SHIVER

by Tiffinie Helmer

  Tern waved her hand. “Of course he isn’t a mistake. That wasn’t what I meant.” She leaned forward. “Raven is there a chance you could have gotten pregnant again?”

  “Uh…I don’t know.” She felt sick.

  “I’d do the math.” Tern reached into her purse and pulled out a small box. “Here, there’s this great invention called a condom.”

  Raven raised her hands as though in defense against the small square box. “I don’t need them. I’m not having sex with him again.”

  “Aidan still in the area?”

  “Yeah.”

  Tern tossed her the box. “Better keep them on you.” When Raven went to object again, Tern held up her hand. “Do you want to waste time discussing your track record when it comes to that man?”

  “No,” she mumbled, taking the box, and putting it in the pocket of her overalls, if for no other reason than to shut her sister up. There was no way she and Aidan were going to sleep together again. Besides, he hated her.

  “Okay,” Tern continued. “I wouldn’t worry too much about Fox. The little scamp loves you. But he’s got a Y chromosome so he’ll need to milk it for a while.”

  “What about his secret?”

  “You’re going to have to forgive him. Your secret was worse. Besides, you’re the adult, and he’s just a kid. Do you blame him for wanting any information he could find about his father?”

  “No,” she whispered.

  “Didn’t those parenting books you devoured teach you not to lie?”

  “I only lied to protect him.”

  “Doubt he sees it that way.” Tern shook her head. “If you want to make this right, you’ll have to admit you were wrong. And there’s no standing in the way of Fox having a relationship with Aidan. You try to roadblock that and you’ll lose him.”

  “I know.” All these years she’d kept quiet to keep the Hartes from influencing her son. A lot of good that had done. She had to trust she’d raised Fox in such a manner that he knew right from wrong. Probably more than she did.

  “So, now that Fox is taken care of, what are you going to do about Aidan?”

  “Not sleep with him again,” she blurted out.

  Tern rolled her eyes. “I’m not wasting my time with that one. What are you going to do if he demands custody?”

  Raven sucked in a breath. “I don’t know. I’m scared, Tern. I can’t lose my son.”

  “Do you really think Aidan would take Fox away from you?” Tern sobered as the reality of that thought seemed to hit her hard too.

  “I don’t know. Right now, he hates me.”

  Tern retook the seat opposite where Raven was curled up on the couch. “It’s not like you to avoid a problem. Well, that is, I never thought so before. But you’ve avoided this problem for twelve years.”

  Raven glanced guiltily away, toward the windows framing the view of the river, iced over now, much like her heart. No, that wasn’t true—there were cracks showing in the hard encasement. Like a spring thaw. Spring in Alaska was no simple affair. There was no gradual melting. Break up was the term, and it was apt. That was how her heart felt, like at any moment it was going to rupture open.

  “I can’t talk to Aidan right now.”

  “You’re right, you can’t.” Tern studied her. “You definitely have to clean yourself up first.”

  Raven looked down at her old overalls and ratty t-shirt. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing? It’s what I always wear when I’m working.”

  “Be truthful. Not just when you’re working.” Tern rolled her eyes. “Besides, you aren’t working today.” She gestured at Raven’s outfit. “If you were, you’d add mud to that getup. I’d suggest—highly suggest—you clean up and wear something that knocks his socks off.”

  “I told you, I’m not sleeping with him again.”

  Tern shook her head and tsked. “You wear something that is going to scramble his brain, whether you plan on having sex with him or not. If he isn’t thinking straight, your chances of getting what you’re after rise in your favor. I can’t believe I have to explain this stuff to you.” She sighed. “Now, how are you going to break the news to the rest of the family?”

  Breaking the news to the rest of the family was no simple affair. Tern had dragged her to the lodge where she’d gathered everyone, declaring an emergency family meeting. She had them sitting at the kitchen table, except Fiona who was putting the kettle on to boil. Her mother had taken one look at Raven and already knew what was up.

