Hotbox

by Delia Delaney

  “You’re the first,” I admitted.

  He was overjoyed, as I hoped he would be. “I feel honored,” he said. “So you haven’t talked to her father, yet? Or is that something you don’t plan on doing?”

  “No, I plan on talking to him, but not until I’m actually going to ask her.”

  He thought about that for a moment. “Then what is the reason for telling me in advance?”

  “I need your help.”

  He opened his eyes with surprise, and his face betrayed his eagerness. “How much do you need?”

  “What? Oh, no, I don’t need money. I already have the ring.”

  “Oh. Then what is it I can do for you?”

  I took a slow, silent breath. “I can’t marry her until…until I’m out of all this. I can’t live two lives. I need you to just…cut me loose. Please.”

  The room was completely quiet and he sat there, motionless, for quite a long time. I had no idea if he was offended, if he was thinking about my request, or if he was plotting how to have me killed. It was a painful moment for me because my entire future depended on his answer. I had asked it of him before, but this time I was truly desperate for the answer I wanted.

  Finally the silence was killing me. “Please,” I begged again. “I’ve never wanted something so bad in my entire life. I just- I can’t marry her if I’m doing things that could affect her future. I can’t have a family with her if I’m gonna be tossed in jail someday.”

  He seemed amused by that, but he still didn’t speak.

  “Just tell me what I can do to make this happen. Or if there’s—”

  “Tyler,” he finally said, holding his hand up. I shut up and sat in silence, trying to read his face. It usually never changed much; only to portray a certain emotion he wanted people to see. Right now he had no expression whatsoever. “Remember when you told me a while back that you didn’t owe me anything?”

  My heart sank and I swallowed, sure he was going to use it against me.

  “Well, do you remember?” he prodded.

  “Yes,” I replied reluctantly.

  “Well,” he smiled, “you were right. You don’t owe me anything. You actually have done quite a bit for me—perhaps more than others. And in ways…that you might not understand.” He folded his hands on the table in front of him. “You’ve known me for…eight years now? You’ve never asked me for anything. Well, except to be removed from the organization, but you had asked it in such a way that you assumed it wasn’t possible. But now… This time you’ve asked with real intent. You might not know this, but others that have asked to be removed…really were removed,” he chuckled. “Permanently.”

  I understood the implication and barely nodded my awareness.

  “The look on your face implies that you think I could do that to you. Is that true? You actually think I would want to hurt you?”

  I shrugged. “You’ve threatened me before.”

  “That’s different. Those are motivations. It’s what gets me what I want. Parents threaten their children all the time.”

  “And you were willing to come between us in order to get what you wanted. That’s not wanting to hurt me?”

  He briefly bowed his head. “I’m very sorry, Tyler. She was just a girl to me then. Now…she’s something more. She’s your future.”

  “So you don’t want to come between us?”

  “What I want often changes,” he smiled. “Whatever works for me at the time is what I use. Parents tend to use the most effective method to get their children to obey. If you don’t take away something important to them, then they have no reason to listen.”

  Other than wishing he’d stop referring to himself as my parent, I really didn’t know what to think. He still hadn’t given any indication about what he was going to do with my request.

  “When would you want to get married?” he asked.

  “It depends. I guess I’ve been dragging my heels because of…because of certain issues holding me back. But I don’t want to be held back anymore. I want to feel like I can get married without any reservation.”

  He slowly nodded, but he had a distant look in his eyes. “I still wish your mother was alive,” he said quietly.

  I didn’t want to hear about it again, but I remained silent and let him reminisce.

  “She was beautiful—long brown hair, beautiful brown eyes. She was the kindest, sweetest woman that I’ve ever known.” He sighed and looked at me. “You look so much like her, Tyler. If I had given up the life that I had, I could have kept her. You could have truly been my son,” he smiled. “But,” he shrugged, “things worked out differently. I was gone so much… She found someone else. I easily could have taken care of the problem,” he lightly laughed, “but I didn’t have the heart, believe it or not. Or maybe I did. She seemed happy, so I counted my miserable losses—which were many—and moved on. When she died… I actually wept. It was very hard for me. I had this notion that she and your father weren’t going to stay together for long, so I was planning to get her back. I’ll always regret my choice because I loved her, but didn’t want to admit it. I was very selfish.”

  I knew the history he had with my mother. It was the reason he’d kept close tabs on me my entire life. He felt he owed it to her.

  “Olivia would have wanted you to be happy, Tyler. I tried to make up for your father’s insufficiencies; hopefully I did to a degree.”

  “Until you brought me into a world I had no desire to be a part of.”

  I cringed, instantly sorry that I might have altered the course of our conversation. I wanted him to feel regretful and cut me loose, not get on his bad side.

  “The first time you had to come home and witness your father begging for his life was what brought you into my world, Tyler. We’ve been over this. I’m a businessman. It’s the only world I know. I was an orphan from day one. When I was well into my teens I was brought into a family—a business family—and finally felt a part of something. Once you entered my world, I only wanted the same for you.”

