. There were a million thoughts bouncing around. But only one that really nagged at him like the whine of an old girlfriend. “Why did you ask me to trust you when you can’t even tell me the truth?”

  Tristan may have not been the type to trust easily, but he made his own decisions. He hated it when people lied, thinking they were trying to protect others from something. He was a take-the-hard-truth sort of guy. Give it to him up front and then he would come to his own conclusions. Ash for instance, looking at the simplicity of his actions, he was trying to do good. He really was. He was genuinely looking out for Tristan. Despite his lies, rudeness and general weirdness, Tristan was sure that had he’d been given the chance, been told the full truth, he would have given Ash his trust. Eventually. He may have been hardheaded as hell, but he was fair. Gave respect when due.

  Ash made a small surprised noise. “I have misjudged you. You are wise for one so young.”

  Tristan jumped forward in challenge, eyes wide in amazement. “You really can read my mind, can’t you?” It wasn’t his imagination.

  Ash leaned forward, so that his face was more clearly lit, showing his emotions. His pale eyes glowed like two purple stars. “Yes, most thoughts, a skill of my kind. And you, you think very loudly, so honestly. It is hard to not hear you.” Ash actually found great amusement in Tristan’s way of thinking. It was… refreshing.

  Think loudly? “Tell me why. Why should I trust you now?”

  Ash gave a soft sigh. “I never asked you to trust me, Tristan. I only asked you to believe in me.”

  He glared at the other man. “How can I believe in you when you won’t even tell me the fucking truth! God, I mean, I know I’m not the easiest guy to get along with lately, but that doesn’t mean I’m a total douche. I give respect when earned and I deserve the same. Simple.” Part of the problem, the fuel to his anger was at himself, because he had started to believe in Ash. Tristan never trusted anyone and the fact that he started to with someone he had no reason to pissed him off. The infantile bond they had was shattered when the truth about Ash was revealed. He felt the fool.

  Ash sat back into the darkness again and was silent for a long time. Finally his soft voice whispered, “You are right.” Tristan gave a start, but said nothing. “I realize I have not been entirely honest with you. I must ask however, that you give me time.”

  “Time for what? I don’t have time. I almost died!” He hadn’t meant to yell, but he was just so frustrated.

  The vampire gave a deep sigh. “I know and that was regrettable. I am not accustomed to... socialization. I am not what you would call a… people person, I am no good with others.”

  Tristan snorted. “I could have told you that.”

  Ash couldn’t help but smile. “I have lived for a very long time, however that time has taken its toll upon me, leaving many scars on my soul. Deep, ugly scars. I realize my own issues have put you in danger and I am truly sorry for that. I will not let it happen again. And I will not ask for your forgiveness, only a chance for atonement.”

  “Listen. This is going to take me awhile to absorb. But I’ve already decided that I’m not running away. I’m not afraid of you. Stupid? Maybe. But I’m going to do something I never do and trust you, even though I fully believe you don’t deserve it right now.” It was a leap of faith, something Tristan didn’t do very often, even before the accident.

  “Thank you,” Ash answered softly.

  Tristan had to give a small smile before frowning again. “So tell me, for my own peace of mind and give it to me straight—are you working with him? Malik?”

  Ash had the decency to look insulted. “No.”

  “You’re sure? Because I won’t ask again and if you turn on me, I swear to God that I will kill you with my own hands and I’ve never killed anything.”

  “I swear upon every deity ever in existence that I will not turn on you, Tristan.”

  He narrowed his eyes at Ash. “You can understand if I’m skeptical. I mean, you’re one of them.”

  “I am not one of them,” Ash spit back. “Do not dare put me in their faction. You think I volunteered to be this? I did not ask to be made into a monster that lives only to kill. A creature confined to darkness and misery... I was deceived by his cunning and charm. He forced this life upon me. That is why I will do whatever I can to keep you safe. I will not let him destroy any more innocent life.”

