“Jesus,” Aaron said, not meaning to interrupt her.
“I know. I was on duty the morning after you arrived and it didn’t look good. Initially they had placed you under a medically induced coma, but after the scans showed so much damage, they tested you for brain activity.” She hesitated.
“And?” he asked.
She took his hand and squeezed it. “They didn’t find any. For all intents and purposes, you appeared to be brain dead.”
Aaron’s mouth quirked up and an ironic smile formed in his face. For years he and Matt had a running joke they used to tease one another with. Which of them was the most brain dead when it came to putting things together? The jab had started when neither of them could manage to put together a gas grill even with the instruction manual, and went on from there. A small tear slipped down his cheek and he wiped at it, apologizing and asking her to continue.
“Well, after the doctors came to that conclusion, they suggested to Mr. Caynor that you be removed from life support and be allowed to pass.”
“But, I’m still here. So…what happened?”
Nurse Nguyen smiled softly at him. “Mr. Caynor refused. He fought the hospital administration tooth and nail. But you have good health insurance, and anything over what they cover, Mr. Caynor agreed to pay.”
“So for two years he just watched while I lay here, lifeless and nothing more than a robot attached to a machine?”
“That may have been what the doctors saw, but I don’t think that’s what your special guy saw. He came here every day and night for the better part of a year. Even when his visits decreased, he made sure to stop by at least once a day.”
“But there came a time he stopped coming?”
“Not altogether, no. I think it was becoming too hard on him. He would sit in here, read you the newspaper, talk to you about movies and such that were coming out. He did anything and everything he could to illicit a response from you. After so long, I think it just became too hard to see you lying there like that.”
Aaron shook his head. “So he could have turned off the machine then. When he started to lose hope?”
“I never lost hope.”
Aaron’s chest caught in his lungs as he heard the familiar voice and looked up to see Matt standing in the doorway.
“Mr. Caynor.” Nurse Nguyen stood up to greet him. After placing a small kiss to his cheek she turned back toward Aaron. “Remember, you call me if you need anything.”
“I will. Thank you.” Aaron’s words came out past his trembling lips.
“Thank you, Di,” Matt told her and closed the door once she walked out to the nurse’s station.
Aaron looked over at Matt and felt a wave of anxiety come over him. Never in his life did he think that he’d ever feel uneasy around Matt, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was staring at a stranger. Other than his hair being a little shorter and worry lines that creased between his brows, he looked exactly as Aaron remembered him. It was the knowledge that two years had passed since they’d last spoken that made Aaron feel so awkward.
“I can’t believe I’m standing here looking at you with your eyes open. So many days I prayed that you would wake up,” Matt told him, his voice soft and melodic.
Aaron shrugged. “You know I like my sleep.”
Matt smirked. “I missed that. That sarcasm, the way you could turn any situation into a joke.”
“You did? I seem to recall it being one of your biggest pet peeves. In fact, besides my wet towels lying on the bathroom floor, I thought you hated my sarcasm.”
“Yeah well, you never realize how much you will miss something until you no longer have it,” Matt replied.
Aaron wished he knew the right thing to say that would take away the awkwardness he felt. He just stared at Matt, looking for some sort of indication as to what he’d been doing with his life the past two years.
“Would you like to sit down?” he asked.
“Yes. Sorry, it’s just so hard to believe that you’re awake. I mean, they said it wasn’t possible.” Matt came toward the bed and sat in the chair beside him.
“You always said I was a persistent little shit.” Aaron grinned.
“Yes, well I was usually referring to your libido when I said that.”
“True.”
Matt reached his hand up and brushed his thumb across Aaron’s cheek. “Look at you. I can’t believe I’m actually talking to you.”
“Sort of unreal, huh?” Aaron raised his hand and felt whiskers tickle his fingertips. “What do you think of my new look? Bet you never thought I’d have a beard?”
“Sorry, I used to shave you once a week, but after a while it just…” Matt’s voice trailed off. “I don’t know. I guess I should have kept it up. I’m sorry. I know how you hate facial hair.”
“You’re sorry? Babe, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Aaron took Matt’s hand and laced their fingers together. “The nurse told me that you never gave up on me. She said you wouldn’t let me go.”
“How could I? I loved you so much.”
Aaron’s blood ran cold when he heard the word that Matt had used. He pulled his hand away and looked out the window, refusing to allow Matt to see the raw emotion that was building up inside of him.
“Loved? As in…past tense?” Aaron asked.
“What? Did I…” Matt shook his head. “No, God no! That’s not what I meant. Look at me.”
Aaron refused to turn his head. He knew what he’d heard and that one letter didn’t just change the word, but it changed everything he felt about the man sitting beside him and their relationship.
“It’s all right. You don’t have to explain,” Aaron told him.
“Yes. I do.” Matt cupped Aaron’s chin and turned his head to face him. “I know what you’re thinking, but it just came out wrong. I did love you and I still do. It was just a slip of the lip. You have to know that.”
Aaron’s head was beginning to hurt worse and the tears that he was keeping at bay were pushing relentlessly at his eyelids.
