Reality Wedding

by Laura Heffernan

  Birdie had to be okay. She was young and healthy, and the baby had been fine earlier. They had to be okay. I sent up a thousand silent prayers to whatever deities I could think of that mother and baby would pull through whatever went wrong.

  Only the ticking clock on the wall filled the silence. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. Maybe if I remained perfectly still, everything would be all right. Stupid, but all I could do was hope.

  An eternity passed before the door swung open. Shannon’s head poked through the crack. “False alarm. Someone pushed the wrong button. They say it happens all the time. Everything’s okay. We have a baby! She’s fucking gorgeous, just like her mom.”

  The entire hallway whooshed with the sigh Rachel and I uttered at those words. Finally, I remembered how to breathe. My heartbeat returned to normal.

  We jumped up to hug Shannon, but she’d already disappeared back into the room. Instead, Rachel and I embraced each other. Tears flowed down my face. If we’d lost Birdie or the baby because she’d traveled to LA for my stupid faux wedding, I never would have forgiven myself.

  Half an hour later, an exhausted Shannon stumbled past on her way to the cafeteria and said one of us could go in to see Birdie.

  “I didn’t get you a wedding gift,” Rachel said. “You go first. And congratulations?”

  “If I have to marry Logan, I want a real gift,” I said. “Like arsenic or karate lessons to keep him away.”

  Inside the room, a sweaty, smiley Birdie gazed lovingly at a tiny, blanket-wrapped bundle in her arms. I peeked at the little red face poking out. Long lashes lay across her checks as the baby slept. She had a few wispy red hairs. Shannon was right: completely gorgeous.

  “Hey,” I said. “Thanks for getting me out of an awkward moment back there. Way to keep me from rehearsing to marry a stranger.”

  “I’m such a good friend.”

  “The best.” I crept toward the bed, afraid I’d break her, or the baby, if I got too close. “Can I hug you?”

  “You better. What are you doing here, anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be starring in a TV show or something?”

  I grinned at her. “I’m headed back to get my beauty rest in a few minutes, Mom. But I figured, since you’re bailing on my wedding last-minute, the least you can do is let me be one of the first to meet your little bundle of joy.”

  “Right. I broke my water weeks early because I was afraid the Network would make me wear that peach monstrosity after all. #TrueFriend.”

  Instead of answering, I leaned down and hugged her. Birdie cradled the baby in her arms. She didn’t stir when I put my arms around them.

  “She’s the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen,” I said. “What’s her name?”

  “What else? Star.”

  * * * *

  Rachel and I stumbled blearily back into the Fishbowl a few minutes past four-thirty in the morning, both of us refusing to leave the hospital until we were positive everything would be okay. I didn’t know what hotel they’d originally planned for us to stay at, and I didn’t care. After a hospital bench, my regular bed would be a marshmallow.

  The wedding started at one o’clock, and my stylist should arrive around eleven to start my hair and makeup. More time than I usually needed, but this was no ordinary day. It wasn’t even an ordinary wedding. But at least I was going to look freaking fantastic. After having such short hair since the cruise, I looked forward to the simple pleasure of someone else brushing and styling my extensions for me.

  Snaking my bra down my arms and letting it drop to the floor, I crawled into bed, not even bothering to undress. Tears of exhaustion trickled down my face. Exhaustion, or misery? I missed Justin.

  All I wanted was for the two of us to get in a car and drive far, far away from the Fishbowl, never looking back. If he were here, he’d feel the same way. But Justin was still stuck in Florida, where wind and rain still pummeled the coast, even after the storm moved north. Only a miracle would get him here on time, and I’d used up all my ability to hope for one.

  With a heavy sigh, I buried my face in my pillow and choked back a sob. Jen and Justin’s Royalty-Inspired Dream Wedding had turned out to be a complete and utter nightmare.

