Sex, Not Love

by Vi Keeland

  “I cook most nights to feed Izzy a balanced meal. In the mornings, she grabs a bar and runs out the door at six-thirty before school and doesn’t get home from sports until almost seven most nights. Dinner is the only chance I have to make sure she gets decent nourishment. Plus…” I smiled. “I like to cook, too.”

  “You’re really good with her.”

  I sipped my wine. “Thanks. I’m totally bluffing it. I have no idea how to raise a teenager.”

  “You’d never know it.”

  “My mom always said good parenting was spending half the amount of money you think you should and double the amount of free time you have with your kids. Lucky for Izzy, I’m always broke and have no life.”

  Hunter chuckled and turned his attention back to the stove. He lifted the pan off the flame and flicked his wrist a few times to stir dinner before setting it down again. Then he lowered the heat to a simmer and came to lean across the other side of the island from me with his wine in hand.

  “So what are your limits?”

  I sipped. “My limits?”

  “In bed. What’s a no for you?”

  I was mid-swallow of my wine, and the casual way he’d asked the question caught me so off guard that I gulped it down the wrong pipe. I sputtered and coughed.

  “You okay?”

  I nodded and put my hand up while catching my breath. My voice was strained when I could finally speak. “Stop doing that to me. Who talks like that?”

  “What?”

  “You just asked about my sexual limits so casually, like you were asking if I wanted a glass of water.”

  “How would you have liked me to ask?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe less business and more personal, perhaps.”

  He nodded. “Okay. I can do that.” Reaching across the counter, he took my hands into his. “Sweet pea, you have a mighty fine ass. What are your thoughts on my tapping that?”

  I felt my face shade pink, and a knowing grin spread across his.

  “You’re a jerk.”

  “Pretty sure that’s not news to you.”

  A crackle popped from the pan on the stove, forcing Hunter’s attention back to heating dinner. I watched him move around the kitchen with grace as he plated two meals and cut up a loaf of semolina bread. Though there was a dining room table, without discussing it, we ate in the kitchen on the island across from one another. It reminded me of hanging out and enjoying a meal with a friend, rather than forcing the formality of eating in the dining room. I liked that he just went with the flow. Garrett would never have eaten in the kitchen.

  “This is really good,” I said. “Did you make the cream sauce yourself?”

  “I did. Thank you.”

  Hunter forked pasta and chicken, and I couldn’t help watching the way his throat worked to swallow the food. The masculine bob of his Adam’s apple was hypnotic. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to watch him undress if the sight of his neck did this to me.

  As we ate, I quietly deliberated saying something. I had no doubt Hunter and I would have great sex, but if I was open with him, the way he was with me, things could only be better. So, deciding to push my embarrassment to the side, I opened up.

  “I’ve never had anal sex.”

  A slow smile spread across his face. He tore a piece of bread in half and dipped it around in the sauce on his plate. “Opposed to it?”

  “I’m not sure opposed to it is the right term. Terrified might fit better.”

  He chuckled. “Okay. Good to know. We’ll save that for when you learn to trust me in bed. How about oral?”

  I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation. “Giving or receiving?”

  “Both.”

  “I enjoy both.”

  His eyes scorched with heat. “Opposed to being tied up?”

  God, there was a lot Garrett and I didn’t do. “Never tried it. But I’d be open to it.”

  “Nice. Toys?”

  My face heated. “I have a vibrator, yes.”

  “Opposed to using it for me?”

  My mouth dropped open. I’d never masturbated with anyone watching. “I’m not sure.”

  His eyes dropped to my pebbled nipples and rose back to meet mine. “I’ll take that as a yes. Any fetishes?”

  “Me? No. You?”

  “Not really. But would it scare you if I told you I’d love to spank your ass.”

  I swallowed and whispered, “Oddly, no, not at all.”

  “After I spank you, I’d take you from behind while you’re on all fours. Opposed?”

  Jesus Christ. I didn’t answer, but that wasn’t because I was against it, I just couldn’t figure out how to get my mouth to move. Seeming to sense that my silence wasn’t a bad thing, his sinful mouth continued on.

  “And when I’m done, I want to come all over your ass and back.”

  “God, Hunter.”

  “When is the next time Izzy is staying at her grandmother’s? I want a whole night the first time I’m inside you.”

  In the moment, I couldn’t remember what day it was, much less which weekend my stepdaughter was scheduled to visit her grandmother. I gulped from my wine glass in a very unladylike manner and answered honestly. “Not soon enough.”

  Somehow we managed to not claw each other’s clothes off after that. When we’d finished dinner, we cleaned up together and then sat in the living room talking. There was no lull in our conversation as we covered everything from work to our last vacations and places we’d like to visit. Hunter, it seemed, was an open book to most anything, except for his one serious relationship. And I, of all people, understood wanting to forget past mistakes.

  Even though I hated to go, I asked him to drive me home about eleven. He walked me up to my apartment, and we said goodnight at the door with yet another amazing kiss.

  “I’ll call you.” He kissed my forehead. I really loved when he did that for some reason.

  “I won’t be able to answer most of tomorrow. It’s visiting day. I take Izzy to see her dad, and it’s a four-hour drive each way, plus the actual time while she visits.”

