Wife, Mother...Lover?

by Sally Tyler Hayes

  “I wasn’t sure.”

  Mitch nodded. “This is where I want to be.” And then, finally, he kissed her and drew her into his arms. He made love to her, tenderly, gently, until he couldn’t anymore, until there was no place for restraint between them. Leanne nearly screamed when the climax hit her. Mitch covered his mouth with hers just in time, and when he pulled away, he was laughing deep in his throat and reminding her that the boys were right next door.

  And then Leanne was laughing, too. Until she had tears running down her cheeks, tears Mitch found and fussed over as he wiped them dry.

  “Leanne?”

  “Yes?”

  He settled her against his side, her head pillowed on his shoulder. “You thought I was going to walk away from you tonight. That I would walk into that bedroom across the hall and leave you here all alone. I don’t think I could do that even if I wanted to.”

  She opened her mouth to say something to him, but he brought his head down to hers and kissed her softly on the lips.

  “Go to sleep,” he said, tightening his hold on her, anchoring her to his side.

  The bed was tiny, but it didn’t matter that much because they slept in each other’s arms.

  Early the next morning, Mitch woke her with a slow, sexy kiss. She wound her arms around his neck and turned her body into his. Just as his hand settled over her breast, she heard a giggle.

  Mitch lifted his head and looked at her. “I didn’t realize I was so amusing.”

  “Wasn’t me,” she said.

  They looked up together and found Timmy standing beside the bed, gesturing animatedly and chattering about something to do with his brother. Then they heard Teddy cry, “Outl”

  “Oh, you didn’t help him out of the crib this morning?” Mitch asked.

  Timmy grinned and pointed. “Tee, out!”

  “I’ll get him.” He turned back to Leanne, who was clutching the sheet to her because she wasn’t wearing anything else, and he gave her a slow, sexy smile. “Back to the real world?”

  She let her hand rest on his arm for a second. “I happen to like my real world. I like it a lot.”

  The following days were like magic, like a gift out of time, Leanne thought. She was absolutely in love with the boys, and just as in love with Mitch.

  As a man fiercely intent on protecting her sister, he’d been incredibly attractive. But as an utterly fabulous and loving father, a kind and supportive ally, a generous, enthusiastic lover, he was positively irresistible.

  Leanne could have sworn he was happy, too.

  Still, she kept waiting for the guilt to overwhelm him and her and ruin what they’d found together. But so far it hadn’t happened.

  One morning in early October, when she and Mitch had been married for two weeks, Ginny convinced Leanne it was time to try Mothers’ Morning Out at Ginny’s church. It was a wondrous thing, she claimed, three entire hours to themselves while the children played in the nursery at church. They could shop all alone, which was good, because Ginny was redoing her bedroom and she wanted a new bed.

  “Marc would sooner gnaw off his right arm than go shopping,” she said. “So you can help me pick it out.”

  “Okay,” Leanne agreed once they were in the car on their way to the church. “What’s the catch?”

  “Catch?”

  “To this Mothers’ Morning Out thing?”

  Ginny sighed. “The kids will probably pitch a fit and make us feel like terrible mothers for leaving them. And once every six weeks or so, you and I have to watch eighteen crying toddlers who’ve been abandoned by their own cruel, heartless mothers.”

  Leanne grinned. “I take it this means it won’t do any good to tell you I’m not sure if I can leave the boys with total strangers.”

  “These aren’t strangers. They’re perfectly wonderful women who go to my church.”

  Leanne still wasn’t sure. “The boys will really cry if I leave them?”

  “Of course. They’ve gotten attached to you. Besides, they’re toddlers, and toddlers are the greatest manipulators in the world. They sense that guilt inside you, and they attack you right where they know they have their best chance of getting to you and getting what they want.”

  “Which is?”

  “To stop their cruel, heartless mother from leaving them with a couple of strangers,” Ginny quipped. “You have to promise me you won’t cry when they start to cry. Otherwise we’ll never get out of here. Just tell yourself that motherhood is a wonderful and precious gift, just not one that anyone should be forced to enjoy twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. We’re allowed to get away from them every now and then.”

