Among Ash and Ember: A New Adult Romance

by René, Dani

  Ash,

  When I’m no longer around, and you find this letter, which I’m sure you will, I need to ask you to do something important for me. I trust you will, and I know deep down, your brother will understand why I’m asking this of both of you.

  Since you’re the eldest, I’m giving you the responsibility of finding someone for me. Once I’m gone, she’ll be alone. I’ve tried so many times to help her, to give her a life that she’s worthy of, but the state won, and she went into foster care.

  You will take over Addington and Associates, which will give you access to a slew of people who can keep tabs on her. Once she turns eighteen, I want you to find her, watch over her, and make sure she has the life I’ve given both you and Ember.

  I can’t explain why, but I need her to know she’s not alone. I’ve included a letter I’d like you to deliver to her. It will offer her the answers she’s been looking for, and I hope, that it brings her some sort of clarity and closure.

  Son, I haven’t ever told you this, but I’m proud of both you and Ember. You’re the reason I kept going, but now you’re old enough to look after yourselves. You’re both responsible adults, more so than I could ever have been. Your mother would’ve been proud.

  There was never a right or wrong time to do this, but just know I love you, Ashton. Don’t ever give up searching for the woman who changes you. She’ll be the one who will make you see that your life is worth living.

  I found mine. It was your mother. When she died, I thought my life was over. I couldn’t see past the pain. Losing someone you love will hurt. It will burn you from the inside out until all that’s left is rubble. Don’t let it take you down.

  Love is out there.

  You mother once told me something I thought I would share with you. ‘Love will always be among Ash and Ember, even when I’m not there.’

  And she was right; you both loved me, even at my worst.

  Thank you, son.

  Dad

  Setting the letter on the bed, I close my eyes and breathe deeply. I can’t believe their father remembered me on his deathbed. Even after all he’d done to help, he still left a dying wish for his son to find me. I pick up the smaller envelope and tear it at the edge, then pull out the paper which has been folded into three.

  On the white card, I find the same scrawl that was on Ash’s letter.

  Katerina,

  I wish I could’ve done more. Given you more. I just wasn’t in the right state of mind to adopt you at the time, although I wish I was. My sons would’ve enjoyed having a girl in the house. Someone with as much fire and passion as you have. Watching you fall apart, I knew I could never give you the affection you needed. I wasn’t even there for my two boys.

  I was in the store the evening your parents died. Your dad told me he was working on a large order that needed to be done by morning. I was drunk, telling your father how much I missed my wife. We spoke at length about how she was probably watching me from heaven. She was a good woman, a wonderful wife, and the perfect mother.

  In my inebriated state, I spun around and knocked a gas canister on the floor. The hissing sound hit my ears, and I knew something was wrong. I told your father to get your mom—who was tying the bouquet of flowers I’d bought for my late wife—and that was when I saw him. A man passing the window shoved open the door, and he flicked his burning cigarette at the canister before I could think. I pushed him outward, but I was too late.

  It wasn’t an accident. And it certainly wasn’t your parents’ fault. It was mine. It was the man dressed in black that I couldn’t locate. I spent months exhausting every possible angle. And I still failed.

  The place went up in flames. I tried to get back in, but I couldn’t because a balustrade had blocked the entrance. I shattered a window, only to have it stoke the fire. It didn’t help. I was too weak from the alcohol. I was a mess, and I couldn’t save them.

  Your mother screamed for me to look at her, and the moment I did, she screeched one word. Your name. Katerina. I watched her disappear in the smoke, and I stood by and did nothing. By the time I turned to the stranger, I had noticed he’d run. To this day, I can’t remember his face. Everything was a blur, and for that, I’m guilty. If I wasn’t drunk, I could’ve helped the police find him.

  I ran. I fucking ran like the coward I am.

  I’m gulping in air, the words are blurry, and somehow, I can see everything clearly in my mind. The small flower store, and my mother calling my name, trying to tell a stranger that I had nobody else in the world.

