Death by Misadventure: 210 Dumb Ways to Die

by Dale Dreher

  Reuters, November 23, 1994

  105. Games Girls Play.

  April Hough, 20, died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. Hough was playing Russian Roulette with a .38-calibre revolver at a girlfriend’s house. Hough lost.

  Charlotte Observer, February 11, 1992

  106. How to Impress Your Boss.

  Chan Mo Kwan, 19, died at a barbecue at his boss' Hong Kong home after making good on his boast that he could drink an entire bottle of brandy in one attempt. Chan passed out instantly and never regained consciousness.

  Agence France Presse, November 13, 1996

  107. Paddle Prank.

  Eighteen-year-old, Aaron Goebel, died during a romantic canoe outing on Lake Eden in Alberta. Goebel and a friend were double dating when the two young men decided it would be funny to strand their girlfriends in the canoe by jumping out and taking the paddles. The women paddled to shore by-hand; Aaron’s friend swam to safety. And Goebel drowned when his feet got stuck in the lake’s muddy bottom.

  Toronto Star, July 8, 1997

  108. Deadly Bridge Game.

  Gunnar Pilqvist Stephan, a 30 year old Swedish sailor, died trying to race a drawbridge in Saint Malo, France. Gunnar was trying to catch up with friends who had made it across the bridge before it started to rise. Instead of turning back he grabbed onto the edge and was lifted 130 feet in the air. Gunnar lost his grip and was killed immediately upon impact with the concrete below.

  Agence France Presse, July 16, 1992

  109. Concrete Waves.

  Georgia teenager, Robert Johnson, 16, was killed surfing. Robert caught a 55-mph wave on the roof of his friend's car. Johnson managed to stand for three quarters of a mile before falling onto the highway and sustaining fatal head injuries.

  Atlanta Constitution, June 20, 1991

  110. Seatbelt Fatality.

  An Indiana coroner reported one case of a 13 year old boy who died because he was wearing a seatbelt. The seatbelt was lashed around his ankles and tied to the hood of his friend's car at the time. The young man was "car surfing" on a dirt road at about 40 mph when the driver lost control of the vehicle and rolled the car into the ditch. The surfer was still tied to the car when the rescuers arrived. They were unable to revive him. The coroner noted that car surfing was featured in the 1985 movie, Teen Wolf, starring Michael J. Fox.

  Journal of Forensic Sciences (1992) Volume 37-6

  111. Dead Pool.

  Indiana teenager, Andre Hurt, 17, drowned in a hotel swimming pool while attending a family reunion in St. Louis. Hurt, a non swimmer, was standing in the shallow end of the pool when he announced to friends that he was going underwater to see how long he could hold his breath. A few moments later the friends saw Hurt's body on the bottom of the deep end. Hurt could not be resuscitated.

  St. Louis Post Dispatch, August 4, 1997

  112. Reverse Dirty Harry.

  At a card game with friends, Xavier Ricks, 19, pulled out a revolver and loaded it with a single bullet then pointed it at his three friends while pulling the trigger. Mistakenly thinking that he was on an empty cylinder, Ricks pulled the trigger for the fourth time with the barrel of the gun in his mouth. The Homicide Bureau Chief commented, "We have been dealing with this kind of incident for years. I've been carrying a gun for 30 years, and it's an awesome responsibility."

  Buffalo News, April 24, 1994

  113. Mercy Chicken.

  Friends still dispute exactly how Graham Glickfeld, 31, of Fremont, California, ended up being run over by a close friend. Some say that Glickfeld, a life long sufferer of Tourettes's syndrome finally got someone to take him up on one of his frequent offers of money to end his tortured lonely existence. Others say Glickfeld and his friend were simply playing "chicken."

  Chicago Tribune, December 31, 1989

  114. Out with a Bang!

  Tim Choate, 15, and his best friend, Michael Untersee, 13, killed themselves spectacularly while playing with fireworks. The boys lit the toy explosives while playing on top of a 20,000-gallon oil tank, near Oklahoma City. The boys' bodies were found over 200 feet away while the explosion itself could be seen for several miles.

