The Lies That Define Us

by Micalea Smeltzer

  I heard something in her tone that made me pause. “Have you been broken?”

  There was still so much about Ari that I didn’t know. It was obvious that she had secrets, lots of them, and I also got the feeling that a part of her was desperate to flee, and yet, she stayed.

  She shook her head and looked at me with a steely determination. “No, I wouldn’t let him.” Before I could respond to that comment, she quickly added, “That is your truth for the day.”

  I snapped my teeth together and let out a groan.

  That girl was one giant mystery wrapped up in a pretty little package.

  “Are you ever going to tell me?” I asked, reaching out and wrapped my hand around her wrist. Beneath my fingers I felt her pulse begin to race and her breath hissed between her lips.

  “Do you want to die?” Her tone was serious.

  I snorted and let go of her wrist. “What kind of question is that?”

  “An honest one.” She shrugged with a sigh and returned her attention to the photos. “No one knows about these?” She motioned to the various photos.

  “That’s not entirely true.” I shrugged. “People know I like photography, but nobody knows about the darkroom. Most of the photos you see around my house are taken by me, but…they’re different. These are special. With film you have one shot to get it right, and I love that aspect. It makes the experience more personal. With digital photography you can edit the photo to make it perfect, but not here.” I pointed to the picture of Joe. “And you don’t know what you’re going to get until you develop the film.”

  “Thank you,” she said softly, spinning around again, “for sharing this with me.”

  I dipped my head in a nod. “This room is still off-limits.” I winked at her to lessen the sting of my words.

  She laughed. “Noted.” Lifting her fingers to a photo, she said, “I love this one.”

  It was a simple photo of a flower in bloom. I didn’t even know what kind of flower it was, but I’d seen it and felt compelled to document it. The black and white photo somehow seemed to enhance the small details of the flower instead of shadowing them, and the leaves around the flower appeared to be cradling it.

  “There’s something I wanted to ask you,” I broached hesitantly.

  She raised a brow and crossed her arms over her chest. “Out with it, Wade.” Her lips lifted playfully.

  “You know my competition in Hawaii in two weeks?”

  “Yeah?” She nodded. “What about it?”

  “I want you to go with me.” I cleared my throat and hastily added, “Talia and the guys are going too so it wouldn’t just be…uh…us.” I cringed at my not-so-smooth effort to get her to go.

  “But I have to work and don’t airports require ID or something? I don’t even have a license.” She wrung her hands together and shuffled her feet nervously.

  “My dad’s band has their own private plane. He said I could use it for the trip so that everyone could go.”

  “Oh, are they going?” she questioned.

  “Yeah, I think so,” I nodded. “They said all of us could use the plane and they’d fly out later. Don’t know why, they’ll probably get mobbed,” I mused.

  “Aren’t there, like, a lot of cameras at airports?”

  I snorted. “Yeah, why?” That was such an odd question to ask. Cameras? Was I harboring a fugitive or something? I narrowed my eyes on her. “Ari?”

  “I don’t think I can go.”

  “We don’t even go inside the airport. We drive around and board the plane privately. It’s one of the many perks of having a private jet at your disposal.”

  Her mouth parted in a perfect O shape.

  “Why would the cameras be an issue anyway?”

  “Oh, no reason.” She waved a hand dismissively.

  I couldn’t let it go. “There’s got to be a fucking reason.” My voice grew heated and my fists clenched at my sides.

  “Liam, please,” she begged, “it’s not like I killed someone. It’s stupid, honestly. Forget I said anything.” She brushed past me and slipped out of the room.

  She was lying about something—a lot of things, most likely—and I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever know the truth.

  Or if I even wanted to.

  ***

  My feet pounded against the sand as the sun began to rise above the dark line of the ocean. My breath came out in sharp pants, and my lungs felt ready to burst, but I kept going. My arms swung at my sides, propelling me forward.

  “Dude, slow down,” Ollie wheezed behind me. “Bleh.” He spat on the ground. “I’m pretty sure you kicked sand into my mouth.”

  “Quit your whining and run faster,” I taunted.