  * * * *

  When I woke a couple of hours later, my eyes were grainy. My mouth tasted like a dirty sock. But my mind was racing, and I couldn’t sleep. After tossing and turning for what seemed like an hour, I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and went out to get some air, still in last night’s clothes.

  Right before the entrance to the maze, moving shadows stopped me dead in my tracks. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one sneaking into the hedges for a bit of privacy. Flattening myself against the wall, I inched toward the entrance, wondering who I’d find and what they were doing out here. Rachel had been sleeping when I left our room, not surprisingly, and I’d heard snores from the guys’ room but not bothered to investigate.

  Someone coughed, and I froze. A man. Then he cleared his throat, and I recognized the sound. My heart soared.

  Justin. Thank God he’d finally made it. All my frustration over the past few days evaporated at realizing he’d gotten here after all. Picking up my pace, I turned the corner into the maze and ran right into him. “Whoa, there.”

  His arms came up to steady us, and his scent enveloped me. I looked up, losing myself in the emerald of his eyes. Our lips met in a heated rush. My hands roamed up and down his back, wanting to assure myself this was really happening. Tears of relief came to my eyes. Finally, everything would be okay.

  When the kiss ended, Justin kissed me softly a second time, then crushed me against his chest. I settled into his arms, savoring the feel after a few days apart that felt like an eternity.

  He spoke again, so quietly he barely breathed his words against my ear. “No one knows I’m here. Don’t say my name. We need to move deeper into the maze so no one can overhear us. Okay?”

  I nodded, but moved onto my toes to give him one more kiss. I wasn’t quite ready to let go of him yet, as if he might vanish the second we lost contact. When our lips met, he moved his hands to my hips and lifted me against him, turning and carrying both of us into the maze. My senses sang. By the time he broke the kiss, both of us were panting.

  “Did you miss me?” he asked, his eyes twinkling.

  “You have no idea,” I said. “And I’ll fill you in, but not yet. Let’s go closer to the center.”

  He set me down slowly, my body sliding down the length of his. My pulse quickened at the close contact. Every synapse in my body fired.

  As quickly as I dared, I took his hand and tiptoed deep into the maze where no one could overhear us. A few minutes later, I stopped. “This should be okay. What’s going on? How are you even here?”

  “Later,” he said, cupping my face with one hand and brushing his thumb against my lips. I shivered. “There’s plenty of time to catch up later. Right now, I need you.”

  His words sent a thrill through me. I leaned into him, reveling in the feel of his lean, firm body against mine. My hips brushed against his groin, sending a jolt of electricity through me. His hands moved up and down my back.

  “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

  “I think I do,” he said. “Are there cameras in here?”

  I shook my head. “We shouldn’t even be here. The whole maze is off-limits until the big event. But we can talk without anyone hearing us.”

  “No.” His mouth hovered centimeters above mine. I ached to close the gap. We had so much to say to each other, but it had been a horrible week. “Right now, I don’t want to talk at all.”

  “Me, neither,” I said.

  My hands sank into his hair, playing with the blond tendrils at the nape of his neck. His hands found my hips as my lips found his.

  We kissed again and again, our bodies doing the talking for us. And as Just
in lifted me against him, I knew that, no matter what else the Network threw our way, now that he was here, we’d be able to handle it. Together.

  * * * *

  After we put ourselves back together, Justin pulled me toward him, and I leaned my head against his shoulder. “It’s so good to see you. I didn’t think you were going to make it.”

  “You know I couldn’t let you become a bigamist.”

  “As if. But thanks. How did you get a flight?”

  “I didn’t,” he said. “I drove.”

  “You drove from Florida to California? Overnight?” That…wasn’t even possible.

  “No, I rented a car when they still didn’t have a flight for us on Wednesday afternoon. Sarah helped. It only took about forty hours.”

  “So, you drove through a hurricane for me? And crossed thousands of miles in three days?” My heart grew even more at the thought that he’d been so desperate to get to me, he hadn’t waited for a flight. After all the stress of the past week, happy tears prickled the back of my eyes.