  I focus on the letter once more, swiping at my face.

  I tried to help you out of guilt. Out of the pain I’d caused because I blame myself for that fire that stole your parents. Only, I failed at that as well. All I can do is say I’m sorry.

  My sons will find you one day, and they’ll give this to you.

  I wish you well, Katerina, and I hope that the small token of apology is some sort of penance for my part in your life. My company, Addington and Associates, will pay for your schooling. I’ve left Ashton, my eldest son, in charge, and he will ensure this is taken care of.

  Don’t be afraid. You’re a strong girl, probably a woman now.

  Let my sons know I love them,

  Mr. Addington

  I sit in silence. My chest is tight, and my eyes burn with tears. I stare at the wall, attempting to hold the emotion in. I try to keep from breaking. For years, I was alone. For months, I felt as if nothing would ever be okay again.

  And now I’m here, with my dreams just within reach, but the men who are offering it to me held this truth from me.

  Pushing off the sofa, I find Ember in the kitchen. I think I’m free of Ash, just for the moment, but he enters the space, and soon, both brothers are looking at me.

  “He’s innocent,” I tell them, glancing at Ember, then Ash. “In his letter to me, he explained what happened. He was buying flowers for your mother’s grave.” They both visibly relax their tightened jaws. Ash’s eyes flicker with emotion. Tears pool in them, and I want to go to him.

  “Thank you,” Ash murmurs.

  “It doesn’t change the fact that you lied to me when you could’ve come clean.” After the week that’s passed, I’ve only ever wanted the truth. “You knew where I was for months.” I look at Ash. “And you didn’t come to me, sit me down, and talk to me. You paid me to get naked for you, Ash.”

  He nods, and I wonder if he understands how painful this is for me. When those blue eyes meet mine, he admits, “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  “But you did,” I tell him. My heart aches. My mind is whirling with all the information I’ve learned tonight. I need time to allow it to sink in. Somehow. “Take me home, Ember,” I speak, but I don’t recognize my voice.

  “Sweetheart—”

  “I said take me home,” I bite out. I don’t know who I’m angry at—Ash and Ember, their father, or myself.

  “Katerina.” Ash’s voice steals my attention, his gaze locked on mine. Questions hang between us, unasked, unanswered.

  “I’m going home.” I turn and walk out of the kitchen, heading for the front door, and I wonder if I’ll ever return. I hear the footsteps behind me, but I continue on, not wanting to look at Ash. As much as I’m angry at Ember, it’s his brother who’s hurt my heart because he’s the one I’ve slowly been falling for.

  Ember is behind the wheel as we weave through the streets. The moment he pulls up to the house, I thank him and get out of the car. I don’t look back. I can’t.

  Once I’m in my bedroom, I curl up on my mattress and cry. I’m in the fetal position, holding onto my legs as if it will keep me from falling apart.

  It won’t.

  It never can.

  And in the depths of my tears, I wonder if I’ll ever feel whole again.

  Ash

  It’s been two days since I told her the truth.

  Forty-eight hours since she read the letters.

  And one hundred and fifty minutes
since she started going to class.

  I know this because I’ve called the dean to check on her and he informed me she’s been enjoying her subjects so far.

  I’ve done all this because my little kitten hasn’t wanted to talk to me. She asked for time. But I’m done with waiting. She’s mine, and I’m going to get her back. I sent her a message earlier, telling her I’ll be in the music room at the bar tonight. Nobody else knows that—only her, me, and the manager on duty. When I asked for the room to be cleaned and a bottle of whiskey to be waiting, he assured me everything would be in place.

  I spent most of my childhood smiling, making sure everyone was convinced that I was happy. But deep down, I knew I was different. Closing my eyes, I sigh, allowing my fingers to press on the keys, causing a deep, haunting sound to jump from the piano.