  I was exhausted too, but I couldn’t quit yet.

  Push, push, push.

  Forge ahead. That’s what I had to do. Exhaustion meant nothing in the face of what was to come.

  Ollie didn’t catch up, and I continued to hear him moan and groan behind me.

  “I-have-to-go-to-work-you-know,” he managed to get out between pants. “And-I-can’t-work-if-I-can’t-stand-on-my-legs.”

  “Wah, wah, wah, you’re such a cry baby.”

  “Fuck-you-Wade.”

  “You know, it doesn’t quite have the same effect when you can’t breathe properly.” I grinned over my shoulder at him and he gave me the finger.

  I shook my head and forged ahead.

  Half a mile left.

  Ollie grew quiet behind me, and I glanced back to make sure he hadn’t passed out or something, but he was still trudging along—his face red with exertion.

  I slowed to a walk and Ollie cried out, “Thank-you-Jesus.”

  He walked beside me, gasping for air with his hands on his hips.

  “Dude,” I laughed at his misery, “what’s wrong with you?”

  It wasn’t like Ollie was out of shape, so I found his display pretty funny.

  “I-shouldn’t-have-eaten-all-those-Cheetos.” He clutched at his side. “I-think-I’m-going-to-be—” He bent suddenly at the waist and retched all over the ground.

  “Fuck, Ollie.” I skittered backwards, cringing.

  “Sick,” he finished, standing up and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I feel better now.” He reached for me with his dirty hand, like he was going to clap me on my back.

  “Oh fuck no.” I dodged his hand. “Don’t even think about it.”

  Ollie loved to mess with my slight obsessive-compulsive tendencies when it came to cleanliness.

  “Oh, come on,” he taunted, waving his hand. “It’s just a little puke.”

  He tried to rub his hand on me again. I nearly fell over my feet trying to get away. I ran back to my house with Ollie trailing behind me, laughing hysterically. I was sure to a passerby it looked like we were acting like a bunch of silly kids.

  I busted inside the house where the girls were just waking up. Talia and Rebecca were sitting at the table while Ari made breakfast. I’d intended to make all of them breakfast, but they’d woken up earlier than I expected.

  Ari didn’t turn away from the stove as I took a seat at the table. I hadn’t seen her since the night before and it didn’t look like she wanted to make conversation.

  Ollie came busting inside and bent to kiss Talia.

  “Don’t kiss him, he just threw up,” I warned her.

  “Cock-blocker,” Ollie muttered when Talia ducked away from his lips.

  I laughed. “Does it count as cock-blocking when you weren’t about to get any anyway?”

  Ollie mumbled unintelligibly under his breath and took the empty seat beside Talia.

  “What are you ladies up to, today?” I questioned Rebecca and Talia.

  “Shopping.” Rebecca clapped her hands together. Shopping didn’t sound one bit appealing to me, but I guessed most girls loved it. “Ari finally agreed to go with me to the mall, so we’re doing that. Talia’s going too.”

  “You’re leaving me, babe?” Ollie pouted.


  Talia poked his puckered lip. “I think you’ll live.”

  His head lowered, crestfallen.

  “Breakfast is served,” Ari chimed, setting down dishes with eggs, toast, and bacon.

  She went back for a stack of plates and utensils and set them down on the table. She took the empty seat beside Rebecca, away from me. Her choice in seat didn’t go unnoticed by me, or anyone else.

  Ollie made a big show of rolling his head around before his eyes landed on me. “What did you do to piss off the pretty lady, Wade?”

  “Nothing.” I shrugged. “I’m a perfect fucking angel.”

  Ollie snorted. “Right? And my name is Christina Aguilera, and I’m a genie in a bottle.”

  The table went silent and within seconds we all broke out into laughter.

  Talia buried her face into the crook of Ollie’s arm but quickly pulled away with a cry of, “Ew, you stink!” Which only made us laugh harder.

  “What are you doing today, Liam? Would you want to go with us?” Rebecca asked with a sly smile, eyeing Ari. She wasn’t oblivious to our situation, and if there was strife, it looked like she was going to try her best to push us back together.