  Associated Press, June 22, 1997

  115. Wired.

  Massachusetts fisherman, Barry Hines, 18, was electrocuted by overhead electrical wires. Hines and a friend were walking home after midnight one Friday night when Hines suddenly began climbing a utility pole. The pole had climbing rungs for workers, which began 6 feet above ground. Hines was killed when he touched one of the 4000 volt electrical wires supported by the pole. Power to area residents had to be shut off while rescue workers disentangled Hines' body from the cable TV and telephone wires that hung below the electrical lines.

  Boston Globe, April 15, 1984

  116. Banzai!

  Napa California high school students were trying to set a "clogging" record on a tubular slide at a local water park. One teenager was killed and 32 were injured when 50 to 60 kids rushed onto the 30 foot tall slide. One of the slide's seams broke causing many of the students to tumble to the ground.

  Contra Costa Times, June 5, 1997

  117. Lethal Stealth.

  Elizabeth Gould, 16, died sneaking out of her Virginia home at 11:30pm. Gould was pushing one of the family cars backwards down the driveway so the car's engine would not alert her parents. Gould lost control of the car and crashed into a fence. Gould's parents woke from the noise to find their daughter's body crushed between the open driver's door and a fence post.

  Richmond Times Dispatch, October 21, 1995

  Stupidity On The Job

  118. Death of the Party.

  Garry Hoy, a 39 year old Toronto lawyer, crashed through his office window and plunged 24 floors to his death. Hoy was demonstrating the tensile strength of the skyscraper's windows during an office party. As he had done on several other occasions, Garry ran shoulder first at the sealed window from across the room. Garry specialized in securities.

  Ottawa Citizen, July 12, 1993

  119. Use Your Head.

  A trucker's helper known as, Ofori, died in Hohoe, Ghana, when he attempted to carry a 340 pound basket of fish on his head. Ofori managed the weight for a few seconds but collapsed before reaching his truck.

  Agence France Presse, February 9, 1995

  120. World's Worst Watchman.

  A 28 year old construction worker, known as Junior, drowned in the lake he was protecting from trespassing swimmers. Junior's boss let him stay on the property in return for chasing off local kids who liked to party and swim at the remote spot. Junior's co workers came looking for him when he didn’t show up for work one day. They found Junior's body, clad only in underwear, floating in the lake. Since the property's trailer did not have a shower, friends believe Junior drowned while washing up for dinner the night before.

  Miami Herald, August 21, 1987

  121. Rocket Scientist.

  Before every flight of a U 2 spy plane from NASA's Ames Research Centre in Mountain View, California, a technician must check the pilots' equipment. Oxygen helmets are tested for leaks using nitrogen instead of oxygen used because oxygen is highly flammable. For some reason, Ronald Johnson ignored safety procedures and wore one of the helmets during the test. The 29-year-old Air Force Veteran was quickly suffocated.

  Associated Press, February 27, 1986

  122. Real Dumb Waiter.

  Jerry Smith, 47, has the dubious distinction of being the first human fatality associated with the Exxon Valdez oil spill. Smith, a kitchen worker aboard one of the clean up vessels, decided to accompany some produce in the ship’s dumbwaiter. Unfortunately for Smith, there was not enough room at the top of the dumbwaiter shaft and he was crushed to death.

  San Jose Mercury News, May 25, 1989

  123. Dough Head.

  A 19 year old unidentified worker was killed when he fell headfirst into an industrial dough mixer at a pasta factory in the Bronx, New York. The worker lost his footing while loading the
machine. The victim's distraught supervisor claimed, "This has never happened in the 40 years I've been in the business."

  Reuters, October 27, 1994

  124. Elevator Grudge.

  A 90 year old self employed elevator mechanic in Pittsburgh was crushed to death by an elevator he installed 50 years earlier. William Beatty and the other workers at the site had thought that they had turned the electricity off before Beatty started work inside the elevator car. The bystanders were unable to pull Beatty to safety when the elevator suddenly lurched upward, crushing the veteran mechanic's legs between the floor of the car and the top of the elevator door frame.

  Associated Press, March 5, 1988

  125. Didn't See, Fargo.

  An unnamed Florida landscaper was pulled into a wood chipper after trying to clear a jam with his hands. The man's co workers only noticed something wrong when they heard the wood chipper stop. His remains were found among the chopped palm fronds.

