Mr. So Wrong

by R. C. Stephens

  “Nothing to say? Well that’s okay.” She sighs.

  “You can get back to your man, Leslie. I’ll hang out here awhile longer and nurse this beer slowly.” I grin. She’s a good friend to Sam. It’s a far cry from the environment I grew up in. Colton’s probably the only person I know that isn’t competing with me or trying to hurt me. That says a whole lot about me. I don’t have people to count on like Sam does. The thought twists my stomach and that self-loathing I’ve been feeling for months begins to resurface.

  “Sure.” Leslie gets up from the barstool and pats my back. “Hope to see you around, Al.” She walks away. Her words tell me she’s okay having me around. I don’t know if Farmer Joe or even Sam feel that way, but I hope they want me around awhile longer. I’m not ready to leave.

  “You too, Leslie.” I take another long pull off my beer, and my mind pulls me back to my childhood. I’ve been thinking of the past a lot lately, wondering where I went wrong, pondering how the family that raised me doesn’t want to reach out and fix things. As usual, I have no answers. In the decade that passed, nothing has changed. Well, maybe that isn’t true. I’ve changed and I am changing. I’m not happy being the person I am and being here in Holston and watching how the whole town is coming up to bat for Sam drives that idea home even more. Deep down I know I’m at a crossroads. I just don’t realize what it all means.

  Chapter Twelve

  Sam

  Eight years ago

  “Sam, wake the hell up.” Mack’s voice sounds loud and intrusive, so I take a pillow and cover my head. “For crying out loud, get up. I need to drop you off at school. I can’t be late. You’re being so unfair right now,” she whines. It’s darn annoying.

  “Just go to school and let me sleep,” I manage to croak out.

  “No chance, darling.” She huffs.

  The blankets are thrown off me. A cold chill runs over my body, and I curl into a little ball. My bed sinks beside me as Mack sits right next to me.

  “I don’t know what to do. I know you’ve had a hard time, but I can’t let you just throw your life away.” She sounds completely resigned and it makes me feel bad. She basically has taken on the role of being my mother, and she’s only twenty years old.

  Instead of going away to college, she attends a college in Grand Junction. It’s a far cry from her first choice, but she didn’t want to leave me here alone with Papa. I’m grateful for Mack, I truly am, but I’m completely exhausted. She leans forward and before I can move out of the way, she presses her nose into my hair.

  “Dammit, Mack,” I growl. I don’t mean it, but she puts me on defense.

  “You smell like pot.” She sighs. “I told you Blake was a bad influence. I saw it from the minute he walked in here. I wish you could see it. Mama wouldn’t want a guy like that for you,” she says, and her words burn through my heart because I know they’re true.

  Problem is I like the way Blake makes me feel. We get high a little and laugh a little. He makes me forget my life for a while and makes me feel good. That can’t be a bad thing.

  “Don’t start. I’m not marrying the guy,” I bark, and it’s not a lie. I won’t ever marry a guy like Blake.

  “Why don’t you date the Neumann boy … what’s his name?” She taps her chin with her pointer finger.

  “Austin, and he’s not my type.”

  Her lip quirks on one corner. “Right. What was I thinking?” Her tone is full of sarcasm. “Why would my baby sister want to date a nice boy from a good family? One that isn’t two years older than her and smokes pot and who knows what else? Yeah, that would be so bad, Sam.” She shakes her head at me and the gesture drips with the disappointment she feels.

  She made good on her promise to Mama and is attending college. She wants to be an attorney, and she’s told me numerous times that once she gets into law school, she’s leaving no matter what. That’s over a year away, so I’ve just pushed it to the back of my mind.

  “Well, you should make Austin your type. His brother has gone off to Yale. Do you know what that is, Sam? That’s an Ivy League college. That’s big time. A kid like Austin could be a good influence on you,” Mack continues. It seems like the only thing she does these days is lecture me. I wish she could just act like my sister.

  “I’ll think on it,” I answer just to appease her.

  “Great. Now get your butt up because I don’t want to be late for class and neither should you. Your math teacher left a message that you failed the last math test. I need you to do better, Sam,” Mack berates me.

