Hotbox

by Delia Delaney

  She put her arms around my neck and kissed me. Everything about her seemed to fit my life so perfectly. She made me laugh all the time; she was thoughtful and considerate; she was sassy, yet sometimes just downright feisty; she was intelligent and witty; she was sweet and sincere. She was my best friend. I couldn’t wait to marry her, to have a family with her. Just the idea of seeing her every night and every morning sent a thrill through me, and marrying her was like the final piece to the puzzle. I didn’t know what direction my life would go career-wise, but I did know that Jayden belonged with me, and I was so thankful to have her in my life.

  On our way back through the reception we stopped at one of the ice sculptures.

  “I wonder what one of these things cost,” Jayden said, gazing at it. “Probably the price of my Washburn,” she smiled.

  “I couldn’t even tell you. I wonder what this entire wedding cost.”

  She shrugged. “I can’t even imagine. Megan told me that she had planned certain parts of the wedding, and then her mom would basically triple it. Like the ice sculptures… Megan wanted the swan, and her mom ordered two more. The menu was pretty basic, and then her mom special ordered all the foreign dishes. The floral arrangements on the table? They started off being just a third that size. And the orchestra was just supposed to be a quartet, and her mom hired an entire ensemble.”

  “Wow. I guess money wasn’t an option.”

  “No,” she smiled, “they’re pretty well off. And Megan’s their only daughter. At least I can guarantee my dad won’t be like that,” she laughed.

  “Mmm, I don’t know. I can see your dad fittin’ the bill for anything you might want.”

  “Yeah, I guess. But I can think of better things to the spend money on. I’m sure a wedding like this is memorable—I’ll certainly remember Jack and Megan’s wedding for quite a while,” she laughed, “—but it’s not really my thing. I already told you what I wanted. Hopefully it’s still okay with you after seeing all this…lavishness.”

  “It’s more than okay. I think what we decided is perfect for us.”

  She smiled, almost seeming relieved. Out of the blue she said, “I dare you to lick the swan.”

  “What?” I laughed. “The ice sculpture?”

  She nodded. “Mmhmm. Tell me what an expensive hunk of ice tastes like.”

  “Probably like ice.”

  “I don’t believe you. Prove it.” She had the cutest smile on her face.

  “Why don’t you taste it yourself?” I teased back.

  She looked around for a second to see if people were watching and shrugged her shoulders. Then she actually stepped closer to it and stuck her tongue out, licking the wing. As she tasted the water in her mouth I was trying to hold back a laugh, but it didn’t work and I laughed out loud.

  “Yep, just tastes like ice. I’m very disappointed.”

  “I guess we’ll have to have flavored swans,” I said, pulling her into my arms.

  “Hey, there’s an idea.”

  Sunday was relaxing and I very much enjoyed spending time at Jayden’s house. I came over in the morning around nine and we spent a lot of time looking through some of her photo albums and high school memorabilia. It was kind of cool to see so many pictures of her and her friends, and some of the events in their lives.

  She had chicken enchiladas ready for lunch at noon, and Joe turned on a Mariners game. Jayden shared her plans for our wedding and her dad didn’t offer much of a response. I didn’t take it as a bad sign, but I wondered what it meant. Later on she assured me that his reaction was normal. His only daughter was getting married, and although it wasn’t a depressing thought to him, it was change; sometimes her father had a hard time adjusting to change.

  After the game we left to rent a couple of movies, and then we went to my house. We were appreciating the privacy of being alone together on the couch when there was a knock at the door. Jayden looked just as surprised as I was, and she immediately straightened her hair.

  “Whoever it is can just go away,” I murmured, and I continued to kiss her. The knock sounded again and I groaned.

  “Just go answer it,” she giggled, shoving me away.

  I got up and peeked out the window. I cussed out loud when I saw the familiar car.

  “What’s the matter?” Jayden asked.

  “It’s my dad.”

  She was quiet for a moment and then she said, “Maybe you should just see what he wants.”

  “I don’t want to see what he wants.”