  “But it’s not what I want,” I replied, trying to be firm and pleading at the same time.

  As he studied me I was debating whether or not I should continue my plea, or wait until he led the conversation again. He looked at his watch, which caused me to do the same. It was almost five o’clock.

  “You should go,” he told me. “I don’t want to keep you from being with your fiancée.”

  My heart thudded at the implication and I wondered if he meant what I thought he meant. I sat there frozen, wanting him to say the words I had been waiting for. I believe he was aware of that since I was staring at him, probably with a great amount of hope in my eyes.

  But what he said wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear.

  “Tyler, there are some things I need to take care of first. Then I can have an answer for you.”

  I felt myself deflate.

  “But,” he continued, “I want what you want, and I’m willing to make it happen. Give me some time?”

  I was nodding right away, and the stupid feeling of gratitude was beginning to confuse me. This man had caused me so much grief. How could I be feeling grateful for his kindness? But this was something very significant to me. If he could cut me loose and let me live a normal life, maybe I could find a way to forgive all that had happened.

  “Thank you,” I found myself saying. “Uh, let me know as soon as you can. Please?”

  With a smile he nodded. “Yes, Tyler. I’ll be thinking of you. I always am.”

  Without wanting to dwell on that last thought, I quickly left. I drove by City Hall, but noticed Jayden’s car was already gone. It was five-twenty when I got home, so I gave her a call to see where she was.

  “I’m at Shawn’s,” she said. “We’re just going over some things. Do you want to head over here?”

  “Nah, that’s okay. Take care of your work. I’m heading home so I can shower.”

  “Hmm, maybe I don’t have work to do.”

&nbs
p; I laughed but said, “Let me know when you’re done.”

  “Okay. Hey, I have a question for you. Do you think you’d be available to go out of town this Sunday?”

  “Sounds intriguing. What’s up your sleeve?”

  “I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.”

  “Ah, I see. Let’s put it this way: I’m all yours, so if you want to spoil me by running away together, then I’m all for it.”

  With a laugh she replied, “I didn’t say anything about me being with you.”

  “Oh, ouch! Okay, so I jumped the gun on that one. Then let me rephrase my answer: If I get to spend an entire day with you out of town, then I’m all for it.”

  We talked for another minute as I was walking through my front door. I heard Shawn getting impatient with her in the background, so after laughing at her retort to him, I told her she should get back to work.

  When I had showered and changed, I sat on my bed, holding the ring in my hand. I had no idea how I wanted to propose to her. I thought up all kinds of silly, romantic propositions, but none of them appealed to me. I also thought of some outrageous, creative ones too. The problem was that none of them were anything like me, and I didn’t want to do it in a way that wasn’t me. Plus, Jayden was very reserved and I didn’t want to do anything that would embarrass her, or make her uncomfortable. She liked simplicity, and I was very grateful for that.

  I thought of the restaurant on the river; the night we shared how much we loved each other. That scene wasn’t really my style either, but the night was amazing—and I’d give anything to see her dressed like that again. I wondered if I should replicate the evening, but end it with a ring. She mentioned that was when she first felt I asked her to marry me. It was, so why not do it again and make it official?

  Next weekend we were going camping again. I’d taken two Saturdays off in a row—which was okay with Lou, as long as he knew in advance. I would probably still be waiting on word from Olevsky by then, and I couldn’t guarantee anything right now. I had the ring and I had an idea of how I wanted to ask her, but I still had to see if I was going to have the future that I wanted.

  Jayden came over an hour later. We talked about going out for the evening, but we decided to stay in. However, ten o’clock found us on the baseball field at the college. We had gone for a walk since it was so warm outside, and ended up where it all began. We sat on the bleachers reminiscing, from the first time we saw each other to the last game of the season. I learned long ago that Jayden had been to two other games before the one I finally saw her at. She admitted to giving Cali a hard time about coming to see Devin when she herself was doing the same thing because of me.

  “Oh, I was so surprised about how I felt the first time I saw you. I’ve seen cute guys before,” she smiled, teasing me, “but you… You made my heart race. I guess I didn’t know what ‘hot’ was until then. It wasn’t until the third game that I thought you saw me. I knew I was staring at you, and you were so kind to smile back at an obsessed fan,” she said, softly pinching my cheek. “I wanted to talk to you after the game, but Cali was in a hurry to get to work that afternoon. I was too shy anyway, so when you walked by me at the next game, I guess it was meant to be.”

  “Yes, it was,” I agreed, running my fingers through her hair. We started kissing each other while we sat on the bleachers, and it quickly intensified.

  “Ty…” she smiled.

  I shrugged and continued to kiss her. “Why so shy?”

  “I have no idea,” she laughed. “You never know what kind of strange people show up in ball parks in the middle of the night.”

  I laughed and kept kissing her, but toned it down a bit. Before long she picked up the intensity again.

  “What, change your mind?” I teased.

  With a toying smile she said, “Maybe.”