  Tristan jerked forward, causing the bed sheet to shift. “Ho-ly shit. Malik is the one who made you into a vampire. He’s your Master!” They both looked down at the same time. “What the… Why the hell am I naked?”

  Ash cleared his throat softly as he sat back to hide his face again, but not before Tristan caught a glimpse of blush. “Yes,” that ashy voice hissed. “That son of a bitch did this to me. I was so young and horribly naive... vulnerable.” Ash sighed heavily, letting his words trail off to nothing.

  Tristan gave him a look, raising his eyebrows. Didn’t know Ash could curse. Ash sat forward again, showing a pale white face clear of blush as he ran fingers through his hair, head held low. He didn’t want to talk about his vampire origin, that much was apparent and Tristan regretted bringing it up. Turned out, the guy wasn’t so bad. That was assuming Tristan could really trust him. And funny enough, he wanted to and did. “You know, it’s fine,” he said, “you don’t have to talk about it. I know it hurts.”

  Ash made a small surprised noise, looking up again. “Now you are reading my mind,” he said.

  “No,” Tristan sighed and lay back on the bed making sure his groin was covered, “I can tell. We’re the same. Well, I mean I’m not a vampire but I know that pain.” The pain of losing something irreplaceable.

  “Your parents,” the other man answered softly.

  “Mhm.”

  “You truly loved them like no other.”

  Tristan sighed again, shutting his eyes a moment. “Well, yeah. They were my parents. We were really close. Losing them… it was the worst thing that’s happened to me in my life. That’s including all the shit that I’ve seen in the last few days and almost dying. Family has always been very important to me and they were all I had.”

  “You care and love very deeply.”

  “Yeah, I guess I do.”

  The room was silent for a long time as the two let their thoughts overtake them. It was Ash that finally broke that silence. “I suppose we are the same after all.”

  Tristan opened his eyes, looking up at the ceiling and smiled. One a man, the other a monster, but they had an understanding. They were both damaged in their own specially fucked up way.

  Tristan’s stomach let out a long growl and h
e sat up, making sure the covers stayed on him properly this time. Flashing a girl was one thing, but the guy blushed. I mean, come on, what was that about? “God, I’m hungry. How long was I having my beauty sleep?”

  Ash’s mouth twisted as he held back a grin. Tristan hadn’t seen himself yet—beauty sleep indeed. The vampire stood, crossing the room. He was wearing an ankle length kimono type robe, the same pale purple as his eyes, embroidered in silver thread. His long hair was loose down his back to his waist, brushing softly against the heavy fabric when he moved. The memory of that vampire dream hit Tristan again and he frowned.

  “A full day.”

  “Shit,” he said, ignoring his memories of the beautiful woman. “That fucker really messed me up, huh? Did I lose a lot of blood?”

  “Yes, you had. You had some mild shock as well. How do you feel?”

  He shrugged, feeling his body aches. “All right I guess, considering. But I have to take a leak like you wouldn’t believe and feel like I could eat a rhino.”

  Ash gave way to a grin. That was the power Tristan held over him. “I made you tea.”

  He looked to the nightstand and found the tea the vampire was motioning to. He picked up the white porcelain mug and lifted it towards his mouth. He was dying of thirst. But, he hadn’t gotten it to his lips before a nasty smell wafted over him. He jerked the cup away so fast he almost spilled it in his lap.

  “Jesus Christ, Ash... what is this?”

  “It will aid in your healing. Be sure to drink it all.”

  He made a face a pushed the cup away on the nightstand. Like he’d drink something that smelled like spicy dog shit and old leaves.

  Ash sighed. “You are hungry, yes?”

  Hell yes he was, but if he didn’t get to the toilet soon, he was going to wet the bed. He was trying to wait for Ash to leave. He was far from shy. What he was uncomfortable with was the guy blushing when he saw him naked. Made him wonder how he got him undressed while he was unconscious. Or what might have happened while in said prone position. Tristan shuddered.

