One Step at a Time

by Beryl Matthews

  Once out of sight of the house, John screeched to a halt, jumped out, a penknife already in his hand, and cut off the notice and the cans.

  Amy joined him, almost helpless with laughter, and began removing the ribbons.

  When the car looked respectable again, John grinned at her. ‘Well, Mrs Sterling, everyone’s going to know we’re just married. You’re covered in the stuff.’

  ‘So are you.’ She reached up and began to pick bits out of his hair. ‘And I don’t care who knows. It was a wonderful wedding, and I’m so very happy to be Mrs Sterling.’

  ‘Oh, my lovely girl.’ He gathered her into his arms. ‘I must have done something really good in this life to have deserved you.’

  ‘Me too,’ she murmured, holding on tightly.

  He held her away so he could look into her eyes. ‘Let’s forget about the confetti and go on honeymoon. I can’t wait to make love with you.’

  ‘Nor me.’

  They scrambled back in the car, not caring about the mess, eager to get away so they could be alone at last.

  ‘We’re going to the Isle of Wight?’ Amy couldn’t contain her excitement as John drove on to the ferry. ‘Have you been there? What’s it like?’

  ‘Small.’ He helped her out of the car. ‘Come on, let’s go on deck.’

  ‘I’m gasping for a cup of tea.’ Her mouth was dry after the champagne, though in truth she hadn’t drunk much. Seeing Ben with that gleam of devilment in his eyes had been enough to make her careful and not overdo it. But she hadn’t eaten either, and now her stomach felt quite empty. ‘And perhaps a sandwich?’

  ‘I expect they’ve got something, but if not it’s only a short journey. We can find a café in Shanklin.’

  Amy had never been on a boat before and rushed to the rail, fascinated by the sea. No matter how desperate she was for a cup of tea, John couldn’t persuade her inside.

  Watching the different colours as the boat carved its way through the small waves, she couldn’t help thinking of her father. Was this how he’d felt about the sea, longing to sail away again after only a couple of weeks at home? She closed her eyes for a moment, realizing that the horror of his hanging no longer caused her pain, only sadness that it should have happened to him. She had taken another step forward by letting go of the past.

  ‘You’re very quiet, darling.’ John bent his head to look at her. ‘What are you thinking about?’

  ‘The sea is very beautiful and I was wondering if my father felt a love for it.’

  ‘I expect he did.’ He pulled her close. ‘Does it still hurt?’

  ‘No.’ She smiled. ‘No it doesn’t. It was terrible, but I’ve moved on now.’

  ‘Good.’ John pointed ahead. ‘Look, we’re coming into dock.’

  ‘Oh, so soon!’ Everything else was pushed out of her mind in the excitement of seeing a new place. She sighed blissfully. So many new things to see and experience, and all with the man she adored. She had thought she might be apprehensive about their first night together, but she wasn’t. There wouldn’t be anything to worry about with John, and she couldn’t wait to be his wife in every way.

  As soon as the boat had docked, they drove off and made for a café right on the seafront. There they had a pot of tea and cakes. With her thirst quenched at last, they got back in the car. John headed a little way along the coast and stopped at a small whitewashed hotel.

  She beamed at him. ‘Are we staying here?’

  He nodded. ‘What do you think of it?’

  ‘Oh, it’s pretty, and right by the sea.’

  ‘One of the doctors at the hospital recommended it. He said it was comfortable and the food was excellent.’

  They tried to brush off most of the confetti before checking in, but there were still little pieces clinging to them. Amy decided that, as soon as she could, she would find an envelope and put some in as a souvenir of this special day.

  The inside of the hotel was bright, homely and not too grand, she was pleased to see. It was all right for John, but this was new to her. While he was signing the register, she peered through a door at the dining room. The tables were beautifully set out for dinner with spotless white tablecloths and a small vase of flowers on each one.

  A man came from behind the desk and picked up their cases, his lips twitching when a couple of small silver horseshoes fell off them. ‘I’ll show you to your room, Dr and Mrs Sterling.’

  He led them up two flights of stairs and to the end of a short corridor. He opened a door and waited for them to enter. ‘There you are, sir. A nice quiet room for you, and there’s a bathroom next door.’

