Hidden Barriers

by Sara Shirley

  Stone’s parole hearing was bumped up to next Tuesday. Call me if you need me at all. Love you.

  My legs give out from underneath me as I sink to the floor. My eyes remain fixed on the screen as the words continue to repeat through my mind.

  Bumped up.

  How is that possible? Arms quickly wrap around me as I stare at nothing. The girls are saying something, but I don’t hear them. Someone grabs my phone from my clenched hands, and I see Lucy moving about in the kitchen, but I’m still not listening to anyone or anything.

  Next Tuesday.

  He can be on the streets again next Tuesday, and there is still the smallest of chances he will be looking for revenge on me. After next Tuesday, if he is released, what am I going to do to make sure I never run into him again? The fear of the unknown causes my body to tremble in fear.

  I have no idea how, but Josh’s voice invades my thoughts from the other night in my bedroom, and I feel myself calm just thinking about him. Before I know it, I’m in my bed with Rose stroking my hair while Lucy is on the phone with someone in the hall. My eyes grow heavy, as Josh’s face is the last vision I see before falling asleep.

  I pull my car into her driveway, noticing the lights on in the house and an unfamiliar car parked outside. I don’t give it a second thought, because honestly, I just don’t give a rat’s ass. She needs to understand what we had before is over, done, finished.

  Turning off my Jeep, I get out and briskly take the steps to reach her front door. Ringing the doorbell at least ten times, I see a flurry of activity through the frosted glass of the door and her voice coursing through the air. “I’m coming! I’m coming!” she wails while moving quickly until I know she’s at the door. She pulls the door wide open in a hurry, and her face immediately stills at my presence.

  She stands there, wrapped in a bed sheet, clearly naked underneath. Her hair screams I just got fucked. “Josh, what are you doing here?” she questions as I make my way into her foyer. “Oh, I don’t know, Tarryn. From the looks of you, I should be asking you how many other guys you’ve been fucking on top of just me, but I couldn’t care less about that right now.”

  “Josh.” She shuts the door and moves closer to me as she adjusts her sheet so her tits are propped up for my viewing. “You know you can’t just stop in whenever you feel like it. You never responded to my text. I figured you blew me off again, so I called someone else to come over. I’m sure he’d be willing to share or join in, if you want him to. I’m always up for adding some new kink to the bedroom.”

  “Enough, Tarryn!” I roar as my voice echoes throughout the cathedral ceiling. “What part of ‘we’re done’ didn’t you understand days ago?” I continue as my pulse races, and my tone deepens. “I told you to never text me again, that I’ve moved on. Then, today you send me another text and that picture on my phone. Never again! You got that, Tarryn? From here on out, you’re blocked from my phone. I’ve found someone else, and from the looks of it, so have you.” I laugh with an edge as I glare at her.

  Movement at the top of the staircase withdraws my attention from the conversation with Tarryn. A man stands there wearing only his boxer briefs, leaning against the wall with his shoulder. “Everything okay down there, Tarryn?” he asks.

  Tarryn turns to look up at him. “Yeah, Luke, everything is fine. I’ll be back up in a minute,” she answers.

  Luke moves slightly before gesturing his pointed hand toward me. “He’s not joining us, is he? I mean, I’m all about trying new things, but that, is not going to happen, Tarryn.”

  Staring back up at the guy, I say, “Don’t worry, dude. I’m just leaving. She’s all yours.” I turn back to Tarryn, pointing a finger at her. “You don’t ever attempt to get in touch with me again. Do you understand? I’m not coming back here, so you better go play nice with your little friend upstairs ‘cuz this ship has sailed.” Walking to the front door, I hear Tarryn clear her throat just as my hand is on the handle.

  “I hope she’s worth it, Josh.”

  I turn my head slightly in her direction. With scorn laced in my tone, I reply, “She’s worth more than you and your house full of money and pretentious life any day of the week.”

  I hear her gasp at my insult, but never turn back to look at her face before shutting the door behind me and getting into my Jeep to return home.

