Dr. Campbell's Secret Son

by Anne Fraser

  ‘To be fair, it wasn’t an altogether unreasonable assumption. After all, how well do any of us know him? He’s only been here a couple of weeks and although I have nothing but admiration for his clinical skills, we know very little about his personal life. He never talks about himself. But, still, I should have known that he is too fine a doctor to even have been a possibility. It would never have crossed my mind if it hadn’t been for the syringes.’

  She looked at Sarah who had suddenly busied herself putting away swabs. ‘Oh, I’d forgotten. You knew him before, didn’t you?’

  Sarah thought rapidly. How much should she reveal about her true relationship with Jamie? It was likely that she and Lizzie would be working closely for years to come. But, on the other hand, if she told her, could Lizzie resist telling the others? It wasn’t as if Jamie was going to be around for very much longer. She looked at the nurse and met her frank gaze. Somehow she knew instinctively that she could trust Lizzie with her secret.

  ‘Can I trust you to keep something to yourself? I need to know that what I’m about to tell you will go no further.’

  ‘You have my word.’ Lizzie grinned. ‘Cross my heart and hope to die.’ She made the gesture with her fingers. Then the smile left her face. ‘You know, Sarah, working in emergency medicine, you get used to hearing and keeping secrets. I promise anything you tell me will go with me to the grave.’

  Sarah returned Lizzie’s candid look for a few moments before continuing.

  ‘Jamie and I first met while we were both at medical school. We didn’t hang out with the same crowd. He and his pals were considered the wild ones. Partying every night and climbing every weekend. My friends were the more studious, quieter set. But somehow,’ Sarah recalled smiling, ‘he still managed to get the best marks. He did ask me out once, but he had a reputation for being a bit of a womaniser so I said no. Then we met again as registrars. He still seemed a little wild, but instead of directing his energy into parties and womanising, he was putting it into extreme sports when he wasn’t working every hour he could. The consultants and the patients loved him. He asked me out again and although I turned him down several times, he persisted until finally I gave in and agreed to go out with him.’ Sarah paused.

  ‘We discovered a shared passion for hill walking and he introduced me to climbing. We were inseparable until…’

  ‘Go on.’ Lizzie encouraged.

  ‘Until we had finished our training and were eligible for consultant jobs. One day, almost out of the blue, he told me that he was going to Africa to work for a couple of years.’

  ‘Didn’t he ask you to go, too?’

  ‘No. From the beginning he made it clear that he wasn’t prepared to commit himself to anyone. Would never get married. In fact, I think it was when I raised the possibility of a future and children that he made his decision to go.’ She couldn’t stop the bitterness seeping into her voice.

  ‘And you thought that you could change him. That you’d be the one that would make him want to commit?’

  Sarah smiled wryly. ‘I suppose so. It makes me sound a little naïve. He never gave me a reason to think he had changed his mind except…’ Sarah’s voice cracked a little. ‘Except I really thought he loved me. In fact, until he told me he was leaving, I never doubted it for a moment.’

  ‘Sounds like he really hurt you. That he was a bit of a lad on the women front,’ Lizzie said sympathetically. ‘To be honest, the gossip around here is that he has someone back in Africa. Elspeth overheard him talking on the phone the other day, he seemed to be promising someone that he’d be back soon. And then there’s Annie Walker from upstairs.’

  Sarah smiled bitterly. ‘He does seem to have his hands full and I guess with hindsight it’s obvious the suggestion of commitment was enough to make him run a mile. All I know is that I was desperately in love with him. I believed I had found the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. And I was so sure he felt the same way. How wrong I was.’

  ‘And you never heard from him after he left?’

  ‘Not a word.’ It was all Sarah could do to disguise the pain she still felt at his sudden abandonment of her.

  ‘He must have been surprised to find out you had a son.’ Lizzie caught the expression on Sarah’s face and Sarah could see from her widened eyes that the whole truth was beginning to dawn.

  ‘How long is it since you last saw him?’

  ‘Fifteen months ago,’ Sarah admitted reluctantly.

