Among Ash and Ember: A New Adult Romance

by René, Dani

  In this house, just like the rose in this painting, I feel like I’m amongst the ashes and embers.

  Ember

  Seeing her in a room, not even Ashton has ever entered is jarring. This was my salvation. If it weren’t for my art, I might have turned to drinking and whores like my brother did. But then again, he was always more like our father than I was.

  I spent my time making love to the canvas, while Ash lost himself in women. We both had our addictions, so to speak, and I think we’ve come out okay on the other side. I hope Katerina can as well.

  I hate the thought of her selling her body to make ends meet. And I’m praying with all I have she’ll sign the agreement tonight. Not only for my selfish reasons or the guilt that eats away at me but because she needs this like she needs her next breath.

  Kat is still staring at the painting, and I’m too close. I want to inhale her fragrance and tell her all our secrets. Even the ones that involve her, but I know the moment she learns why she’s really here, and who Ash and I are, we’ll lose her. And that thought only solidifies my resolve. She can never know.

  “Do you like painting?” I question instead as I turn to the small desk I keep against the wall. The chair that I settle on is rickety, but I love its authenticity of how it fits in here perfectly. It’s how I would picture an art studio in the south of France. Hidden on a small wine farm overlooking the fields would be a small room where a painter ends up going mad, inhaling the fumes every day and drinking himself into a stupor every night.

  “Art has been a love of mine for a long time,” she tells me. Her back is still to me, and I watch her move through the easels and canvasses. “My father bought me my first sketchbook.”

  Her voice is a whisper, filled with regret, and I find myself leaning forward, urging her with my mind to continue.

  She turns and smiles as though she’s heard me. “I was addicted, seeing what I had in my mind come to life with a pencil and piece of paper. I’d always wanted to paint, to learn about the greats.”

  “Well, you will be. Just tell the dean what you’d like to major in, and he’ll make it happen.” My assurance gives her pause, and I can’t help but smile. She’s intoxicating.

  “Why have you taken me on as a project?” she questions suddenly. Her head tips to one side and her brows furrow as she regards me with those steel-gray eyes. Her pink lips purse as she watches me for my response.

  “Like we explained, our father—”

  “But I’m nothing to your father. Or even you and Ash,” she interrupts. “I just find it strange. I may agree to the scholarship you’re offering, but I don’t know if I can live with you. Not because I’m not grateful for what you’re doing for me, but I can’t allow myself to trust something that doesn’t make sense.”

  I know she’s right and I nod. Her eyes are on me, boring through me. I want to smile, to tell her she’s safe and that she’s here to heal Ashton. And to help me with the choice I have to make that I have already made, but I don’t. I ponder my response because nothing I can say will make her trust us. She needs to see it. “Are you not used to people wanting to help you?” I arch a brow at her.

  She shakes her head, and I set the glass down. Rising from my seat, I round the desk and eat up the distance between us. Our bodies are close and as much as I want to kiss her, to steal all her doubts and replace them with promises, I know I can’t be the one to do it.

  “We’ll show you that you can trust us. If you’d like to go home now you can, but dinner is ready, and we should eat before you leave. Stay?” I plead, cupping her face in my hands. I hold her steady so she can’t turn away. “Even if it’s only for one meal.” I gaze at her, look right through her eyes that remind me of a cloudy sky on a chilly fall day. The promise of rain lingers in her gaze about to extinguish the fire between all three of us.

  “Dinner. Then I need to go home.”

  I nod, stepping away from her.

  “And that trust you want me to allow you,” she tells me. “Give it time.” Her voice is small, filled with wariness and pain. I want to shove my hand into her body, to steal her hurt and never allow it near her again. I want to eliminate every doubt in her mind.

  I hear the click of the door, but I don’t acknowledge Ashton.

  His body is behind hers in a second, and I notice her gasp when his hands land on her hips. She’s between us with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.

  “Kitten,” he coos in her ear. “I’m sorry for being an asshole.”