  “I have training,” I replied, scooping some eggs onto my plate. After I had breakfast, I was meeting up with Brady and Jeremiah and getting out in the water. I needed to clock some serious surf time in the next two weeks.

  “Oh, that’s right!” She snapped her fingers together. “I think I read about you qualifying for some big tournament or something in a magazine. You know, since you never come by Mo’s anymore and talk to any of us.”

  I mock-winced. “Sorry, Rebecca.”

  “Mhm,” she hummed. “I’m sure you’re all torn up about it.”

  I cracked a smile and finished adding things to my plate. “Devastated, I assure you.”

  I grew quiet as I ate while the others chatted, but I did steal glances at Ari every now and then.

  I was determined to find out what she was hiding.

  I would, eventually, I knew, but when I did, would it change everything?

  Ari

  “This would look great on you.” Rebecca held up a floral printed dress, laughing maniacally.

  I wrinkled my nose in disgust. “Yeah, no thanks. Why don’t you get it?”

  “Never,” she cackled, replacing it on the rack.

  Talia scanned a nearby rack. “I hope I can still wear cute clothes when I get big. I might be pregnant, but I still want to look stylish.”

  I eyed her skinny frame. “I think you’ll be fine. You’ll probably be one of those girls whose belly doesn’t pop out until that baby is ready to come out.”

  She frowned. “I hope not. I’m kind of looking forward to having a belly—I’ll take that over the stylish clothes any day.”

  “Ollie will be so funny as a dad,” Rebecca said, moving to another rack. “I can see him trying to wear the kid as a hat or something.”

  Talia shrugged. “I wouldn’t put it past him. It’s going to be interesting for sure.”

  Rebecca eyed me from the next rack over. “Guuurl,” she said real low and slow. “I saw Liam hand you some money, so get to looking and buy something hot.”

  I stiffened. “I’m not spending his money. I’m going to slip it back in his wallet.”

  Talia snorted. “He’s going to ask you what you bought, and then he’ll be pissed when you tell him nothing. You better not go home empty-handed.”

  “Ugh,” I groaned. “I don’t want to spend his money.”

  Liam knew I wouldn’t spend any of my own, so he’d handed me a wad of cash and told me to buy whatever I wanted. Not likely. Even with the girls trying to persuade me I wasn’t going to break. I didn’t want to be any more of a charity case than I already was. Liam let me use a room in his house, eat his food, and he’d already bought me plenty of clothes. I didn’t need anything. I’d only agreed to the shopping trip so I could spend some time with the girls.

  Rebecca came around the rack to stand in front of me. “What exactly is going on with you guys?”

  I shrugged. “We have feelings for each other, but that’s it. It’s complicated.”

  Rebecca rolled her eyes. “Talia, did you hear that? It’s complicated. A relationship isn’t complicated. You know what is complicated? Using the bathroom and running out of toilet paper and having no one to get you more.”

  “I…Did you just…” I busted out laughing.

  “Make an analogy using toilet paper? Why yes, yes I did, because you just gave me the shittiest answer.” She giggled and bumped her elbow against Talia’s arm. “See what I did there?”

  Talia shook her head, laughing under her breath.

  “I can’t handle you.”

  She smirked at me. “You love me, and you know it. I make your days at Mo’s fly by.” She spun around dramatically.

  “You know,” I mused quietly, “you guys are the first real friends I’ve had in a long time.”

  Rebecca stopped, staring at me open-mouthed. “Seriously?”

  I nodded and picked up a black-and-white striped sweater, holding it against my body. “Yeah.”

  “You realize that’s kind of pathetic, right?”

  I suppressed a laugh. “Yeah, I know, but it’s true.”

  “Well, I’m honored to be your friend.” Talia briefly touched her fingers to my arm. “I’m so happy I spoke to you that day and convinced you to let us help.”

  “Me too,” I agreed quietly, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

  I owed a lot to Talia and Ollie.

  I put the sweater back on the rack and moved to another.