“Are you sure? I mean…it’s been two years. It would be understandable if your feelings had—”
“They haven’t. You have to believe that,” Matt reiterated.
“I don’t know.” Aaron shook his head. “I don’t know what to think, or what to believe. None of this seems real. How could this even be possible? I slept for two years? I mean, come on. When does that even happen? How does it even happen? This just seems like one of those movies made for cable. I didn’t think these types of things happened to real people. Much less us.”
“I know,” Matt replied. “Believe me when I tell you that I get it. For the first month you laid in that bed, I was merely going through the motions. I didn’t know what to think or how to act.”
“So, what changed?” Aaron asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you said the first month, what happened after that?”
“I only heard a little of what Di told you, but it sounds like she was filling you in. After you had been under a few weeks and they couldn’t register any brain activity in any of your scans, they told me you were already gone. And hearing them say that pissed me off. It woke me up out of my funk and that’s when I started to breathe again.”
“I can’t imagine what you went through. I’m so sorry,” Aaron told him.
“Sorry? What the hell are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything. It’s my fault you’re even in here.”
“What do you mean? I thought we got into a car accident?”
“Yes, we did.” Matt shook his head. “I would give anything to do that night over and undo everything. You have no idea how sorry I am.”
Aaron looked into the depth of Matt’s brown eyes. There was definite pain residing in them. His face was lined with creases he didn’t used to have. Around the eyes and brow, Aaron could see the stress etched in his face from the years he spent asleep.
“There’s a reason they’re called accidents, babe. T
hey’re accidents. No one ever intends to have one.”
“I know that. It’s just…I can’t help but wonder what might have happened if I’d been more responsible. There are so many what-ifs that I literally drove myself crazy from them all. Seeing you hurt, knowing I was the reason you were there, it was too much.” Matt’s eyes filled with tears and he blinked until they fell down his cheeks.
“What did happen? I mean, I don’t blame you, never in a million years would I. I just have these holes where I don’t remember everything. I mean I remember us. I remember my job, our house, but it’s more like a movie without any reference of time or when things happened. Everything feels just somewhat vague.”
“God. I’m sorry. I’m sitting here in shock and I haven’t even considered how confusing this must be for you. I mean, it’s all I can do to keep from trembling. I haven’t even kissed you yet.”
“So what’s stopping you?” Aaron asked.
“Hell if I know.”
Matt lifted up off the chair and dipped his head down. He pressed his lips against Aaron’s, softly at first and then pressed firmly down.
The two of them stayed together, their lips locked with a connection that felt stronger that super glue. Aaron remembered the feel of Matt’s kiss. He knew every inch of his body. Still, something seemed different. There was a newness about this kiss that felt like they hadn’t shared thousands before. Maybe it was his headache or the fog of his mind, but this Matt who was leaning over him was a different man. Not in looks, not in words or even sound, but there was definitely something that had changed. What that was, Aaron wasn’t sure he was ready to find out.
“Do you know how good that feels?” Matt asked.
Their bittersweet reunion was interrupted by the ring of Matt’s phone. After pulling it from his pocket, Matt smiled and answered.
“Hello.”
“Who is it?” Aaron asked curiously.
Cupping his hand over the phone Matt whispered, “It’s mom and dad.”
Aaron smiled in turn. Matt’s parents had always been so good to him. From the moment they met they had treated him like he was a part of the family. Unlike his own parents, Matt’s had accepted their son’s sexuality. They didn’t love him any less, treat him any different. They were the perfect parents and Aaron knew how lucky he had been that they’d welcomed him into their lives.
“Yes, mom he’s fine. I’m talking to him right now.”
Aaron couldn’t contain his smirk when he heard Shelly squealing on the other end of the line.
Matt covered the mouse piece to his phone once again and said, “Mom and dad want to talk to you. Do you feel up to it?”
“Of course.” Aaron lifted his hand up as best he could. Instantly he felt the muscle fatigue from two years of doing virtually nothing. Matt gave him a sympathetic look and held the phone to his ear. “Hey, mom.”
“Aaron! Oh my sweet, dear boy. How are you? My gosh this must be surreal for you.”
“I’m okay. I’m strangely tired, which seems a bit funny since I’ve been sleeping for two years, but all in all I think I’m okay.”
“Hold on just a minute, Henry! Yes! I’m talking to him now! He sounds fine! Would you just let me talk to the boy already?” Shelly shouted to her husband before continuing. “I’m sorry, love. You know Matt’s father. He’s about as patient as a cat getting baptized.”
Aaron laughed. “So nothing’s changed then.”
“Not true. A lot has changed. You came back to us. And that is the best birthday gift I could have asked for.”
“Your birthday? I’m sorry, sleeping for a couple of years has my internal calendar all messed up. I don’t even remember what the date is even though the doctor just told me earlier.”
“Oh, don’t you worry nothing about little old me. My birthday is next Wednesday and you better believe that we’re driving down to see you.”
“That’s—”
“Uh-uh. Not a single word. I’m sure you and Matt want to be alone, but I’ve been waiting for this for two years. We’re coming down to see you two and that’s final.”