  Since Mama died, all I feel is sad. She was my world. My sun and moon. When she died the sun stopped shining and even when the moon came out it was dark without the sun. I just couldn’t seem to find myself without her. I don’t know why. My marks in school have been affected. My whole darn life is affected.

  “I know, okay.” It comes out a lot snarkier than I’d like. Mack is trying to follow through on her promise to Mama that she’d take care of me. I don’t mean to be difficult. I truly don’t.

  “Please come home after school and do homework this afternoon. No Blake. Okay?”

  I have a hard time saying no to Mack. “Okay,” I relent. Problem is the follow-through later on.

  After we’re all dressed and have eaten a quick breakfast, Mack drops me off in front of my high school. By second period, I bump into Blake. He’s a junior and I’m a freshman, so we don’t have any classes together. When he asks me to come over to his house after school, I agree. His mom is a single mom who works at the Walgreens, and she won’t be home. His older brother Gage will be working too. The thought of being alone and kissing Blake causes my blood to pump hard, making me feel alive. I just want to make that feeling last. Is it so bad to want?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Al

  I wait at the bar a whole half hour, pondering my life in the process. Blake’s glare bores into me the entire time. My mind has sucked me into thoughts of my family, so I’m too busy to pay him much attention or feed his anger. I wonder if that’s what I’ve done with Derek. Did I somehow feed his anger unintentionally? Could I have been a better brother to him? Things have always felt so strained between us, I didn’t know he had it out for me so bad.

  After wallowing in my life’s mistakes for a while, I find my way back to the Belmont Ranch and pull up to the long drive out in front of the main house. Sam’s truck is already parked along with another truck, also a Ford, which I assume belongs to Kell and Gage. I lock Farmer Joe’s truck and walk up to the door, which I’ve noticed is never locked. I figure thieves know not to mess with Joe Belmont. I wouldn’t be surprised if he shot a few people in his lifetime. Stepping through the dark kitchen, I’m relieved Farmer Joe isn’t around.

  I trudge back to Sam’s room, figuring she’s passed out in her bed. I come to an abrupt stop when I hear a commotion. I remain quiet and still in the dark hallway, listening to the voices quarrelling. I should feel bad for eavesdropping. This drama-filled night has left me with too many questions about Sam and what the hell I’m still doing in Holston. Maybe I’m still here because I don’t have a place to go. I’m thirty-five fucking years old and lord knows to a certain extent I’ve made the bed I sleep in. Or maybe I’m still here because I like Sam.

  “Come on, honey.” Kell’s soothing voice radiates down the hall from the bathroom.

  “Kell, just give her a quick rinse,” Gage shout whispers. “I did the best I could with her front seat. We need to be gettin’ home,” Gage says and it sounds like he’s in Sam’s room. I gather Kell has Sam in the shower. He also said he did the best he could with her front seat, meaning Sam probably vomited all over the front seat of her car.

  “Gage, you damn well know I’m not leaving her like this,” Kell snaps back. “Even though I feel really nauseous now watching her hurl all over the place,” she whines. I remember her mentioning she was pregnant.

  “If you’re going to throw up, make sure you get it in the toilet,” Gage shouts back
. Shit this was one weird situation I walked into, and Gage sounds like a real charmer.

  “Fuck you,” Kell screams out. Can’t say I blame her.

  The bathroom door swings open. Light floods into the dark hallway. I wince, squinting my eyes. I can’t turn around now or act like I didn’t just hear their entire conversation. Sam has a towel wrapped around her body. I don’t cover my eyes, though, because she’s walked around in a towel since I intruded on her life and even gave me the privilege of showing me her fine backside.

  “Uh …” I stutter. “You need some help?”

  Kell jumps in the air and loses her grip on Sam as she palms her heart. “Fuck, Al, you just scared the living shit out of me.”

  “Sorry,” I answer because I’m a little stunned myself.

  Sam loses her balance and bumps into the wall, falling into a fit of laughter.

