Anarchy

by Brenda Trim

  Sunrise was close at hand when he carried her from the barn turned shop. The cool night air seemed to infiltrate the thin blanket he’d wrapped her in. She enjoyed how he clutched her closer when a shiver wracked her fatigued body.

  “Thank you,” she told him as she looked up and met his green eyes.

  “I was happy to take one for the team. I mean there were moments…” he teased trailing off at the end.

  Smacking his arm, she laughed at him. “I’d be offended but given the number of times you climaxed inside me I’m positive you enjoyed it as much as I did. You’ve got more stamina than I anticipated. Very impressive.”

  Placing her on the seat of the four-wheeler, Zane cupped her cheek and gave her a look that morphed her blood to kerosene. One corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile acting as a match lighting her on fire. In the span of one rapid heartbeat her desire came roaring back and she ached for more. It was hard to focus on anything when he took a seat next to her on the bench seat.

  “I have more to offer than you realize. But I promised I wouldn’t go there, so I will leave it at that.” Pang. Her chest twisted and her breathing constricted. She made the sexiest smile turn sour.

  She opened her mouth to object and try to coax him to return to the way things had been only moments before, but she closed it without saying anything. She had some serious thinking to do.

  The desire in her heart hadn’t changed one bit. She wanted to mate a shifter and have cubs. An image of her parents popped into her head reminding her she wanted a bond like the one they shared with each other. It had always been what she’d imagined for herself.

  Leaning her head back she watched the horizon lighten as he drove. “I’ll make it back just in time to help Ashley with breakfast.”

  Zane’s head turned and he brushed the backs of his fingers against her cheek in a gentle, yet brief caress. “I’m sure she will be just fine with you missing the shift. There are plenty of others that can help in the kitchen. And, you need to get some rest. You had a long, hard night.”

  She smiled at the easy camaraderie of the moment and the double entendre that sent her spiraling again. No. Can’t allow base needs to take control again. It was time to get her head on straight.

  “Very hard and…satisfying. I usually ache far more at this point in the heat cycle,” she admitted.

  “You’re not through it yet?” He blurted and cast wide eyes her way. She noted that he turned far earlier and took her the long way around the grounds.

  Shaking her head, she wrapped her arms around her knees and rested her head on them. “Not entirely, but the worst has passed.”

  “I’ll take you back to the barn. I don’t want others coming after you again,” he informed her through clenched teeth.

  Lifting her head, she laid a hand on his forearm and wasn’t surprised by the hard muscles filled with tension she encountered. “No one will come after me. The pheromones are largely under control and I carry your scent.”

  “I still don’t like it,” he grumbled but kept driving toward the hotel that served as home to her pack.

  They continued the rest of their drive in silence, each lost in their own minds. The scent of burned wood, astringent chemicals and loss reminded her of the damage to their property and the growing hatred and violence toward shifters. She also caught scent of the construction further out. The wall being built to protect them from the danger humans posed to their kind. For as long as she’d been alive, shifters had lived in a wary kind of peace beside humans.

  Before she knew it, Zane pulled up behind the hotel. After they both climbed out, she turned and faced him. He stood by the other side of the vehicle. His apprehension was clear. And she had no doubt was echoed on her face. They’d shared something magical and she didn’t want it to end, but she needed space to think about the turmoil boiling in her mind.

  Closing the distance, she tilted her head back and gazed at him. Before he could take off without a word, she lifted to her tiptoes and placed a kiss to his lips. She didn’t think he could shock her anymore, but he did when he took a step back and sat on the seat without deepening the kiss.

  Wrapping the blanket around her shoulders, she lowered her head while sadness swamped her. He meant what he said last night. He would not seek anything further with her. The wall he’d erected between them went back up in record time and now blocked any connection they’d formed the night before.

  “Thank you again for everything,” she murmured. When tears burned the back of her eyes she turned and bolted inside the back door.

  Slamming the panel shut, she thought she heard him say goodbye. No! Her heart objected. This couldn’t be the end of things between them. But he wasn’t a shifter. Was she prepared to throw away everything she’d ever dreamed of having?

  Not yet, she thought grimly. At the same moment her mind shouted to go to Zane and nurture the seed they’d planted the night before. She smothered with every inch they placed between each other. Yet, she was helpless to stop it.

  She needed to think about shit before she did something that would cause them even more pain. The burning bridge was visible and every second that passed before she made a step to remedy the situation one way or another was one she couldn’t retrieve. She just hoped there was enough bridge for her to jump the gap when the time came.

  Because no matter what happened in her future, she didn’t want Zane as an enemy. The mere thought made her gut clench and her chest ache. There was no scenario where she was okay not having him as a friend in her future.

  Shaking off the fatigue, Brenlee headed through the quiet building and to her room. The lobby was their main gathering place. In the early morning hours, it was quiet and peaceful. The exact opposite of how she felt at the moment.

  Despite the confusion se was currently experiencing, Brenlee allowed the sense of home seep into her body. The hotel may have been owned by Bart at one point, but it now reflected Lawson and their pack more than anything ever had.