  ‘Calum’s his son, isn’t he? I thought there was something familiar about your son. But I never guessed.’ Lizzie looked dumbfounded. ‘Does Jamie know? About Calum? Of course he must know. You’ll have told him when you found out you were pregnant.’

  Sarah hesitated, thinking back to the day she had taken the pregnancy test. ‘I didn’t tell him. I decided there was no point. He only found out the day I started work here. He had no idea I had had his child and I had no idea he worked here. So it was a bit of a shock for both of us.’

  ‘And now? Surely, now he knows about Calum, he wants to be part of your lives?’

  ‘Not noticeably. He came around to my flat last night and met Calum properly for the first time. Although he seemed taken with him, he told me he’s not ready to make anything but a financial commitment to Calum. As if I need or want his money! Neither do I want someone in Calum’s life who is only there when it suits him. Heaven knows, I had enough of that sort of father to realize it’s not what I want for my child. Calum deserves a father who is going to be around. Someone who will always be there for him. Not someone who lives halfway across the world and who puts his own needs first.’

  ‘Funny, I would never have thought of him as a man who would abandon his child. But, then, as I said, I don’t really know him.’

  ‘I was convinced I knew him. But obviously I don’t at all. I suppose there are plenty of men just like him, who run a mile from responsibility. But I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you so much.’ Sarah leaned over and placed a hand on Lizzie’s arm. ‘Please, don’t share this information with anyone else, Lizzie. I couldn’t bear it if my personal life became common knowledge. What’s more, whatever one can say about Jamie Campbell as a man, he really is one hell of a doctor. And as far as this department is concerned, that’s all that matters.’

  CHAPTER SIX

  KEITH THOMPSON waylaid Sarah as she left Lizzie in the treatment room.

  ‘Do you have a moment, Dr Carruthers?’ No matter how often Sarah had tried to tell him to call her by her first name, he insisted on using her full title. It amused her to think that Keith held her in the same awe that she had held her consultants as a junior. She didn’t feel that old—or that wise.

  ‘Sure. Is there a problem?’

  ‘I have an elderly lady with cardiac pain who needs to be admitted. The trouble is she’s refusing. She’s the sole carer of her forty-year-old son who has Down’s syndrome. Says he can’t be left on his own. He came in the ambulance with her. She won’t let me call Social Services either. When I suggested it she became quite agitated. In fact, she’s getting dressed to leave and I don’t know how to stop her.’

  ‘Would you like me to have a word with her?’ Sarah asked.

  ‘Could you?’ Keith sighed his relief. ‘It’s just if she goes home tonight without further tests and treatment, there’s no telling what could happen. And it’s not as if we could rely on the son to call us if there’s a problem. It simply wouldn’t be fair on either of them.’

  ‘Which cubicle is she in?’

  When Keith introduced her to the patient, a bright-eyed woman in her late seventies, Sarah knew she had a fight on her hands. Mrs Loveday was clearly frightened and upset, but more than that she had the air of a woman who was used to doing battle and getting her own way. Her son sat by her bedside, holding her hand. He had the distinctive features of someone with Down’s. He smiled engagingly at Sarah.

  ‘You really need to stay in overnight, Mrs Loveday,’ Sarah said gently.
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  ‘Can’t I come back tomorrow during the day and have the tests then? I really don’t see why an overnight stay is necessary. I’d only be using up a bed. There’s bound to be people who need it more than I do.’

  Sarah hid a smile. Mrs Loveday reminded her of her grandmother. Another feisty soul.

  ‘You need to stay in so we can keep you under observation overnight,’ Sarah said carefully. She needed to impress the seriousness of her condition without alarming her even more. ‘I know you’re worried about your son—David, isn’t it? But Social Services will find someone who can stay with him in your home. It will just be for a night or two.’

  ‘If I let Social Services get their hooks into us, they’ll never leave us in peace. It’ll be meals on wheels, day-care centres and goodness knows what else before we know it. They’ll say I’m not fit to look after David and try and take him away from me. The same as they did when he was born. Said he’d never amount to anything—that he was unlikely to talk or dress himself or go to the toilet even. Told me I should put him into care and forget about him. You see…’ she grabbed Sarah’s hand in a surprisingly strong grip ‘…I was a single mother, and in those days it was still frowned on. They said being a single mother was hard enough, without trying to bring up a handicapped child on my own.’