  I lift my hands, then allow the featherlight touch of my fingertips to dance along the ebony and ivory, imagining it’s Katerina’s supple body. I want so much to stroke her, to feel her shudder and tremble under my touch.

  It’s been a long while since I paid for it since I wanted anyone but Katerina. Perhaps I should venture out again. Maybe it’s best I don’t touch my kitten because I know the moment I do, I’ll never be able to walk away.

  “That’s pretty.” Her sweet, serene tone comes from the doorway, but I don’t look at her. My hands hover over the keys, and I wait. I’m not sure why, but I pray she tells me I’m wrong for her because I am. And even though I want her to walk away to keep herself safe, I’m coaxing her closer.

  “It’s from memory,” I tell her, staring at the space where sheet music should be. “My mother taught it to me when I was just a child. I didn’t even know what the different keys meant. All I knew were the melodies they made and how they fit together.”

  I feel her body beside mine on the small, black leather bench. She’s perched like a swan next to me, her back arched perfectly. She reminds me of the girls I watched up on stage when we visited the theatre.

  “Can I play?” she asks with the innocence of a little girl.

  I nod.

  She smiles.

  I want to kiss her.

  How much restraint will it take not to pin her down right here and have my wicked way with her?

  Apparently, all of it. Every ounce of me is needy for her. I’m throbbing in my dark slacks, and I’m thankful I decided to pull my shirt from the waistband, so it hangs loosely over my crotch.

  Her fingers strum the keys, caressing and toying with them. I recognize the melody as a pop song by Halsey. If I’m not mistaken, she’s playing “Heaven in Hiding” which I would never have thought could sound so good as a classical piece. But somehow it works.

  “You lied to me.” She speaks with her eyes closed and her fingers still dancing along each of the keys. “I don’t like lies.”

  “I’m sorry, Kitten,” I tell her. “I only wanted to keep you safe, make sure you were cared for by offering you an education and a home. But it was my mistake to hold back something like that from you.”

  “Safety doesn’t come with lies. When you care about someone, you tell them the truth. Even if it may hurt them.” She schools me gently, and I nod in agreement. I can’t deny her. She’s completely right.

  Her gaze falls to the instrument. She doesn’t look away from the keys while she plays, her body swaying side to side, and I can’t help but envision her riding me with that same motion. When she finishes off the song, she turns to regard me. “Did you like it?”

  “What?” I furrow my brows in confusion.

  She smiles, leaning in, her mouth inches from mine. “The song.”

  “I’d love anything you played,” I tell her honestly.

  Her finger dances over one key, again and again, as if words are brewing in her mind, and she wants to let them out. I wish she’d tell me what she was thinking. I wish I could read her mind.

  Suddenly, she’s on her feet. I watch her sway in the silent room, dancing as if to a melody in her head. There’s a playfulness about her. A light that shines when she spins around and around. Her feet fly across the floor, and I can’t help but smile.

  When she comes to a stop, she regards me. “I was so angry,” she tells me.

  “I know.”

  She shakes her head sadly. “I allowed my stupid emotions to get the better of me. I should’ve known better than to let myself to believe in something good.”

  “No, this is on me. I should’ve been the one to offer the truth to you,” I admit, hoping she doesn’t run again. “I care for you, Katerina.”

  “I want to fly away sometimes. I think about leaping off a cliff and soaring in the air.” She sounds wistful as if this was something she could actually do, and it scares me. I can’t lose her. I just can’t.

  “Have you been drinking, Kitten?” I tease, causing her to stop, her mouth pouting into a plump circle that doesn’t help my erection calm itself.

  “Did you tell the dean I was sorry for running out?” She questions suddenly.

  “He understood it was too emotional for you,” I tell her, nodding as I rise from my seat. I near her, but she spins away, her body moving like liquid flowing over rocks, fluid and pure.

  “Do you really want to make it up to me?” she says, stopping inches from me.

