Butcher, Baker, Vampire Slayer: A Retelling of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night

by Juliann Whicker

  Chapter 6

  The Baker

  “Hey, Tancetta,” Orion said, his low voice as rich and low as a thousand delicious bonbons. I had to stop thinking about food whenever I heard him.

  I ignored him, keeping my head down and my footsteps quick.

  “Orion wanted you,” the red-head haughty boy said, stepping in front of me. I looked up slowly to his face, my brother’s scowl suddenly much easier to wear.

  “Just a word,” Orion said, sounding almost apologetic. The elite Orion Daughtry had nothing to say that I wanted to hear. I had to study. I had to go to my room and unbind my chest. I couldn’t care about his words or anything else coming out of his luscious and deceptively soft looking mouth. I couldn’t think about his mouth. I was supposed to hate him. I had to keep my distance, particularly when he looked like that, tired and apologetic, different from the cocky guy he’d been when he’d ordered me to see him at dinner the night before. Some part of me had wanted to say yes. Fine. Lots of me. Fortunately, all those parts of myself were packed in the large suitcase that had arrived the evening before. I’d locked myself in my room and spent some time in my own clothes instead of eating dinner. Thus my current obsession with bonbons. It had nothing to do with Orion who just happened to have eyes that looked like melting chocolate, hair of deep, rich and luscious fudge. At all.

  I raised my eyebrows, uncertain if my voice would come out low enough, but instead of protesting, I let myself be led, Mal behind me, into the boy’s locker room. The tight and nauseous feeling in my stomach grew with every flash of skin that burned into my brain. We passed several guys dressing, undressing, and even though I kept my gaze strictly forward on Orion’s back, I couldn’t help the blush rising up my neck to my cheeks.

  What had I been thinking? I couldn’t possibly do this, but I did. I started choreographing a floor sequence in my head and almost didn’t see the disgusting, smelly, hairy boys around me. At least, until Orion took off his shirt.

  We’d come to the end of the row of lockers where none of the other guys would dare come close, or I simply failed to see any other guys. His chest was creamy perfection, like cream tinged with chocolate, the perfect mochiatto latte with a sprinkling of chest hair, except for the scars. He had what looked like a fresh scar across his ribs, something terribly painful looking.

  I spoke without thinking as I reached out to the ugly scar. “What happened?”

  He raised his eyebrows then glanced down, like he had no idea what I was talking about then shrugged his corded and muscular shoulders. He didn’t look that muscular when he was wearing his uniform.

  “Wraiths,” he said with a hard smile.

  I blinked at him, aware of the mockery in his eyes and tried to shake off the utter weirdness and sympathy for someone injured, even the magnificent Orion Daughtry. I scowled at him hard. “Dude, what do you want? I have things to do.” I backed off and staring at the orange locker over his left shoulder instead of his incredibly sculpted chest like flakes of chocolate on a sea of creamy caramel infused whipped cream, marred by that terrible injury.

  “There’s a girl,” he said in a low voice, his words drawing my attention to his mouth, his lips.

  I stared at him in horror. Did he know? “What? No there isn’t. I haven’t seen any girls all day, um, unless you’re talking about the wraith...”

  He frowned at me, like I wasn’t making any sense before he smiled and nodded, like I’d caught onto the joke. “Right. She goes to an all-girl school across the city, but our parents know one another.”

  I exhaled and felt my heart start beating again. I kept glancing at him and away, not able to stop looking, but trying not to blatantly stare.

  “There’s a girl in an all-girls school. You know, I think there are a lot of them.”

  He laughed, a wonderful rich sound that made me want to bake cupcakes with cherries on top, bright maraschino red.

  “She’s not just any girl,” he said with a mischievous smile, like he was inviting me into the world of inside jokes and secret handshakes.

  I glanced away from his face while my stomach clenched for no rational reason other than being in a boy’s locker room disguised as a guy.

  “You like her?” I should not care. Why did I care? I didn’t. So, why did my stomach ache so much? Maybe cramps.