  Her words brought memories of her own pregnancy flooding back to Sarah.

  ‘Is that what’s worrying you? You think they might take David from you permanently? I can see why you’re worried, but times have changed a lot in recent years. Social Services are there to help you and David to stay together in your own home. They know that’s where he belongs—with his mother.’

  Mrs Loveday still didn’t look convinced.

  ‘They thought they knew better when he was born, but they were wrong. David manages to do everything by himself. Can’t you, sweetheart? He can even drive a car. And he has a job.’ David grinned his pleasure at his mother’s praise. Then she turned to Sarah again. ‘You medical people were wrong before so why should I trust you now?’

  Sarah sat down on the bed next to the elderly woman. ‘You’re absolutely right. We doctors have, and still can, make mistakes. We try our best not to, but at the end of the day we are only human. And when we’re wrong and things turn out better for the patient than we’d predicted, we are delighted. The doctors were wrong about David. You were right to fight to keep him. All we could do then was give you an opinion based on the knowledge available at the time, but nowadays we’re more clued up and are more conscientious about giving patients as much information as possible so they can make their own decisions.’ Sarah thought for a moment. She could see that Mrs Loveday was beginning to waver, but she needed her to be absolutely convinced that she could trust Sarah.

  ‘I have a little boy. He’s coming up for seven months now and is a lively wee thing. But there was a time when I was pregnant that I thought he might have Down’s syndrome.’ Sarah noticed that she had Mrs Loveday’s full attention. She stopped pulling on her clothes and sat back down, looking at Sarah with interest.

  ‘They didn’t have the tests when you were pregnant but now they do a blood test on all pregnant women that can show them if they are at increased risk of having a child with Down’s. Well, my test came back indicating that there was an increased risk. I had to make a decision. I could do two things. Do nothing and wait and see. Have an amniocentesis test, which carried a small risk of miscarriage, and, following that result, decide whether or not to continue the pregnancy. After a lot of thought and after speaking to women like yourself who have Down’s syndrome children, I realised what a great deal of pleasure they got from their children, and how most of them grow up, like David, into loving, reasonably independent adults. I decided to take the chance. I had almost decided once before to end the pregnancy because, like you, I was a single mother, but once I decided to go through with the pregnancy, it was as if—I don’t know—I had made a commitment to my unborn baby that I would love and cherish it regardless. As they say in the marriage vows. In sickness and in health.’

  Sarah paused for a moment and Mrs Loveday patted her hand in sympathy.

  ‘So I know how scared you are. I know that you want to protect your son, but isn’t it better that he gets to know and love and trust other people and places for that time, hopefully a long time from now, when you won’t be around?’

  ‘I know you’re right, dear. It’s just difficult to let them have their independence. You won’t know about that now, but just you wait until your son grows up!’

  ‘That time will come for me, too. As it must for all parents eventually. Take a leap of faith and accept the help Social Services can give you now. After all, if you don’t look after your health, you might not be around as long as you could be. Let us look after you now and hopefully you will be there for David for many more years.’

  ‘Very well, dear. I guess I don’t really have a choice. But only if they’ll send someone over to stay in the house. I don’t want him upset more than he has to be.’

  ‘I’ll make sure of it,’ Sarah promised. ‘In the meantime, let’s get you back into your gown.’

  * * *

  Jamie moved away from the curtain of the cubicle. He had stopped to listen when he’d caught Sarah’s words about her pregnancy. He was dismayed. He had no idea that Sarah had had to face so many fears during her pregnancy on her own. He should have been there for her. And now there was a good chance he was about to inflict further months, if not years, of worry and anxiety. He had to find out if he carried the gene, and soon. He would call Robert and let him know that he had to have the result. Stat.

