Marked

by T. L. McDonald

  I smile. “Help me roll him over.”

  ***

  “Where is he?” Zoe breezes past me coming to a stop in the foyer.

  “He’s upstairs.” Her long black skirt blows in the wind as she races up the stairs taking them two at a time leaving me standing with the front door wide open. “I’ll just meet you up there then,” I say out loud to no one but myself. I shut the door, lock it, and then head up after her.

  When I get back to my room Zoe’s already sitting on the edge of the bed applying some kind of green goo to Will’s stab wound. Blue, black, and purple bracelets litter her wrists jingling with the movements of her hands and around her throat is a long silver chain that dips down into the neckline of her black tank top.

  The desk chair creaks beside me diverting my attention. Straddling it, Jared sits with his arms hanging over the back and his shirt up over his nose. I look at him funny until I get a whiff of something horrible. I cover my nose with my arm. “What is that?”

  “I know it smells pretty bad, but it’ll help him heal.” Zoe puts the cap back on the goo then sits it on the nightstand. Will’s faux hawk has long fallen and she brushes his hair from his forehead. Sadness, relief, and anger cross over her face. “He’ll probably be out for awhile.” Composing herself she looks at me. “What happened?”

  I would have told her over the phone if she’d given me the chance, but the moment I said Will was hurt and that we were at my house she’d hung up on me. Fifteen minutes later she was at my front door. I never even got to tell her where I lived. And now that I’m thinking about it, I wonder how she knew.

  “How did you know where I lived?”

  “Huh? Oh, Will told me.”

  I guess that makes sense. Will stirs, so I quiet my voice. “We should go downstairs so he can rest and I’ll explain everything,” I suggest.

  Once we’re all situated downstairs I do my best to recount the events, starting with us being ambushed and ending with Will getting hurt.

  “I can’t believe you took out a Fallen. You’re lucky the both of you weren’t killed out there.” Suddenly she hugs me; awkwardly I hug her back. “Thank you for saving my brother.” Releasing me she looks at me with amazement. “Will told me about how you’re telekinetic, but he never said how strong you were. I’ve never heard of anyone being able to do what you did. Not even Sam was that strong.”

  That catches my attention. “Sam was telekinetic?”

  “Yeah. I just assumed that’s why you were too. By the way, sorry for getting you in trouble with Kat back at Frank’s. Guess that explains the windows.”

  “That was you?” It’s the first thing Jared’s said since we came downstairs.

  “You heard about that?”

  “The whole towns heard about it. What on earth were you and Kat fighting about to make you shatter the windows? What if you’d hurt her or someone else for that matter?”

  My stomach twists in knots as I remember the way her face looked just after. “I didn’t mean to do it. It’s just…we got into this huge fight and all these feelings of hurt and anger where swirling around inside of me and the next thing I knew all the mirrors in the bathroom were exploding and I just wanted to get out of there, so I ran, but…”

  “Wait,” Jared says cutting me off. “You broke mirrors too?”

  “Yes, but Kat wasn’t there when that happened,” I say as if it can somehow make it better. As if it can somehow make him stop looking at me like he is, like I’m a monster.

  “Wow, look at the time?” Zoe looks at her wrist even though I’m pretty sure she’s not wearing a watch. “I think I’m going to run upstairs to check on Will while you two sort this out.” Silence stretches between Jared and I, while Zoe leaves the room.

  Once we’re alone, Jared picks back up where he left off. “So you knew you were capable of shattering glass like that when you blew out the window’s to Frank’s because you had just done it with the mirrors in the bathroom, yet—”

  “Yes, but…”

  “Yet you did it again anyway,” Jared interrupts. “With Kat right there. Why would you do that? Were you purposely trying to hurt or scare her? Because I heard she was completely terrified.”

  “No, of course not. Kat and I might have had a fight, but I would never do anything to hurt her. You know that right?”

  He hesitates.

  My insides shatter into a billion different pieces in his silence.

  “You don’t believe me,” I say in a small voice.