  “Guess you heard she vomited in her truck. I hate the smell of vomit. I couldn’t put her to bed like that,” Kell explains. “Maybe it’s best you sleep on the couch tonight,” she says sweetly.

  “Uh … sure, yeah.” I run a hand over my buzzed hair that’s grown since I arrived. I was hoping to sleep beside Sam. I want to take care of her the way she took care of me, with sweet words and a warm touch. I see that isn’t going to happen. I follow the two women into Sam’s room.

  “Hey.” I nod to Gage, who is sitting at the edge of Sam’s bed, looking at something on his cell.

  “Hey, man.” He nods back but the conversation ends. The whole situation makes me uncomfortable. I move through the room swiftly, grabbing a pair of sweatpants and T-shirt out of my suitcase and head into the bathroom that Kell and Sam just came out of. Once I’ve changed, I head over to the couch in the family room and grab one of the throw blankets and lie down. I’m too worked up after everything that happened tonight to get any shut eye.

  Twenty minutes or so later, Kell comes toward the door, holding Gage’s hand.

  I stand and rake a hand through my hair. “Hi. Uh … is she okay?”

  Kell waves her hand. “She’ll be fine. She sometimes drinks a little too much. That’s all. I placed a garbage bin by the bed. There shouldn’t be any more mess. You have yourself a goodnight, Al.” Her tone is saccharine.

  “Yeah, you too,” I mutter, feeling numb and useless. Once they leave, I head back to Sam’s room to check on her. When I reach her door, I hear singing. I pause and listen to the most magnificent voice I’ve ever heard. She’s singing “Somewhere over the Rainbow.” Her voice sounds sweet with a hint of sultry. It’s beautiful and heartbreaking. I wait until she stops, but then she starts another song, and I take a seat on the floor and press my head to the wall and drink in her angelic voice. When she stops singing, I get up and open the door to check on her. I’m pretty sure she’s sleeping.

  Only her soft voice says, “Hi.”

  “Hi,” I answer a little breathless, although I’m not sure why I would be.

  “Would you come lie down with me?” she asks, and all I can think is that she could ask me for anything right now, and I would never say no.

  “Of course.” I slide into bed beside her.

  “Hold me,” she says into the dark.

  I wrap my arms around her and my nose presses into her wet hair that smells like a floral shampoo. I inhale and exhale her scent and it relaxes me.

  “You okay?” I whisper into the dark.

  “Better now,” she answers. Her breathing slows, and I am pretty sure she passes out. Her sweet voice and words ring in my head. Better now.

  “I feel better now too,” I whisper back.

  “Sometimes life turns out in a way you don’t plan,” she says, breaking the silence.

  I huff, even though I don’t mean to. “I know all about that.”

  “Oh yeah?” I hear the interest in her tone. “How’s that?” she asks. She clearly isn’t as drunk as before.

  “It’s a bunch of messed-up shit with my family. I haven’t spoken to them in a long, long time,” I say and my heart feels heavy. Maybe because hanging out with the Belmonts and the people in Holston reminds me of family in general. I can see they have their own problems, but there is love and dedication beneath the craziness.

  “I’m sorry. That isn’t easy. Being separated from your family,” she says, and her sweet voice carries a heaviness that pierces my heart.

  “No, it isn’t easy, Sam. It isn’t easy at all. A part of me is sick of feeling so alone,” I admit, surprising myself because I don’t share intimate parts of my life with a woman. Or anyone for that matter. Sam is easy to talk to. She’s is drawing me in like a fish on a line and all I want to do is swim in her sea.

  “Yeah.” She sighs, and I feel her breath evening out. I press a soft kiss to the back of her head, and I fall asleep, holding her in my arms, feeling a fierce need to never let go.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Al

  Past

  February in Switzerland is fucking cold, which meant no more sneaking off to the forest for parties. Well, except to smoke an occasional joint with a buddy. Tonight, was Brie’s seventeenth birthday. We’d practically been inseparable since the night of the bonfire. She was my girlfriend, but she was also my best friend because we just got each other.