  He shrugged and reached into his locker for a jersey. “She is an incredibly capable marksman. Aims right for the heart.”

  I nodded like that was cool, whatever, like Sebastian would have been, talking about chicks with his friends. Only Sebastian’s only friend was Tony, and they’d talked way more about taking down Orion, than girls.

  Orion sighed heavily. Orion, easily the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen in my life, the bane of my brother’s existence, who had gotten my brother’s best friend expelled now wanted to talk to me about a girl.

  I licked my lips. “I’m not really good with girls.”

  He raised an eyebrow. Why did he do that so much? “Your sister goes to school with her. They’re friends. I think that she would talk to you.”

  What girl did I know that Orion Daughtry would find interesting? There were the pastel girls. My friend Chloe called them that. They wore feminine colors and talked about all the guys that liked them and how to hit on guys, and the best places to make-out, and how to do so, and what lipstick lasted without smearing, that kind of thing. I’d had three pastel girl’s lockers beside mine last year. It had been amusing and humiliating to overhear their shameless conversations.

  I cleared my throat. “What would I talk about to this mysterious girl who my sister is supposed to know? My sister doesn’t hang out with a lot of girls.”

  Orion studied me and I worried about if my voice had come out low enough before he shrugged and gave me a brilliant smile that made the rest of the world blink in and out of focus. Mostly out.

  “You’ll talk about me, of course.” He stepped closer to me and put my hand on my shoulder.

  My stomach lurched like I was in a vertical drop on a roller coaster.

  “I want you to talk to her for me. To tell her that I’m sorry about her brother, but shutting me out isn’t the solution. I need her on my side.”

  I opened my mouth and closed it again as I glanced over and saw some skin that made me face back to Orion with a shudder.

  “I don’t think I’m the right…guy,” I said edging away.

  He gripped my shoulder and pulled me close enough that I could smell his spicy aftershave. So much skin. I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, but I felt immediately better. He smelled so good. Like coffee cake and peanut brittle with a side of oreo ice cream, and all that bare skin.

  I would have stood there for the rest of my life like a stunned deer that had gotten hit by a semi.

  His voice was low, a growling hum that weakened my knees. “Her brother died. She’s isolating herself in her grief when she has friends that she can turn to. I’m still her friend. She needs to know that we are on the same side. If she turns away from me, I’m afraid what that will lead to.”

  I heard the words but it took me a moment for me to equate the concern in his eyes with what he felt about another girl.

  I lurched away from him, blinking rapidly. It was fine. I did not want Orion Daughtry at all. I hated him, or at least the person I was pretending to be hated him. I should be happy listening to him pine over someone else.

  I took a deep breath as I fought the irrational desire to bake a mountain of scones. “Yeah. I can do that. No big deal.”

  He smiled again, and I felt an irrational pull towards him, towards the bare skin, the hands that hung by his sides, half curled as if he would touch me again. I was going insane.

  “Her name is Olivia. Did your sister ever mention her?”

  My heart pounded at the name and I could almost taste the blood in my mouth.

  “Olivia?” I’d taken a hockey puck to my face thanks to Olivia. I had a slight scar on my upper lip from the memora
ble occasion. Olivia from my old school wasn’t a dainty flower. She played sports rough. She kicked you when you were down. She bullied and bossed everyone in school, even older girls. She was also stunningly beautiful with loads of black curls and large eyes, pouty mouth and a body like one of those Italian movie stars. Statuesque was the word. Orion was tall enough that she could wear heels with him on their dates. They would be perfect together. I ran my tongue over my scar before I nodded. “Yeah. I think that my sister mentioned her. So, that’s the kind of girl you like.” I studied him, trying to picture her in his arms. His bare arms wrapped around her while she leaned against his bare chest and purred into his ear.

  He shifted, a little bit uncomfortable. “There’s more to her than meets the eye.”

  I smiled blandly. “I think what meets the eye is plenty. When do you want me to talk to her? Do you have extra protective equipment for when she kicks me in the balls?”

