by Anne Fraser
Taking advantage of a break in the dancing, Sarah went over to congratulate the happy couple.
‘I just wish everyone could experience the happiness that I feel today.’ Lizzie looked pointedly at Sarah and then looked over at Jamie, who was moving towards them, making her meaning clear. ‘Make the most of your time out, Sarah, and enjoy the dancing.’ As Lizzie and Stewart rushed off to greet some late arrivals, Jamie walked up to Sarah.
‘May I have the pleasure of this dance?’ he asked formally, then, noticing her gaze sweeping the room for her son, he added, ‘Don’t worry about Calum. He’s having a great time being fussed over by the staff. And your mum has found a kindred spirit in Elspeth.’
What the hell, thought Sarah. Now she was here she was determined to have a good time. ‘I’d be delighted,’ she said with a small curtsy, equalling his formality. ‘Just let me kick off these heels first.’
They joined several others who had lined up for Strip the Willow. As the dancers swirled to the music, Sarah began to relax and enjoy herself. Jamie was surprisingly light on his feet for someone so tall and muscular. But climbers had to be agile as well as strong. Every time they met in the middle Sarah was acutely aware of his powerful arms clasping hers.
‘Whew!’ Sarah laughed as the dance came to an end. ‘I had forgotten how much energy Scottish country dancing takes. I need to cool down.’
‘So do I, ‘said Jamie, a mischievous glint in his eye. ‘Let’s go out on the patio for a while.’
As he led her out, Sarah continued, ‘I’m seriously unfit. I desperately need to make time for some exercise.’
‘I’m going climbing tomorrow. Why don’t you come with me?’
For a moment Sarah was tempted. The drive up had made her realise how desperately she had missed the mountains. ‘Who else is going?’
‘I’m going on my own. None of my old climbing buddies were free so I decided to go anyway.’
Sarah looked at him. ‘You shouldn’t be going on your own. What if something happens? Who is going to belay for you?’
‘I don’t need anyone. You know I’ve climbed on my own a hundred times. Besides, if you come with me I won’t be on my own, will I?’
‘I’m afraid emotional blackmail isn’t going to work. And, besides, haven’t you forgotten something?’
‘Calum. Actually, I’ve already spoken to your mum. She thinks it’s a great idea for you to have a day off. She and Elspeth are busy hatching a plan for Calum tomorrow.’
‘Does Elspeth know..?’
‘That I’m Calum’s father? I’m not sure. I certainly haven’t told anyone—although you know I’d be proud to acknowledge him as my son, I rather think that’s your decision, don’t you?’
‘Yes, it is. I’m not sure at this stage whether there is any need for anyone to know.’
Jamie left the unspoken question hang in the air. ‘Think about it at least. It will give us some uninterrupted time together for once,’ he said as a group of guests spilled onto the patio.
The rest of the evening passed all too quickly. Jean had told Sarah she was taking a sleepy Calum home after a couple of hours. ‘I don’t know about him, but I’m ready for my bed.’ Sarah had cast a worried look at her mother.
‘If you’re feeling tired, Mum, I’ll come, too. I’m quite happy to leave. After all, I’ve managed a couple of dances.’
‘And spoil your first night out in months? No, I don’t think so.’
‘I don’t want you driving back on your own if you’re tired.’
Jamie came up just in time to hear the last of the conversation. ‘Look, I have a room booked here for the night. I thought it would be more convenient for an early start on the hills in the morning. Jean and Calum could take it for the night.’
‘It’s very kind of you, Jamie,’ Jean replied, ‘but we couldn’t possibly put you out.’
‘I think its easier all round if I just take Mum and Calum home. Calum needs his routine,’ Sarah interjected. ‘Especially in the morning. Besides, I didn’t bring enough nappies and bottles for overnight. Thanks for the offer, Jamie, but I’ll just go and fetch my coat.’
