Thin Crust Killers

by Chris Cavender

  “We have items up for bid besides yours,” I said.

  “Still, I’d rather you pull it. I’ll be happy to make up what you might have lost in bidding, if that’s an issue.”

  “Lincoln, you’re being silly. I’m sure it’s fine.” I leaned toward him and asked, “What exactly is it?”

  “I’m afraid that’s going to be my secret,” he said. “I’ve got the delivery men coming to take it away.”

  “Won’t you give me at least a hint?”

  He stared at me a second, then said, “You really don’t know, do you?”

  “Would I be asking you if I did?”

  “Eleanor, I can’t believe you didn’t peek the second I had it delivered.”

  “You asked me not to, and I told you I’d respect your wishes, even if it did drive me crazy.”

  He bit his lip, then asked, “How about your sister?”

  “I made Maddy swear she wouldn’t look, and you can take her word to the bank.”

  “Thank you for that,” he said. Two men approached us, and after a whispered consultation, they left, without removing his contribution.

  “What made you change your mind?” I asked.

  “You did,” he replied.

  I was about to say something else when Doc Parsons and his wife Angie approached us.

  Doc nodded to me, then turned his attention to Lincoln. “Here’s the medication we discussed,” he said as he handed him a bottle.

  “Thank you,” Lincoln said as he made it disappear.

  “If you need anything else, just call,” Doc Parsons said. “After all, what good is having me on retainer if you don’t use the service every now and then?”

  “Don’t concern yourself with it. I will,” he said, and Doc and Angie left to study the auction donations.

  “What was that all about?” I asked. “Do you really have him on retainer?”

  “He comes to my house for my annual checkups, but I got that out of the way a few weeks ago. I told him his wife didn’t have to come along, but she insisted that she had to assist him every time. I believe she just likes to snoop around my house while I’m coughing for her husband. It’s odd, though.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I heard you read the last name for the plaque while I was standing in back. It never occurred to me before, but the exact time Hank Webber was killed, the doctor and his wife were at my home examining me. I wonder if he’d been closer to the scene if he’d been able to save the security guard. I hate to think I was responsible for his death in some way.”

  “From what I heard from the police, Hank died instantly,” I said, repeating something I’d heard soon after the robbery. “There was nothing anyone could do for him. Lincoln, are you sure about the time and date? There’s no doubt in your mind?”

  “Eleanor, I pride myself on knowing what I’m doing at all times, and I never forget or misremember. Never. That’s part of the reason I made my fortune. Why do you ask?”

  “I’m just curious,” I said.

  “There’s more to it than that, isn’t there?”

  I wasn’t about to tell him that he’d just eliminated two of my one-time suspects in the bank robbery. Or one, I should say. There was no way Angie could have disguised her bulging belly, but I had wondered if Doc Parsons had done it to cover up his indiscretions. Of my original suspects, that meant that it was most likely either Bailey, Steve, or Missy. While it was clear the FBI was satisfied that Trent had done it, I still wasn’t sure.

  The band wound up their last song, and everyone applauded.

  Josh’s friend took to the microphone and said, “We’ll have a table set up by the back door, if anyone is interested in our CD of old-time favorites.”

  No one had asked me for permission to hawk their wares, but they had performed for free, so I probably shouldn’t begrudge them that. I was even happier when he continued by saying, “Half the profits from every sale will go to the auction, so buy them while you can. We’ll be glad to sign them for you, too.”

  The auctioneer had clearly had enough of the sales pitch. He touched a button on his belt that made his microphone live and killed the one on stage. It was a professional-looking rig, looking more like a bumblebee hovering near his lips than a way to amplify his voice. “Folks, welcome, greetings and salutations, hi there and a big howdy to everyone for coming out tonight. We’ve heard all about our worthy cause tonight, so let’s get started.” Dressed in a fancy shirt and pressed blue jeans with cowboy boots, the man was born a quick talker, and as his minions brought items for bidding, he kept a constant patter going to liven up the crowd. Bob was back at his bookkeeping duties, this time collecting money from successful bidders. I was pleased as the prices kept going up on the first item, and Lincoln entered into the bidding war with a grin as his paddle went up in the air again and again.

