SHIVER

by Tiffinie Helmer

Fox pulled up a chair. “What happened.”

  Raven joined them at the table. “Fox—”

  “No more secrets, Mom.” He tightened his lips, his eyes those of an adult and not a boy.

  Raven shared another look with Aidan. “Okay, no more secrets. Aidan, you want to start?”

  Aidan blanched. “Me?”

  “Welcome to parenthood.” She couldn’t help the smirk. Parenting wasn’t for wimps.

  Aidan cleared his throat and hesitantly started the afternoon events with seeing the smoke from the woodpile. He kept glancing at Raven to see if he was doing okay. The man was as nervous as an arctic hare staring down a pack of ravenous wolves.

  She had to give it to him. He downplayed the shooting and focused on the moves that had brought them to safety, even going so far as to compliment her on her NASCAR driving skills. She gave him a nod of approval.

  Aidan wiped the sweat from his brow.

  “So, you’ll be okay?” Fox asked, glancing at Aidan’s arm.

  “I’ll be fine. Eva will make sure of it.”

  Fox planted his elbows on the table. “Okay, so what’s the plan?”

  The plan sucked.

  Aidan fell back in his chair. How did he get these people out of his life? Being a loner wasn’t so bad. Why had he always wished for a large, caring family? They were noisy, opinionated, and they were going to get themselves killed.

  All because of him.

  He wouldn’t have it.

  They’d crowded into the kitchen, the whole clan, except Chickadee who’d been sent away with a frustrated Fox, and Gran, who was tipsy from her mosquitoes’ plight party. Peter and Lana had been invited to join in the scheming.

  “We need to call Garrett,” Peter repeated.

  “No troopers,” Aidan said. Besides, he’d had more than enough of Garrett last summer.

  “You were shot at,” Peter stressed, holding Lana’s hand. “When do you think we should bring in the troopers?”

  “I’m the law here,” Lynx injected. “We’ll catch him and then we’ll turn him over to the troopers in Fairbanks.”

  Lana smothered a sob.

  “You okay?” Aidan asked, concerned that this was too much for his young cousin.

  “I know he needs to be caught.” Lana put a hand to her brow. “It’s just hard thinking of my dad being hunted down. But we can’t let him hurt anyone else.”

  “Is there any information you can give us that would help apprehend him safely?” Lynx asked, his tone a bit softer than before.

  “Uhm…I don’t know.” She bit her bottom lip. “They called him a ghost in Vietnam.”

  “We’ll have to flush him out then,” Pike said. “I’ll gather some guys and we’ll come in from the top of the hill behind Earl’s.” He pointed to a map Lynx had laid out on the table earlier.

  “He’s got to be bunked down in one of the old mining cabins.” Lynx indicated the nest of cabins abandoned in the late 1950s when the Fairbanks Gold Mining Company left the area after stripping seventy million dollars worth of gold from the surrounding hills and rivers. “We can access this point with snowmobiles, and then hike in on snowshoes. If we spilt up, and some come down the ridge, and the rest can come up the hill, we’ll trap him. There’s plenty of cover with the dense spruce. He’ll never see us coming.”

  “He’ll have booby traps in place to warn him of intruders,” Aidan cautioned. They were crazy if they thought they could flush Roland out. The more planning that went on, the worse Aidan felt. Someone was going to get hurt. He didn’t need that on his conscience too. “Roland is mean and methodical. He won’t care if he hurts someone. Any booby traps he’s laid—and don’t doubt that he’s set them—will be nasty, designed to hurt and maim.”

  “I don’t want to patch up a whole bunch of hotheads,” Eva said, with a frown, her arms folded and resting on top of her swollen belly.

  Aidan’s arm throbbed. All he wanted to do was crawl away to somewhere quiet and lick his wounds. Raven sat to his left. She hadn’t added anything to the plan. In fact, Aidan couldn’t remember the last time she’d said a word. Today had been hard on her too. Physically she wasn’t hurt, but what kind of emotional damage had been done? Hadn’t he given her enough grief?

  She must have felt him watching as she looked up, her eyes wide pools of fear. His heart clenched. Once again he was bringing pain and heartache her way.