  ‘Thank you.’ John’s gaze swept around the room. ‘This will do very nicely.’

  ‘I’m sure you will be very comfortable, and if there’s anything you need, please ask.’ He put the cases beside the bed.

  Amy watched John give him a tip, and as soon as the door had closed and they were alone, John reached for her.

  ‘Come and kiss me before I die of frustration.’

  She rushed into his arms, just as eager, and in no time at all they were naked and on the bed, lost in the need and passion for each other.

  Making love was even more wonderful than she had imagined. As this was her first time, John tried to take it slowly, but she felt only pleasure. When this became obvious, all restraint was abandoned.

  Wrapped in his arms afterwards, she sighed and smiled up at him.

  He kissed her nose, pulling a face. ‘Oh, damn, I meant to take it easy and leave it until after dinner. I had it all planned. A nice relaxing meal, then a stroll along the seafront before returning to our room, where I was going to undress you slowly, then lay you on the bed and love you. Instead of that, as soon as we were alone, all my plans were forgotten, because I love you so much, my darling.’

  ‘I’m glad you didn’t wait. It was lovely.’ She peered at his watch. ‘What time is dinner? I’m starving.’

  They stretched out on the bed, completely at ease with each other, and laughed as John told her he was ravenous as well.

  It was a perfect start to the honeymoon, and their life together.

  26

  For four days they didn’t give the war a thought, refusing to listen to the radio or buy newspapers, but as soon as they arrived back home, reality rushed in.

  ‘They’ve joined up,’ Mrs Dalton said when they were all sitting down with a cup of tea in front of them.

  Howard stirred sugar into his tea. ‘We told you that’s what we were going to do.’

  ‘I know.’ Mrs Dalton looked sad. ‘But I was hoping you would wait a bit longer.’

  Ben shrugged. ‘No point, they’ll get us eventually, and this way we can go in together and, hopefully, stay in the same unit.’

  Amy gazed at them, worry gnawing at her, and whispered, ‘I’m going to miss you. When are you leaving?’

  ‘In three weeks.’ Ben frowned. ‘Will you be letting our rooms, Mrs Dalton?’

  ‘Certainly not!’ She was scandalized. ‘This is your home, and the rooms will be there for you whenever you want them. I know you’ll be spending time with your parents when you’re on leave, but everything will be just as you’ve left it.’

  ‘That’s good of you.’ Howard leant over and kissed her cheek, making her glow with pleasure. ‘It will be a comfort to know this is all still waiting for us.’

  ‘It isn’t a question of being good.’ She tried to pretend she wasn’t touched by the gesture of affection. ‘You are all my family.’

  ‘What are you going to join?’ John asked.

  ‘Army.’ Ben smiled at Amy and then glanced back to John. ‘You mind you take good care of our little girl while we’re away.’

  ‘You can be sure of that.’

  ‘What are we going to do about the shop?’ Amy couldn’t imagine not having the boys around all the time. Why did there have to be a war when everything was so perfect? Emotion clogged the back of her throat.

  ‘The lease runs out in a few we
eks and it won’t be worth renewing it.’ Ben pushed his hair away from his eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Amy, I know how you love the shop, but we’ve got to put our plans on hold for a while. And you’ve got a husband to look after you now.’

  ‘And when the war’s over we’ll open a bigger and better shop.’ Howard pursed his lips. ‘This is only a temporary setback.’

  ‘Of course it is.’ Mrs Dalton turned to John. ‘And you needn’t worry about Amy being on her own in the shop, because I’ll help to close it down.’

  ‘Thank you, Mrs Dalton, that is a relief to know. And what about you, Ted?’

  ‘I’ve already joined the ARP, and I’m going to try and keep my bookshop going.’ Ted’s expression was grim. ‘Got to do something to help.’

  ‘And I’m joining the WVS – Women’s Voluntary Service.’ Mrs Dalton had a determined air about her. ‘They need drivers, Amy, so would you consider it as well? With John’s permission, of course.’

  ‘Well, I’d like to do something.’ She curled her fingers around John’s hand. ‘What do you think, darling? I won’t if you don’t want me to.’