  I whispered, “Do you really want to pay two hundred dollars for a homemade dinner and an apple pie for dessert from Cynthia Rehnquist?”

  “Of course not, but this is fun,” he said as his paddle bobbed up yet again.

  I put a hand on his arm. “Well, you’re driving her boyfriend to the poor house bidding it up. The poor guy looks like he just lost his last friend.” Tom Higgins was indeed looking as forlorn as I’d ever seen him.

  Lincoln glanced over at him and whistled softly to himself. “What can I do? If I stop now, he’s stuck with the bill.”

  “And if you don’t, he loses major points with his girlfriend. From what I’ve heard around town, Cynthia’s got a tongue like a razor blade, so that’s something that needs to be considered.”

  Lincoln nodded, and I thought I’d gotten through to him, but his paddle went up again as I was looking at Tom.

  He’d finally reached his limit and signaled that he was done bidding, and no one else was foolish enough to go up against a man with such deep pockets, especially for Cynthia’s cooking.

  “Excuse me a second,” he said as he got up to pay for his winning bid. Instead of going to Bob though, he veered off toward Tom. They held a brief conversation, and then both men approached Bob together. Cynthia was clearly confused by the proceedings, but finally ended up leaving with Tom.

  When Lincoln rejoined me, I asked, “What just happened?”

  “I worked out a trade,” he said with a grin.

  “What could Tom possibly have that is worth that kind of money? He’s a mechanic at the service station in town.”

  “I know, and until he pays me back, I’m getting free oil changes for my cars, and he was able to show his girl just how much he cares about her. It’s a win-win for both of us, Eleanor.”

  “Not everyone’s going to be that gracious about losing,” I said.

  “I thought you wanted me to bid,” he said, clearly a little hurt by my comment.

  “I do, but you don’t have to go after everything. Wait until something suits your fancy, and then bid all you want to.”

  “Fine, I can do that,” he said.

  The next item for bid was a weekend spa treatment from SNOWCAP, a luxury spa in the mountains. Maddy had been mysterious about how she’d acquired the donation, and honestly, I hadn’t wanted to ask too many questions.

  Sure enough, Lincoln’s paddle went into the air as soon as the bidding was open. “Lincoln,” I said. “I thought we had an agreement.”

  “What can I say, Eleanor? It sounds good to me.” His paddle went up again, and then I saw Maddy’s going up from across the room.

  “My sister’s bidding on it too,” I said.

  “Then I won’t raise my paddle again,” he said.

  “Are you crazy? Don’t let her just have it,” I whispered.

  He turned to look at me, forgetting for the moment all about the auction. “You’re a lot more complicated than you appear at first glance.”

  “Aren’t we all?”

  The auctioneer was winding up, and on an impulse, I raised my own paddle in the air.

  Maddy took that moment t
o speak in a clear voice over the silent crowd, “Don’t bid against me, you nit. I’m going to take you if I win.”

  Everyone in the place erupted in laughter, and I slumped back into my seat as she topped me one last time. It was declared sold soon enough, and the auctioneer couldn’t get to the next item fast enough for me.

  Everything went smoothly until the dinner Maddy and I were offering came up for bid. “This fine meal is being provided by our sponsor,” the auctioneer said, “so let’s open our wallets as much as they’ve opened their hearts. Let’s start the bidding at one hundred dollars.”

  Lincoln’s paddle went up before the auctioneer could finish the bid.

  “Don’t do this for me,” I said.

  “I’m not,” Lincoln replied. “I’m doing it for me. How else am I going to get you to go on a date with me?”

  “Sorry, but I’m not part of the deal,” I said.

  Someone raised it to one fifty, and Lincoln paused to call out, “Two,” as he raised his paddle again.