  I caught Hunter’s jaw clench, but he nodded and said nothing further on the subject. “I have to fly back to California on Tuesday for a few days to work with a client on some last-minute drafting revisions. Look at your schedule and let me know if you’re free next weekend.”

  “Okay.”

  I checked in on a sleeping Izzy and took a quick shower. I was too awake to go right to sleep, so after, I sat on my bed, booted up my laptop, and opened my calendar in Google. Next weekend was marked off as Izzy’s monthly visit with her grandmother. She normally went on Friday, and I picked her up on Sunday, unless she had a game early Saturday morning. Then I dropped her after the game. I clicked to my bookmarked favorite sites and opened the athletics schedule for Beacon. Surprisingly, the only game this week was on Thursday evening. There was no Saturday game.

  I reached for my phone and texted Hunter, figuring he would probably be home by now.

  Natalia: Izzy’s weekend with her grandmother is next weekend.

  The dots started to jump around.

  Hunter: When do you drop her off?

  Natalia: After practice on Friday—usually around seven. Then pick her up on the way to Mom’s house for Sunday night dinner.

  Hunter: I’ll pick you up at eight Friday night. Pack a bag. You’re staying the weekend.

  My little heart went into a pitter-patter frenzy. Before I could respond, a second text came in.

  Hunter: On second thought, bring nothing. You won’t be needing any clothes. I’ll pick you up a toothbrush.

  Natalia: LOL. I’ll bring a bag anyway. Just in case there’s a fire and I have to run out of the house.

  Hunter: Good thinking. Wouldn’t want any neighbors to see that ass. Because for what’s left of my two-month assignment, it belongs to me.

  I smiled like a teenager. I liked the sound of that. A lot. But in the back of my head, a tiny little wa
rning went off.

  Just make sure all you give him is your ass, Nat. Not your heart.

  Chapter 20

  Hunter

  11 years ago

  It never dulled.

  Not even after eight months of not seeing her.

  I should’ve forgotten all about Summer by now. There’d been others—maybe too many others in an attempt to forget her—but my attraction was still there the first time we crossed paths again.

  It was Jayce’s graduation party at our aunt and uncle’s house. I was sipping a beer in the living room when she walked in. Our eyes locked, and I swear it felt like my heart started to beat for the first time.

  Fuck. She’s gorgeous.

  I watched as she walked over to Jayce and his girlfriend of two months and gave him a big hug. She said something that made all three of them laugh, and then walked over to the couch and parked herself right next to me. Without turning her head in my direction, she took the beer from my hand and brought it to her lips to drink.

  She spoke before drinking. “Truth or dare?”

  I smirked. “Truth.”

  After she took a healthy swallow from my beer, she passed it back. “Did you delete the nearly naked picture of me on your phone that I sent forever ago?”

  I turned my head and waited until she finally looked at me to respond. “Nope.”

  Her eyes sparkled. “How often do you look at it?”

  “More truth?”

  She nodded.

  “Every fucking day.”

  We passed the beer back and forth again. “Seeing anyone?” she asked.

  “I have someone I see once in a while.”

  “Is see code for fuck?”

  The corners of my lip twitched. “I was trying to be a gentleman. How about you? You seeing anyone?”

  She lobbed my noncommittal answer right back at me. “I have someone I see once in a while.”

  I was screwing someone else, hadn’t seen or spoken to Summer in eight months—not since the night at the party when I walked away after realizing she was the girl my brother was nuts about—and yet, I had the urge to rip the head off the nameless, faceless guy she was sleeping with. Yeah, time hadn’t dulled shit.

  I stood. “Going to grab another beer. You want your own, or are you planning on just taking mine the rest of the night?”

  Summer flashed an impish smile. “Planning on taking yours the rest of the night, unless that’s a problem.”

  “No problem here.”

  I took five minutes to sort out my head before returning to the couch. I glanced over at my brother with his arm around Emily—he looked happy. He’d pined over Summer for six more months after that party. Now that he’d seemed to move on, was the ban lifted? Jayce had no idea anything had ever happened between Summer and me—and truth be told, not much had. But was it ever okay to go for a girl your brother was once crazy about, even though she’d never returned the feelings? I wasn’t sure my moral compass always pointed me in the right direction.

  Summer hadn’t moved from the couch when I returned. I sat, cracked open a new beer and took a sip before passing it to her. “My turn. Truth or dare?”

  She took a long chug from the can. “Dare.”

  The challenge exited my mouth without any real thought. “Text the guy you’re seeing and tell him you’re done with seeing him.”

  Summer looked back and forth between my eyes before digging into her purse and pulling out her cell. She scrolled through her contacts and typed a message. When she finished, she turned the phone toward me so I could read the text she’d typed to a guy named Gavin.

  Hey. Sorry to do this via text. But I need to end what we have going on. Have a nice summer break!

  After I finished reading, she hit send.

  I drank from the beer. “Gavin’s day just got shitty.”

  We smiled at each other as her phone pinged with a response. I loved that she didn’t bother to open it and ignored the sound of a dozen new messages over the next half hour we sat together.