  When he looked up, Ash was grinning at him. That stupid fucking smile stretched into an even stupider grin until the vampire was lost to a full-throated, fangy laugh. Something tugged at Tristan’s stomach seeing those fangs in full relief finally, even if it was just in laughter. Fangs Ash made no point of hiding now that the truth was out about who he really was. Granted, they weren’t very big at all, a human might have teeth that size naturally. It was the idea of what they were used for.

  “Oh, you heard that, huh? God, I’m going to have to watch what I think.”

  “Hardly, you speak just as plainly as you think. You are very amusing… for a human.”

  That trigged a sudden memory in Tristan and he straightened. “Hey, that guy, that vampire you... um, ate. He asked me what I was. What did he mean?”

  All amusement left Ash’s smooth expression and he frowned. “I think perhaps you should bathe and eat first. Then we shall speak on such things.”

  “That good huh? Damn…”

  “There are fresh wrappings and ointment for your wounds in the bathroom when are you done. Be gentle on your stitches and let me know if you need help.”

  Stitches? Oh man, guess he was hurt more than he realized. Wait, did he just offer to help? Dude just wanted to see him naked again. Pervert.

  Chuckling softly at Tristan’s last thought, Ash turned towards the door to leave. He stopped with his hand on the knob and gave him a sly look over his shoulder, eyes shimmering with laughter. “You do understand if I do not join you for dinner?”

  Oh, god. He seriously did not want to know. “You—Yeah.”

  Ash gave a soft nod and started to turn away again, but stopped. “Tristan?”

  “Hmm?” he asked, eyeing the tea as he got a whiff of it again. He really wasn’t going to touch that.

  “Thank you.” When Tristan looked confused he added, “For giving me your trust.”

  “Yeah, sure,” he answered, giving a dismissive wave but deep down he really appreciated the gesture. “Now get out.” Ash gave him one last look and left, leaving him to the quiet of his room. Finally alone with nothing but his thoughts, Tristan took in a deep breath and relaxed back on the bed for a moment.

  So, Ash was a vampire. Did that really change things? Guess not. Well, so long as he didn’t lose it and eat him or turn out to be really on Malik’s side. Though, something told him that wasn’t the case. Ash’s mission to hunt and kill Malik, maybe even all bad vampires, seemed genuine. Ash saved Haruka, and more recently Tristan, when he didn’t have to. Ash was a nice guy, even if he was socially horrific. But some of that seemed to just be his mask, a pretense he used to hide his true feelings. In the end, it seemed like Tristan’s only friend was a vampire. How fucked up was that?

  Tristan gave a small snorted sort of laugh and climbed out of bed. He stumbled the first few steps before catching himself. His whole body felt like one big wet noodle, ready to dump him to the floor at any moment. On the way to the bath, he stumbled a few more times, almost falling into the stone fireplace head first.

  Just as Ash had said, there were clean bandages on the sink counter. Mixed in with the assortment of cotton and tape was a small, unlabeled glass jar. Tristan removed the lid and was greeted by a pungent, sordid smell. The muddy, shit-brown cream looked like ointment, but smelled like fresh earth after a heavy rain mixed with the scent of moldy fall leaves that have been sitting on the ground too long. But, under those two very overpowering, unpleasant scents was something else, something almost... alluring. It was sweet and held a bit of a tang that tickled his sinuses. For some reason it made his mouth water.

  He carefully pulled the soiled bandages from his right arm and left side. The gauze stuck where the ointment and other fluids had dried into a biological paste. He cringed when it finally gave and peeled away, pulling at his tender skin and threatening to reopen the wounds.

  Considering a vampire had its way with him, the outcome could have been worse. He was just lucky he didn’t die. The big gash on his left side had only a few tiny stitches that might not even scar. There were dozens of other tiny scratches covering his chest and arms, surprisingly none worse than a paper cut. The worst of the damage by far was his right arm. Aaron had practically opened up his forearm to the bone. The wound was jagged and had more stitches than he wanted to count. Despite Ash’s careful attentiveness with the tiny stitches, there’d be a gnarly scar to show for it later. He’d have to remember to thank him for the purple thread.