  He grinned suddenly and shook his head. “If you need armor, I’m sure I could find something even in your size.”

  I scowled at him. “What’s wrong with my size? So, I’m half a head shorter than Olivia, I’ll be able to duck when she head-butts me.”

  He gave me a quizzical glance. “What have you heard about the fair Olivia?”

  I shrugged and tried to look nonchalant. “Only good things if you like your women feisty bordering on sadistic.”

  He laughed that time, a sound so delightfully rich and creamy, I felt a shiver run all the way up my spine at that sound. “That’s how your sister describes her? I take it that they aren’t exactly friends. I should meet her.”

  I stared at him blankly for a minute. “Who?”

  “Your sister,” he said like that was obvious.

  I choked and tried to make it sound like a laugh. “Ah, no. She’s really busy all the time. Besides that, she wouldn’t like you. No offense, you’re just too much like Olivia, you know? I think that the two of you are perfect. Can’t wait to help you work it all out. I’ve got to go because I left my, um, shoes in the courtyard, and it’s going to rain, so, yeah. Later, man.”

  It was incredibly hard not to turn around for one last look at the skin and muscles behind me, to read the expression on his face.

  I had to get out. I crashed through a pair of half-dressed guys, but made it into the hall. I leaned against the wall, clinging to the strap of my backpack, like it could hold me up. Seeing a guy half naked was not new to me. I’d been naked in the womb with a male for nine months. There was absolutely no rational explanation for this sudden uncontrollable fascination I had towards someone I’d known coming in was a jerk.

  It must be pheromones. He was like the alpha male, and I was the female. Luckily, he didn’t know that. Would he treat me differently subconsciously because of my hormonal secretions? Was that why he’d hugged me on my first day? Could he somehow sense my weakness, my femininity? I shook my head and pushed myself away from the wall.

  I should be attracted to every male in school with that explanation. Luckily, I wasn’t. I should look at this as a fascinating experiment. So, I was attracted to a fine specimen of masculinity. What was so strange about that? The strength of the attraction was unnerving as was the emotional response I had towards him, the way I felt when he touched me, like I’d taken a long nap.

  Maybe I was sucking the life force out of him, like Sebastian said, but Orion didn’t seem to mind, not like my brother had. I would have to start a notebook, documenting this experience. Apparently I had too much time on my hands in spite of my intensive academic schedule.

  I was going to go to straight to my room after my last class and skip dinner, but Orion had a kid waiting for me. He escorted me to the cafeteria that looked like a verdant Medieval hall more than a cafeteria. I piled my plate high, trying to ignore the grizzled cook’s scowl at me for missing dinner or not eating enough, I had no idea. I went to the table where Orion sat, alone. I stood there for a long time before I plunked down my tray across from him and bit into a roll so I wouldn’t have to think of something to say.

  He smiled at me, watching me eat, like that was interesting. My appetite fled until I was only pushing around the succulent and tender asparagus. Finally Orion explained his plan.

  Not much of a plan, really. That night, Olivia’s parents would be out. Olivia would be at home, lonely, ready for me to open her heart for Orion’s plucking. He didn’t say it like that. He kept using words like, sides, teams, holding to the good and light and other jedi language. Jedi. The last time I’d watched Star Wars, I’d been sitting between my dad and my brother while my mom rolled out pies in the background. She’d been baking for some kind of fundraiser.

  I tried to wipe my eyes furtively. His heavy, warm hand rested on my shoulder, easing away the ache, the exhaustion for a moment before he pulled away, smoothing butter on a roll. Why did he do that? Did he notice he was touching me? He didn’t touch the guys around him like that, did he? I met the gaze of Toby across the room, noticed the narrow eyes, like he was trying to figure me out.

  I focused back on my tray, listening to Orion talk, his voice like a low cello, playing on my nerves, strand by strand.

  When he stood, I followed suit, still without saying much besides, ‘yeah, man’. We left the school and crossed the grounds towards a large garage where his sleek black convertible waited for us amidst an assortment of other vehicles, two of which looked like some kind of tanks.