‘Stop right there,’ Jamie said in a voice that Sarah knew well. ‘Your mother is quite right. You need a night off. You stay and enjoy yourself. I’ll take your mother and Calum home. It’s the least I can do,’ he finished with a pointed look at Sarah. But his look held something else. Almost supplication. Sarah knew what he was really demanding. That she let him help. ‘It’ll only take me forty minutes to get there and back,’ Jamie continued. ‘I’ll be back before the band finishes, so don’t give away the last dance to anyone else.’
‘All right,’ she agreed reluctantly, wondering if she was making the right decision. ‘We can collect your car in the morning, Mum. If you want to sleep in my room, I’ll take the sofa so I won’t disturb you when I come in.’
‘I’ll just take Calum through to mine,’ Jean said. ‘I’ve got everything there he needs, including a travel cot. It will give you a chance for a lie-in. Unless you’re going climbing with Jamie in the morning?’
Sarah caught the conspiratorial look that passed between Jamie and her mother. If they thought they were going to outmanoeuvre her they were very much mistaken.
‘I’m not going climbing tomorrow. I simply don’t want to leave Calum for a whole day when I can help it—not yet. Maybe another time, though,’ she conceded.
‘Perhaps the three of us could do something together tomorrow instead. I can leave the climb for another time,’ Jamie suggested.
This was different. If Jamie was prepared to put his child’s needs before his own, it was a start.
‘I’ll think about it. Let you know before the end of the night?’
‘OK, you two,’ Jamie said ‘Let’s get going. Can we take your car, Jean? I somehow don’t think I can manage two adults and a baby seat in a sports car.’
Another change Jamie was going to have to make if he was to take up his paternal responsibilities—the sports car would have to go. Sarah couldn’t help a smile of satisfaction. Jamie was going to find out pretty soon what being a parent was really like.
* * *
On the way back from dropping off Jean and Calum, Jamie knew he had one thing left to do. He pulled over into a layby, and picking up his mobile, dialled the international number he knew from memory. After a pause filled with clicks and whirs, a distorted voice answered the phone.
‘Lebowa Hospital. How may I direct your call?’
‘Dr Lawson, please.’ Jamie had to wait another couple of minutes before Greg, his friend and colleague, answered.
‘Jamie. Delighted to hear your voice. I hope you’re ringing to tell us you’re coming back sooner than expected.’
‘Actually, Greg, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I was calling to let you know that I’ve decided to apply for a permanent position here. I’ll be coming back for a week or two, at least until you find someone to replace me and to see Sibongele settled, but after that I’m afraid you’re on your own. I’ll explain everything when I see you.’
There was a short silence on the other end of the phone.
‘I’m sorry to hear that, James. But I’m sure you’ve got your reasons. I don’t have to tell you how disappointed we will be to lose you. We need all the doctors of your calibre and experience we can get.’
‘I know, Greg. If there was any other way…If you like, I can try and recruit someone for you this side.’
‘That would be a help. The sooner the better, and at least we’ll have you back for a short while, but, James, I was just about to phone you. There’s something else…’
‘What is it? Is Sibongele all right?’
Jamie could hear Greg’s deep sigh over the crackling of the phone.
‘Actually, he’s not. We finally traced his aunt and she won’t take him. Says she has too many other mouths to feed, and I can’t say I blame her. The trouble is, when we told Sibongele that he’d have to go into care, he
became very distressed. Said he wanted to stay with you. We explained that that wasn’t possible, and he’d have to go. So he ran away. We found him eventually, poor boy, frozen and frightened, and took him back to the hospital, but he says he’ll run away from the home if we make him go. There’s no talking to him. He just keeps asking for you. Says you’ll make everything all right.’
Jamie rubbed a weary hand across his face. Poor Sibongele. He’d known so many losses in his short life—first his mother from the tuberculosis that had kept the child in hospital for the past six months, and now his aunt. And although he didn’t know it yet, he was about to lose him, too. Jamie had promised the young boy he’d stay in touch if he went to live with his aunt. But how could he keep his promise now? Sibongele would never understand why he, too, appeared to be deserting him.
‘How is he now?’