  “That’s enough for tonight,” he interrupted. “It’s late. Roland will expect something come morning after today’s shooting. Let’s surprise him and not do anything for the next twenty-four hours.”

  “You sure that’s a good idea?” Lynx furrowed his brows. “That will give him a day to plan, or leave town.”

  “He isn’t going anywhere until he does what he came here to do.”

  Lana gasped. “You mean he isn’t leaving until you’re—”

  Aidan reached over and covered her hand with his. “I told you, nothing’s going to happen to me.”

  “You mean nothing more, right?” Raven added, looking as worried as Lana.

  “Aidan’s got the right of it,” Pike said. “We’ll reconvene tomorrow. Lynx and I’ll gather some reinforcements. We’ll meet back here at sunrise.”

  The group broke up. Lana gave Aidan a hug with a whispered, “I love you,” and then followed Peter out of the room. Raven stayed behind.

  “How’s the arm?” she asked.

  He opened and closed his fist. It throbbed, but he was thankful that was all he was dealing with at the moment. Things could have turned out much worse. “I’ll be fine.”

  “We should get you some anti-inflammatories and then to bed.”

  “About that.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Staying out at your place isn’t a good idea. In fact, I should head to Fairbanks and get a motel room.”

  “Don’t be stupid. You aren’t going anywhere.” Her eyes hardened. “I want you where I know you’re okay. And I don’t want to hear any more arguments about it.” She stood. “Now, it’s been a long day, and I’m tired. So if you don’t mind, I’ll find Fox and meet you out front.” She left him sitting in the kitchen.

  Well, he’d sure been told. A smile teased the corner of his mouth. He liked this bossy side of Raven. Wonder if she’d ever show that side of herself in the bedroom?

  That was not a thought he needed to be having at the moment. Not when he’d be sleeping under her roof.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  They entered Raven’s home to the smells of a moose roast simmering in the Crockpot. The whole cabin was warm and inviting, so different than living out at Earl’s or his own sparse, silent apartment in Seattle.

  Raven hung up her coat and entered the kitchen, opened a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of pain pills, laying them along with a glass of water on the table. “Sit down before you fall down.”

  Since his knees felt like willow branches, he had no problem doing what he was told and took a chair at the dining room table. Fox gave him a worried look, so Aidan put on a brave front. No sense in worrying the kid.

  “Fox, will you stoke the fire and then set the table?” Raven asked, pulling the makings for a salad out of the refrigerator.

  “On it, Mom.” He scampered over to the wood stove and stirred the banked coals, added wood, and lightly blew on the coals until the flames greedily ate at the dry timber. A grin spread over his face, and a dimple peeked as he set the table. The boy was enjoying having his parents sharing a meal instead of fighting.

  At the lodge, the feelings Aidan had struggled with over everyone wanting a say over how they were going to protect him, hadn’t eaten at his heart the way this little family dinner was beginning to. This was his family. His son. And his woman. The simple affair caused emotions to tighten his throat.

  What would it be like to sit down at the end of every day with Raven and Fox? The sweetness of the dream was just within his reach, almost tangible. If he shut his eyes, it felt as though he could hold it in his grasp.


  Whatever it took, whatever he had to do, he would keep them safe.

  They ate dinner. Fox carrying on most of the conversation, leaving him free to steal glances across the table at Raven, who was more focused on stirring the food on her plate than eating any of it. The longer dinner went the more pleased Fox seemed to become. The talk was mostly about school, friends, a girl named Janette.

  After dinner was cleaned up and put away, Fox suggested a movie. Raven agreed, as soon as his homework and chores were finished. He grumbled, but went upstairs to do as she’d said.

  “He’s a great kid.” Aidan approached Raven in the kitchen where she was trying to rub off the surface of the counter. She’d already washed everything down once. She stopped her frantic cleaning and looked up at him, her eyes wide and dark.

  “You’ve done a wonderful job raising him, Raven.” He set aside the scrubber and took her hands in his. “Thank you.”

  “Uh…you’re welcome,” she softly returned.