  The past year was the first time any shifter pack had lived together in such close quarters. Typically, they lived in close proximity, but always in their own homes and on their own land. After escaping PCL, Lawson issued an invitation to all pack members. Many flocked to Safe Haven right away and countless more had joined them over the last month.

  It was ironic that she was surrounded by more shifters than ever before in her life, and yet, she was falling for a half-breed. Except Zane wasn’t even a half-breed. There was a high possibility that Lawson’s children would be able to shift into wolf after their birth. But Zane was so far removed from his shifter ancestor that he didn’t have the ability.

  And therein lay her problem. All her life Brenlee wanted a mate relationship with another shifter. She wanted to share her entire life with her partner. Growing up watching her parents shift and hunt together, as well as run, play and sleep in their fur created a longing for the same within her heart.

  She couldn’t imagine going on pack runs without her mate by her side. It struck her as wrong to leave her other half behind because he couldn’t turn into a wolf like her. There was something magical about running through the forest on four legs.

  Was it wrong to want to share every aspect of herself with the one she bonded to forever? Wolves only mated once. Once you shared your life force you literally couldn’t live without that person. If one was mortally injured the other would die as well. It was why her parents had died within hours of each other.

  If she chose Zane, she would always be forced to keep herself in check in some way. It would be next to impossible to completely let herself go during sex. Not only that, but she would have to be mindful of his feelings when she did things he couldn’t because he was human.

  All those dreams of running alongside her mate in animal form and hunting and playing together would never come to fruition. She couldn’t imagine a life without that. It seemed sad and unfulfilling, she thought as she entered her room.

  Lawson and
Ryan are happier than they’d ever been, and they don’t have any of that. Dropping the blanket on the floor next to her closet, she grabbed clothes and headed straight for the bathroom.

  Turning the faucet all the way to hot, she was reminded of another thing Zane would never be able to tolerate. Sharing her kill after a successful hunt. Her wolf preferred to eat raw after she killed. The times her father dropped rabbits, deer and other prey at her mother’s feet were branded on her mind.

  A new image of Lawson dropping a buck by the back door while Liv, Ashley, and Cassie watched flashed through her mind. Lawson had shifted back and embraced his newly pregnant mate while several pack mates took the animal and prepared it for dinner. The love shinning in Liv’s eyes as she took the first bites of the meat was undeniable.

  As more and more evidence of Lawson and Ryan’s happiness popped into her head, she had to ask herself if she was being stupid for denying the very real connection she shared with Zane.

  Stepping under the hot water, Brenlee reveled in the spray soothing her tense muscles. Grabbing the soap, she shampooed her hair and scrubbed her body. It wasn’t until the cleanser washed away Zane’s masculine scent that she regretted taking the shower.

  That spoke volumes. She liked carrying his scent. Liked being around him. Admired his dedication and strength. Loved how willing he was to put his life on the line for shifters. Enjoyed teasing and flirting with him. And was fascinated by his intellect. But most of all she was addicted to him.

  Her head spun and her heart ached as she turned the handle and wrapped a fluffy towel around her body. Drying the steam from the mirror, Brenlee looked at her reflection. A wrinkle formed on her brow when she saw the stress lines around her mouth and the dark circles under her eyes.

  After drying off, she stepped into a pair of silky pink panties that made her think of Zane for the millionth time since leaving his side ten minutes ago. Black stretchy pants were next followed by a pink bra and grey t-shirt that said ‘Namaste 6 Feet Away’ with a meditating Frenchie on the front. It was her way of supporting a local business with the virus spreading across the globe. It was early yet, but news channels talked about it causing a global quarantine.

  After running a brush through her hair, Brenlee headed down to the kitchen. Ashley was already there and dancing as she grabbed supplies from the pantry. A song by one of Brenlee’s favorite singers, Brantley Gilbert, was on low with the television on mute in the corner.

  “Hola, Bren. You could’ve skipped this morning. I heard you had a rough night,” Ashley said in greeting.

  “My night was better than expected. I didn’t get much sleep, but I’d rather be here helping. My mind refuses to settle enough for me to sleep,” she admitted to the tiny Hispanic female.

  “Ah,” she nodded sagely then set ingredients on the counter. “Did you finally give into the desire between you and that sexy attorney?”

  Brenlee felt her cheeks heat and had to turn away to hide her reaction. Just thinking about it threatened to make her arousal skyrocket once again. Busying herself with starting the coffee, she replied, “It was just because I was in heat.”

  “I didn’t take you for someone that lied to herself,” Ashley countered. “The sexual tension between you two has made everyone on edge.”

  “It wasn’t something I ever planned on acting on. When I went into heat I couldn’t resist anymore,” Brenlee acknowledged. “He’s an attractive male, but he isn’t…well, the one for me.”

  “Why? He’s smart, good looking and on our side,” Ashley said. Brenlee felt her gaze burn the back of her head. It nearly made Brenlee blurt everything out, but she focused on adding coffee beans to the grinder before transferring them to the appliance.

  Brenlee struggled with how to respond to her friend. Ashley was human. She wouldn’t understand the issues she struggled with. After setting the grounds to brew, she turned around to respond and was caught by the scene on the television.