  “Are you telling me you won’t join me if I win? Is that really in the spirit of the evening?”

  “I never made any promises,” I said.

  “And I’m not asking for one. It’s just dinner, Eleanor.”

  “Fine,” I said, “but that’s all it is.”

  Someone else bid two fifty, and I finally realized that Bob was bidding, no doubt so he could take Maddy. What was wrong with these men? Lincoln didn’t have a chance of wooing me, and Maddy’s heart was most likely already won over, though she wasn’t ready to admit it to the world yet.

  Lincoln raised his paddle, then announced, “One thousand dollars.”

  The auctioneer looked at him to be sure he wasn’t kidding, but before he could say a word, Bob said, “Two thousand.”

  “Five thousand,” Lincoln said.

  “Stop it,” I commanded. “You’re embarrassing me.”

  “Any other woman would be pleased,” he said.

  “Well, I’m not any other woman.”

  Lincoln nodded and dropped his paddle into his lap. “I’m just starting to get that. Fine. I won’t bid again.”

  “There’s no need,” I said as I saw Bob shrug towards Maddy. It was clear he was dropping out of the war.

  “I’m not even going to count this one down,” the auctioneer said. “Sold, to the man in front. Sir, I hope that meal is worth it.”

  “Every penny of it,” Lincoln said, and the crowd laughed. He looked surprised by the applause as he wrote out a check, but more than a little pleased with the positive attention.

  When he got back to his seat, I said, “I don’t know what you’re expecting, but I can’t imagine it’s worth that kind of money.”

  “It is to me,” he said.

  I decided to drop it, at least for the moment.

  I saw Art Young step into the hall as his item was next to go up on the auction block. He caught my gaze and signaled to me.

  “Will you excuse me for one minute?” I asked.

  “Of course, just as long as you’re back in time for my item.”

  I got up and made my way to Art. “I didn’t think you were going to make it.”

  “I was involved in some business that I couldn’t wrap up,” he said. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to bid on anything. I was going to raise my paddle for your dinner, but your date looked determined to win it.”

  “Lincoln? He’s not my date.”

  Art just shrugged in response.

  “He’s not,” I insisted.

  “Fine, he’s not. Do you need me to buy my item to help your cause, or have you already met your goal?”

  I laughed, and he asked, “What’s so funny?”

  “I was going to bid on my dinner at the pizzeria just in case no one else did.”

  Art smiled. “I suppose we’re all a little insecure sometimes, aren’t we?”

  “I’m glad to know that it’s not just me.”

  As they brought Art’s donation to the front, he said, “You don’t have to stay back here and babysit me. I know what this town thinks of me, and I’d hate to sully your reputation.”

  I knew Art lived on the outside of the law at times, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t be my friend. I said, “Now I’m disappointed in you.”

  “Why is that?” He looked honestly surprised by my statement.

  “I stand by my friends,” I said. “And you should know that by now.”

  Art looked chastened, and I wondered what his employees would think about it if they could see him now. “I apologize.”

  “Just don’t let it happen again,” I said as they unveiled his offering up front.

  Underneath the tarp was a beautiful marble fountain. It must have cost a fortune.

  “You shouldn’t have,” I said.

  “Please, it was my pleasure.”

  The bidding started at two hundred dollars, but I noticed that Lincoln’s paddle stayed in his lap. At three hundred, Art surprised me and lifted his own paddle to bid.

  “You don’t have to do that,” I said.

  “I’ve got a plan.”

  The bidding went up to seven hundred dollars, and sure enough, Art bought the fountain he’d donated in the first place.

  Before I could say anything, Art announced to the crowd, “I’d like to donate my purchase to the city of Timber Ridge, with one condition.”

  The auctioneer took command, and asked, “What is it?”

  “I’d like it to be placed on the promenade near The Slice of Delight, so everyone can enjoy it.”

  There was a round of muted applause, and the auctioneer smiled. “I’m sure that can be arranged.”