  ‘I think it’s a good idea. I shall be working shifts at the hospital, and without the shop you’ll want something to do, won’t you?’

  Amy nodded and smiled her thanks.

  ‘Right, that’s settled then.’ Mrs Dalton bustled around clearing the table. ‘Now we’ve all got something useful to do for the war effort. Let’s hope it doesn’t last too long.’

  ‘Amen to that,’ they all muttered.

  When the time came to say goodbye to Ben and Howard, Amy hugged them, refusing to cry. There were families doing this all over the country at the moment. Children were being evacuated and sons and fathers were joining the forces. It had to be accepted as a way of life now, hard though it was.

  ‘I’ll keep everything clean and tidy for you to come back to.’

  ‘Not too tidy.’ Howard grinned. ‘It won’t look like home if you do.’

  ‘Don’t you take any chances, Amy.’ Ben gave her a stern look. ‘If things get rough at any time, you are to stay in the shelter.’

  ‘I promise, and you be careful as well, both of you.’

  Ben suddenly laughed. ‘I don’t know why we’re making all this fuss. We’ve got basic training first and then we’ll be home on leave. I’m leaving my car for you to use, if you can get petrol. That’s bound to be one of the first things to become scarce.’

  John managed to arrive before the train left, so they were all there to see them off. They waved until the train was out of sight.

  The next two weeks flew by, but it was a sad time for Amy as she packed up the unsold items in the shop and took them back to the house. The pictures were stacked in Ben’s studio, and she couldn’t help wondering how long it would be before he was back, standing by the easel, brush in hand and a frown of concentration on his face. The sculptures and pots were carefully packed in boxes and piled in the corner of Howard’s workshop. Gazing around the empty room, Amy sighed deeply. What happy times they had spent in here. She was going to miss them both dreadfully. How glad she was to have John, and know that he wouldn’t be going into the forces.

  That evening she sat down and wrote a letter to Ben and Howard. It was still difficult for her to do, but she knew they understood about the mistakes, which wouldn’t worry them at all. John was working nights for the next week and she couldn’t settle without him beside her, so it didn’t matter how long it took her. Mrs Dalton would do the envelopes for her in the morning.

  With the shop now closed, Amy and Mrs Dalton joined the WVS; as she was a driver, Amy was given a huge welcome.

  ‘You’re just what we need. Come with me.’ Mrs Porter, a woman of imposing stature who was very expert at giving orders, sailed out of the hall they used as a meeting place and stopped by a battered old van. ‘We’re going to convert this into a tea wagon. Think you can drive it?’

  ‘Erm…’ Amy looked up at her face and didn’t dare refuse. ‘Yes, of course.’

  ‘Splendid! Run it round the block and see how it feels.’ After thrusting the keys in Amy’s hand, she sailed off again on some other errand of importance.

  ‘Shall I come with you?’ Mrs Dalton had pinned her badge on to her coat and was wearing it with pride.

  ‘Please.’

  After pulling the seat as far forward as it would go, Amy just managed to reach the pedals. She then started the engine and edged her way, very cautiously, up the road. Much to her relief it wasn’t as difficult as she’d feared, and she was grinning with confidence by the time they arrived back at the hall.

  ‘Well done!’ Mrs Dalton climbed out. ‘Ben would be proud of you.’

  ‘I hope they come and see us when they’re on leave and don’t spend all their time with their parents.’

  ‘They will, my dear. Our house is home to them, and they’re bound to want to spend a few days with us. They’ll be eager to get at the paints and pots again after being away.’

  ‘Of course they will.’ Amy walked back into the hall with Mrs Dalton. ‘I miss them so much.’

  ‘We all do. Will John be home tonight?’

  ‘Yes, thank goodness, and he will be on days for the next two weeks.’

  ‘That’s something to look forward to then.’

  Amy nodded. It certainly was. During the day she could keep busy, but the nights dragged when John wasn’t there. It was amazing how quickly she had become used to having him beside her, and the thrill of having him reach for her in the night to love, or just hold in his arms. She loved being married to him, and wished sometimes that he didn’t have to work such long hours. But she was being selfish. Many women didn’t know when they were going to see their husbands again. She was very aware of this and was careful to be grateful for every second they could spend together.