  “Yeah, I did. Surprise!” He flashed his dimples at me before leaning down for another kiss. “Sarah’s here, too, at the hotel. I’ve been awake for the better part of three days, so we need a plan before I pass out. Do we tell them I’m here? Do we let the drama build? Do we have Connor sneak us away to get a marriage license right now?”

  “We don’t need a marriage license.”

  “No one else knows that.”

  “Right. But the courthouse is unfortunately not open on Saturdays.” I chewed on one thumbnail. “Which is fine. There’s no way I’d go through with a wedding for the Network after all the stunts they pulled this week. They seriously think I’m going to marry Logan for their ratings.”

  “You don’t have to marry Logan. I’m not letting the show turn you into a felon.”

  As we walked toward the front of the maze, clasped hands swinging, I filled him in on everything that happened since we last talked.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” He ran one hand through his hair. “It’s stupid, the whole thing was my idea. I shouldn’t be upset about you kissing Logan.”

  “I never would have let it go on so long if I didn’t think it was okay,” I said quickly. “You know I don’t want to kiss anyone else.”

  “It’s not that,” he said. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at my stupid company for making all this shit happen in the first place. Maybe I should have just quit. No job is worth what the Network has put you through.”

  “Maybe not, but at this point, I’ve already been through it. If you quit your job, it’s all for nothing,” I said. “Besides, it’s only one week out of our lives. Then you’ll have job security and we can move on.”

  “I wish I believed that. What happens when the Network wants us to do some other harebrained show? What if the next one is Justin’s Big Affair or Reality Divorce? Are we allowed to say no? Or will my boss threaten to fire me again if I reject the next show?”

  With a sigh, I stopped, leaning my head back against the hedge. In my haste to save Justin’s job and my excitement at the “free” wedding, I hadn’t thought ahead to the greater ramifications of what we were doing. “I hadn’t thought about that. So what do we—?”

  Justin cut me off with two fingers against my mouth. He pursed his lips in the universal “shh” gesture, cocked his head to the left, and pointed behind me. I took a deep breath, forcing my pounding heart to slow, and moved my ear against the hedge.

  Footsteps. They echoed down the other side of the maze hedge, between us and the entrance. If whoever was walking around made a couple of right turns, they’d find us unless we moved.

  A giggle reached my ears, then a low sigh. A man and a woman. Justin tilted his head at me quizzically. He didn’t recognize the voices, but I knew one of them well. And I’d heard the other within the past week.

  With my right hand, I made an L sign. Logan.

  “Not here. Someone might hear us. I plan to make you scream,” the female voice said. Janine. At least she wasn’t lying when she said she didn’t want me to marry Logan.

  He chuckled, still on the other side of the maze. They’d stopped walking, only a couple of feet away, but separated by the greenery. I didn’t dare move for fear they’d discover us.

  Logan said, “What if we let them hear us? Let the cameras pick up our voices? How’s your Jen impression?”

  “What are you saying?” Her voice came out breathier, as if Logan’s hands were roaming while he talked to her.

  “Nothing at all.” He raised his voice. “Oh, my God, Jennifer, that feels amazing.”

  My blood boiled. That bastard. To think I’d considered him a friend.

  On the other side of the maze, Janine chuckled. “Mmmm. Oh, you’re so evil. I love it.”

  “I hope you’re a screamer,” he said. Lips smacked together. “Think about the drama. The ratings. Oh, the viewers are going to love it. Audio footage of two people in the maze…”

  A zipper opened. My face grew warm. I couldn’t believe we were hearing this.

  “Oh, Logan,” Janine said. “Oh, God. Think of the ratings. Yes! Ratings. Yes!”

  Pain jolted me out of my fury when I clenched my fists so hard, my fingernails drew blood. We needed to get out of there. Logan and Janine had me in an even worse position than they thought: if anyone saw me leaving the maze, the world would never believe they’d staged this encounter.