  She glances at him over her shoulder, causing me to release her face from my hold. “You can’t apologize for being yourself.”

  Her sharp retort causes him to chuckle, and I can’t help laughing as well. He’s going to have his hands full soon enough, and I’m glad she’s not someone who will lie back and let him walk all over her.

  “Touché, Kitten.” He presses a kiss on her lips, and she allows him to. My plan is falling into place perfectly. My brother is a creature of habit. The moment he saw us in the kitchen, I knew he’d want to lay claim, and I’m sure he’s not going to mess this up. He can’t.

  Having my brother enter my studio sets me at ease. He’s never showed an interest in my painting, and I always thought it would gnaw at me, but I find I like it.

  “You’re joining us for dinner?” I question Ash, who nods in response. He steps back, allowing us all to move from the studio and into the hallway. Shutting the door, I follow Katerina and my brother through the house and into the dining room, which is already decked out with plates and glasses for wine and water.

  Ashton pulls out a chair for our guest, who slips into it as if she was made to be here in our home. I watch them for a moment until Ash looks over at me, offering me a sobering nod. He gestures for me to sit beside her, and he finds a seat opposite us. My confusion whirls inside my gut because if there’s one thing I know about my brother, it’s that he always goes for the girl.

  Soon we’re served by Greta, our cook, and when she notices Kat, she offers a friendly smile. The ladies chat for a moment, but my gaze is locked on Ash. I should confess and tell him everything. He deserves to know what I found out last week. But I shake my head, clearing my mind of the anxious thoughts when Katerina picks up an olive and plops it between her plump lips. The motion has both of us staring at her as if she’s an exotic animal we’ve never seen before.

  When she notices us, her gaze flits between us, and she furrows her brows. “What?” She smiles, looking at me for an answer.

  “You shouldn’t do that around us, Kitten,” Ash says, flicking his napkin and smoothing it onto his lap. “You’re far too tempting.” He picks up a fork and spears a potato before popping it into his mouth.

  Our dinner is comfortable. There’s nothing that makes my heart happier than seeing my brother and Kat banter. And every now and then, I entertain her with a story about Ash when he was a boy.

  As soon as our meal is over, I offer my good night and head up to my room. Ash will take Katerina home, and I need to do something my brother can’t see. The pain is shooting through me again, and I’m dizzy when I reach my bedroom.

  Shutting the door, I lean against the wood and close my eyes. I can’t hide it for much longer. He’ll notice it. Ashton is observant, and I know soon, the truth will spill free.

  Katerina

  We drove back to my house in silence, and I didn’t push Ash for any more information. Even though he sat beside me in the town car, he didn’t make a move to touch me.

  It’s dark, and I should put the light on, but I don’t. The bedroom is silent when Ash and I enter. My small room is nothing like the one they would offer me, but I know I can’t accept that right now.

  “Have you thought about the offer yet?” Ash asks after shutting my bedroom door.

  I turn to regard him and nod. “I have. The scholarship I’ll agree to, but I can’t live with you and Ember. Not yet.” Something isn’t sitting right. They’re both hiding the truth from me, and I’m deter
mined to discover it.

  He’s silent for a moment, and I wonder if he’s about to retract his offer. Honestly, I pray he doesn’t. But even if he does, I know I’ll be able to work and save my money until I’m ready.

  “Accepted. We can sign right now,” he tells me, pointing to the folder containing the contract.

  I realize what a long day it’s been and can’t stop the yawn that falls free from my lips. “I’m sorry.”

  “You’ve had a lot to think about. Let’s get that signed, and I’ll leave you to get some rest.” Ash smiles, gesturing again to the document in front of me.

  “Are you going to the bar after this?” I don’t know why I question him.

  “Curiosity killed the cat,” he utters, but he doesn’t come near me. His blue eyes turn dark.

  “The cat has nine lives,” I retort, trying to play off what I was actually asking—is he going to be with another woman tonight.