  * * *

  Jamie put the phone down with a frown. He checked in with the hospital back in Africa whenever he could and was usually reassured that they seemed to be coping without him. However, today the conversation he’d had with his colleague had worried him. Greg’s usual ebullience seemed to have deserted him and his normally upbeat manner had been subdued. At first he had denied there was anything worrying him until, at Jamie’s insistence, he had admitted his concerns.

  ‘One of the more experienced doctors has had to return to Europe unexpectedly—a family emergency,’ Greg had told Jamie. ‘We were coping, just about, without you, but now being two doctors down is putting a strain on our already overstretched resources. I simply can’t expect anyone to do more. We’re all working twelve-hour shifts as it is.’

  ‘Do you need me to come back?’ Jamie had asked. ‘I still have a couple of weeks left to do here, but perhaps if I explain, they’ll let me go earlier.’ Even as Jamie had asked the question he had known it wasn’t that simple. If it hadn’t been for Sarah and Calum he would have already booked the first plane back. He would have hated to let the Glasgow hospital down, but it was far easier for them to find a replacement than the small, poorly funded hospital in Africa.

  ‘No, we can manage for another couple of weeks. Just. As long as we know you’ll be coming, we can soldier on.’

  ‘If you’re sure?’ Jamie said, not really convinced. ‘You will let me know if it all becomes too much?’

  ‘Straight away, I promise,’ was the reply.

  ‘How’s Sibongele?’ Jamie asked. ‘Is he behaving himself?’

  Again there was a slight hesitation. ‘He’s OK, I guess. He misses you. He asks every day when you’re coming back.’

  ‘Any news of family yet?’

  ‘We’re still trying to track down his mother’s sister. One of the nurses thinks she knows which village she lives in and we have sent word to her that Sibongele is well enough to leave the hospital and go home. But so far we haven’t heard anything. We don’t even know if she got the message.’

  ‘If we haven’t heard by the time I get back, I’ll go to the village myself and try and find her. The boy needs to be with his family.’

  ‘The trouble is, Jamie, I don’t think he wants to go. You know he thinks of you as his family since his mother died. He’s been at the hospita
l for so long now, he doesn’t remember anything else. He loves helping in the wards. He’s bright and recites everything he’s learnt from you at the drop of the hat.’ Greg laughed. ‘I swear some of the patients trust his opinion more than they do ours.’

  Jamie smiled, too. He could easily picture fourteen-year-old Sibongele working on the wards with his ready smile and keenness to help. But he was a little concerned at how attached the boy had become to him. Heaven knew why the boy thought he could be a father to him—he couldn’t even be sure he could be a father to his own child. But since the child had lost his mother to the TB that had kept Sibongele in the hospital for the past six months, he had developed an attachment to Jamie. And, Jamie had to admit, he was fond of the boy. In fact, although he was keen to see the boy reunited with his aunt, he knew he would miss him when he left.

  After he replaced the receiver, Jamie prowled around his small flat. He felt restless and ill at ease. Once or twice he reached for the phone to call Sarah, but pulled back at the last minute. What, after all, could he say to her?

  Jamie had always paid little heed to his surroundings, but today the one bed-roomed apartment seemed to closing in on him. As hospital accommodation went, it was clean and modern with an open-plan sitting room divided by a breakfast bar and a functional kitchenette. The rest of the flat comprised a boxy bedroom and a tiny bathroom with overhead shower.

  A steady downpour of rain rattled the window-panes, dampening his spirits even further, and he experienced a sudden yearning for Africa.

  As he thought of the country he had spent the last year and a half in, he realised how much he was missing the wide open spaces, and the mission hospital with the staff and patients. They would be struggling to cope without him. There were already too few doctors for too many patients. For a moment he let himself imagine what it would be like to return there with Sarah at his side. She would love the country, he was certain, and as for Calum, he would love it, too. There was an old reservoir that the staff used for dips. He could teach his son to swim. He pushed the thoughts away. It was unlikely to happen. Perhaps he should return sooner than he had planned? Hand in his notice and leave as soon as the hospital managed to find another locum to replace him? There was probably little requirement to further brush up his skills. Even the short time he had spent at the Royal was sufficient for him to be reassured that his clinical skills were fully up to date.