  She got up and stood next to me. “Ty, you haven’t talked to him for a long time. You won’t answer his calls. He’s come all this way to see you, so just find out what he wants.” The knocking continued. “Then I’ll answer it.”

  “No,” I said, stopping her with my hand. “I’ll…I’ll answer it.” I took a deep breath and moved to the door, and Jayden walked back to the couch. When I opened it, my father was smiling at me.

  “I’m sorry, son. Did I wake you up?”

  “No Dad, you didn’t wake me up. What do you want?”

  He glanced behind me and caught site of Jayden. He looked extremely pleased. “Oh. Hi, Jayden,” he smiled. “How are you?”

  “Fine, thank you—”

  “What do you want?” I asked him again.

  He looked back at me and seemed to refocus. “Oh. I just wanted to see you. I haven’t seen you for months.”

  “That’s how it was meant to be,” I said firmly.

  “Tyler,” he said quietly. “Please let me come in. I just want to talk to you. I don’t want anything from you except…just a few minutes of your time.”

  I sighed. It wasn’t in me to turn him away, but I had suffered so many things because of him. I was afraid just seeing him again was going to cause something bad to happen.

  I reluctantly opened the door further and allowed him to enter. He released a breath of air and seemed grateful. I shut the door behind me and followed him in, and Jayden began talking to him right away.

  “Are you just in the area?” she ended up asking.

  My father shook his head. “Uh, no, not exactly. I just, uh, haven’t seen Tyler for awhile because, uh…”

  “Dad, she knows why.” He glanced back at Jayden and seemed completely embarrassed, but I didn’t care. I was tired of family secrets. I sat down beside her and put my arm behind her on the back of the couch. “The only reason you should be here is if you’ve followed my wishes. If you haven’t, then I’d rather you not stay.”

  He didn’t seem surprised and nodded his head as he sat down. “I’ve done what you’ve asked. I’ve actually spent six weeks in rehab. I admitted myself a few days after you left.”

  That was truly surprising. “And?”

  “And I’m clean and sober,” he replied, like it was supposed to be obvious. With my father, I never knew.

  “How’d you pay for it?”

  After a brief pause he said, “I sold a few things.”

  It was quiet for a long time. I just didn’t know what to say to him. I wasn’t even sure if I believed he’d been to rehab.

  “I go to meetings now,” he continued with a tiny smile. “You know, the infamous AA meetings.”

  “How’s that going for you?” I asked dryly.

  He shrugged. “Fine. They’re all right. Sadly, a lot of people with lives that are more screwed up than mine.”

  “You actually found people that are more screwed up than you? I’m shocked.”

  He paused for a second as he looked between Jayden and myself. Finally he said, “Son, could I talk to you in private? About…about you and me?”

  Jayden was about to get up but I put my hand on her leg and held her where she was. “Whatever you have to say you can say right here. She’s not going anywhere.”

  He looked uncomfortable, and it took a few second before he added, “But…it’s about things you might not…”

  With a sigh I said, “She knows all about it, Dad. Is this part of the program or some
thing? Are you here to make amends? To rebuild bridges? What, are we supposed to hug and celebrate that you finally got a clue?”

  Jayden gently rubbed my leg with her hand. I didn’t know if I was making her uncomfortable, or she was trying to calm me down. Either way I took a deep breath.

  “Fine,” I said to him. “Say what you need to say so you can leave.”

  It probably wasn’t the response he wanted, but he took it anyway. “Yes, it’s part of the program. I am here to apologize to you. I am sorry, Tyler. I’m sorry for the horrible life I gave you. I’m sorry for becoming an alcoholic and subjecting you to such a terrible and unsafe environment. I’m sorry for all the bad choices I made, and for never being there for anything you did. I’m sorry you had to work so hard just to get away from me. I’m sorry you couldn’t bring friends home, or rely on me to ever be there for you at all. I’m sorry for all the money you’ve spent trying to help me out, or the time you took when I didn’t even deserve it. I’m sorry for…being such a selfish, irresponsible father,” he said angrily.