  “Of course I do. I would do anything for you.” I almost drop to my knees, begging her to come to the house, to spend time with Ember and me. But I wait for her to speak.

  “Take me on another date. Show me who you are.”

  My brows furrow in confusion. “What?”

  “That’s what normal people do. I want to be normal. Your father wanted me to experience life, and that’s something I want.” Kat shrugs.

  Smiling, I respond, “I don’t date.”

  “You fuck?” The word on her tongue is enough to have me groaning. The sound rumbles through my chest when she smiles. “Fuck.”

  “Katerina.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Kitten, I’m warning you.”

  She giggles playfully, and I’m enamored. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she teases me, and I can’t take any more.

  Gripping her arm, I spin her around and plant her top half over the smooth black of the piano.

  Her breasts are squashed against it, and her palms are flat, holding on. “What are you doing?”

  I don’t respond. I hitch up the skirt she’s wearing and bunch it at her waist, finding soft blue cotton panties cupping her perfect little ass. Her pert cheeks are just begging for a spanking, and I deliver two hard blows to either one.

  “Ouch!”

  “Are you going to taunt me some more?” I question, holding her down so she can’t move. “Kitten, answer me.”

  “Did anyone ever tell you that you’re an asshole?”

  “Yes, many times.” I chuckle.

  Her shy tone makes me want to rip off her panties and inhale her sweetness.

  “Now, I’ll ask you once more. Are you done teasing me?”

  “Yes,” she murmurs, and I release my hold on her. When she meets my gaze, her eyes are darker, almost a thundering gray. “Was that . . . did you like that?”

  I nod. “Yes. Spanking, you made my cock hard.” I lean in closer to her before whispering my mouth over the smooth, supple flesh of her nape. “And if you’d continued to taunt me, I would’ve ripped your pretty panties off and fucked you hard against my piano.” I step back, allowing her to really take in my promise. It’s definitely not a matter of how, but a matter of when.

  “You want me like that?” Her innocence shines through every word, and I watch her, confused at how she doesn’t realize how much I really do crave her.

  I turn away from her, not bothering to give her the response she wants. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow afternoon at one. Be ready when I arrive.”

  “Wait! What do you mean?”

  “You wanted a date?” I tell her. When I reach the door, I stop before turning to regard her and smile. “You’ll get it.”
>
  After pushing through the exit, I step out of the room and signal my driver to wait for her. I’m tired, and I want to sleep. I’m also turned on and ready to fuck. But Kat’s not there yet.

  She’s giving me a chance on her terms, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make her wishes come true.

  She won’t run away from me again.

  Not now.

  Not ever.

  Katerina

  When I walked into the hotel bar last night, I knew I was going to get Ash to agree to a date. My anger abated after I read the letters. I had time to think about what it meant to them to find me. I’ve reread each letter over and over until I came to the realization that their father only wanted what was best for them and me. And I decided to give them both a second chance.

  Although, I’m still frustrated at both brothers for hiding things from me, I think everyone deserves a chance to make things right. Two days without Ash and I was missing him like I’d miss my next breath if it never came.

  My phone rings startling me. Ember’s name flashes on my screen, and I answer it before I have time to second-guess myself.

  “Sweetheart,” he greets, and I can hear the relief in his voice.

  “Ember, I wanted to call you. I saw Ash yesterday,” I tell him in a rush.

  “I know,” he responds, and I can almost see the smile on his face in my mind’s eye. “Thank you. Honestly, you didn’t have to come back to us. We would’ve still paid your scholarship.”

  Shaking my head, I tell him, “This isn’t about the money—well, not only about the money. I just . . . I missed him,” I finally admit out loud, knowing that although it’s dangerous, I have to allow myself to feel this.

  “He missed you. I’m not trying to put any pressure on you, Kat, but . . . My brother needs you. He will need you.”

  Confusion arises at his words, and I question, “What do you mean?”

  “I have to go. We’ll speak soon.” And then he’s gone, leaving me frowning at my phone.