Dirty Bad Secrets

by West, Jade

  Her face bloomed like a slapped arse. “Stop it.”

  “Fucking hell. You did bail, didn’t you?” I couldn’t resist a bitter laugh. “That really is your modus operandi, isn’t it? Faye Devere, disappears in a puff of smoke when the going gets too fucking tough for her. No grit, that’s your problem, no sense of commitment.”

  “You have no idea what happened in Italy, Andy. No fucking idea why I left.”

  “At least I’m not the only one you mugged off. Did you drop him right in the shit, too? Or was that just me?”

  She turned the doorhandle, but her eyes stayed on mine, simmering. Something else, too, the thin line of her lips quivered for just a heartbeat. “You can be such a spiteful prick, Andy. I really don’t know why I came back here.”

  I’d pushed it too far, and I knew it, but my ego stormed on ahead of me. “You know where the fucking door is, Faye. Don’t let me stop you.”

  She didn’t. She stormed right out and didn’t even give me the finger.

  ***

  Faye

  “Such a pretty bird. My Magpie. My beautiful Magpie.”

  He taps the crop underneath my chin until my eyes lift to his.

  “Smile for me, pretty bird.”

  My smile is hollow. Sad. Vincent doesn’t care, though, just as long as I’m smiling.

  “You know it’s all a show out there, don’t you? It’s theatre, Magpie, nothing more. They don’t mean anything to me. Not like you, not like my precious bird.”

  The gentle caress of his fingers on my cheek, and I’m kissing them. He pushes his thumb into my mouth.

  “Show me what you want, sweet bird.”

  I suck on him, my eyes hooded as I stare into the darkness in his. My lips make slurping noises, little suckles that make him gulp. I watch his throat move.

  “This is what matters... Only us... This is what’s real...”

  A tear spills down my cheek and I don’t make any effort to hide it. I can hear the revelry so close, the rhythmic waltz of sex and pain.

  “Is my pretty bird going to sing for the crowd? You break so beautifully, my sweet Faye. Such an exquisite gift. It would be a crime to keep you all to myself.”

  The crop on my skin, tickling along my collarbone, and down, to my naked breasts. I keep sucking on his thumb, and he groans his approval. It’s the sweetest sound. The only sound. “I know what you need, hungry girl.”

  He pulls away, wiping his thumb across my lips. A moment before the camera clicks. My eyes are heavy with tears. “Such beautiful sadness,” he whispers. “You look magical. Truly magical.”

  He fastens me into the mask, a half-face of black and white feathers and swirling glitter. I’m pulled to my feet, my hands so small in his.

  “Keep your eyes on me,” he smiles. “Remember, you sacrifice your body for my pleasure.” He kisses my cheek, and I’m smiling again. “Showtime,” he grins, and pulls open the curtain.

  So many eyes, so many hands, and I’m lost. I drop to my knees, cry out at the vicious fingers on my breasts and between my legs.

  A woman’s tongue against my lips. “She tastes so sweet,” she laughs. “Open wide.”

  Her fingers prise my mouth open and a dick fills it. My eyes dart around as I suck. Musky, thick and deep, my eyes stream as I retch, and people are laughing. My heart pounds as I catch sight of Vincent, he’s a few feet away, not far. I cry out for him, but it’s muffled by the cock in my throat. The bodies shift between us, and I see him more clearly.

  And her, I see her, too. The same woman it’s been every night this week.

  Her ass slams against his stomach as he fucks her, and she grunts like a pig, her big tits swinging under her. She’s biting her lip, and he’s pulling her hair, pounding her pussy as another man pounds mine.

  Our eyes meet and he smiles, blows me a kiss and puts his hand on his heart. “Beautiful,” he mouths. “My beautiful Magpie.”

  Someone stretches my arms, shackles me to a bar, and my legs are spread wide.

  “She’s crying.” Someone laughs. “How pretty. Let’s give her something to cry about...”