  There was a baker’s dozen worth of small bruises over his ribcage and upper arms, but it was his back that really ached. Remembering the flying leap he took with the vampire riding him like a snowboard, he put his back to the mirror, looking over his shoulder and winced. He had a whole world map of purple and green. It was no wonder he hurt so much.

  The large soaking tub in Ash’s guest bath caught his eye, but he never had the patience for things like baths. Besides, Ash was waiting to talk to him. To tell him what he was. After a tribute to Austin Powers, a much needed relief, he jumped into the shower for a quick refresher. He dressed hastily in the gray dress slacks and black knit top left for him, and redressed his wounds with that nasty shit Ash called ointment and fresh bandages. He opened the bathroom door to find Haruka standing over the dinette table, setting out dinner. She turned at hearing him exit the bathroom and presented him with a low bow.

  “Oh, hey, Haruka.” He fumbled around trying to remember the Japanese word he wanted and finally managed a muddled, “Hajimemashite.”

  She shook her head, corrected his pronunciation, and the usage of the word—which wasn’t entirely correct—and then said, “Konbanwa, young Master.” The whole time her gaze was fixed on the floor away from him.

  His stomach growled loudly as the smell of dinner wafted over him. “Thanks,” he said, motioning to the table and she actually looked up, meeting his gaze. He offered her a warm smile when she didn’t look away, took a
step closer. “You can call me Tristan, you know.”

  Haruka looked away quickly, shaking her head gently. She started for the door and he dropped his shoulders feeling as if he just lost some little unknown battle.

  Not only was dinner a big pile of red potatoes and two vegetables, there was also two steaks—one a medium rare filet mignon, the other a seared tuna. He didn’t know how she knew how he liked his steak, but he didn’t care as he dove into it mouth first, barely chewing. He wondered if she made the American meal just for him. He thought that maybe she really did like him, but that she was just shy… in addition to being messed up in the head from Malik. He’d feel weird hitting on her though.

  As his mind started to wander, he went from Haruka’s sexy legs to thinking about the last woman he was with. Then he remembered how he ended up with her. In the end, as always, his thoughts stopped with his parents. He wondered why they had to die. He wasn’t so naïve to think that people never died, but they were so young. He was so young. No one should lose their parents so young.

  Suddenly not so hungry anymore, he got up from his meal. He opened the door to leave his room and was slapped in the face by fierce piano music. He almost stepped on Pandora and jumped step back, startled. “Hello, sweetheart. What are you sitting here for? You smell my food? It’s cooked, dunno that you’d want it.”

  She blinked blue eyes up at him and he smiled. Barefoot, he padded towards the Great Room, Pandora in tow. Outside of the doorway, he stopped and leaned against the wall. Pandora trotted into the room leaving him behind. He shut his eyes and let the sound of the piano fill his head, feeling the sorrow Ash emitted through his fingers. It was as if he played to release his misery, not knowing any other way but through his hands at the keys. He understood now why Ash was so solemn, so... sad. He didn’t choose his life, to be a vampire. He hated what he is. He played in lament to his lost humanity.

  The music trailed to a stop and Ash’s soft voice filtered out of the room. “You are being rude.”

  Busted. Tristan wondered how long it would take to remember Ash could hear him, even when he kept his big mouth shut. Tristan sighed and turned the corner of the room. All of the lights were out. A fire had been lit earlier in the evening, leaving the dying embers fighting to illuminate the large space and the room smelling like burnt wood. He gave Ash a tired smile and sat down on one of the chairs in front of the piano, facing him. Pandora was already in the other, tongue hanging out happily as if everything was just peachy, as if the air in the room wasn’t dense with emotion. Tristan didn’t know exactly what it was, but he swore he could feel Ash’s mood, infectious and slowly sapping the life from him. Their conversation was going to be that bad, huh?