  “That was sweet of you,” I said, “but I still think you’re crazy for doing it.”

  “Let me have my little gestures.” He glanced up front and saw Lincoln turned in his chair, still looking at us. “I think your friend misses you.”

  “I promised him I’d sit with him.” Purely on impulse, I kissed Art’s cheek, and was surprised to see him actually blush.

  “What was that for?”

  “For your kindness tonight,” I said.

  He looked flustered, then Art dug his checkbook out and said, “I’d better go pay for this. Good night, Eleanor. And thank you.”

  “The thanks are all mine,” I said.

  I came back to my chair, and Lincoln asked, “What was that all about?”

  “What do you mean?”

  He started to say something—I could see the first word forming on his lips—but he decided in the end to stay silent.

  It was a good instinct. I knew that Art was less than an ideal citizen of Timber Ridge, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t appreciate a selfless act when I saw one. If anyone else had a problem with that, they’d better not mention it to me.

  We were down to the last item when Lincoln’s contribution came up.

  The auctioneer said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve come close to the end of our evening with a mystery donation. With your permission, I’ll unveil it now.”

  Every eye in the room was riveted to the front as the auctioneer pulled back the cover.

  Underneath it, we all looked in stunned silence as we saw the plaque Greg had so carefully sketched come to life from the page. It was perfect, an image in brass mounted to a marble pedestal with the names already engraved just as I’d read them.

  The auctioneer looked a little puzzled. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought this was the purpose of the evening.”

  He looked at me, then he asked from the stage, “Eleanor, would you mind coming up here and explaining it?”

  Lincoln looked puzzled by the reaction. He whispered to me, “I thought this was what you wanted. Donating the plaque just made sense.”

  “Lincoln, you don’t understand. You’ve made everything we’ve done up to now pointless.”

  The crowd was starting to murmur when he said, “You’ve got to fix this for me.”

  “I’ll try,”
I said. After another few seconds to collect my breath, I took the stage. The mike was dead at first, and instead of being upset about it, I was glad that it bought me some time. I had to come up with something, but I wasn’t sure what I was going to say until I opened my mouth.

  “Folks, this is a gesture beyond any of my expectations.” I looked around the hall and saw Greg and Josh watching me from the sidelines, and that’s when inspiration struck with the urgency of a lightning storm. “Since one of the members of our community has stepped in to make this dream come true tonight, I propose that we take the money we’ve raised here and create a scholarship for a deserving local student in honor of the names inscribed on this plaque. I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of a better way to honor those who have given so much for all of us.”

  At first only Maddy applauded, but soon the crowd joined in, and before I knew it, the place was filled with joyous noise.

  I got off the stage the second I could, and the auctioneer dismissed us with a heartfelt farewell.

  “I don’t know how you did it, Eleanor, but you somehow saved me,” Lincoln said as folks started towards him to congratulate him on such a thoughtful donation.

  “I did, didn’t I?” I said with a grin.

  He was soon lost in a crowd of strangers, all of them wanting to shake his hand, but if Lincoln minded the attention, he didn’t show it.

  Maddy touched my arm and pulled me away. “Did you know about this beforehand?”

  “Are you kidding me? He must have gotten the list from the library. I’m as stunned as everyone else is.”

  Maddy studied me for a few seconds, and then nodded her head. “You made it work, though. Nice job.”

  “Hey, it’s all for a good cause, wouldn’t you say?”

  We both looked around the room as folks were starting to file out.

  Maddy said, “I still can’t believe we did all of this.”

  “With more than a little help from everyone else in Timber Ridge,” I said.

  “Still, it was something, wasn’t it? Joe would have been proud of you.”

  I hugged my sister. “He would have been proud of you, too.”

  “Thanks.” Maddy nodded, then she said, “I’d better go find Bob. Kevin Hurley’s giving him a police escort tonight, and they’ve agreed to open the bank so he can put all of that money somewhere safe. Can you imagine the uproar if someone robbed him on the way?”