  For the most part, the drive back home is quiet. I have a missed call from Courtney that is rather vague. Something about thanking her later, but for whatever reason, I have no idea. I continue to drive around town for a while just to clear my head and try to think of the best way to fix the mess I’ve created with Sam.

  Nothing I’ve been thinking will be enough to make her forgive me. I wanted to call her almost immediately after getting back into my Jeep after leaving Tarryn’s, but I knew in my heart she wouldn’t want to talk to me.

  As I’m about to pull onto Main Street in downtown, my phone lights up, and Sam’s name flashes across the screen. My eyes narrow, thinking I must be seeing things. I never would have assumed Sam would be the one to call me, not after this afternoon.

  After sliding my finger across the screen, I place the phone to my ear. “Hey, Sam,” I answer, not knowing quite what else to say.

  An unfamiliar voice comes over the line. “Josh, it’s Lucy. Listen, I think Sam might really need you, and with her brother too far away right now, you’re the only one who knows what she’s been through with Stone. Can you come by the house right now?”

  “Lucy, what happened? Is she hurt?” I stammer, not allowing her time to respond. “Fuck. Lucy, hang tight. I’ll be there in a couple of minutes, okay?” I’m pretty sure I hung up on the poor girl, but at this point, I don’t care. I punch the Jeep into gear and fly in the opposite direction I was heading simply because Sam needs me.

  I dream that Stone finds me. Out of the blue, he’s here. His piercing eyes stare back at me as he slithers to me like a snake. My body can’t move. I keep trying to move my legs, but they won’t budge. In a flash, he’s beside me, and I scream. I scream as if my life depends on it, but nobody is here to help me. Stone breaks out into a cold laugh as his hands creep back to my neck. “I came back to finish what I started.”

  My breathing escalates, and my arms flail. I’m suddenly immersed into a full-blown panic attack until a soothing voice filters through my dream. “Sam, wake up. It’s just a dream. C’mon, Sam. Wake up.”

  Josh?

  All of a sudden Stone disappears from in front of me, and the voice keeps calling for me to wake up. My eyes flutter open, and I’m back in my darkened room with only the table lamp glowing. Then, my eyes focus on the man hunched over my bedside. His voice is what brought me out of my nightmare. He reaches out to gently push a stray hair from my face. “There she is. I was wondering when you’d wake up.”

  My eyes blink rapidly as I realize in that moment, I need him in my life more than I ever knew. He was here when I needed him the most. How could I have ever pushed him away so quickly? I was too quick to judge before I knew all the answers. “Josh? You’re here?” I ask, slowly sitting up in my bed.

  “Yeah, sugar, I’m here, and I’m not leaving until I know you’re all right,” he replies as he lowers himself to sit on the edge of my bed.

  “Why are you here? I mean, how did you find out?” I question, knowing I haven’t talked to him since he left Vines.

  “Lucy called me a while ago. I came as soon as I heard,” he says as he pulls his gaze away from me, resting his elbows on his legs and bowing his head. Rubbing his hands over his face before he turns slightly, he still doesn’t look at me. “Sam, about earlier. You have to know I never meant for you to find out that way. I know I should have told you about Tarryn beforehand, but I wasn’t thinking. You just—you mean so much to me, and I couldn’t ruin what we had.”

  “Josh…” I start to tell him about Courtney explaining everything, but he reaches out to grab my hand, stopping me before I can continue.

  “Sam,
please let me get this out before you say anything more. I know I screwed up, and I know I handled this whole thing with Tarryn the wrong way. But, after tonight, I promise you she won’t be a problem for us anymore.”

  “What did you do Josh?” I curiously ask.

  “I just came from her house after setting things straight. I promise she’ll never call, text, or do anything after tonight. I told her I found someone else who means more to me than anyone I’ve ever met, and I wasn’t about to have her around to screw it up again. What you and I had meant more than a couple of nights with her. Shit, that is so clear to me now that I can’t believe I screwed up what we had.”

  I lean forward to move closer to him. His head moves to watch me attentively. Resting my hand on his, I say, “What we have.”

