Tortured Minds

by Colin Griffiths

  I ran into the park where Daniel and I would sometimes run together and that just brought back another memory of him that I didn’t need. I took a seat on a park bench and lit up a cigarette. I didn’t care how ridiculous it looked, a man in all his jogging gear, stopping for a cigarette. I wasn’t a heavy smoker, but it was getting more and more lately. I was puffing on my cigarette when my phone rang. It was as if my phone had become cursed because every time it rang lately, my heart would go into my mouth. I fumbled for it in my joggers. I had become all fingers and thumbs but managed to take the call. I knew who it was by the ringtone.

  “Molly?” I said into the phone.

  “Jake?” was all she said.

  There was a pause as if we were both waiting for the other to speak. I somehow felt calm. I liked that feeling, but even though she had only said one word, it was lovely to hear her voice. I was determined not to speak next, I kept my nerve.

  “I miss him so much Jake.”

  I could feel the emotion in her voice. Her emotion was catching and I felt a tear on my cheek.

  “Me too.” It was true, I did.

  “I miss you too,” she added.

  Be strong Jake, be strong. I told myself.

  “Whats up Molly?” I simply asked her.

  Her voice quavered. I hated hearing it like that. “He’s been here Jake, he’s written things on my mirror.” I could clearly hear her sobbing now. Was it all just an act? Was this all a part of her game?

  “Why have you been texting me on Daniel’s phone?” I asked her. I needed, to say it. I needed her to know I knew what was going on.

  “What!” she shouted. I had to admit she was convincing. She really did sound shocked.

  “I’ve had two texts from Daniel’s phone. Is this a sick joke?”

  I heard her gasp into the phone. “OH MY GOD, IT’S YOU!” she shouted. “You’ve been in the house, you wrote on my mirror. What is wrong with you Jake?”

  Somehow this conversation had turned three-sixty degrees. All of a sudden I’m the guilty party, how did that happen?

  “Don’t be so stupid Molly, I’m coming over,” I told her.

  “No, No, stay away,” she screamed.

  “Molly!” I bellowed into the phone. She went silent, but I knew she was listening.

  “Something is going on here. Check Daniel’s phone. I’m on my way, whether you like it or not.”

  I didn’t give her the chance to answer, I just cut the call and started running to her house. As I ran I vowed I wasn’t going to play her games anymore, or was that exactly what I had been doing?

  ***

  Chapter 12 – Daniel

  Well, I was pretty sure that would have shaken up the pair of them and that was the general idea anyway. At least it had got them running to each other for support. I’d shaken them out of their grief, but the question was, was I any closer to figuring out what the hell had gone through their minds that night on the top of the building? Did Jake really let go of me or did they both see an opportunity to get rid of me? I needed to be there when they finally had their big reunion. I needed to see if they would push each other into admitting something.

  Jake! Who would have thought he was capable of having a “love child”? Mind you, to be fair, if he was going to fall in love and crash and burn it would be with someone like Lucy. Jake had always had this deep-seated need to be needed. He invariably would pick the most unlikely people to furnish his love and caring on, who would frequently end up just treating him like shit and using him. Lucy certainly fitted that billing.

  I guess apart from Lucy and Jake, I was the only other person in the world who knew about Maryann and how their separation tormented him so much. Lucy, to put it bluntly, was a drug-addled, scheming, lying, cheating, bitch but that was probably what attracted Jake to her in the first place. He loved playing the role of protector, the “Knight in Shining Armour”, who could spirit Lucy away from the filth and detritus that surrounded her and take her to his castle, where he would care for her and love her like nobody else would. That was Jake, though, the dreaming idealist, who could never see things for what they truly were, even when the bleeding obvious was sat right there in front of him.

  I can still remember the night Jake told me about Maryann. Actually, it’s a night I will always treasure. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as close to another human being, as I did that evening, when Jake poured out his heart and soul to me. We’d been to a football match actually, the local derby, Manchester United versus Manchester City.