  “Okay. I can do this.” Leanne took a breath to steady herself and would not let herself look into the back of the van, where the boys were sitting in their car seats, chatting away, with no idea of what was in store for them.

  They pulled into the church parking lot, and Will seemed a little uneasy. He’d been here before, after all. He knew what was coming. He was crying by the time they walked into the nursery, a bright, shining room fitted with toys, with a dozen or so children playing happily. One little girl in the corner was clinging to her mother, as another woman tried to coax her into coming to play. And in the rocking chair, a child was sucking his thumb and sobbing with his head on the shoulder of a woman Leanne was sure was not related to him.

  Teddy appeared a little uneasy, and Leanne started to worry.

  “We’re going to do this fast,” Ginny said. “Trust me. It doesn’t get any easier, no matter how long the good byes are. And don’t panic. If you do, the boys will pick up on it, and they’ll panic, too.”

  Teddy pressed against her leg, his arms going around her knee. And Timmy looked suspicious. Will was howling, and Hannah was reassuring both Ginny and Leanne that she would take perfectly good care of all the babies. Hannah didn’t consider herself one of them. After all, she was big.

  Leanne put Teddy into the arms of a woman Ginny introduced as Laurie, gave Timmy a toy tractor, which he loved, and told them both goodbye. They gazed at her with sad, puppy-dog eyes filled with big tears. Teddy held out his arms to her and sobbed. Timmy looked defiant once he stopped looking scared.

  All of a sudden, Leanne could imagine herself a year from now, her time with them over. And she was supposed to just walk away?

  Feeling as though she’d been kicked in the stomach, she turned to the boys. Quickly, she told them she would be back very soon, that they were going to have lots of fun playing with all those toys and with Hannah and Will. Then she turned and fled. Timmy was calling her name as she left.

  “Okay,” Ginny said once they were in the van again. “That was awful.”

  Leanne nodded. “Teddy was crying.”

  “He’ll stop. We’ve got the car phone. We’ll call in ten minutes to check on all of them, and I swear, they’ll be fine.” Ginny glanced over at her, then said, “Come on. We’re leaving them for three hours, not three months.”

  “No,” Leanne said. “It’s not that.”

  “What?”

  “I’m not their mother. And I can’t let myself forget that. As wonderful as the past weeks with them have been, it’s not real. It’s not my life.”

  “You love them.” Ginny said.

  Leanne nodded.

  “How can you believe that’s not real?” Ginny argued.

  “I’m lying to myself,” she insisted. “It’s as if I’m playing house with Mitch, pretending this marriage is real and the boys are mine, and I can’t let myself do that. Because I don’t know how in the world I’m going to let them go when this is over.”

  “Leanne, how can you be so sure you’ll have to let them go?”

  “Because Mitch and I have a deal. A year. That’s it. Then I’m supposed to leave.”

  “Mitch is not going to ask you to leave. If you could see the way he looks at you sometimes, you’d know that. Leanne, he’s like a new man. He’s happier than I’ve seen him in...months.”

/>   “Seventeen and a half months, to be exact?” Leanne knew precisely how long it had been. “Since before Kelly died?”

  “Yes.”

  “Kelly’s the one he loved.”

  “That doesn’t mean Mitch can’t love you,” Ginny persisted.

  “No. He’s been kind to me because I’m helping him with the boys and because he’s a kind man. And I think he’s come to care for me, but I could never take Kelly’s place in his heart.”

  “You don’t have to. You’ll make your own place in his heart.”

  “Oh, Ginny, I wish I could.”

  “You can.”

  “No.” Leanne shook her head. “You don’t understand.”

  “Oh, yes, I do.” The van came to a stop in a parking lot at a little café, and Ginny said, “Come on. Shopping’s going to have to wait. I think it’s time I told you about a man named Joe Reed.”