Laughing, Aaron said, “Actually I was going to say that’s very sweet and I can’t wait to see you guys. Although for me it feels like I just saw you last Christmas, but I guess that’s to be expected.”
“Indeed it is, love. But after awhile you’ll get your bearings back and you’ll be good as new, no, better, in no time at all. Okay, I have to go. If I don’t give Henry an update on you in the next thirty seconds I think his head might literally pop right off his head.”
“Does he want to talk to me?” Aaron asked.
“No. You know him with telephones. Just an old buzzard who thinks telephones should only be used in case of a catastrophic event. I’ll fill him in. And you tell Matt we’re going to be driving down on Wednesday, so each of you should be prepared to eat some of mama’s home cooking.”
“I can’t wait. See you then. Love you.” Aaron told her before she said good-bye.
Matt placed the phone back in his pocket and grinned. “They really love you. I think mom’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest when I called her on the ride over here to tell her you were awake.”
“I love them, too. And you.”
“And I love you.”
“What were we talking about before? Ohh, that’s right. The kiss.”
“Yeah, the kiss.” Matt shook his head. “Feeling your lips kissing me back. So many times I kissed you, hoping for some sort of a response…It was an unbelievable kind of hell.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“It wasn’t your fault. I told you. It was mine. And I’m so sorry.”
“All right. You’ve said that enough times now that I think it’s about time you explain yourself. You know I could never blame you for what happened. So, what did happen?” Aaron asked him for the second time.
Matt closed his eyes and nodded in understanding. “Okay. It’s the least I can do.”
Aaron watched, waiting for Matt to start talking as he pushed the chair away and walked the path around his bed. It pained him to see the worry on Matt’s face, and know that he had remained steadfast in his determination to not let go of Aaron while all he could do was sleep the past two years away.
“I’m not sure if you remember this or not, but we were at a charity art auction. Lori, she’s one of the tellers at my branch, you’ve met her a few times.”
“Blonde?”
“Yes, that’s right. Well, her brother is an artist and was holding a benefit to raise funds for cancer research. He donated his paintings and you had liked some of his work before so we thought we’d go and take a look to see what they had. You and I met at home and drove to the event together. We originally were going to just meet there, but I had insisted that we don’t. Good old me, and my stupid need to save a buck, was worried about wasting the gas. Because we met at home, it took a big chunk out of our evening so neither of us had eaten dinner. There were a few hors d’oeuvres being passed around, but nothing too substantial. They also had wine.”
Matt stopped pacing and looked out the window. “You know me and my wine. I can never pass up a good vintage when it’s being offered to me. So I took it. I drank the whole glass of cabernet sauvignon down to its last drop. Then a couple of hours later we were headed home. I felt fine, or at least I thought I did. I’d only had that one glass and didn’t feel like I was impaired in any way. We had some unexpected weather that night. A thick layer of fog had rolled in from the lake making visibility minimal. That might not have been so bad, but I guess it brought with it a thin sheet of moisture which coated the roadway. The temperatures dropped quickly and before I knew it what was happening, we were slipping on a thin black sheet of ice. The car slid to the right and I panicked and overcorrected. Then I lost control of the vehicle. We hit one of those side-of-the-road pylons and the next thing I knew, we were flipping in the air. It was all so…surreal, like the kind of thing you see on the b
ig screen. Not something that happens in real life. I was knocked unconscious for a minute or two, but when I woke there were bystanders trying to help me and reassuring me that they had already called for help. I thought when the car had begun skidding that I panicked, but I never knew real panic until I turned my head and saw your door open, the frame of it nearly crushed and you were nowhere in sight. That was when I told the couple that was trying to help me that you were missing.
“The man left, he couldn’t have been gone for more than a minute when I heard him holler to his wife that she’d better come there. In that moment, I thought I’d already lost you.
“There was a horror in the man’s voice. I knew whatever he had found was bad. It wasn’t until the ambulance arrived that I heard you were alive. The half hour in between you be taken to the hospital until I finally made it there in a second ambulance were the longest thirty minutes of my life. I had needed to see you with my own eyes. I held your hand and watched the monitor beep with your heartbeat until they kicked me out of the room and forced me to get stitched up. It seemed so ridiculous. You were nonresponsive, other than breathing, and they were worried about some stupid cut on the side of my head. It made me so damn angry. I wanted to stay with you. I felt like if I could just get through to you, get you to hear me, that maybe you would open those beautiful rich brown eyes of yours.”
“Babe, none of this sounds like your fault. If anything it sounds like you went through hell. I wish I had heard you. I wish I would have woken up so we could undo these lost years.”
Matt exhaled a large breath and turned back to face Aaron. “I should have never got behind that wheel, Aaron. One of the first things the cops asked me on the scene was whether or not I’d been drinking. They took a breathalyzer and only a technicality prevented them from arresting me for driving while under the influence. Apparently my blood alcohol level was too low to be considered legally intoxicated, so they let me go.”
When He Woke (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting ManLove) Page 4