  Justin’s eyes met mine. He looked as disturbed as I felt. We were trapped in the maze, inches from two people having sex, one of them pretending to be me, the other very clearly not Justin. I pulled out my phone, and mouthed “silent” to Justin, who nodded and pulled out his own phone. Then I sent him a text.

  So much for not telling people you’re here. We need to get to the house, either so everyone knows I am NOT in the maze, or so they think I’m having sex with you.

  His reply came instantly. ;-)

  Shh! Not now.

  Behind us, the sounds were getting louder. Turned out, Logan was a screamer. Justin blew me a kiss before sending the next text. Is there another way out?

  Genius. My husband was a genius. I’d nearly forgotten. Yes! There’s a hedge that swings open, in the far corner. For maintenance.

  We pocketed our phones and crept through the maze toward the secret exit Connor had shown me. Their cries of “drama” and “ratings” followed us. I didn’t breathe until we swung that portion of the wall outward, revealing the backyard where we’d once played three-legged Pin the Tail on the Donkey. We headed for the house, not even bothering to close the wall. Let people know I’d been there. Let Logan and Janine wonder, and sweat. Not my problem.

  “I guess this means I’m not going back to the hotel,” Justin said.

  I was about to agree when a thought hit me. “What if we just go with it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, this show was never about us. It’s not our wedding, not really. We knew that. That’s why we got married before leaving Florida.”

  “True…”

  “So what if we just go along with their scheme? I go back to the house, alone, pull Rachel aside, and tell her I had sex with Logan? Then I go into the confessional and act all torn up about cheating on you?”

  Justin burst out laughing, then quickly put a hand over his mouth. “Oh, man, I’d love to see the look on Logan’s face when he finds out. Especially if you swear up and down that you had sex with him.”

  “I could even moan a little, ‘Oh, yes, the drama. Oh, drama!’”

  Justin wiped tears of laughter from his eyes before replying. “You could call me and make a tearful confession.”

  It was so, so tempting to mess with Logan that way. Part of me loved the idea of beating the Network at their own game. But my more practical side tapped me on t
he shoulder and whispered something in my ear that sounded suspiciously like “ramifications.”

  “We can’t do it,” I said. “Although it would be hilarious for us, the rest of the viewers wouldn’t be in on the joke. Remember all those memes calling me a home-wrecker during The Fishbowl? Now that America has embraced us as a couple, they’ll turn on me if they think I cheated.”

  “Right.” He sighed. “That would be rough. The tweets and the hate mail. I’d start getting offers to ‘make me feel better’. Media hounding us at home again.”

  “I could handle most of that,” I said. “It goes with the territory. The problem is the bakery. Sweet Reality’s business would tank. One of the reasons they come in is to see pictures of us.”

  “Also, we’ve got a signing scheduled after the honeymoon. Not a lot of people will want our autographs if they watched you marry Logan.”

  “Nope. And don’t even think about inviting Logan to the signing. It’s a funny thought, but keeping up the charade would get exhausting, fast. Especially if he tried to choke me with his tongue again.”

  “Yeah.”

  I heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Guess I better keep you as my only husband. However will I manage?”

  “You’re pretty resourceful. You’ll find a way.” Justin pulled me against him for a kiss. His lips lingered on mine for a long moment. “I like it when you call me your husband.”

  “My husband.”

  “Talk like that and we’re going to have to go back into the maze.” His lips blazed a trail to my earlobe, and I wished I could just abandon the show entirely and follow him back to his hotel room. “I missed you, my wife.”

  “I missed you, too.”

  “The good news is, we’ll be sleeping under the same roof starting tonight. Where are we going for the honeymoon?”

  “No idea. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care.” I popped onto my toes for one more fleeting kiss. “I refuse to go on a honeymoon with Logan.”

  “You’re not getting any argument from me,” Justin said. “So, what do we do now?”

  “How did you get here?”

  “I parked in front of the house behind this one and walked through the backyard. Why? You planning a great escape?”