  His eyes look over me, assessing. “I believe you.” He pauses, takes a breath. “I know you wouldn’t hurt her intentionally, but what about unintentionally? You’re different now Hanna. You have all these new abilities with no idea of how to control them. So while you may not want to hurt anyone, the possibility that you might anyway is still there.”

  I want to argue that he’s wrong, that I can control myself, or that I can at least learn how to control myself, but in the end he’s right. I have no idea who I am anymore or what I’m capable of now that I’ve been marked. I could hurt everybody I care about without ever meaning too. In fact, I already have. I hurt Jared by severely bruising his chest when I pushed him away after one of my nightmare Blondie visits. I hurt Will when I tossed him across my yard with just a thought. And I could have hurt Kat today.

  What if I hurt Adam tomorrow?

  I don’t want to hurt Adam. I don’t want to hurt anyone.

  “Jared.” I reach for him. He backs away.

  He’s afraid of me.

  All the air disappears from my lungs leaving me to suffocate in its absence as my hand drops to my side. If Blondie were to burst through my front door right this moment, rip open my insides with his black knife all while tearing through my mind to get Sam’s memories, it still wouldn’t hurt as much as Jared’s reaction to me just now.

  But maybe he’s right to be afraid of me. Maybe everyone should be afraid of me.

  “You’re right. I hurt you and I hurt Will, but I don’t have to hurt anybody else. From now on maybe it would just be best if you and everyone else just stayed away from me, that way I can’t unintentionally hurt any of you.”

  He flinches; hurt flashing through his eyes. “Hanna, I didn’t mean—”

  “Don’t.” I shake my head side to side as I walk backwards toward the foyer. “I’m sorry I hurt you the other day and I’m sorry you’re afraid of me now. I’m sorry I hurt Will and I’m sorry I nearly got him killed. And I’m sorry I almost hurt Kat.” I look him hard in the eye. “I didn’t ask to be marked. I didn’t ask for supernatural abilities. I didn’t ask to be thrown head first into a war with the Fallen. I didn’t ask for any of it.” I grab a set of keys out of the bowl on the foyer table. “And I won’t ask you or anyone else to suffer because of it. You’re safer if you’re not around me. You all are.”

  Jared starts to argue.

  I don’t want to hear anymore. I can’t. Tuning him out, I slip out the front door cutting off his words as I pull the door shut behind me. I head for my car only to realize that the keys I grabbed are not my own. There’s no way I’m going back in there so I guess Jared’s jeep will have to do.

  The front door to my house opens just as I fasten my seat belt. Jared yells something I can’t hear over the roar of the engine. I don’t want to listen anyway. All I want to do is get as far away from here as possible. Someplace far, far away where I can’t hurt anyone.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Okay, so Lake Haven Cemetery isn’t someplace far, far away, but I’m angry and I’m hurt and there are two people here who I know I can talk to without judgment. Two people who have always listened to me no matter what my problems were. Two people who always knew the right things to say to make me feel better. Two people I miss most in the world, Mom and Dad.

  On some level I know it’s stupid to be climbing over a locked gate into a dark cemetery with Blondie out there somewhere waiting to rip Sam’s memories from me by force, but right now, I really don�
��t care. Right now, all I want is the company of my parents and if that means I have to sneak into a cemetery after hours to be close to them then that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Screw the risks. Screw Blondie. And screw Sam for giving me this life-wrecking symbol in the first place.

  My feet hit the ground on the other side of the gate with a soft thud. From there I let them carry me to where I need to go. After the accident I used to come here every day, rain or shine, to tell them what was happening in my life. Maybe it’s silly of me to think so, but I always felt like they were listening. I need them to listen now.

  At the far end of the cemetery under a large tree that blossoms with flowers every spring, rest my parents. A light breeze blows through the treetop sending a few loose petals cascading down, adding to the petals already blanketing the ground. “Hi Mom. Hi Dad,” I say greeting them as I sit down in front of their headstones. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here in a while, but I’ve thought about you everyday. So much has happened since the last time we talked, well, I talked, you listened, and I have a lot to tell you. For starters my life has recently taken a turn for the weird and scary. You’ll probably think I’m crazy by the time I’m done, but try to keep an open mind because it’s all true.”