  I stopped when I saw the tanks, but Orion grabbed my elbow and walked me to the shiny black car. I tried to breathe normally, but walking through this dark space so close to an incredibly delicious smelling male made me want to do something, like a series of back-flips or break out singing something inane, like I’m Henry the Eighth, I am. Or find an oven and bake something like strudel. I’d never made strudel before. I tried to focus on what I’d need, for ingredients, what the consistency of dough should be like until finally, I found myself in the car beside him, strapped into the brown leather seat. It took me the entire drive to Olivia’s mansion for me to get my thoughts under control. The drive had been a blur for me, trying to not notice Orion, trying to slouch like a guy, trying to think what the crap I was supposed to say to Olivia. It was an insanely stupid idea for Orion to send me to talk to her. I’d made it clear that I didn’t like her. Whatever. He’d find out soon enough.

  He turned to me, his face serious, eyes shadowy. “I’ll be waiting around the corner until you finish talking to her. Are you sure you know what to say?”

  I frowned at him. He looked alive and dangerous in the shadowy evening, like he belonged in the night. I cleared my throat. “Stay away from the dark side and you miss her, right?”

  He nodded with a sliver of a smile. “Close enough. If you get to tell her anything, it will be impressive.”

  I got out of the car then slowly walked up the long, winding path to the door. Sebastian. I had to be a guy. What did guys do? I slouched down, adjusted my crotch and took my time with each step. Too soon, I was at the door. I took a deep breath before I knocked, scowling as I waited for someone to answer.

  The door swung open violently, making me flinch before Olivia’s perfectly tanned face peered out at me, her long hair in carefully tousled curls around her perfect oval face.

  My scowl deepened instinctively. She could never, ever, in a million years pass for a boy. I looked her up and down, searching in vain for a flaw. I looked back at her face and saw her eyes, flat expression that wouldn’t hesitate to smash a face or heart. “So, you’re Olivia.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Excuse me?”

  I cleared my throat and shrugged. “You are beautiful, I’ll give you that, but I’m not sure what the big deal is.”

  “Big deal?” She glanced down at her body, molded in tight fitting tank and skin tight jeans. She frowned up at me, eyes narrowing dangerously. “Do I know you? Your eyes look familiar.”

  I shook my head, my annoying wig brushing my face. “My sister Violetta Ta
ncetta went to school with you so Orion thought that I’d be a good messenger boy for him.”

  She smiled widely, a weird smile that I’d never seen and made me feel uncomfortable. “Violetta, how is she? I was so sorry that she graduated a year early so that I wouldn’t be able to see her any more. She’s such a talented, smart, pretty, athletic girl, you must be so proud of her.” Her words were sarcastic, harsh, mocking.

  I laughed because, yeah, the idea that I’d have anything to do with Olivia was insane. “Oh, I am. I’m sure you’re busy, so I’ll leave you with Orion’s love and pleading heart for you to trample at your slightest whim. How does it go? ‘My arms wait for you, open, aching, yearning for the touch of your skin, the breath of your lips to hover over mine. You are my half, the light to my shadow, the sun to my moon, the life to the endless, awful death that sinks its fangs into my heart with every day that passes without my irreplaceable Olivia.’” I scratched my chin, shrugged then turned around to leave.

  “Wait!” She grabbed my arm and yanked me back around to face her.

  I flinched, waiting for her to unman me or give me a bloody nose, but she dropped my arm and smoothed her top that was already completely smooth, licked her lips, and gave me a smile that was seriously, gloriously divine. I stood there, waiting for something bad to happen, but she laughed and gave me a faux push that didn’t even knock me off the porch and into the flower bed.

  “Orion would never say anything like that.” She tucked her chin so that she could sort of look up at me through her eyelashes, but I was too short for it to work.

  I felt extremely awkward, but I tried to bluster and shrugged. “Well, not really, but I don’t think he’d mind the creative license. He promised me some protective gear, but he must have thought I was joking.”