  He wiped his eyes with his hands and took a deep, shaky breath. “Anyways, that’s why I came,” he said softly. “To admit out loud what a horrible person I am. Was,” he corrected. “Hopefully…hopefully I can change that. I know I can’t make up for the past, but I’d like to try.” He paused, and then got up from the chair. He handed me a check from his pocket and said, “This is only an eighth, but I promise I will pay you back for every penny you’ve ever given me. I, uh, had Sue give me an amount, but if you think it’s more, just let me know. It was nice to see you again, son. You too, Jayden.”

  My father got up and made his way to the front door. Jayden was giving me a look as I silently told her that I just couldn’t do it, and she nodded her understanding. But something inside me was telling me to listen to her, even if I didn’t want to. I shook my head and groaned quietly.

  “Why don’t you stay for a little while?” I found myself saying. My father turned around at the door. “We were going to order pizza. Just stay and eat with us.”

  He shook his head. “Nah, I need to get going,” he replied, but it didn’t sound like he meant it.

  “Dad, just stay,” I sighed. “Jayden is going to leave if you don’t stay, and then I’ll be really pissed.”

  He smiled at that and looked at Jayden, who gave him a look that said it was true.

  “I don’t want to interrupt your time together…” he began.

  “You already did,” I informed him.

  Jayden made a noise and playfully shoved my face away with her hand. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” she laughed, as I took her hand and kissed it. “You mentioned the pizza and now I’m hungry again. I’m going to go order.” She kissed me before she got up.

  When she entered the kitchen I looked at my dad. He had a smile on his face when he sat down in the chair again.

  “I’m really glad you two are still together,” he said. “She’s pretty amazing.”

  “She is. And she’s the only reason you’re even in my house right now,” I admitted.

  He nodded. “I understand that.”

  “I’m not sure if you do. My life is great right now. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and I don’t want anything to ruin that. You aren’t tied to anything good in my life. Just having you here makes me anxious.”

  He nodded again. “I do understand, son. That’s why I don’t expect anything from you. I just came to say what I needed to say. Whatever you choose from here on out, I will completely respect.” He lowered his voice to barely audible. “What about Olevsky? Your life is great even if…?”

  “I’m done with him.”

  He looked stunned for a second, like he didn’t hear me right. “What- what are you saying? You can’t just—”

  “He cut me loose.”

  My dad was shaking his head. “No, that can’t be. He doesn’t… He doesn’t just let people go. What- what did you do? What happened?”

  “I asked that I not be associated with them anymore.”

  “No, Ty,” he panicked, and then he lowered his voice again. “That doesn’t happen. Ever.” He took a deep breath. “Why would he let you go?”

  “I told him I wanted to get married. I said I couldn’t marry Jayden if I was living two lives.”

  My father stared at me with disbelief, and then he seemed to be thinking things over. Finally he said, “How long ago was this?”

  “Uh…a few weeks ago.”

  He continued to stare at me, not knowing what to say, but he smiled at Jayden when she re-entered the room.

  “I ordered two so there will be plenty of extra,” she said, returning to her spot next to me. “Take some to work and take a piece for Matt. Tell him happy birthday from me,” she smirked.

  “It’s his birthday tomorrow?”

  “Yep. But Stacie still hasn’t let me know what we’re doing, so I’ll have to get back to you on that. But I’ll warn you right now… It might not be legal.”

  I grunted. “Coming from the daughter of a judge.”

  She smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

  “Oh, your father’s a judge?” my dad asked her. I didn’t miss his subtle glance my direction.

  “Yes,” she replied.

  “Does he like his job? I’m sure it takes its toll sometimes.”

  “Yeah, it does, but yes, he likes it.”

  “How does this city rate on crime? Any big criminals lurking in the area?”

  “I don’t even know,” she replied. “My dad doesn’t talk to me about work.”

  “Hey, Dad,” I interrupted, trying to change the subject. “Uh, we’re engaged,” I said, grabbing Jayden’s hand and showing him the ring.