  “What?” he questions, not understanding the meaning behind my words.

  “You said ‘what we had.’ What you meant to say was ‘what we have,’” I emphasize my last word as my thumb rubs over the back of his hand. Josh’s eyes widen when he realizes that I’m not done working on what this is between us. With a broad grin, he grabs both of my hands in his as he sits now with one leg up on my bed, facing me.

  “I don’t understand. Back at Vines, you said…What made you change your mind?”

  “Your sister made me realize that despite your faults, you are worth taking a chance on.”

  “Fuckin’ Courtney. That’s what she meant.” He laughs.

  “What’s so funny?” I ask as the mood in the room begins to lighten.

  With a smile that lights up the room, he moves closer to me. “She sent me a text before, saying I could thank her later. I had no idea what she meant, but I do now. So, you…me… Are we good?”

  With a deep breath, I find my voice. “Josh, I can get past what you did over the years, but what you did that night, I need to know it’s never going to happen again for this to work between us.”

  “Sam, you have no idea how torn I was over that night. I never… shit! Let’s just say the situation with her has been taken care of. From here forward, it’s just you for me. Nobody else, I promise.”

  “Okay, but if you so much as do anything like that again, I will have no problem making you suffer. Besides, you really don’t want me to get your own sister to beat you up, do you?”

  “Seriously, do you think I’m afraid of my sister?” He scoffs at the idea. He’s too busy laughing to notice my fist connecting with his bicep. “Shit, Sam! What the hell was that for?” Josh grunts as he rubs his arm tenderly.

  With a scowl on my face, I point a finger at him before I say, “That’s for what you did with her and for thinking your sister can’t beat you up.”

  “Fine, I deserved that.” He pauses. “Sam, really, what happened tonight that Lucy had to call me?” Sensing my apprehension and pushing up on the bed, he slides up so his back is resting against the headboard. He pulls me between his outstretched legs, cradling me in his arms against his chest. The soft vibration of his voice against my ear soothes me. “Talk to me, Sam. What happened?”

  I close my eyes as he continues to comfort me. “I got a text from Drew. Stone’s parole hearing has been pushed up to next Tuesday. A part of me already knows he’ll be released, and for the first time in three years, I have to fear he may actually come after me.”

  Josh releases a hissed breath. “Everything will be fine. If he comes anywhere near you, he’ll violate the restraining order, and he’ll go back to jail. Plus, he’ll have to go through me to get anywhere near you.”

  His words do nothing to make me worry less. Yes, I feel protected, but even Josh can’t protect me twenty-four-seven. He has to work, and so do I. Wrapping my arms tightly around his chest, I know I’m safe for now. “Josh, I hope you’re right. Something tells me if Stone finds me, he won’t care about that restraining order. He’ll go back to jail if it means he finishes what he intended years ago.”

  Pulling up my chin, I look into his eyes before he places a soft kiss on my lips. “Then, I guess I’m going to have to actually do my job, and I will protect you with everything I have in me. Do you trust me enough to know I will do everything I can to keep you safe?”

  “I can’t let you put your life on the line for me,” I whisper with uncertainty in my voice. Goose bumps form on my arms and a new, overwhelming feeling I’m still unsure of forces its way through my body.

  “Sam, I will do whatever I can to make sure you remain safe, because if you haven’t figured it out by now, you should know I’m falling for you, hard and fast. I think I’m seriously falling for you.”

  Warm tears fall from my eyes and run over my cheeks. I’m completely speechless as Josh confesses his true feelings. In just a couple of short months, we’ve grown so attached that it’s hard to believe it’s come to this stage already.

  With blurry eyes, I gaze into his eyes and see the truth I’ve refused to admit to myself for a while now. Running my hand over his cheek, I lean in and kiss him as my emotions overpower me. I push my tongue into his mouth as his hand at the nape of my neck pulls me deeper. My heart pounds through my chest, and my pulse races so fast I have to pull back to catch my breath.

  I rest my forehead on his before uttering the words that I never thought I’d say in my life. That is, until this man altered my senses and turned my world upside down. “I think I’m falling for you, too.”