  I start from the beginning telling them about how I watched a boy—Sam—die in an alley outside of The Iron Knife and how before he died he marked me with a symbol that irrevocably changed my life. I tell them about Blondie who’s a Fallen and how he wants what’s in Sam’s memories (which happen to be in my head thanks to said symbol), and about how his eyes change from blue to black. I tell them about the new abilities I’ve developed and how I don’t know how to control them. I tell them about Will, The Order, and how Will thinks that Sam marked me because he wants me to find his long lost brother who’s prophesized to either save or destroy the world. I tell them about my fight with Kat and lastly…I tell them all about Jared, my feelings for him, my reasons for trying to deny them, and about how much it hurts to know that he’s afraid of me now.

  After I’m done, I feel lighter like a weight has been lifted off my chest. “Now you guys know everything there is to know. I just wish you could offer me some advice on what to do because right now I’m at a loss.” I run my fingers over their names, the stone cool and smooth against my skin. “I miss you guys so much,” I say as I curl myself up against my mom’s headstone.

  “They miss you too.” Jared’s shadowed form lifts from a seated position on the other side of a headstone a row ahead of where I am. He comes forward standing before me. “I thought maybe I’d find you here.”

  Heat rushes to my face, my whole body breaking out in a nervous sweat. I had said a lot to my parents about my feelings for him—in detail. “How much did you hear?”

  “Everything.” Though it’s too dark to see his face clearly from where I’m seated, I’m pretty sure he’s grinning, which makes my whole body blush from head to toe. “I saw you jump the gate. By the time I caught up you were already talking to them. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

  I clear my throat hoping it’ll keep my voice from cracking. “How did you get here? I have your Jeep.”

  He sits down beside me dangling a set of keys from his finger. “You took mine, so I took yours.”

  I try to imagine him cramming himself into the tiny space of my car with his long legs and broad shoulders. It’s difficult enough for him to ride shotgun let alone squish himself behind the steering wheel on the driver’s side. “How did you fit?”

  “With great difficulty,” he says with a smile.

  For a moment we laugh and I start to forget why I’m here. Why I ran away in the first place. Why he would be better—no—safer—without me. Why everyone would. But lately he’s like gravity; whenever he’s near, I can’t help but be pulled to him.

  “You’re glowing?”

  “What?” I glance over at him not sure if I heard him right. His eyes are lowered, focused.

  “Your wrist.” He looks up at me. “It’s glowing.”

  I shove it behind my back, afraid that he’s going to freak out and leave me. I know he should. I told him he should back at the house, but now that he’s here and sitting so close, I don’t want him to.

  “Hanna.” He pulls my arm out from behind my back. Flipping my wrist over he touches the symbol with the tip of his finger. For just a second it glows a little brighter. “I’m so sorry for acting like an ass earlier. I got a little freaked out after hearing about what you did in the woods when you and Will were attacked by the Fallen, so when Zoe said it was you who shattered the windows at Frank’s, I had a momentary lapse of rational thinking. I know you would never do anything to hurt Kat intentionally or unintentionally. You’re the kindest, sweetest, most honest person I know and I’m so sorry I made you doubt that.” He laces his fingers through mine, holding my hand tight. “I’m sorry I made you think I was afraid of you, Hanna because I promise, I’m not, so please don’t push me away.”

  “You’re really not afraid of me?” The whole world stands still as I await his answer.

  “I’m really not afraid of you.” He studies my face in the dim light of the moon.

  Can he see my doubts? My hopes? My wants? Because I so want for what he’s saying to be true.

  “Not even after knowing what I’m capable of doing? Leaving bruised handprints on your chest from impossible strength, ripping trees from the ground, or shattering glass through telekinesis. Not to mention whatever else this little symbol might have in store. Even after knowing all that, you’re really not afraid? Not even a little bit?” I hold his gaze, my whole being desperate with hope that he means what he’s saying while also still being completely terrified that he really doesn’t.

