Undone (The Monroe Family Book 6)

by Nicole Dykes

  He kisses my lips as he enters me with insane patience. “And I’m not allergic to anything that I know of.”

  I groan at the feeling of him and whisper, “Why are we still talking?”

  He’s fully inside of me and then pulls back so his cock is almost out, before slamming back into me, nearly sending me over the edge again. His mouth moves to my ear, “Now you know everything about me.”

  I smile as we move together, my nails digging into his back, reveling in the familiar feeling of being with him again.

  As we both go for the ultimate release I’m happier and sadder than I have ever been. He let me in, fully, but is it enough?

  We have both hurt each other so much. I have no idea how to get past that.

  We flip so I’m on top of him riding his dick as he grips my breasts in his hands, so close to release I can feel my toes curling.

  And I know what I have to do.

  Chapter 20

  Shriller

  T

  he next morning, I stare at Alex like a crazy obsessive person. The sun just came up and the sunlight woke me from one of the best nights of sleep I’ve had for a long time.

  Alex has her head in the crook of my right arm and is completely dead to the world. She’s fucking beautiful.

  Her eyes flutter open and she pushes my side with one of her hands. “Hey, Creeper. Watching me sleep?”

  I laugh, “Well, you look so damn purdy with your messed-up sex hair and running mascara,” I say teasing her.

  She fluffs up her hair to make it messier. “You love it.”

  I smile and turn to pin her body under mine. “Yeah, I do.”

  As she looks up at me, her smile fades quickly and a single tear falls down her cheek. Shit. “What’s wrong?”

  She wipes the tear with one hand and grips my bicep, that I have propped up to not put all my weight on her, with the other.

  “I think you need to go back to L.A.” The words are simple and shouldn’t have a huge impact. I live there after all, but her tone rips my heart out and she adds, “Back to your life, Shriller. And I have to give this thing with Chris a real chance.”

  Fuck. It feels like I’ve been punched in the stomach as I roll off her and onto my back. Alex stays on hers also, laying right next to me, both of us stark naked, but that’s still the last thing on my mind.

  I told her everything about me last night. Shit no one knows. Shit I have never talked about.

  “And last night? What the fuck was that? Some sort of goodbye?” I ask.

  Alex turns on her side, propping her head up on her hand and I turn my head to look into her sad eyes glistening with tears that haven’t fallen. “I don’t want to hate you anymore. And I really don’t want you to hate me. I want our friendship back.” Her voice is quiet and raspy from just waking up as she adds, “I want to be able to call you for any reason without it being weird. Like we promised.”

  I roll my neck so I’m facing the white ceiling above us. “So, it was sort of a goodbye.”

  “Maybe. At least to this part, but I want you in my life and not just at family events. Just tolerating each other. I want to do what we originally said and just go back to the way we were.”

  “You really think that’s possible?” I ask her.

  I feel her hand on my arm in an attempt to comfort me. “It’s us. I think it is.”

  I move so I’m lying on my side, facing her. “So, this is the last time we are ever going to wake up next to each other?”

  She smiles subtly. “Naked? Yes.”

  I brush the tattoo on her bare hip with my fingers, “That’s a shame. We’re hot together.”

  “That’s the thing. We burn too brightly. Us together would be too chaotic, constant fighting and fucking.”

  I try to give her my best grin. “The last part doesn't sound so bad.”

  She moves her hand to my cheek, stroking it softly. “We are too much alike.”

  I disagree, but I don’t argue. Something holds me back. “So, Chris huh?”

  She smiles and it’s genuine. It tears me apart, but I do my best not to show it. “I have to try.” She looks almost desperate when her eyes search mine and she asks, “Please tell me we can go back to being friends?”

  I move my hand to her cheek, mimicking her gesture and holding her eyes hostage with mine. “Yes. No matter what, we will stay friends. Call me for any reason, any time. Fuck, I’ll even listen to you gush about Chris if it means I get to keep you in my life.”