  He raised his eyebrows as he looked at her hand, and then a big smile filled his face. “That’s great!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t… I didn’t even realize… Congratulations!” He truly was excited. “Do you have a date set?”

  “Beginning of November,” Jayden answered. “We’re still working on which day.”

  “Wow! I can’t believe it. My son is getting married. Well, I mean you mentioned it a couple of months ago, but now it’s- it’s official. That’s great.” He cleared his throat and then carefully asked, “Uh, will I be invited?”

  I met his worried eyes and said, “You know the terms.”

  He nodded. “And you have nothing to worry about.”

  I wanted so badly to believe him, but there were too many promises that had been broken in the past. History always seemed to repeat itself. I decided to take it one day at a time with my father. I was tired of being disappointed.

  My dad did leave shortly after we ate. He said he didn’t want to intrude on anymore of our time together. I was glad because we picked up right where we left off.

  Chapter Thirty

  My father’s unexpected visit was like a bad omen. The following week was pretty normal, except one very unsettling thing that happened on Friday.

  I got off work early and decided to surprise Jayden again. As I walked into City Hall and headed towards her office, I passed a guy in the hallway. He was familiar to me right away, but it took me a second to recall where I’d seen him. He had dark hair and eyes, but the way his eyes shifted when he looked at me sent a sick feeling to my gut. I knew he was the guy that met with Dean that one night after I had. I glanced behind me after he passed and he’d done the same thing, and after he continued on around the corner, I entered Jayden’s office.

  Her smile distracted me right away. “Hey!” She got up from her desk to greet me with a kiss.

  “None of that in here,” the lady at the front desk said with a smile. I had to glance at the nameplate on her desk to remember her. Betsy.

  “If you’re not done I’ll just wait in the hall,” I told Jayden.

  “You can wait in here. I’m just finishing up,” she assured me. “Have a seat.” She pointed to a stool at a counter so I sat down, and then returned to her desk and began typing
away at the computer.

  “So, Ty,” Betsy said with a big smile. “When are you going to send us more flowers?”

  I saw Jayden smile at her desk but her eyes never left the computer screen.

  “Which kind did you like?” I asked. “The roses or the lilies?”

  She thought for a second. “Both are nice. But I think the orchid was my favorite,” she pointed. I looked behind Jayden and saw it sitting in the window.

  “Ah,” I nodded. “If you like orchids you must be a very patient and caring woman.”

  She laughed, but I swear I made her blush. “Oh, well I- I don’t know about that,” she fumbled.

  I could tell Jayden was trying not to laugh when she announced that she was done and grabbed her purse from under her desk. “Can you come with me to see my dad?” she asked when we came to the hall that led to the police department.

  I was unsure if I really wanted to do that but I replied, “Sure.” I was worried about seeing that guy again. I wondered what he was doing at city hall, and where he went.

  Jayden was talking to me as we walked down the hall, but I was only partially listening as I was trying to think of reasons why that guy would be in the police department. He was probably wondering the same about me. I guess he could have someone here he was visiting, just like I was.

  We passed by several courtrooms on our way to Joe’s office. Or was it “chambers”? I wasn’t sure because it didn’t look as official as the judge’s chambers were on TV, but it was a nice office nevertheless. Jayden lightly knocked on the partially opened door and then pushed it open further.

  He looked up as we entered and said, “Hey, sweetie.” Then he glanced at me and added, “What’s this rare occasion for?”

  I only smiled but Jayden said, “He surprises me at work all the time. But today I dragged him in here so he can see you actually have a job.”

  He smiled at her humor. “Very funny.”

  We talked with him for a few minutes before heading out. I was grateful that I felt more comfortable around him, and it wasn’t as difficult for me to talk to him as it used to be. I imagined what it would be like to face him in court. Although I heard he was a very fair and well-respected judge, he also held the reputation of being the tell-it-like-it-is type. Honesty definitely wasn’t his weakness.