  “Even after all that.” He sighs, half smiles. “Okay, maybe for a half a second I might have been when I wasn’t thinking straight, but I see things clearly now and I promise I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid because I know you’ll get a handle on whatever abilities you develop and when you do, Blondie won’t stand a chance against you.”

  I bite my bottom lip as I study his face in the dark and he studies our clasped hands. “Did you really hear everything I said to my parents?”

  A sly smile plays at his mouth; he looks over at me from the corner of his eye. “Every last word. I especially paid attention to the parts about me.” I struggle to swallow, my whole body heating up like it’s on fire. “Just so you know, I didn’t kiss Amber. She kissed me and I pushed her away.”

  I pull my hand from his. “Really, because that’s not how Kat made it sound?”

  “I’ll admit that maybe I was flirting with her a little bit, but only because I was mad at you.” With a touch of his finger he turns my face, his lips so close to mine I can feel his breath. Butterflies swarm my stomach. “I swear Hanna, the only person I want to kiss is you.” I wait in anticipation, the beats of my heart so fast and loud it’s all I can hear. “But I won’t.” His eyes linger on my mouth as he pulls away leaving me wanting. And then he smiles teasingly. “Unless you want me to.”

  After hearing what I said to my parents he knows full well that I want him to. “I—” Before I can say anything more his lips are on mine, eager and urgent. Whatever fears I have about us being together, dissolve with each kiss, because nothing feels more right than being here, right now, with him.

  “You’re not going to try and push me away again are you?” Jared asks, softly.

  “No.”

  He rests his forehead against mine. “Good, because I’m not going to let you go this time.” His lips find their way back to mine kissing me softly, and then suddenly, his hands are at my waist and he’s lifting me onto his lap so I’m straddling him. Smiling at my surprise, he kisses my neck leaving me breathless. Every nerve in my body, raw and alive, responds to his touch, my heart racing as his lips continue moving upward from my neck to my jaw. Reaching up he cups my face between his hands. He looks at me as though he’s about to say something, but then he
smiles without saying a word as he pulls my mouth back down to his where with each kiss I fall further and further into blissful oblivion, until I’m completely lost in him.

  ***

  Adam opens the front door to the house the moment Jared and I pull into the driveway. He meets me at my car. “So I come home, you’re not here, there’s a hot chick standing in my kitchen and a half naked dude passed out in your room, which smells disgusting by the way. Want to clue me in?”

  “Um.” I look past Adam to Zoe standing in the doorway wondering if she’s already told him something. She shrugs her shoulders giving me a half smile. Guess she’s not going to be any help. “They’re just some friends from school. Will, um.” My eyes land on his motorcycle. “Will wrecked his bike and got hurt. Nothing major, just some bruising. I told him he could rest in my room for a while and the ‘hot chick’ as you call her is Will’s sister Zoe. She brought over some muscle rub and that’s what smells so bad.”

  Two lies down. How many more to go?

  I hate lying and I suck at it, but I can’t tell Adam the truth. He’s much safer not knowing. Besides, he’s the only family I have left and I’m not going to do anything that will put him in danger. So if lying keeps him safe, then I will lie.

  “Okay, but why weren’t you here?” Adam asks and I’m on to lie number three.

  I rack my brain trying to come up with some excuse when Jared saves me.

  “That’s my fault. I locked myself out of my Jeep. I had Hanna bring me the spare.” Jared winks at me when Adam’s not looking.

  “Oh. Well, next time Hanna, can you at least send me a text or something to let me know if I’m coming home to a house full of strangers. After the break in earlier this week I almost called the cops until Zoe swore she knew you and I saw you two,” he waves his hand between Jared and I, “pull in.” I have the urge to laugh at the fact that it actually was Will who broke in earlier this week, but I don’t. Instead I agree to let him know if I’m going to have friends over as I follow him into the house.