  I mean every word, even if it will kill me.

  She smiles, but it’s a sad smile and whispers, “Thank you.”

  “Hey, he’s from California. You guys ever go for a visit, you’ll have a place to stay.”

  She laughs at that. “Oh yeah, because that wouldn’t be weird.”

  I shrug and do what I do best when I’m uncomfortable. “For him maybe. You’ll be in my room, right?”

  She laughs and removes her hand from my face she uses it to punch me in the arm. “Funny.”

  I laugh, but then she starts to make a move to leave the bed. I reach for her arm and pull her body to mine. I put my hands on both sides of her face and kiss her. I kiss her like it is the last time I will ever feel her lips on mine.

  Her naked body presses against mine and I feel her hands in my hair as she kisses me back before slowly using her hands to separate us. She looks at me with a questioning glance. “What was that?”

  I shrug. “Closure.”

  She nods her head sadly and climbs off the bed, slipping into her dress from last night.

  She sits on the edge of the bed to put her heels on and looks back at me over her shoulder. “Get back out on that track where you belong. Racing doesn’t define who you are, but it is a part of you.”

  I nod my head, taking in her words. “All right.”

  She stands up and I finally climb off the bed to join her, pulling on my sweats. I walk her to the door and she gives me an awkward hug before walking out into the hallway.

  I find a flight and book it on my phone before taking a quick shower. Maybe she’s right and we would be miserable together.

  After I shave, I hear a knock on the door and run out into the living room of the suite with just a towel around my waist. Of course, I’m hoping it’s Alex and she’s changed her mind.

  I open the door and see Jax standing in the hallway, with his leather coat and sunglasses on. He looks like he means business. “Hey man, you’re still here,” he says seeming relieved.

  Fuck, I even did damage to Jax when I left. I nod and move out of the way so he can walk inside. “I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”

  He smirks as he walks in. “Right, because only assholes do that.”

  I laugh, “Yep.”

  His eyes go to the bar and a smirk forms on his face, one that makes me look where he is looking.

  Shit. Alex’s bra and panties are sitting there in plain sight. I found them when I was getting my shit together to leave today. “You hire a hooker last night?”

  I crack a smile at that before I answer, “Nah, I haven’t had to pay for it in years,” I joke.

  “So, whose panties?”

  I rub the back of my neck, nervously. I don’t want to lie to him, but not sure Alex would be thrilled about him knowing.

  Doesn’t matter, because it clicks noticeably for him. “Alex stop by last night?”

  Damn he’s good. “Yeah, we talked.”

  He shakes his head. “Oh really, without her bra and panties on?” I don’t say anything and he goes on, “Usually I’m a fan of talking that way, but that shit doesn’t seem to end well with you and Alex.”

  “It ended fine.”

  His eyes narrow at me. “Oh yeah?”

  I nod. “Yes. She’s going back to Chris.”

  I swallow hard, saying it out loud hurts like a motherfucker. I walk into the living room and down the leftover scotch in my glass from last night.

  Jax takes a seat on the couch
and runs both of his hands through his short hair, then looks up at me where I’m still standing. “Fuck man, are you okay?”

  I nod my head stiffly. “Yeah. She’s my friend again. That’s all I really wanted.”

  He doesn’t believe me, but like the great friend he is, he stands up and pats me on the shoulder with a big smile on his face. “That’s good to hear. So, you heading back then?”

  I nod my head, “Yeah, but I’ll be back soon.”

  He smiles and we talk more for a bit about random shit before he leaves and I finish packing.

  Time to get back to the real me.

  Chapter 21

  Alex

  T

  he next day I’m standing outside of Chris’s tattoo parlor, trying to gain the courage to open the damn door and walk inside.

  I didn’t talk to him, or anyone else yesterday after I left the hotel. I just holed up in my apartment and tried to will away the empty feeling I had after telling Shriller to go back to L.A. In that command, I was saying that anything that he and I may have had was over. He knew it instantly. I didn’t have to explain it further.