  “Joe Reed?” Leanne climbed out of the van and followed Ginny into the restaurant. “Who’s Joe Reed?”

  “A man I loved very much,” she said cryptically. “One I married. And had a child with.”

  The hostess came to seat them, lingered at the table, telling them about the breakfast specials. Leanne didn’t think the woman would ever leave. Finally, she had a chance to ask, “You have another child somewhere?”

  “No.” Ginny laughed. “It’s Hannah.”

  Leanne didn’t understand. “Hannah’s not—”

  “Careful,” Ginny interrupted. “Marc doesn’t take it well when anyone tries to say he’s not Hannah’s father. He is, in every way that matters to her and to him. We say she has two fathers—Marc and Joe.”

  Stunned. Leanne leaned back into the big booth in which they were seated. “I can’t believe this. I mean, I’ve seen Marc with her and...”

  “I know. I think Marc fell in love with her as quickly as I did.”

  “So you and Marc haven’t been together that long.”

  “Three years,” Ginny said. “Hannah was six months old when we got married, although I’d known Marc since I was a little girl. Leanne, it’s not a secret, just not something you bring up in casual conversation. I wanted to tell you. But I wasn’t sure you were ready to hear it. And I wasn’t sure how you really felt about Mitch until the day of the wedding. Otherwise I would have told you already. It’s strange how many similarities there are in our situations.”

  “Similarities?”

  “Joe and Marc were the best of friends,” she explained. “Marc was practically part of the family, as far as the Reeds were concerned. So you can imagine how they reacted to the news that Marc and I were involved. And that wasn’t nearly as difficult as the way Marc and I felt about getting involved with each other.”

  Leanne didn’t say anything at first. She was too surprised. Marc and Ginny looked like the perfect couple to her. In fact, Leanne had envied her new friend’s happiness as much as her sister’s.

  She would never have guessed Ginny ever had her heart broken, or that Hannah had ever lost a father.

  “And you loved Joe?” Leanne asked.

  “Very much. We were married for ten years. I never imagined I’d so much as kiss another man. I didn’t until Marc came along.”

  Leanne hated to ask the next question, but she desperately wanted to know the answer. “Do you love Marc as much as you loved Joe?” She winced just hearing the words. “I’m sorry. That was awful, I know. But...”

  “How do you measure love?” Ginny asked. “Love is an absolute. It doesn’t come in varying degrees. I loved Joe. I was happy with him. And now I love Marc.”

  The waitress interrupted them again, serving their coffee this time. Leanne took it black, but Ginny doctored hers with cream and sugar. When she was satisfied with the taste, she put her cup down and turned to Leanne.

  “It’s possible to love more than one man. To honestly and truly love two. And to be happy with them both.”

  “So what happened to you and Joe?”

  “He was killed before Hannah was even born. And I was just like Mitch. Devastated. I think the only reason I got through it was that I had to pull myself together enough to take care of Hannah.”

  “That’s amazing. Mitch told me you and Marc were so helpful to him after Kelly died, but he never mentioned what you’d been through.”

  “He’s a wonderful man,” Ginny said. “And I want him to be happy. I want you to be happy, too. You’ve got to believe that can happen for the two of you.”

  “I want to believe it,” Leanne said.

  “After Joe died, I wasn’t looking for anyone else to love. And I certainly never imagined that I could ever be this happy again. But I am. I swear to you, I couldn’t love Marc any more than I do. And I don’t see how my feelings for him in any way diminish what I felt for Joe. Now, I’ll admit I didn’t always feel that way. Marc and I have battled our share of guilt, and Joe’s family had a hard time accepting that Marc and I were going to be together. But we worked through all that. You and Mitch can, too.”

  “I want that, Ginny. I want to be Mitch’s wife, not because he needs me or the boys need me, but because he loves me.”

  “You are his wife, and he and the boys do need you. You’re living in his house, and you’re sleeping in his bed every night. I think he’s half in love with you already. You couldn’t be in a better position to get what you want.”