  I smile before the whip cracks, and keep my eyes open long enough to watch my lover come in another woman’s pussy. His face turns red, eyes screwed shut, and he’s groaning, pulling on her hair.

  Jealousy pangs fresh, all over again.

  Two years I’ve been in this place. Two years at his side, in his bed, in his arms.

  I’d begrudge nothing... not the parties, or the pain, nor the women wrapped around his cock, moaning as he fucks them, grinning as he spills his seed inside...

  If only he’d fuck me too.

  ***

  Faye

  I kicked off my heels in the taxi, blisters killing worse than any bruises. The dawn was already breaking on a chilly Sunday morning. I was knackered, exhausted, run ragged by a Saturday night shift behind the bar. It was heavy going, I must have walked ten miles and then some. Ten miles in six-inch stiletto heels. I don’t know how the other girls kept so bouncy.

  The taxi pulled up outside my hotel and I limped my way across the pavement. Reception was closed, and I let myself in through the dim foyer, creeping upstairs to my room. It was nice, clean. Cream and tasteful, without any clutter.

  I flopped on the bed, a starfish on the duvet, contemplating falling asleep where I was until my mobile started up. My heart leapt until I recognised the London code.

  “Hello?”

  “There’s more to bar work than swanning off as soon as the doors close.”

  I groaned. “It’s gone six a.m. I’m tired, Andy. Really tired.”

  “I’m wiping down your bar.”

  “I already wiped it down.”

  “You didn’t do a very good job of it.”

  “Sorry, Mr Perfect. Maybe you should take over the bar and I’ll piss about in the office all day.”

  “I don’t piss about.” He sounded tired. Grumpy.

  “Couldn’t this have waited until later?”

  I heard him take a breath. “You didn’t say goodbye.”

  “And?”

  “Are you leaving or not?”

  I draped an arm across my eyes to block out the light. “Is that what you want? Seriously?”

  “Are you fucking off again, Faye? Just answer the question.”

  I sighed. “I didn’t come by the office this evening because I didn’t want to see you. You don’t know when to stop with the mouth.”

  “Neither do you.”

  He had a fair point. “I’m not leaving. I’ll see you later.”

  I went for the cancel button but he was speaking again before I pressed it. “Why did you leave Italy?”

  I brought the handset back to my ear. “Sorry?”

  “What happened in Italy, Faye? Why did you come back?”

  The slur in his voice, only just detectable. “You’ve been drinking.”

  “Answer the question.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” I grabbed a pillow, propped it under my head and folded the duvet over me. “I’m going to sleep.”

  “How can I trust you won’t walk out again if I don’t know why you’re here?”

  “You’ll just have to take my word for it. We’re both adults, Andy, we’ve both got skeletons in the closet.”

  “The thing yesterday, what was that about?”

  “The sex, you mean?” My stomach fluttered. “It was about nothing. Forget it happened. I have.”

  “I think that’s a lie.”

  I stared up at the ceiling. “Is this a thinly veiled attempt at phone sex? I’m too tired for this shit.”

  He paused for a long time. “Come back to the club. We’ll drink whisky, you can tell me about Italy, and I’ll fuck you until we pass out.”

  My heart pounded. Mouth dry. “I’m already fucked until I pass out, Andy. Knackered. My feet are sore, and I’m already in bed.”

  “I’ll call you a taxi, and I’ll be waiting, right here. No dicking about, F
aye, are you in, or out?”

  I rolled onto my side, smiling into my pillow. “Goodnight, Andy. I’ll see you later.”

  It felt strangely liberating to end the call.

  ***

  Chapter Five

  Faye

  Andy punished me hard for my refusal. Not in a good way, either.

  Seven days straight. Seven days of corporate professionalism. Seven days on the bar with Topaz and hardly a word from Andy to either of us.

  He breezed by, barked out orders, and left us to it. Day after day after day.