  We are friends and that’s how it needs to be. I take a deep breath and pull the door open. I walk into the crowded shop and scan until I see Chris with a big breasted blonde, dressed in a skanky tube top. She’s using a mirror to examine the fresh tattoo on the back of her shoulder and squeals, “God, Chris, you are so fucking talented. This is why you are the only one I let touch me.”

  She actually bites her lip and is eye fucking him in the middle of the packed room as she says that. And I have the urge to drag her out by her platinum blonde hair and kick her ass, but I stay calm.

  Chris just shakes his head as he takes the mirror from her and bandages the new tattoo. He looks up briefly and my eyes catch his. He smiles over at me, “Alex. Hey, I wasn’t sure I’d see you again.”

  I give him a weak smile and tuck my hands into my jeans pockets. “Do you have time to talk?”

  He nods his head and stands up, addressing Miss Big Boobs. He gives her instructions on how to take care of her new tattoo and then gestures toward one of the other tattoo artists. “Hey, cover for me with my next client okay?”

  The guy, who looks about Luke’s age, shakes his head smiling. “Oh Sabrina is gonna be pissed. She requested you personally.”

  “She’ll be fine,” he says confidently and then gestures for me to follow him.

  I oblige and we walk up the stairs in the back of the shop to his apartment. When we are inside we stay standing by the entrance and he breaks the silence first. “So, how are you?”

  “I’m okay. I’m sorry I didn’t call you yesterday.”

  He shrugs casually. “It’s cool. I wanted to give you some space to figure shit out.” He runs his hand through his hair and then asks sort of nervously for him, “Did you?”

  I walk closer to him and plant a firm kiss on his lips before I answer his question. “Yes. Things between Shriller and I are over.” I take a step back and tuck some loose hair behind my ear and add, “Although, we are going to stay friends. I don’t have feelings for him.”

  I have a nasty feeling deep inside as I say that last part that I don’t want to examine further.

  He closes the gap between us and places one hand on my shoulder. His eyes are searching mine intently and honestly, I’m afraid of what they might find. “Are you sure?”

  I give him the best smile that I’m capable of right now and hold his waist with my hands. “Yes. I want to give this a real chance. I don’t want to see anyone else and I don’t want you to either.”

  He grins, “So, you want to be like an actual couple?”

  I nod. “Yes.”

  He suddenly looks a little nervous and steps out of my grasp and is pacing the floor. My heart is pounding faster in my chest and I’m almost certain he is about to reject me from his behavior. “Chris? What’s wrong?”

  He takes my hand, “I haven’t been in a serious relationship for a long time.”

  “You haven’t? You seem so mature.”

  He laughs and leads me to his couch where we sit side by side. “I guess you could say I grew up fast yeah, but I haven’t met anyone I’ve been seriously interested in for a long fucking time.”

  “That’s okay. I apparently suck at relationships, but we can help each other.”

  He smiles that devastatingly handsome smile at me, complete with his shining bright blue eyes and a dimple in his right cheek. “If we are going to do this Alex, I want to be totally upfront right from the start. No secrets. I have something I should tell you.”

  I nearly gulp at his words, but try to lighten the mood. “What are you married or something?”

  He doesn’t laugh and the smile I had on my face fades. “Not anymore.”

  I’m trying to decide if he’s just messing with me and ask, “Really?”

  “Yes. We were young, in love, and really fucking stupid at the time,” he says with a sort of whimsical look on his face.

  I place my hand on his knee, feeling his bare skin through the fabric of his ripped jeans, that I find sexy as hell. “How young?”

  I want the whole story, but I’m afraid to push him. Fortunately, it’s Chris so I don’t have to.

  “Eighteen. We knew each other pretty much our whole lives. Actually, grew up right next door. Started officially dating our freshman year of high school, but when I chose to move here with my mom, we broke up. Didn’t want the distance to destroy us.”