  When the party was in full swing, Summer and I separated, each spending time talking to our friends and hanging out with Jayce. But there wasn’t a second of the day that I didn’t know exactly where she was. My eyes were like a magnet to her. And it didn’t appear I was the only one. Sometimes our eyes would meet, and we’d smile. Other times, one of us would look at the other, mid-conversation with someone else, and even though our eyes couldn’t connect, our hidden smirks said we were on the same page.

  At one point I was talking to my brother when I felt her eyes on me. I still hadn’t worked out how anything between Summer and me would sit with Jayce, so I decided to feel things out.

  “You and Emily look happy.”

  “She’s great.” He had a bottle of seltzer water in his hand, and I noticed a shake when he raised it to his mouth, almost a tremor. Considering our mother had had Parkinson’s, it was something we both noticed.

  “What’s going on there?” I lifted my chin toward his hand.

  “Just a little too much to drink last night.” He tipped his bottle to me. “A little too much graduation celebration. Sticking to seltzer today.”

  What college guy who lives in a frat house hasn’t had those nights? I thought nothing of it, seeing as I’d had shaky morning-afters myself. So, I went back to poking around.

  “Emily going to grad school?”

  “Not right away. She’s taking her nursing boards but wants to work for a while before doing a graduate degree.”

  “How’d you two meet anyway?”

  “Tutoring.” He smiled warmly. “She sucks at math.”

  “Ah. Like Su…Pearl. How’s she gonna make it through her last year of college without you around to tutor her?”

  Jayce looked over my shoulder. I knew by the look in his eye who he was gazing at. “I’ll make the time if she still needs help. I’d never turn down an opportunity to spend time with Pearl.”

  Shit. “Better not let Emily hear you say that.”

  He shook his head, still staring at Summer over my shoulder. “Yeah. No shit. No one likes to find out they’re second choice.”

  ***

  I drank too much.

  The party was winding down, and I wasn’t the only one who had overindulged. Jayce, who’d said he wasn’t drinking today, had just tripped over his own two feet, and his tipsy girlfriend laughed so hard, she fell down on the floor with him when she tried to help him up.

  Needing some fresh air, I sat on the front porch alone, nursing a beer and licking my wounds. I’d done my best to ignore Summer after my earlier conversation with my brother. Then the front door opened, and she sat her fine ass down next to me on the step.

  “Here you are. I was beginning to think you were avoiding me.”

  I was honest to a fault, more so when I drank. “I was.”

  She bumped her shoulder into mine. “You’re not too good at it, seeing as you’re sitting on the front porch, and this is the only way out.”

  I guzzled the last of my beer. “He still has feelings for you.”

  Summer’s face fell. “But he’s seeing someone.”

  “I’ve been seeing other people. Doesn’t keep me from staring at your face every fucking day on my phone.”

  She tilted her head. “My face? Is that the part you stare at in the photo on your phone?”

  My eyes dropped to her cleavage. “There’s more than three billion women in the world. Why is it that the only one I really want is the one I can’t have?”

  Summer stared down at her feet. Eventually she said, “Like I told you eight months ago, I like Jayce. He’s a great guy. But whether you and I had met or not, he’s just a friend.” Her eyes rose to meet mine. “You can’t make yourself feel something for someone any more than you can make yourself stop feeling something for someone else.”

  I knew she was right. We’d had no contact for more than eight months after finding out my brother was crazy about her. We’d both moved on to
other people, and she’d never moved Jayce out of the friend zone. It was clear neither one of us had stopped feeling what we’d felt that first day for each other. Heart trumps head, every damn time.

  It was me who started the game this time. Summer’s hands were splayed flat on the steps on either side of her, next to mine. I lifted my pinky and reached the few inches over to her hand, entwining her little finger with mine.

  “Truth or dare,” I said.

  She lifted those big green eyes to mine, looking up under thick lashes. “Truth.”

  I arched a brow at her choice. She’d always been a dare girl. After sorting through a million questions in my head, I went with something open-ended. “Tell me a secret no one else knows.”

  Summer bit her lip and looked shy for the first time since I’d met her. “No one knows I stalked you on Facebook and screenshot a photo someone had tagged you in. You were at the beach and looked really sexy.” She paused and lowered her voice. “And no one knows that sometimes I look at it while I masturbate.”

  Jesus Christ.

  I swallowed hard. This girl was trying to kill me.

  She looked down at our linked pinkies and squeezed. “Your turn. Truth or dare.”

  I cleared my throat. Since we were going against the grain, I went with it. “Dare.”

  A seductive smile spread across her face. “Come home with me.”

  Chapter 21

  Natalia

  “Are you and Hunter, like, serious?” Izzy asked.

  We were about a half hour from the federal prison when she asked the question out of the blue. She’d been her normal, brooding self this morning and had popped her earbuds in before we’d even entered the car, then proceeded to sleep for three hours of the three-and-a-half-hour drive I’d already done.

  “No. Not at all.” We were the exact opposite of serious. But telling Izzy that Hunter and I had agreed to become fuck buddies wasn’t really appropriate.

  She shrugged and put her feet up on the dashboard. “I like him.”