‘He’s not saying much, except to ask when you’ll be back.’
‘Look, don’t say anything to him about me leaving until I have time to think. I need to be the one to tell him.’
Jamie thought for a moment. ‘My locum here finishes at the end of next week. I’ll try and get a flight out after that. Keep trying to find someone to replace me in the meantime, and I’ll do my best to find someone this end.’
‘Any help or time you could give us would be gratefully received. Thank you.’
The two men spent the next few minutes talking about the hospital before saying their goodbyes. At Jamie’s request, Greg put Sibongele on the phone for a couple of minutes.
‘Hello,’ Sibongele greeted him. ‘When are you coming home?’
‘I’ll be coming soon, Sibongele. We’ll talk then. But in the meantime you must promise me that you won’t run away again.’
‘Only if I can stay with you.’
Jamie’s heart sunk. How could he make a promise that he couldn’t possibly keep? Jamie knew, despite the stoicism that Sibongele had always shown through his long recovery, the fourteen-year-old would be devastated to lose him too..
‘Just promise me, Sibongele. No more running away.’
‘OK. Until you come back. I like it here at the hospital. They are teaching me at the school. If I learn, maybe I, too, can become a doctor. Dr Greg and the others are letting me help and they say I am quick to learn.’
‘I know you are a good worker and a good student.’ Jamie thought for a moment. Was there a chance he could arrange for Sibongele to study in the UK? He would need to find out before he raised the boy’s hopes.
As Jamie ended the call, he felt torn. He’d have to go back, at least until they’d found someone to replace him and he knew that Sibongele was all right. Sarah would understand when he explained, and it wouldn’t be for ever, a couple of months perhaps, maybe a little longer, and then he could return to be with them both for good.
* * *
Before Sarah knew it, Jamie had arrived back. She had danced non-stop in the hour he had been away and her feet were beginning to ache. She had noticed that Karen and Keith were dancing a lot together and wondered if she was witnessing the beginnings of a new romance. Or had it being going on for some time and she had been too preoccupied to notice? Whatever, she was pleased for them. They suited each other, the vivacious Karen acting as a foil to Keith’s more serious nature. She hoped that if they were involved with one another, their romance would run more smoothly than hers and Jamie’s had.
‘Is this dance taken?’ a deep voice said in her ear. She looked up to find Jamie looking down at her, his eyes glinting. Without waiting for a reply, he led her onto the dance floor, where the band were playing a waltz to slow down the tempo and bring the evening to a close.
Jamie held Sarah close to his chest as they moved to the music. She could feel the steady beat of his heart and the hard muscle beneath her hands as she slid her arms around his back. He pulled her nearer.
‘Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?’ he said huskily, sliding his hands down her bare back to the point where her bottom curved.
She felt the flames of desire course through her body. She could smell the faint whiff of aftershave and the familiar scent was intoxicating her senses. He bent his head to hers and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her. Right there in front of their colleagues.
‘Let’s get out of here,’ he growled instead, and, taking her hand, led her out of the door into the grounds. He found a secluded spot underneath a sweeping oak tree, before pulling her once again into his arms.
‘God, I’ve missed you,’ he murmured before claiming her mouth.
She kissed him back hungrily, allowing the months of anger and hurt to disappear. What did it matter if he left her again? Her need for him right now was too strong. Tomorrow could wait.
He caressed her face, her breasts with urgent hands. ‘Stay with me tonight, SJ. Please. Stay.’
She felt helpless to resist him. She nodded imperceptibly and he led her back inside. She was barely aware of the other guests as they passed through the foyer. He led her up the stairs, too impatient to wait for a lift to take them up the couple of flights. He had barely time to close the door behind them before they were once more in each other’s arms, tearing at each others clothes in their desperate need.
Within seconds she stood before him in her bra and panties. She had giggled as he had struggled out of his kilt, the unfamiliar garment becoming entangled in his feet in his haste. He had looked wounded at her laughter before pulling her onto the bed. ‘Hell, don’t look at me like that, woman,’ he said hoarsely before finishing the removal of her silk underwear with a proficiency that left her breathless.