  Tallahassee Democrat, May 31, 1997

  126. Blundy's Blunder.

  David Blundy, 44, an English reporter was covering the guerilla warfare in El Salvador. When he arrived to cover a particular skirmish he was shot and killed by government troops. Blundy unfortunately was wearing a dark blue shirt very similar to those worn by the rebel troops. In describing Blundy's cause of death as "misadventure," the coroner commented, "This is the most clear example of someone in the course of duty entering a course of conduct which is dangerous."

  UK Press Gazzette, July 9, 1990

  127. Modern Problems?

  Vivian Philcox, a London cabaret dancer during the early 1930's, overdosed on "slimming" pills. She was apparently unhappy with the progress she was making so she increased the dosage against her doctor's advice. Vivian took at least 17 of the pills during the last two days of her life. The coroner commented, "Modern feminine fashions demand a slim figure and many women will do almost anything to attain that object and so gratify their vanity."

  Times of London, March 19, 1934; reprinted March 19, 1992

  128. Squeeze Play.

  Pamela Orsi, 27, was killed trying to break up a fight between Alice and Cha Cha. Her peacekeeping instincts lead to tragedy in this case because the combatants were female Asian elephants. The young zookeeper became caught between the two enormous pachyderms and died from fatal head injuries. Orsi's death was the first animal related death in the history of the San Diego Wild Animal Park.

  Los Angeles Times, March 15, 1991

  129. Roulette Payoff.

  The widow of security guard, Bruce Money, sued for worker's compensation benefits after her 34 year old husband shot and killed himself playing Russian roulette at work in August 1989. The widow argued that Money's death happened at work and that his employer knew that Money liked to play Russian roulette. A Pennsylvania appeal court overruled a lower court's decision to award benefits, and stated that Russian roulette is not "a normal incident of employment."

  Philadelphia Daily News, Thursday, April 10, 1997

  130. Counting Accident.

  Junior Zookeeper, Robin Silverman, 24, was mauled to death in 1985 by two young Siberian tigers at the Bronx Zoo. Silverman's parents sued the architects and builders of the lion enclosure. The companies were cleared of blame by a jury, which heard that it was standard procedure to make sure all the lions are in their shelter before entering the enclosure. One of the defending lawyer's explained, "She didn't do it that day. She went into the exhibit without counting the tigers. Our defense was that the system is simple and foolproof."

  Newsday, April 8, 1995

  131. Judas Priest!

  British actor, Antony Wheeler, 26, hung himself accidentally on stage in front of an audience of 600 at a hotel in Northern Greece. Wheeler was playing the part of Judas in the musical, Jesus Christ Superstar. The part required him to fake his own hanging at the end of one act and free himself when the stage went dark. The audience and actors were horrified to find Wheeler's body hanging from the scaffolding as the next act opened.

  Reuters, August 18, 1997

  132. Gilligan.

  An unnamed mate of a fishing boat went missing during a marlin fishing tournament near Morehead City, North Carolina. He was assisting in releasing a 400 pound specimen when the fish made a run for it. The mate's leg somehow got entangled in the fishing line and he was yanked into the ocean. The body of the married expectant father had not been recovered at the time of original publication.

  Richmond Times Dispatch, July 3, 1994

  133. Cowskinning Blues.

  George Streat, 60, an employee at Stockton slaughterhouse, was apparently killed by simply working too close to the hide-stripping machine. Streat was decapitated by the cutting action of the powerful machine's chains. Traumatized co workers were sent home early.

  Sacramento Bee, June 24, 1993

  134. From Dust to Sawdust.

  John Farren, 35, was killed trying to make ends meet while on strike from his job with the local telephone company. A friend gave him work sweeping up sawdust at a lumber company in Manchester, New Hampshire. On his first day at the job, Farren somehow wedged himself headfirst in a sawdust chute. Farren choked to death by the time rescuers dismantled the chute to free him.

  Boston Globe, October 13, 1989

  135. Down the Drain.

  Oren Levy, a 22 year old Israeli sewer cleaner, refused to wear a gas mask even after three members of his family choked to death on noxious sewer fumes. Within one year of the accident that claimed the lives of Levy's father and two brothers, Levy succumbed to toxic fumes in the same sewer. "He wanted the work of this father to go on," his mother mourned, "that all of the empire which he built up for 30 years wouldn't collapse."