  “So what do I do?” Leanne asked.

  “When you find every bit of happiness you’ve ever imagined right in front of you?”

  Leanne nodded.

  “Happiness is a gift. A rare and wondrous gift. You get down on your knees and thank God for it, and then you reach out and take it.”

  “I wish it could be that simple.”

  “Leanne, I don’t think anything happens by accident. I believe you’re here for a reason, that Mitch and the boys desperately needed someone—that you did, too. And now the four of you are together, and it’s working. How can you think it wasn’t meant to be?”

  “I don’t know. I never viewed it that way. I have this bad habit of expecting the worst of everything, at least when it comes to my personal life. And I’m usually not disappointed.” Leanne thought about how much she’d just admitted, how sad it was, how true. “I’ve been so sure I wouldn’t get what I wanted that I never imagined Mitch and I were meant to be together.”

  Leanne sighed and leaned her head back against the booth. “I do love him.”

  Ginny put her hand over Leanne’s. “And he’s going to love you. Wait and see.”

  Chapter 13

  Something was wrong with Leanne. Mitch knew from the minute he came home that evening. But she didn’t want to tell him about it.

  He played with the boys for a while, and she went out for a run. He didn’t like that, because it was getting dark when she left, and even though the neighborhood was safe, a woman alone couldn’t be too careful.

  When he’d said he didn’t like her running alone after dark she’d looked surprised at first, then had told him she could take care of herself. So he’d held his temper and watched her walk out the door.

  Mitch felt the tension seeping into his body as she disappeared into the darkness. He was angry at himself for letting her go, angry at her for so blatantly ignoring her own safety this way.

  And he was scared, scared she wouldn’t come back.

  How would he feel if she didn’t?

  The boys demanded his attention right then, and he worked quickly to get them ready for bed, then to convince them to stay in their crib long enough to actually fall asleep. Now that they could climb out, bedtime had turned into a big game.

  All the while, Mitch kept glancing at his watch and waiting for the sound of the front door opening so he would know Leanne was back. Nearly an hour had passed. Normally, she was back in forty-five minutes.

  Mitch closed the door to the boys’ room for what he hoped was the last time, then went downstairs. Hastily searching the house, he saw she wasn’t there. He swore
softly, then headed for the front door. Looking down the block to the right, then the left, he realized he’d never even asked her what path she took.

  How could he have been so careless with her safety not to find out?

  In something close to a panic, he called Marc and Ginny’s house. Ginny answered the phone. Quickly, he told her what happened, then asked if she or Marc could come over and sit with the boys while he went out to look for Leanne. Ginny agreed to send Marc over, and then Mitch asked if anything had happened that day to upset Leanne.

  “Well, I told her about Joe.”

  “She didn’t know?” Mitch was surprised. Leanne and Ginny had gotten very close.

  “Well, it just never came up.”

  Mitch thought there must be more to it than that. “Why would hearing about you and Joe upset her?”

  Ginny hesitated. “Mitch, I think you should ask her about that.”

  “All right. When I find her, I will,” he said.

  He heard a knock on the door, hoped it was Leanne and she’d forgotten her key. But it was Marc.

  “Ginny, Marc’s here and I’m going to go now.” He hung up the phone.

  Marc stood there for a minute, staring at his friend, then asked, “What’s wrong?”

  “Leanne went out for a run, and she should have been back twenty minutes ago.”

  “That’s it? You look like you could chew nails right now.”

  “It’s dark, she’s alone and she’s late. That’s not reason enough to be worried?”

  “I didn’t say you shouldn’t be worried. I just thought something else was going on.”

  “I want her back safe.” He grabbed his jacket, his keys, his cell phone. “Call me if she shows up.”

  “Sure.”

  “And if the boys get out of that crib, throw them right back in it and threaten them with some dire consequences if they climb out before morning.”

  “Threaten little children? I can do that,” Marc said, closing the door behind Mitch.