  “Katerina,” he says my name with a shake of his head. When Ash stalks closer, the air suddenly feels too heavy to pull into my lungs. He’s so handsome in his crisp white button-up and black slacks. I can’t help drinking him in like a fine wine. “I don’t like being questioned about my life, but . . .”

  “I wasn’t—”

  “You’re so beautiful, so sweet, I’d hate to deny you everything in that document and let you continue whoring your beautiful body out to strangers.”

  His words sting, burning like poison as they travel through me.

  “Anything you need I can make happen, but let me make one thing clear,” he says, reaching me. His body is molded to mine, the heat of his skin burns through the material of his T-shirt, turning me molten, igniting need that tightens low in my stomach. “If I ever catch you kissing anyone but me again, I’ll lose my shit, and you’ll both pay dearly.”

  “Why?” I bite out. “What do I mean to you? I walked into your office, and you threw me out.” I don’t know where the confidence comes from, but it seems to jar us both.

  He doesn’t move. His gaze is locked on mine. I notice the flicker of something in his eyes, and his brows furrow in confusion when he asks, “Do you think I don’t want you?”

  “Ash, I’ve spent years reading people. I know when I’m not wanted. And you’ve made it very fucking clear I’m nothing more than a charity case.”

  “Do not fucking call yourself that, Kitten.” He steps closer to me, causing my nipples to peak instinctively against my thin tank top. They brush against his warm, hard chest, and I can’t stop this need I have for him.

  A desperate desire swirls low in my gut, and my concentration falters for a moment before I step back, but realize my mistake immediately when I feel the desk at my ass.

  The corner of his mouth tilts, and he leans into me, caging me against the smooth wooden surface. His lips are so close and as much as I want to move away, I can’t.

  No. That’s not true. I don’t want to.

  Because as much as I want to deny it, I crave Ash.

  But what if he’s lying?

  Can you ever have your cake and eat it too?

  “Ash.”

  “Kitten,” he coos, his voice low and drenched with desire that I feel from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.

  I should push him away, but the moment my palms land on his skin, I know I’ve made a mistake. Electricity sizzles through me, zapping every nerve in my body. “Please.”

  “Please kiss you? Please touch you? Or please fuck you? Because those are the only choices, I’m offering.” He’s not joking, his hard gaze on me, striking a match which only seems to burn deeper within my very soul.

  I want to say all three. I feel drunk when his lips whisper along my cheek. It’s a heady feeling as if I finished a bottle of wine and have no control over my body or my actions. As if Ashton is the puppet master, and I’m merely the toy on a string.

  “I . . . I . . . can’t . . .”

  “You can.” He smirks, the corner of his mouth kicking up, and I’m met with his dimples as lust dances like a blue flame in his eyes. The emotion swims within the depths of his orbs, and I feel myself drowning every second I’m lost in them.

  “Ash, don’t do this,” I plead, but even to my own ears, there’s no conviction in my words. I want to push him away, but I want to drag him closer. What’s wrong with me?

  He presses his lips against my thrumming heartbeat, which turns my body molten with want and need. The softness of his lips, the heat of his breath fan over me, and the way he presses me against the desk makes every inch of me burn up.

  “Tell me, Kitten.” He urges, the ridge of his bulge taunting me, causing me to whimper. “Tell me how you want me to stop.” The rasp in his voice is warm, trickling over me like syrup, and I can’t stop licking my lips, needing to taste every drop.

  “Ash . . .”

  “Fuck this, Kat. You can’t deny you want me,” he tells me the one thing I’ve wanted to admit—I do want him. He doesn’t wait for me to refuse him anymore. His lips land on mine. They mold to me as if he was made to fit against me, and perhaps even inside me. He pushes me backward, and my ass settles on the wooden desktop.

  The hard bulge of his cock presses against my core, making me whimper into his mouth. I want so much to feel him, to take my shorts off and beg him to make my memories go away, to make the pain go away, but I don’t.