  “What’s this all about?” Pike grumbled. “The lunch crowd is going to start any minute.”

  “Brie’s managing the restaurant,” Fiona said, her voice always seemed to soothe Pike into compliance. “She’ll handle everything until you get back.”

  “All right, Raven,” Tern said. “The floor’s yours.”

  Great. At least Fox wasn’t here for this. He was still in school. So was Chickadee, which meant she’d have to go through this again later with her baby sister. What a great role model she’d turned out to be. Raven ran her sweaty hands down the front of her overalls, hooking her thumbs in the bibs, and wondered where to start.

  “Some of us are getting old here,” Grandma Coho said, beading another strip of leather.

  “Uhm…well, you see…” Raven bit her lip. Sweat broke out over her body as all eyes turned to stare at her. “Okay…it’s like this…”

  “Aidan is Fox’s father,” Tern blurted out. She gave Raven a shrug. “Sorry, sis, but none of us have all day.”

  Lynx gave a snort and fell back into his chair. “I had a feeling this was coming. How’d Aidan take the news? You have told him?” He shared a look with Eva who raised a brow.

  “Uh…yeah.” Had everyone guessed Aidan was Fox’s father? Had she been a fool all these years? Okay, she didn’t need the answer to that right now. She worried the end of her braid with her fingers. “You can imagine Aidan wasn’t happy. That is, he was happy about Fox, but not happy with…me.”

  “Well, I should say not,” Gran piped up, her beading forgotten. She pointed her needle at Raven, her eyes squinting over her bifocals. “All these years you’ve lied to him, child. You’ve lied to us. I know you were brought up better than that.”

  “Coho,” Fiona said. “She doesn’t need a lecture right now.” Fiona gave Raven an encouraging smile, then returned to the stove, shutting off the burner as the kettle whistled.

  Raven glanced at Pike. He had yet to say anything. He’d tightened his lips, and the look of disappointment on his face caused her breath to catch. It twisted her gut, and she suddenly felt like she’d disappointed her father. Pike had stepped in as the patriarch of the family, and with his resemblance to her dad, sometimes it felt as though she was talking to him when she spoke to Pike. Like now. Her dad wouldn’t have been proud of the way she’d handled this situation either. But then if her father had lived, she would have made other choices when she’d found out she was carrying Aidan’s baby. Life would have turned out completely different.

  A hush fell over the room as they all waited to see what Pike would say. He shared a look with Fiona before resting his elbows on the table and steepled his fingers. “I take it Fox is aware of who his father is?”

  Raven nodded, the emotion backing up her throat preventing her from telling them Fox had been aware for four years. It would probably be best if she never told them that bit of news.

  “That explains why the scamp has been stomping around here like a pup with a wounded paw.” He glanced briefly at Fiona, giving her a nod of thanks as she set a mug of tea in front of him.“That settles it then,” he said softly.

  “Settles what?” Raven asked.

  “Aidan’s one of us now.” Pike blew on his tea and took a sip as though the problem was resolved.

  “What? No.” She frowned.

  “He’s Fox’s father. That makes him part of the family.” Pike’s tone clearly stated there would be no argument.

  “Pike,” Lynx said slowly, mimicking
Pike’s posture. “Making him a member of the family when there are still unanswered questions about Dad is a bit premature.”

  “I’m content with the answers Aidan gave twelve years ago.” Pike looked at each of them in turn. “All of you need to let it go.” His gaze settled on Raven. “For Fox’s sake.”

  Pike set his tea aside and stood. “I need to get back.” He turned to Fiona. “Walk with me?”

  They left the room together, and Raven knew the two of them would be discussing her and her problems. She felt like a kid who’d just been caught in a compromising position. Well, she had, and she didn’t have the excuse of young age to fall back on this time.

  “I’ll say this for all of you,” Eva said having kept quiet throughout the meeting. “Never a dull moment being a part of this family.”

  Raven entered the restaurant not knowing what she was going to say to Pike, but knowing she needed to speak to him. Somehow she needed to erase his disappointment in her.