  “Sounds like it didn’t.”

  He smiles briefly, but it’s like he won’t let himself think fondly about this woman. “We stayed friends. Talked every day on the phone and then, when we graduated and turned eighteen, I flew out and begged her to marry me.”

  I can’t hide my surprise when I say, “Wow.”

  “Yeah.” His hand grips at his thick hair and moves through it nervously. He’s agitated by this memory without a doubt. “She said yes and we got married that week. Just went to the courthouse because we knew our parents wouldn’t be thrilled and we were right.”

  “Your parents weren’t friendly neighbors?”

  He shakes his head, laughing bitterly. “No. Not even close. Her family couldn’t stand mine. They were fairly religious and my family is a little wild. Especially after the divorce. My dad married my step mom who is only a couple of years older than me and close to the same age as my oldest brother. She loved to throw parties.”

  “So, they weren’t happy?”

  “No. My parents told me I was way too young, used their own failed marriage as an example and hers were pissed because she was set to go to Berkley in the fall, but I convinced her to move back to Kansas with me because I had an apprenticeship with a kickass tattoo artist here.”

  “Wow, she gave up college for you?” I ask, wondering what could have happened between them because it sure seems like they were in love.

  He nods, “Well, she planned to start school here. They were pissed but they said as long as she did that, they would pay for it. They were not thrilled about me not going to college and having a future in tattoos, but she didn’t care. We moved back here and spent four blissful months together. “

  I scoot back to get more comfortable on the sofa, propping my feet up on his wood coffee table. “Shit. That may be the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. What the hell happened?”

  I watch his Adams apple bobbing in his throat as he swallows, the pain from the memory showing on his face. “My brothers came into town for a race and they stayed with us in our tiny one-bedroom apartment. They threw a wild-ass party and I went looking for my girl because she hated parties. She rarely even drank. And then I found her in bed with my brother.”

  I stare at him wide eyed. “No fucking way.”

  His tone is dry and I can tell he’s holding back all emotions. “Yeah. So, I kicked them all out and filed for divorce the next day.”

  “Wow. Chris that’s awful.”

  He shrugs
his strong wide shoulders and I lay my head on them as he says. “That’s why I can’t handle lying or any bit of dishonesty. I haven’t been in a relationship since.” I see his lips curve up in a smirk, “I have some serious trust issues and wasn’t kidding when I said I’m fucked-up too.”

  I feel sickened by my own omissions of the truth from him. He’s such an amazing guy.

  “What about your relationship with your brother?”

  “There isn’t one.” His fingers pick at the frayed knee of his jeans, “Hell, there’s barely one with my other brother and my father, but I can’t blame it all on that. They sided with him, but my dad and I never really got along.”

  “I thought you had a decent relationship.”

  “We talk occasionally, but he was pretty disappointed when I didn’t want any part of the racing world. It’s like a fucking religion in my family. Like breathing. And I wasn’t interested in the slightest.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I was cool with being the black sheep of the family. I’ve made my peace with it.”

  That seems like the truth. He’s so strong and my definition of a real man.

  He turns his head and lifts my chin with his finger so that I have to look him in the eye. “What are you thinking?”

  How I’m lying scum that doesn't deserve you. “I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re just so open and honest. Most of the guys I’ve dated were emotionally crippled and my fiancé started out fairly honest, then he hid everything from me at the end.”

  “Well for the record, I definitely fell under the emotionally crippled category before I met you.”

  Shit, that should make me feel good, but it only magnifies my guilt, “I can’t believe you trust me.”

  He kisses my nose in a sweet gesture I don’t deserve. “I really care about you, Alex.” I lay my head back on his shoulder and let the feel and clean masculine scent of him calm me until he asks, “So, Shriller never confided in you?”

  Damn. I think back to the night before last and Shriller baring his soul to me. “Well we’ve been friends for a long time, but during our last talk he did tell me more than he had in our entire friendship.”