  My work phone buzzes in my coat pocket as the sun begins seeping through the bedroom window. Slowly pulling away from Sam, who is snuggled tightly into my side, I move across the room, grabbing the phone and flipping it open to view the incoming text.

  Troopers needed ASAP for road coverage. All off-duty troopers report immediately.

  I guess I’m going into work. Tossing my phone back into my coat pocket, I make my way over to Sam, who is still fast asleep in bed. I throw on my sneakers that are by the side of the bed before leaning over to admire the quiet state of her face. Leaning down to her ear, I softly whisper, “Sam, I’ve got to head to work. I’ll call you later, okay?”

  “Mmmm Hmmm,” she mumbles, still not awake. I find a piece of paper and pen on her bureau and write a short note, saying I was called into work.

  I place a warm kiss on her temple before moving away. I hear her rustle in the bed and then moan softly as I stand at her door. Turning, I see she’s still asleep, but a smile forms at the edges of her mouth. I barely make out the words as she murmurs, “I love you.”

  A grin spreads across my face at the honesty of her words. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I love that girl, too. She may not know she just said them aloud, but I heard them loud and clear. Every girl I have ever slept with in my past is all forgotten now. From this point forward, she’s all that matters in my life.

  Years might have passed while I never realized how stupid I was not to move on from breaking up with Sue, but given the beautiful woman in front of me right now, I’d have suffered another ten years if it meant I’d still end up with Sam. I know now I have to finally make amends with my decision and apologize to not only to her, but also my family for distancing myself for far too long.

  Pulling Sam’s bedroom door shut behind me, I quickly make my way to the stairs. I am almost to the front door when the girls catch my ears. Kim’s voice is the first thing to stop me from going any farther.

  “Yo! Officer McSteamy Pants, need some coffee before you go?”

  Turning to head to the kitchen, I see Kim holding out a travel mug filled with steaming coffee, enticing me. I’m hooked the second the aroma hits my nostrils. “Thank you, Kim,” I say before turning to the others. “Good morning, ladies. I can’t stay long; I’ve been ordered into work. Please, tell Sam I’ll call her later.” Twisting the cover on the mug, I turn to head back toward the front door. Before I get there, Lucy stops me.

  “How is she?” she questions.

  “She’s better, Lucy. If anything happens again, please call me.”

  “Josh!” Lucy shouts, as I’m about to open my Jeep door. �
�Thanks again for helping her.”

  “I’m not going to let anything happen to that woman up there. She means too much to me,” I say as I hop into the Jeep and put the key into the ignition. Turning on the wipers to remove the March dew from the window, I see Lucy standing there in the doorway, smiling at me with her hands cupped over her heart.

  Shit.

  I just professed my deep feelings for Sam aloud, didn’t I? Well, that information should be spreading like wildfire very soon. As long as Courtney doesn’t get wind of it, I should be safe for a while.

  Sunday rolls around in a flash. I owe my family not only an appearance at dinner, but also an apology. I have spent almost every ounce of free time with Sam since Monday that even I think she is sick of seeing me.

  Everything has been working out between the two of us now that we finally know what direction we are headed. That direction typically has us rolling around naked in my bed once she closes up shop at Vines. We’ve connected even more than I ever imagined, physically as well as emotionally. I have to say sex with Sam is off the charts amazing, and I’m glad Nick doesn’t mind my half-naked ass walking around the townhouse after listening to the noises coming from my room.

  While pulling into my parents’ driveway, I see everyone’s cars are already here. My palms suddenly become sweaty at the notion of what I have to get off my chest today. I had hoped Sam would be next to me to give me the strength I need to get through this, but she is working this afternoon at the bar. It also isn’t exactly an ideal time for her to meet Sue.

  Can you picture it? So, here I am telling Sue I’ve basically loved her since I was nineteen, and bam, nine years later, she gets knocked up by another dude, and I meet Sam, the new and true love of my life. Oh, and she just so happens to be sitting next to me. Sam, meet Sue. Sue, meet Sam. Can you say awkward?