Naked before him, she was suddenly shy. His eyes raked her body and she felt herself tingle with the blatant desire she could see there. He placed his hands gently on her hips, circling her hip bones with his thumb. She shuddered as he raised a hand and cupped her breast. Hot flames of desire licked her body and she groaned, leaning into his touch. He let his hands travel downwards towards, stroking the soft flesh at the tops of her legs. She moaned with her need for him. She wanted him inside her, filling the void that was within her. Now! She couldn’t wait any longer. It was his turn to gasp as she reached for him and guided him into her, sitting on his lap, her legs astride his. As he filled her she stopped for a moment. He took her face in his hands and they stared into each other’s eyes. Then, involuntarily, she began to move her hips against him. He grasped her buttocks, supporting her until finally they both allowed their release to claim them. As they lay in each other’s arms, spent, Sarah cuddled into his shoulder.
She didn’t want to talk about the future or the past. All she wanted was to remain there with him and pretend the night would never end.
‘Do you think anyone noticed our hasty departure?’ she said, a smile in her voice.
‘Don’t give a damn if they did,’ was the reply.
‘We’ll be a source of gossip throughout the hospital by Monday if anyone did.’ Sarah said with a sigh.
‘You don’t mind too much, do you?’ said Jamie lazily, allowing his hands to travel over her body, refamiliarising himself with its contours.
Sarah felt herself grow warm as his hands travelled over her, feeling the new curves that motherhood had left. Self-consciously she pulled her stomach in, aware that it was no longer the flat one that he had known.
‘Hey, I like the new curves,’ Jamie protested, aware of her reaction. ‘They suit you.’ She felt his hand travel lower still and this time her intake of breath was in case he stopped. She couldn’t bear it if he stopped.
After they’d had their fill of each other once more, Sarah climbed out of bed and began to get dressed.
‘Where are you going?’ Jamie asked, reaching to pull her back down next to him.
‘I’ve got to get home,’ Sarah said, pulling her dress on over her underwear. ‘I know Calum is safe with my mother but I need to be at home just in case he wakes up and wants me. I’ll creep in and put him back in his own cot. I know Mum said
she’d keep him till morning but she already does enough. She looked tired tonight. I worry it’s all too much for her.’ She bent down to slip on her shoes.
Jamie started to get out of bed. ‘I’ll drive you home.’
‘Don’t be silly. How will you get your car?’
‘I could stay the night with you and we could pick it up on our way out tomorrow,’ Jamie suggested.
‘I don’t think so. I think we should take things slowly for a while,’ Sarah said softly, pressing him back down and laughing as she avoided his reaching arms. She picked up her bag, and looked at Jamie once more. He was lying on his back, arms behind his head, grinning at her. She wanted nothing more at that moment than to crawl back next to him
‘After all, we have all the time in the world now,’ she added.
‘SJ, there is something I want to talk to you about,’ Jamie replied.
Something in his tone stopped her in her tracks. Somehow she knew immediately that she didn’t want to hear what he had to say.
‘Sarah,’ he said quietly. ‘I’m sorry, but I have to go back…’
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘GO BACK?’ Sarah echoed, stunned.
‘I made a phone call to Africa on my mobile while I was on my way back and—’
‘But you said that you would do anything to be with Calum and me,’ Sarah interrupted.
‘And I meant it. But they need me—’
But Sarah was in no mood to let him finish. ‘So what was all this, then?’ She indicated the rumpled bed with a sweep of her hand. Suddenly she was furious. How could she have been so stupid? She should have known that Jamie would do anything in his power to achieve the result he wanted. He had clearly never intended to stay. What was it he had actually said? I’ll do anything to be with you and Calum. Stupidly she had assumed that he’d meant he would be staying. But obviously he had never had any intention of not going back to Africa. Did he really think that all he had to do was seduce her and she’d give up everything, uproot her son and go with him to Africa?