  I took it at first, sucked it up and did my job. I learnt the ropes and kept the regulars smiling, resuming friendships with the old crowd and striking up new ones. My old friend, Raven, brought me into the loop on her burlesque night Thursdays, and together we tweaked old plans and made new ones. I met her girlfriend, Cara, and she threw some ideas into the pot for an Explicit Dirty Dancing contest, with a gold plated dildo trophy for the winners. We had great ideas, and lots of them. Perfect ideas for taking Club Explicit into a whole new era. A community era.

  I took them to Andy, but he merely grunted, unimpressed.

  As the second week started I’d had enough. More than enough. I was pissed off and riled up, and sick to fucking death of his dismissive sulking. I’d had a bad morning.

  A really bad morning.

  I didn’t grace him with a knock at the door. I charged in with purpose, armed with a can of polish, a feather duster and enough determination to pull down the Berlin wall single-handed. I pulled my old desk from the corner, dumping the printer, and shredder and piles of old paperwork on the floor, and then I cleaned it. Dusted it off with gusto as he watched me from across the room.

  “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “What does it look like?” I snapped. “I’m sick of playing barmaid. You pushed it too far.”

  “I haven’t even started yet.”

  “I’m a fifty-fifty partner, I’m done with your sulking.” I dragged the desk across the room until it lined up with his, just like old times. Then I wheeled the spare chair around, grabbed a handful of biros and an Explicit notepad from the stationery drawer. “Where can I get a phone?”

  “You don’t need a phone,” he grunted. “Or a desk.”

  “Fine. I’ll take yours.” I’d grabbed his handset before he could stop me, trailing it to my station and plonking it down on the corner.

  He scowled as he came to claim it back. “Don’t be so fucking childish. I need that.”

  “You’re the one who’s being childish,” I said. “I didn’t fuck you. So what? I was tired, I had blisters on my feet, and I was in bed. This is ridiculous, Andy. Fucking ridiculous. Maybe I did want to fuck you. Maybe I would have done, if you hadn’t been such a fucking prick about the whole thing. You could’ve just asked again. A different night, but that would have been too reasonable, wouldn’t it? Too easy?”

  “Have you finished? You think this is all because you said no to sex? Do I look like some kind of desperado to you?”

  “Isn’t it?”

  “No, of course not. I was drunk. You made the right call.”

  “I made a tired call.”

  “You said you’d work bar, you’re working bar.” He stole the phone back. “That’s what we agreed. That’s what you agreed.”

  “Not like this!” I hissed. “Pulling pints while you ignore me 24/7.”

  “And what did you expect it to be like? Us holding hands and skipping about the place like nothing ever happened? This isn’t the fucking Waltons. Get back to the bar, Faye, do your fucking job.”

  I folded my arms. “My job is here.”

  “We played for it, you lost. A deal’s a deal.”

  “So, we play again.”

  “Nice try.”

  “Don’t do this.” I slammed my palms on the desk. “I’m good at what I do, that’s why we went into business. I know what I’m talking about. I have ideas, good creative ideas. Don’t fucking ignore me, Andy. I won’t be fucking ignored!”

  “Drink delivery arrives midday. You can rearrange the spirits. Get as creative as you fucking like.”

  “I’m not arranging the fucking spirits! I’m not leaving this room. It’s my office, too!”

  He tugged the desk away from me, angling it back towards the corner until I slapped his hands and attacked his fingers. “Stop it, Faye. You’re making a fool of yourself.” I fought him like a kid, clinging onto the desk leg like a limpet, holding tight as he tried to shove it back where it came from. I gave it up with a sigh, yanking his tie in frustration so hard it almost toppled him off balance. “What the hell’s got into you?”

  The messages on my phone, Andy. Ten of them in a row. Ten messages from him, all this morning. Begging, pleading, promising. But I don’t want to go back there, I need something to cling onto, a reason for staying.

  I gave up the fight, flopping back in my chair. “Nothing, Andy. Just nothing.”

  “Faye? What the hell’s this about?”

  “You,” I lied. “It’s about you. The way you treat me like a second class citizen. The way you ignore me.”

  “I treat you just like anyone else.”