  I went home over Christmas, but there wasn’t anything that stood out about my trip. My father still kept me at arm’s length. Derek has really taken on the role of favorite son. His grades in school were high. He was taking business courses and was even hanging out at the office with my dad. He mentioned coming here to school next year, but Dad didn’t give him a real answer. Izzy was still sweet and loving. She really made my trip home bearable. I spent most of my time taking her Christmas shopping and hanging with friends.

  Brie’s mom came to town and whisked her off to London over the holidays, claiming that things were too intense with the paparazzi back home. Brie said it was her first Christmas without her dad and the worst one ever.

  I continued to prepare everything for my night with Brie. It wasn’t easy sneaking into the girls’ dorm, but Hans and a bunch of my friends were helping me slip through the cracks. My heart beat fast as I used the back entrance to the girls’ dorm and slithered through a receiving area. Getting caught in their dorm could lead to suspension. For some reason, it was more frowned upon than the parties we had in the forest. Probably because sex could lead to babies and the school didn’t want that kind of liability on school property. Brie and I were both virgins, and it was crazy that we’d lasted this long. Neither of us took sex lightly after what we’d seen with our parents.

  Brie’s roommates were in on our plan to spend a few hours of private time tonight together. As they slipped into their neighbor’s dorm, I sneaked into Brie’s.

  She charged me the moment I entered her room, wrapping her thin arms around my neck. “I knew you’d make it.” Her grin was wide, and I wrapped my arms around her waist and pressed my nose into her silky hair. Ah! The scent of fresh strawberries.

  “Of course.” I smiled down at her. “Brought you something.” I released her and took the backpack off my back. I pulled out a Tiffany’s jewelry box.

  “You know I don’t need gifts. I’m just happy we could spend my birthday together.”

  “I know.” I gave her the box. “Open it.” I waited expectantly, wanting to take in her features when she sees the gift.

  She opened the box and took a sharp intake of breath. Her round chocolate brown eyes glistened in the dim room. “It’s perfect. How did you …?”

  “I got it over Christmas break when I was back home. Here, let me help you with it.” I put the necklace around her neck and fixate on her fingers playing with the heart. I wrapped my arms around her waist. “I love you, Brie.” I looked into her eyes and waited. I’d never said it before. My heart beat fast and sweat broke out along my forehead, waiting for her to answer.

  Her breath caught for a moment and my stomach sank. “I love you too.”

  She smash
ed her lips to mine and we kissed passionately. It was hard to stop once we started. Heat furled down my spine, making my cock hard. We’d done just about everything but sex. I walked her toward her bed, and when the backs of her knees connected with the mattress, I lifted her thin frame in my arms and laid her on the bed.

  “You need to eat. You feel too thin,” I said through our heated kisses.

  “Jeez! How can you think of food now?” She was wearing a T-shirt, and I pulled it over her head.

  “I don’t know.” I gave her a quizzical look and laughed at myself before returning my attention to undressing her.

  She laughed and the sound swirled through the air. I loved her laugh.

  We continued to make out.

  I broke the kiss again. “I know we said we’d take things all the way tonight, but we don’t have to.” I lay above her painfully hard. I was still determined not to turn into my asshole father who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. Maybe that was why I stayed a virgin until now. I hadn’t cared for any of the girls I made out with before Brie. She was special.

  “I want to. I love you. This is love. This is not what they do,” she said, and it was the things she said that made me love her more.

  “This is love,” I agree.

  I made love to Brie that night for the first time, and my world came apart. Everything I understood about my family made even less sense because I only wanted her.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Al

  I wake up to find I’m spooning Sam. Her butt is in my crotch. Her short hair brushes against my face. My arm is draped across her body. I’m pretty sure our feet are entwined under the blankets. This is usually the point I realize I have had another insignificant hookup and take off. Not now. Not with her. I want to stay right where I am with my arms wrapped around her and hold her tight. Protect her from this big bad ugly world. There is something that haunts Sam. I see it so clearly in the depths of her blue eyes that at times they seem lifeless. Like she’s given up hope. She may only be twenty-three years old, but she’s seen the hardship of life. That much is clear. And me, well I want to make it all go away. She shifts in my arms and turns her head to look at me.