  Reuters, August 14, 1997

  136. The Pause that Kills.

  Denwood Shell, a sergeant in the National Guard died while attending a training exercise in Turkey. During exercises troops must adhere to "noise and light discipline" during the night. A spokesperson explained that no light or noise is allowed, "If you have to get up in the middle of the night, you do it with as much stealth as a human can muster." Shell apparently tripped in the darkness and impaled himself on a tent peg, tearing his intestines. Despite surgery, Shell died within a few days of the accident.

  Washington Post, October 11, 1989

  Planes, Trains & Automobiles

  137. Didn't See It Coming.

  Hector Perez of the Bronx was killed by the 5:15 subway train. The 44 year old commuter died trying to retrieve his eyeglasses after they had fallen onto the tracks.

  New York Times, March 31, 1996

  138. Wile Erick Coyote.

  The body of Erick Banks, 20, was discovered on top of a railcar in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. Police said that Banks was hitching a ride when the train must have "encountered some obstruction" that caused Banks' fatal injuries. Beep! Beep!

  Halifax Chronicle Herald, July 26, 1994

  139. Chicken à la King.

  Early one Sunday morning, four Edmonton area residents raced to their deaths in a pickup truck. The group was playing chicken with a train, trying to beat the locomotive to the next level crossing. Tracy Littlechild, 28, owned the pickup truck, but the police could not be sure who was actually driving. By the time the mile long train came to a full stop one half mile after impact, the pickup was completely destroyed.

  Western Report, April 13, 1992

  140. Corolla Crushes Californian.

  A 63 year old woman was crushed to death by her own car in her own driveway. Apparently, Barbara Levens of Thousand Oaks, California, did not properly set her parking brake before she walked to her mailbox at the end of the driveway. The Deputy Sheriff who discovered the body said, "It looked like she was trying to get out of the way or to stop the car from rolling, and she couldn't."

  Los Angeles Times, August 2, 1996

  141. Human Speed Bump.

  Retired hardware salesman, William Kay, 73, ran himself over with his car, 10 times. Kay
had stopped his car at a newspaper box in his retirement village. Kay left the car running and failed to shift the transmission firmly into "park". After Kay got out, the car slipped into reverse and ran him over. Because the wheels were turned tightly left, the car continued reversing in a tight circle, running over Kay 9 or 10 more times. One horrified witness was injured trying to pull the keys from the ignition. The car eventually came to a stop against a tree.

  Miami Herald, June 24, 1987

  142. Spinster Wipeout.

  Seventy-year-old Norma Cooper missed her freeway cut-off, so she stopped and reversed across four lanes of rush hour traffic. Several cars narrowly missed rear-ending Cooper until she crossed in front of an unlucky transport driver. Police congratulated the trucker who swerved against the guardrail and managed not to involve any other vehicles. Cooper’s car was crushed and she died at the scene.

  Toronto Star, April 12, 1997

  143. Mind the Gap.

  Much of the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) system operates on elevated tracks. A fact well known to 3 year employee Gerald Albury. At one station the 48 year old train operator inexplicably exited out the wrong side of the train, plummeting 30 feet to the parking lot below. Albury became the first BART operator in 21 years to die on the job.

  San Jose Mercury News, October 6, 1993

  144. Assisted Matricide.

  An unidentified 28-year-old Wichita woman was run over by her 10-year-old son. The boy wanted his mother to move her car so he and his friend could play basketball in the driveway. Against the child’s protestations, the mother insisted that the boy operate the vehicle with her directing from behind. The woman stumbled while walking backwards causing the boy to panic and hit the gas instead of the brake pedal. The car came to a stop only when it hit the front of the family’s house.

  Toronto Star, May 25, 1997

  145. Up, Up and Away.

  Keith Hirsch, 37, was killed trying to hang on to his business. Three years earlier the laid off aerospace engineer mortgaged his house to buy a $300,000 blimp which cost $1000 a day to operate and $37,000 a year to insure. Hirsch and a crewmember were having difficulty landing the craft and at one point both were outside the blimp trying to secure the craft to the ground. The airship got loose, lifting the two into the air. The crewmember let go early and was not injured. Hirsch hung on and was carried 200 feet aloft before losing his grip and falling in front of his family and crew. The unpiloted craft wreaked havoc with San Francisco air traffic for several hours before it was guided safely to the ground by the down draft from a helicopter. An official of the Federal Aviation Administration commented, “I have never heard of anything like this.”