  He smoothed the hair away from her face, tracing the fine bones of her cheeks, before cupping her cheek and lightly placing a kiss on her full trembling lips.

  “Oops,” Fox said, sliding to a flailing stop on socks that wanted to skate over the kitchen tile. A blush bloomed on his face along with a smile that spilt from ear to ear. He looked down and rushed through the kitchen. “Don’t mind me. Carry on with…whatever. I’m gonna feed the dogs.”

  “Let me help,” Aidan offered.

  “No!” Fox’s blush deepened. “I mean, you need to be careful with your arm.” He put his hands out in the form of stop signs. “Stay here. With Mom.” He was out of the room in a flash.

  “Well…” Aidan smiled. “I think we just made his night.”

  “Uh…yeah. I’d better go talk to him.” She made to leave and he pulled her back against him.

  “Let him go. Stay here…with me,” he repeated Fox’s words.

  “This isn’t right. There is still so much that we need to figure out. I don’t want to get his hopes up.”

  “What about mine?” He held his breath.

  “I’m sorry.” She disentangled herself from him and went after Fox.

  Raven let herself outside into the bitterly cold night. Fox’s dogs were yipping excitedly over their dinner. Fox made sure he gave each one needed attention before moving to the next one. He sure was a great kid. What had she been thinking to insist Aidan stay with them? She should have thought about the message she was sending Fox. Or what her actions were telling Aidan. For that matter, what were they telling her?

  What did she really want?

  Dinner had given her a glimpse of what she could have. What she could give Fox.

  What would it be like to share her life with both of them? But could she find it in her heart to share Fox? He’d been hers for so long. Her little man. Looking at him now though, he wasn’t her little man anymore. He was growing up fast. And not just physically.

  “Hey, Fox.” She joined him and the dogs. He looked up, the joy on his face dimming.

  “We’re not having a ‘talk,’ are we?” He frowned.

  Yep, the boy was growing up way too fast.

  “’Fraid so.”

  “Dang it, Mom, have you ever heard the saying, ‘go with the flow?’”

  She snorted. “Yeah.”

  “Well, then you ought to apply it with Dad.” He absently rubbed the fur behind Senyea’s ears. “I know you want to tell me that kiss I interrupted didn’t mean anything, but we both know it did. I’ll promise to not see too much in it, if you don’t overanalyze everything. ‘Kay?”

  “Whatever happened to having adult/child conversations with you?”

  “One of us has to act the adult when the other doesn’t.”

  “Hey.”

  Fox looked at the snow-covered ground for a moment. “Sorry. It’s just…” He straightened his hat. “I’m frustrated, I guess. I know you love him. I just don’t understand why you won’t admit it.”

  The kid was too observant. “It’s complicated.”

  “So’s math, but I’m making an effort.”

  She laughed. How did she argue with him? Did she even want to? “Come on. Let’s go watch that movie you wanted to.”

  “So, I’m not going to get the ‘talk’?” He narrowed his eyes.

  “Nope.”

  “Why not?”

  “What? Disappointed? You want to have it now?”

  “No. But why did you change your mind?”

  “Maybe I want to try that ‘go with the flow’ thing you were talking about.”

  He studied her for a moment. “You’re as confused as I am, aren’t you?”

  “More so, I’m afraid.”

  Aidan paced in front of the view in Raven’s living room. It was late. Fox and Raven had been in bed for hours. He’d given up tossing on the pull-out sofa and donned his jeans, leaving his shirt draped over the back of the couch.

  More was keeping him awake than the thought of Raven a few feet down the hall. There needed to be a new plan, one that didn’t include members of the Maiski clan. This was Harte business, and a Harte would be the one who’d finish it.

  One way or another.

  “You’re going to wear a path in my wood floors.” Raven’s low voice drifted over the darkened living room.

  He stopped and turned, his heart thudding hard in his chest at the outline of her in the dim room. The snow glowed out the window, reflecting the moonlight and the Northern Lights dancing across the midnight sky, but they weren’t strong enough to strip the shadows that hovered between them. “Did I wake you?”