  I was only going through the motions, since I wasn’t going to buy anything, but it was still fun to look and imagine.

  We moved on to another store and then another, all the while Rebecca tried to convince me to spend Liam’s money.

  It wasn’t happening.

  “I’m getting hungry,” I said when we left the next store. By that point I was desperate to move the shopping trip along so I could end Rebecca’s nagging. I loved the girl, I really did, but she was tap-dancing across my last nerve.

  “Me too,” Talia agreed. “Can we head in there first and then eat?” She pointed her orange painted fingernail at a baby clothes store. Her eyes shone brightly, glimmering with excitement.

  “Ooh. Baby stuff,” Rebecca cried gleefully. “I love baby stuff.” Sobering, she pointed at both of us. “That doesn’t mean I’ll be joining the baby train any time soon, though. Maybe in like…five years.” She crinkled her nose in thought.

  “Five years?” I laughed, lifting a brow.

  “Five years seems like a good timeline for settling down.” She shrugged as we entered the store.

  Talia’s eyes flitted from the table in the front to the racks set up and shelf after shelf of baby clothes.

  “They’re so tiny,” she said in awe. “Wow.”

  She reached out and picked up a small yellow and white striped onesie with a duck on it. Her fingers shook slightly, and I heard her gasp.

  “I’m still struggling to believe it’s real.”

  She picked up a green hat with little ears on it.

  “Look at this.” Rebecca came over to us, carrying a pale pink onesie with a tutu attached. “Is this not the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?”

  “That’s adorable,” Talia cried, taking the onesie from her and holding it against her chest. “Guys,” she said softly, “I’m going to be a mom. Isn’t that crazy?”

  “It means you’re like a real official grown-up now,” Rebecca mused. Her mouth parted in horror. “This means you can’t drink! For nine whole months. Forget it, I’m never having kids. I’ll raise chickens instead.”

  I snorted. “Chickens?”

  Rebecca pursed her lips and gathered her whitish-blond hair into a ponytail. “Chickens are cute, and I like eggs.”

  Talia and I looked at each other and broke out into laughter.

  “Humph,” she
made a noise in her throat, “no eggs for you guys then.”

  Talia put the onesie down and moved to another table set up that held the softest looking blankets I’d ever seen and small stuffed animals.

  “Aw, I love this one.” Talia picked up a blanket with an Aztec print on it in colors of navy, gold, and light green. “And look at this. This is precious.” She held up a small gray and white stuffed bunny. Tears shimmered in her eyes. “I want these,” she said softly, holding on tightly to both. She looked at the prices and paled. “Never mind.” Her voice grew soft and crackly with sadness as she put them down. The tears in her eyes pooled further, and this time I knew it wasn’t because she was overcome with happiness. “Let’s go eat,” she said forlornly, heading for the exit.

  I didn’t hesitate to grab the blanket and stuffed bunny.

  “Ari, no.” Talia grabbed my arm and tried to stop me. “You don’t need to do that.”

  “I want to,” I told her, “and Liam would want me to too. Consider it a gift from both of us.” I laid the items down on the counter.

  “Did you find everything okay?” the checkout girl asked.

  “Yes,” I replied with a smile.

  “Ari,” Talia whined, “you don’t have to do this.”

  “Shush.”

  The checkout girl gave me the total, and I handed her the cash.

  “Have a nice day,” she chimed merrily, handing me the bag.

  “Thanks,” I said, promptly handing the bag to Talia.

  “Thank you so much.” Talia grabbed me in a hug. “This means a lot to me, you have no idea.” The tears returned to her eyes.

  I shrugged like it was no big deal. “You and Ollie really helped me out, and now it’s my chance to return the favor a little.”

  “Stop being sappy. You guys are going to make me cry.” Rebecca fanned at her face. “And I don’t cry.”

  I bumped her shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with shedding a tear now and then. It cleanses the soul.”

  “Bleh,” she made a face as we started toward the food court, “my soul is practically a hunk of a coal. Nothing is going to cleanse that thing.”

  “What do you guys want to get to eat?” I asked them.