  For the rest of the afternoon they had lessons on First Aid, how to make tea in the large urns, and all sorts of information deemed useful for when the fighting began.

  On arriving home, they found Ted in the kitchen, reading a newspaper and wearing a tin hat and an armband with ‘ARP’ on it. They both burst out laughing at the comical sight.

  ‘What’s so funny?’ he asked, his lips twitching with amusement.

  ‘Why are you wearing a tin hat indoors?’ Amy spluttered again.

  ‘I’m just trying it out for size, and I’m about to go out on fire-watching duty.’

  ‘But there aren’t any fires.’

  ‘Not yet, Mrs Dalton, but we’ve got to be prepared.’ He winked at them. ‘We’ve got a dartboard though, and I’m getting quite good.’

  John arrived then. ‘Good Lord, is there a raid on?’

  ‘He’s got to be prepared.’ Amy giggled and wrapped her arms around her husband. Nothing much seemed to be happening with this war, and it was easy to make light of it after the concern at first. ‘Finished for the day?’

  ‘Hmm.’ He whispered in her ear: ‘A whole night together, but first I must eat. I’m starving.’

  ‘It won’t take me long to get dinner. The casserole only needs warming through while I cook some potatoes.’ Amy put the vegetables in a bowl and glanced at Ted and Mrs Dalton. ‘Do I cook for four?’

  ‘Not for me, Amy.’ Ted picked up his gas mask. ‘I’m off for the night.’

  ‘I’m not stopping either. You two have some time on your own.’ Mrs Dalton left with Ted.

  *

  When they’d eaten and washed up, they went into the sitting room to listen to the wireless for a while, and tell each other what they had been doing. John always wanted to know everything she had done and he told her about some of the funny things that happened at the hospital, leaving out all the distressing parts of his job.

  Sitting comfortably on the settee, John pulled her towards him and gave a deep sigh of contentment.

  ‘Tired?’ she asked, looking up at him.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Oh, good.’ She snuggled close and listened to the dee
p rumble in his chest as he chuckled.

  ‘Christmas is only seven weeks away and I was wondering what this year will be like. Everything is so uncertain, isn’t it?’

  ‘It is, my darling.’ John squeezed her shoulder. ‘And it’s most unlikely that Ben and Howard will be here, so we can spend Christmas with my parents, if you like? I should be able to get a couple of days off.’

  ‘That would be nice, but I wouldn’t like to leave Ted and Mrs Dalton on their own.’

  ‘What about one day with my parents and one day here?’

  ‘That would be perfect.’ Amy hugged him. ‘You’re such a sensible man.’

  ‘I know. That’s why I married you.’

  She nibbled his ear. ‘Let’s go to bed.’

  27

  The New Year came in quietly, and by March 1940 everyone was calling it the phoney war. Quite a few of the children who had been evacuated to the country were returning, homesick for their families and the familiar streets of London. City-born and -bred, many of them found the open countryside a strange place. But Amy didn’t care how phoney the war was. All those she loved were safe, and that was the most important thing to her. Two weeks ago Ben and Howard had arrived home on embarkation leave, and they’d had the most riotous party to send them on their way. No one knew exactly where they were going, of course, as troop movements were kept secret, but it was almost certain they were joining the British Expeditionary Force in France. They looked wonderful in their uniforms, and Amy had disgraced herself by sniffling as she’d hugged them before they had boarded the train. She had told herself that she wasn’t going to cry, but hadn’t been able to help it. Mrs Dalton had been dabbing her eyes as well.

  John was still working long hours and after a busy night would come home exhausted and collapse into bed to sleep, but he soon recovered. After a long shift like that though, they always had a couple of days together. They were blissfully happy and every day she counted her blessings for having such a wonderful husband – and in-laws. John’s parents were frequent visitors to the Chelsea house now, and she and John went to them for lunch whenever John had the time off. Amy loved them; it was no wonder John was such a lovely person with parents like that. As soon as the war was over they were planning to have a large family, and John’s mother and father didn’t hide their wish to have grandchildren.