  “No.” She glided farther into the room, just on the fringes of the magical moonlight. He made out her soft shape wrapped in a robe, her bare feet. “I couldn’t sleep. I’m afraid of what you’re planning.”

  “What makes you think I’m planning something?”

  “You’re a man, aren’t you? Actions first, consequences later.”

  He wondered what her consequences would be if he closed the space between them? “I don’t want anyone hurt because of me.”

  “So you’ll go alone?”

  He nodded. She’d find out eventually.

  “You are many things, Aidan, but I never figured you for stupid.”

  The stupid comment stung, but didn’t deter him. “If I can get Roland alone, I might be able to reason with him.”

  “Since when are any of the Hartes reasonable?”

  That stung deeper than the stupid remark. “You think I’m being unreasonable?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’d rather more of your family get hurt or killed because of mine?”

  The silver moonlight reflected off her pale face, pain shown like slivers of ice in her eyes. Instead of retreating, she took another step forward. “I don’t want you hurt or killed either.”

  “Don’t do this,” he growled, fisting his hands in order to keep from reaching for her. “Don’t come in here looking all soft and welcoming unless you want me to take you up on the invitation.”

  “How’s the arm?” she asked changing the subject.

  “Feeling less pain than my heart,” he ground out.

  She swallowed. “Do you want me to leave?”

  “What do you want, Raven?”

  “I’m not sure.” She bit her lip. “Can we just…go with the flow?”

  He gave a short, disbelieving laugh. “Go with the flow?”

  “Uhm…yeah.”

  “Last time we did that, you ended up pregnant.”

  “Well, we could go with the flow…protectively.” Her blush bloomed like sweet, pink rosehips in the faint moonlight. He couldn’t help finding her irresistible.

  “Are you asking me to share your bed, Raven Maiski?”

  The roses in her cheeks deepened. “I’d rather you quit with the questions and sweep me up in your arms.”

  “Not this time. I don’t want you to have any regrets.”

  “I’ve never regretted making love w
ith you.”

  “Don’t.” He swallowed. “I won’t survive if you tell me to leave again.”

  “I don’t think I’d survive it either,” she whispered.

  One long step and he hauled her into his arms, ignoring the pain the action caused his wound as he stretched his stitches. He pressed his face into her neck, breathing in her scent like a drowning man. The exotic mix of berries, ferns, and Mother Earth on her freshly washed skin brought a burning ache to his center. Tangling his hand in her hair, he pulled her head back, holding her still as he took in her beautiful face, the sharp cheekbones of her ancestry, the dark almond eyes lowered seductively, and the slightly parted full lips. Her pulse fluttering in her throat was the only movement she made as she waited wrapped in the tight circle of his arms.

  Slowly, ever so slowly, he leaned down and gently brushed her lips with his. A rough, impatient sound escaped her, stealing his breath. Was she as desperate for him as he was for her? He deepened the kiss, pushing through the seal of her lips to stroke the inside of her mouth. Tightening his arms around her, he pressed her body flush against the hard, throbbing length of his.

  A raw sound of pleasure mixed with pain broke from him. “God, Raven, how have I lived without you in my arms?”

  Her chest rose and fell, and her pulse beat like hummingbird’s wings. “There’s been no one in my arms since you left.”

  Her declaration stunned him. “No one?” She’d been with no other man except him?

  “Only you. There’s only been you.” She bit her lips as though she was scared of revealing so much.

  “Raven.” He cupped her face in his hands and laid his forehead against hers, swallowing the lump of emotion threatening to strangle him. “I’ve never stopped loving you,” he whispered. “Lord knows I tried.” He pressed his lips against hers, overwhelmed with the feelings coursing through his system.

  She broke the kiss and reached for his hands that still held her face. Then she led him down the hall and into her bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind them. The room also had a wall of windows that looked out to the frozen river, illuminating the bed in magical moonlight.

  Could he be dreaming? She stood before the large queen size, roughly carved, log bed, looking magical herself with her long black hair shimmering with shots of silver and midnight. She slowly opened her robe, letting it fall to her shoulders, and then dropping to puddle at her feet. She wore a silky, flimsy piece of cloth that his trembling hands would tear off her if he wasn’t careful.