  His hands trail up my thighs before gripping onto my hips and holding me against him. I can’t move, and I don’t want to. I’m torn, ripped in two, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

  His tongue sweeps into my mouth lazily as if he’s merely tasting, testing the waters, but the moment my hands twine around his neck and I tug him closer, he must realize that there’s no way I can deny him.

  I want Ash Addington with a fire so fierce, it threatens to burn me to nothing.

  The heat of him mingled with the warmth of me turns the air in the room stifling. Desire consumes us. When Ash finally pulls away, my lips tingle and my body trembles, but he doesn’t step back. He doesn’t move.

  “You’re far too intoxicating,” he informs me with a wry smirk on his full dusky lips, and I revel in his beauty. “I can’t deny you.” His confession is a raspy whisper. Each word grips my heart.

  “And I can’t deny you as much as I want to,” I tell him honestly. He’s someone who can give me a life I never thought would ever be possible, but it’s more than that.

  “I want to kiss you all the fucking time. I want to taste you, and I want to hear you scream my name the moment you come on my cock.” He voices his desires, filthy words which make me squirm on the top of my desk.

  “You’re still an asshole who pushes people away,” I tell him.

  “I never once denied it, Kitten.” He chuckles, his hands still caging me in. I’m caught by the man, but I’m not a prisoner; I’m here because I want to be.

  “No, you didn’t. But . . . This is . . . Ember is . . .”

  “My brother likes you a lot. And if you want him, then tell me now. But just know this,” he utters in a low gravelly tone, finally stepping back and allowing me to breathe. “I don’t give up. I want you. I wanted you the moment I first laid my eyes on you, and even though I knew he’d be a better match, I played my hand.”

  “It’s you, Ash. I want you.” It’s true and real, and my heart is thudding so hard I’m scared it’s going to tear through my chest. I want to feel wanted, but I need it to be real. Not because he’s paid me, not because he’s bought me for the night. And right now, Ash is showing me every emotion I’m feeling—confusion, desire, affection, and yearning.

  Ash smiles, his face illuminated by the dim light of the bulb hanging overhead. “Then it’s me you’ll have.”

  I get lost in his promise for a moment. It’s everything I want.

  “I’ve never . . . I’ve not done the dating and girlfriend thing before.” He grins. “But I guess I could try.”

  “My focus is my future, Ash. As much as I want
you, I also need the money,” I tell him. “But I won’t be here as someone you’ve paid to be in your life.”

  “Life doesn’t afford us many choices, Kitten,” Ash finally says. I’m not sure what he means. I’m about to ask when he continues. “But you have one, and you’ve taken it. You’re not here for Ember or me; you’re here for your future.” I get a glimpse of his true heart. There’s no denying he’s felt pain, but at least he's honest.

  Pain will fray you. It will rip you to shreds.

  And love is the only thing that can put you back together.

  I know Ember’s love for his brother healed him somewhat. But Ash is still torn, and I wonder if I could ever mend him.

  “And you’re willing to try? For real?” I watch him for a moment, wanting him to tell me I’m his. I’m so scared, so fucking afraid of what’s coming, but if there’s one thing my parents taught me, it’s to take a chance but keep your eyes wide open.

  “I told you, Kitten. I want you.” He smiles. “You’re strong, you’re independent, but every now and then, you have to admit you need help. Our agreement has nothing to do with us.”

  I seek his gaze for a lie, for the punchline to some joke that he’s playing on me, but I find none. I’m staring up at him; he’s still so close. His spicy cologne holds me, hostage, swirling around me, and I know I’ll never get that intoxicating smell out of my head.

  “Okay,” I finally utter.

  “Tomorrow is Friday, let’s spend the afternoon together and get to know each other better. Perhaps we can go for dinner.” His smile is everything. I find myself nodding.

  “I’d like that.”

  A date with Ash. Who would’ve thought?

  Katerina

  “Why can’t I look?” I question with a giggle. Ash collected me at home and blindfolded me. Normally I’d be nervous, but he’s given me no reason to be scared. He even told Isobel where we’re going, though he swore her to secrecy. She smiled, offered me a wink, and told me to misbehave.