  I scowled to hide the upset. “But I’m not just anyone else. I’m your business partner.”

  “Who walked away three years ago. You walked. Don’t preach to me about being ignored, Faye, you’ve got a fucking cheek.”

  “Yes, yes, yes. I fucking walked. And then I walked back.” I picked up a biro from the floor, twirled it in my fingers, round and round. It took him by surprise when I launched it at the wall. It spotted black ink across the magnolia, and Andy’s face looked like I’d given him a slap. “I’m done. I’ll call a lawyer, we’ll get this sorted properly.”

  He folded his arms, blocked my path before I’d even shifted. “That’s absurd. It’ll cost a fucking fortune, drag us both through a load of shit that I quite frankly don’t have time for.”

  “I just want a desk, and a phone and a fucking desk tidy... Is that too much to ask?”

  “It wouldn’t work. I don’t share.” He straightened his tie, adjusted his collar. Checked himself out in the mirror on the far wall. “We’d argue day and night over fucking paperclips.”

  “How about we just take it in turns?” I looked up at him, and my eyes were welling, I could feel it. Too fragile, much too fragile. “Think back to when we started, to all the ideas we had. All the ideas I had. You used to like them, you used to listen.”

  “That was a long fucking time ago.”

  “You remember, though?”

  “Of course I remember. I remember everything. I’m the one who stayed.”

  “You wouldn’t even need to be here when it was my go. Take some time off, go on holiday. I can handle the place, I swear.”

  His eyes were hostile. “I’ve been here seven days a week since we opened. Every day, Faye. Every. Single. Day. You think I’m just going to abandon ship because you want to play Club Manager? Not pissing likely. What’s going to happen when you get bored and flit off again?”

  “I’m not going to.” I groaned. “Jesus, Andy, give me a chance. Please.”

  His hands were in his hair as he paced up and down.

  I dug my phone from my pocket, stomach turning to find another message icon. I cleared it without reading, then looked up lawyers on Google. Commercial lawyers. I dialled the first number I found. “Hello? Yes, my name is Faye Devere, I have a company law dispute I’d like to speak with someone about...” Andy’s face turned white before my eyes. “Yes, a limited company, that’s right. Club Explicit Ltd. The company number? I’ll just grab it for you.” I was reaching for the printed notepad when Andy grabbed the handset from my hand and cancelled the call in a heartbeat, eyes black as coal.

  “Don’t,” he said. “No fucking lawyers, Faye. It’ll bring a whirlwind of trouble.”

  “You don’t want to play it out, and you don’t want lawyers. What do you want?”

&nbs
p; “I’m thinking,” he snapped. I gave him time, eyes drawn to the muscles in his thighs as he paced. “I won’t share and you won’t back down. So we play for it. Seven day terms. That’s all we ever play for. If one of us wins three weeks in a row the fourth is a moot call. It goes to the other. If you let me down, Faye, I swear I’ll never work with you again.”

  “Seven days.” I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “It’s a short enough timeframe that either of us can fuck off and get some space if we need it.”

  “Fine. I like it.” I tipped my head back, stared at the ceiling. “You want to do the playroom again? You can go first.”

  He shook his head. “We need another way. Something less... invasive.”

  “Draw straws?” I said. “Flip a coin?”

  A flicker of inspiration and he was off like a shot. “I have just the thing.”

  ***

  Andy

  I hid the twisting of my gut behind a veneer of calm. The woman was wired, fucked up somehow. I flashed her a look over my shoulder as I rummaged in my drawer. She wasn’t close enough to peer inside, thank fuck.

  This power share was a non-event, it would never work. A short-lived novelty and it would be all over. I’d be calling my own lawyer and ironing out the cracks. The cracks. Chasms, more like. In the meantime I’d play the game. Maybe she’d be long gone by the time necessity came calling.

  The idea filled me with relief and dread in equal measure.

  I found what I was looking for and held it up with a flourish. “Lucky coin.”

  Recognition flashed across her eyes. “I haven’t seen that in a long time.”