  As she strode toward the bar, she noticed Aidan at a table with a very young, very beautiful woman, their heads nestling together as they talked. A feeling totally unlike anything she had ever felt before seeped into her body. The woman leaned her head against Aidan’s shoulder, and he gave her a hug. Raven wanted to yank the woman out of his arms by her shiny blond roots. She walked up to their table.

  “Aidan?”

  He jerked back at the sound of her voice. “Raven.” He sounded surprised, or was it guilt at being caught with another woman just twenty-four hours after he’d slept with her? He rose to his feet.

  “I…uh…I would like you to meet my cousin.” He indicated the girl, who looked up at Raven, blinking back tears from her large blue eyes. “Lana, this is Raven. The woman I told you about.”

  Told what about?

  Lana dabbed her eyes with a napkin and gave Raven a timid smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  Raven pulled out one of the chairs and sat. She didn’t care that she hadn’t been invited. “You have a cousin?” Why hadn’t she heard of this cousin before? And why was she here?

  Aidan retook his seat. “Roland is her father. Lana traveled here with her boyfriend, hoping to stop Roland from causing…some mischief.”

  “Mischief?” Goodness gracious. Were any of his relatives law abiding? She studied Lana, wondering if her sweet innocence was an act. Aidan must have picked up on her mood, because he leaned closer to Lana as though to shield the little blonde from her.

  “Lana, why don’t you go and find Peter.” Aidan glared at Raven. “I need a moment with Raven.”

  “Okay, but you won’t leave the lodge, will you?” Lana looked up at Aidan all teary-eyed again.

  “I won’t go anywhere. Same goes for you and Peter. All right?”

  “Yes.” Lana took a deep breath and tried to smile. She turned to Raven. “It was nice to meet you.”

  Raven nodded and watched the petite beauty walk out of the restaurant and into the main part of the lodge. She turned back to Aidan. “What’s going on?”

  “Lana is really fragile right now. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t scare her to death.”

  “What are you talking about? I was perfectly pleasant.”

  “You were not. My skin is still burning from the scorching look you gave us.”

  “Whatever,” she scoffed. “Want to tell me why she’s here?”

  “Not really,” he said, under his breath.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I’m tired of being judged by you.” He leaned across the table, his eyes hard, direct. “Things are going to change between you and me, starting now. First, I’m Fox’s father, and nothing you can do will keep me away from him. I suggest you don’t even try. Second, you need to quit blaming me for what my father did to yours.”

  She sucked in her breath and opened her mouth to object. “Aidan—”

  “I’m not finished. Third, until I say different I don’t want you and Fox out at Earl’s place.”

  That she hadn’t expected, and it took the heat out of her anger. “Why?”

  His jaw hardened. “You don’t want to hear why. For your and Fox’s safety, I don’t want you there.”

  Not that she wanted to return to Earl’s, but to be told she couldn’t, didn’t set well.

  “Now,” he continued, “about yesterday.” He rested elbows on the table, his brows settling heavy over his eyes. “You made love with me. We didn’t use protection. Whether or not you can love me again, doesn’t matter. You are not pushing me out of your life this time.”

  It took her a moment to catch her breath. “That sounds like an ultimatum.”

  “Call it whatever you want, but you’re stuck with me.”

  “Nice to see you two getting along.” Pike came up, plunking down a cup of coffee in front of her. “Might want to take your ‘discussion’ somewhere more private. You’re garnering attention.”

  Raven glanced around the dining room. Sure enough they had become the entertainment. Chatanika was a small town, barely a town, more like a village. Whatever had been said this afternoon between her and Aidan would be shared with the whole population. Great.

  “Thanks for the heads up,” Aidan said.

  Pike put a hand on Aidan’s shoulder and looked at Raven. “You tell him?”

  Raven paled.

  “Tell me what?”

  Pike cocked a brow.

  Raven studied the table and drew circles with her finger on the surface. “I hadn’t gotten around to it yet.”