  “Turn that up, would you?” Bren asked and gaped at the sight of the Ravin Lawson had brought home the other night.

  “What the hell?” Ashley blurted while the news caster was saying something about how violent and dangerous all shifters were. “How did they get that footage?”

  “It had to be the drone that flew over the property,” Brenlee observed as she noticed the footage had been taken from above the scuffle. The Ravin was a terrifying sight with its toothy snarl and half-shifted state. It was the image Hollywood often used in their horror films.

  Brenlee was certain someone along the lines had gotten a glimpse of a Ravin and later used it as inspiration for the creatures in movies. It was something shifters had been working diligently to disprove as what they looked like when shifted.

  No one would want to explain why this male looked like this. It was only a matter of time before news crews showed up and the phone started ringing. This was going to make the situation between humans and shifters so much worse.

  Too many carried guns in this country. What happened at the gas station when Zane watched the shifter get killed was going to become common place across the country as humans decided to take proactive steps to protect themselves from attack.

  “The shit has hit the fan now,” Ashley muttered as she continued preparing breakfast.

  “Yes, it has. And I hate to be the one to tell Lawson. He’s not going to like this,” Brenlee replied as she joined in meal prep. At least the news had distracted her from her turmoil over Zane. This was a major issue that threatened the safety of every shifter alive.

  Chapter 16

  Zane shook his head at the sight in the local warehouse store. When buying for that many people, you had to shop in bulk and this place offered the best products. Not only were humans pissed at shifters, but the world was facing a virus that threatened the entire globe. Between COVID and the hatred for shifters, it was total anarchy out there now. People were fighting for toilet paper, canned goods and various other food items while lashing out at beings they didn’t understand.

  No one wanted shifters to leave the property at Safe Haven. For weeks the violence against their kind had been escalating which meant he and Bart both had to join Ashley on the bi-weekly shopping trip. They each had memberships to the warehouse, and the stores only let each person purchase so much of each product. Having to feed as many mouths as they did, they needed more than Ashley was able to get on her own.

  What was worse was they each had on masks and gloves as they pulled the flat cart throughout the store and piled it high with groceries. It was inconceivable. Never in his life had he dreamt he would be in a position like this.

  “Can you believe how little food there is on the shelves right now?” He asked his friends.

  Bart glanced over and peered at him with a tilt of his head. “Did you say something?”

  Nodding, Zane thought the guy must still be tired after spending last night polishing the bill they’d been drafting. “Yeah. I asked if you can believe the shelves in here.”

  “It’s hard to tell when you are talking without being able to see your mouths,” Ashley interjected as she placed several bags of corn tortillas on each of their carts. “And, everyone is uncertain about their future and panic buying.”

  “You’re right about that,” Bart added. “When the virus started spreading a couple weeks ago, I’d hoped it would detract attention from sh…shit.”

  Zane knew what the former Governor wasn’t saying. It seemed as if the pandemic had the chance of diverting the focus from shifters and humans trying to destroy them. After all, that attitude came from fear and the desire to survive.

  Zane worried about his family and talked with them frequently to make sure they were staying up on the news. He thought stay at home orders were imminent and had relayed that to his parents. Thankfully, food delivery was available for his parents where it wasn’t for the shifters at Safe Haven.

  “Well, it did push the story about the Ravin to the back burner. I doubt anything els
e would have been able to take the spotlight,” Zane pointed out.

  “I wish it could also un-ring that particular bell,” Bart muttered. Zane wasn’t sure if the mask was muffling his response or if he was trying to keep their conversation covert. “There would be so much less fear without that footage. Shifters aren’t those creatures.”

  Ashley nodded and grabbed boxes of beans before pointing to some vegetables and other canned goods. Zane and Bart grabbed as much as possible for each of their carts as they moved through the aisles. Sweat coated his palms inside the gloves and it was harder than he thought to breathe through the mask. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, and he wished he could take them off.

  They were among the few in the store wearing masks and gloves. The virus was bad in other countries, but the spread had just begun in the US. Liv told them it was going to be so much worse here because the government wasn’t taking steps when they should.

  As a scientist, Liv understood what would happen with this virus and how to protect against infection. Lawson had insisted they wear the protective gear after Liv told them they could be exposed even if others showed no outward signs of being sick. The Alpha was worried about his mate and their unborn cub.

  While she should be immune now that Lawson had shared his life force with her, no one was certain shifters were immune. Liv believed shifters were because they weren’t susceptible to human diseases, but without studying the virus herself she couldn’t be certain. Shifters hadn’t left Safe Haven for the past week, so their risk of exposure was minimal.

  They continued through the store grabbing the supplies they could and headed to the checkout. The lines were long, and it seemed to take forever before they made it out of the store. Zane was surprised to find dusk had settled by the time they reached the parking lot.

  Cars crowded the area closest to the doors, but Zane had parked his truck in the far corner away from most vehicles. It was a habit from his long days behind a desk and in courtrooms. His profession didn’t leave as much time as he liked for exercise, so he’d made choices that offered as much movement as possible like parking far away, taking the stairs and doing five minutes of squats several times a day.