  “Maybe? Well, I need to know, lady, so I can behave accordingly.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  The park was fairly crowded the next day. We arrived after noon and there were several people listening to a country band that was playing. Jayden didn’t mind country music if the vocals were pleasing, so we sat under a tree in the shade and listened for a while. We each saw people that we knew, but the amount of people that knew Jayden was ridiculous. Every five minutes someone was coming up to her to say hi. It was like that almost everywhere we went.

  A lot of spectators at the park were lying down listening to the music, so after a while, we did the same thing. I was on my back with my arm behind my head, and she laid her head against me and covered part of her face with my hat.

  “Maybe I won’t be recognized,” she said.

  It did actually work and we were able to listen until the current band was done thirty minutes later. There was an hour break in between every band that played so we walked down the street and ate lunch at a small café. Each of her friends had called her throughout the day to see who was doing what. Matt and Stacie ended up meeting us at the café, and after that, we all walked back to the park together. Matt had a friend that was playing in the next band, so he met up with him and introduced us. His name was Dirk, and he introduced us to his three other band mates. I didn’t particularly care for Jarett, the guy that kept looking Jayden over.

  With a creepy smile he asked, “You play with Mason, don’t you? I recognize you,” he added, looking her over again.

  “Yeah, I do,” she replied guardedly, seeming to sense his personality. Then she reverted into her usual mode of avoiding any further conversation with him. She told Matt to give her a call if he and Stacie wanted to meet up with us.

  “You can hang out with the band,” Jarett smiled. “I’ll take good care of you. Especially if you bring that other chick you play with; she’s pretty hot, too.”

  She just walked away, taking my hand in the process before I could even say anything. As we left, he added one more remark that made me turn around.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Jayden said, pulling my arm to prevent me from going back. She continued to lead me away and added, “Matt will take care of it.”

  I glanced back and sure enough Matt was in the guy’s face, and Dirk was fighting to separate them.

  I shook my head. “You need a personal bodyguard. That would keep the guys away.”

  “No, I just need to be married,” she replied. As soon as she said it she clamped her hand over her mouth. “I didn’t say that,” she mumbled through her fingers. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry for what?” I asked, surprised that she seemed so worried.

  She removed her hand. “I promised I wouldn’t mention it again, remember? I’m sorry,” she said again, sliding her arms around me.

  “You don’t need to be sorry,” I almost laughed. “I’m actually surprised you’ve held off this long,” I teased.

  She playfully slapped my arm and we sat down under the tree we were under earlier. I looked ahead to where Matt and Stacie were parting from Dirk and his remaining band mates.

  “So do you always let Matt fight your battles?” I asked with a smile. “I thought that bothered you.”

  “If he didn’t like it so much, I would mind quite a bit.”

  Matt seemed to know right where we were, and he and Stacie joined us under the tree. The incident wasn’t even mentioned again and the four of us spent the next hour and a half hanging out and listening to the music from a distance. Shawn and Josh had been in the park throughout the day and they ended up meeting up with us by the time the next band hit the stage. Cali and Silvia joined the group, and eventually Chris after getting off work. The group made quite a noticeable lump in the grass and many people knew someone or other in our pile of friends. Our gathering had multiplied immensely by the time Jayden wanted to head home to get ready for the show.

  But apparently she wanted Cali to take her home, not me.

  “You don’t mind, do you? It’s girly stuff,” she smiled.

  “Oh, I don’t want to interfere with that,” I assured her.


  So after kissing me goodbye, she left the park with Cali and Stacie. Matt and I began talking, and before long, it was just the two of us. Josh and Silvia decided to wander around together, Shawn was flirting with a group of girls, and Chris was on the phone some distance away. I was very comfortable around Matt. He’d always been pretty nice to me and we had a lot in common. He started talking about the Camaro he was working on with his brother, complaining that Corey was always too busy to help him.

  “I don’t think he’s interested anymore,” Matt finally said. He shrugged. “Oh, well.”

  “What’s left to do on it?” I asked.

  With a laugh he said, “Too much. But…as much as I like working on it, I really don’t know as much as I’d like to.” With a glance my way he hinted, “I need an expert to help me out.”

  He was holding back a smile when I replied, “Is that your way of asking for my help?”

  “I would love your help, but I know you’re pretty busy so…”

  “Well I’d love to take a look at it. Maybe then I can let you know what I’m able to do.”

  “Really? That’d be awesome.”

  After discussing it for another minute we decided that the girls were probably going to be at least another hour. Matt’s brother lived a half-mile away, so we ended up walking to his house to see the car.

  “If this is your car, why isn’t it at your house?” I asked him.

  He gave me a funny look. “Stacie won’t let me put it in the garage. Besides,” he grunted, lifting up the door to the detached garage, “Corey’s shop is already set up for it.”

  We went right into talking shop. In between looking at the car and discussing what needed to be done, I learned a lot more about Matt, and it was obvious we had more in common than just our interest in cars. I actually ended up sharing that my father was an alcoholic because Matt admitted that his stepdad was. However, Matt’s stepdad was more prone to destroy property and things around him when he was drunk. He didn’t imply that his dad was abusive to his family in any way, so I kept my own experiences to myself.