  Pike harrumphed. “Lot of things you seem to take your time with getting around to.”

  His disappointment weighed heavy on her shoulders. “A meeting was called,” she said to Aidan. “I informed everyone that you were Fox’s father.”

  Pike slapped Aidan on the back. “Welcome to the family, son.”

  Aidan looked up at Pike, speechless. He swiveled his gaze toward Raven.

  “You’re Fox’s father. Apparently, that makes you one of us.”

  Aidan swallowed, glanced between the two of them, and suddenly stumbled to his feet. “I have to go.”

  She watched him rush out of the restaurant. What was that all about?

  “Don’t just sit there.” Pike reached down and hauled her to her feet. “Go after the boy.”

  “Why?”

  Pike grabbed her coat and shoved her toward the door. “You aren’t that dense.” He shook his head. “Actually, with Aidan you’ve always been minus a fat load of brain cells. That man has always longed for a loving family. Now get out there, and fix this mess you’ve made.” He opened the door and pushed her out into the cold. Aidan was standing next to his rental, staring off toward the sunset.

  Raven struggled into her coat. Where did she start? “Aidan—”

  “What does that look like to you?” Aidan pointed toward the direction of Earl’s cabin.

  A plume of gray and black smoke rose above the trees, staining the sunset in purple bruises.

  Fire.

  Aidan nodded as though he’d heard her dreaded thought and wrenched open the door to his vehicle.

  Without thinking, Raven ran around to the passenger side and jumped in.

  “You aren’t coming with me.”

  “I’m not letting you go alone.”

  “Things have changed. I don’t want you anywhere near me.”

  She tried to deflect that barb. “You’re wasting time. There won’t be anything left if you don’t get this thing moving.”

  He cursed and started the Tahoe, fishtailing out of the parking lot. “You’re the most stubborn person I know.”

  “Back at ya. Now what the hell is going on?”

  He tightened his lips into a thin line of defiance. It wasn’t going to work.

  “Why is your cousin here? And don’t tell me she came for a vacation. She’s the beach bunny type.”

  “You don’t know a thing about her.”

  “Then tell me. And why do you seem to care so much about Earl’s place bu
rning? You offered to let the village burn it for the winter solstice.”

  The Tahoe went into a skid, and Aidan let up on the gas, turning the wheel in the opposite direction, safely keeping the vehicle on the road and screaming toward the smoke, which was blacker and thicker the closer they got.

  “There’s something inside that cabin someone is willing to kill for.”

  “Then why burn it down?”

  He gave her a sharp look. “He must have found it.”

  “He? You know what it is, don’t you? What does it have to do with Lana?”

  He let out an impatient sound. “Uncle Roland’s in town. Lana received a letter from him stating his intentions.”

  “What are his intentions?” A trickle of dread snaked through her.

  “Murder and theft,” he bit out.

  “Whose murder?” she whispered, already suspecting the answer. The flexing of his jaw answered her question. “Why does he want you dead?”

  “I killed his brother, remember? Roland believes in a biblical form of justice.”

  “But…you were protecting someone.”

  “He doesn’t see it that way.”

  “Then what the hell are we doing racing toward Earl’s? You should be leaving town.”

  “Because I won’t run from him, and he’s after the gold.”

  “What gold?”

  “Your father’s.”

  “What?”

  He sighed and finally gave into her questions. “It’s the only thing that makes sense. Somewhere Earl had to have hidden gold in that cabin. In the letter to Lana, Roland spoke of a windfall he was going to collect. Earl didn’t have anything…unless he’d hidden it. And the only thing I could think of that he would have hidden was gold. Gold he killed your father for.”

  Raven sat still in the seat as they raced over the snow-packed back road. Shadows reached like demon fingers across the landscape as the sun gave up the fight. They rounded the corner, and there was the cabin, squatting un-charred but backlit by glowing flames. Smoke billowed and spread out from behind the cabin like death’s blanket smothering the birch and spruce trees.

  Aidan jerked the Tahoe into park and swung open the door. “Stay here.”