  Jake was a die-hard United fan, always had been. God, that boy could quote statistics about the Red Devils, dating back to time immemorial and don’t ever get him started talking about “God”. You know who I mean, Sir Alex Bloody Ferguson. Well, anyway, I’m a true-blue Manchester City fan, just like my dad was and his dad before him. It tends to work that way with football teams you know, once you’re a supporter, you’re a supporter for life. Still, I digress. That night the United team had scraped home with a very dubious penalty in the last minute and we’d been arguing all the way back to his flat about the lack of parentage, or otherwise, of the referee.

  When we finally collapsed on the sofa in his digs and cracked open a can of Carlton Best Bitter, our favourite tipple, we were pretty much argued out. I knew it wasn’t a bloody penalty, but Jake was never going to accept that, so we just agreed to disagree, as we always did. We sat in companionable silence for a while, just enjoying the beer and each other’s company. This is the way it always was with Jake. There was no need for words, just friendship and company. I looked across at him, a half smile playing on my lips, when I noticed a single tear creep from the corner of one eye and slide silently down his cheek. Anguished, I jumped up and sat beside him on the sofa.

  Putting my arm around his shoulder, I gently queried; “Jake boy, what’s wrong? What’s the matter?”

  Instead of answering, he just leant into me and buried his face in my shirt, the tears pouring down his face now and his body wracked with sobs. I didn’t know what to do. This was so, so, far out of my area of experience or expertise. I did the only thing I could and I just held him, stroking his hair and whispering softly, “let it out Jake, just let it all out”.

  He did that alright. That night he cried an absolute bucket of tears. My lovely, silk football shirt was soaked through. When he finally managed to gather himself and lift his head from where it was buried in my chest, his eyes were mortified. He was so embarrassed to have broken down, so completely, in front of me.

  “It’s okay Jake, really, it’s okay, I understand,” I tried to reassure him.

  “I... I... It’s... not... Danny... it’s... so... not... okay,” he managed to stammer out between sobs.

  Overcome with compassion for my friend I grabbed his face between my fingers and looked deeply into his eyes. Speaking very slowly and very forcefully, I said, “Alright Jake, so it’s not okay. Tell me about it.”

  He did tell me everything, about meeting Lucy, their brief encounters, how he was the father of their child, Maryann and most importantly how Lucy, now, wouldn’t even allow him to see his daughter.

  “It’s not right is it Daniel?” He looked at me expectantly.

  I hugged him. “No Jake, it sure as hell isn’t right. You have every right to see Maryann, you’re her father for God’s sake.” Something just occurred to me and I grabbed Jake’s face again. “You’re paying Lucy money for Maryann’s upkeep, aren’t you? Oh, Jake, I know you too well. That bitch has suckered you big time. No access, but pay me maintenance.” I slammed my hand down on his coffee table in exasperation. “FUCK! WHAT A BITCH!” I screamed.

  Jake sadly nodded his head but then started to try to defend Lucy. “Danny, she’s not all bad really, she’s just had a very hard...”

  I cut in and hit the table again with my hand, causing Jake to jump back in fright. “I don’t give a rat’s arse how hard her life has been. Maryann’s your daughter and you have rights. Have you seen a
lawyer?”

  Jake admitted sorrowfully that although he’d considered it, he really was frightened that if he did that Lucy might just pack up and run. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d done that and then he’d never have a chance to ever see Maryann. “I’ll just have to keep working on her Danny. She’ll give in eventually, I just know she will.”

  Don’t be so bloody sure about that, I thought ruefully. “Would you like me to talk to her Jake? Maybe I can make her see sense.”

  Well, that suggestion sent him into another flurry of anguish and tears.

  “No... No... No... don’t do that Danny, please!” he implored me.

  When I screwed up my forehead in consternation and asked why, his response chilled me.

  “Lucy blames Molly for all the bad things that are happening to her.” He sighed deeply. “You know, she’s been on bail now, awaiting trial for well over a year.” Looking at me with anguish on his face, he added. “You know how it is with these big drug trials, they have to dot all the i’s and cross all their t’s before they go to court. Lucy may be only a bit player in this whole thing, but she’s caught up in it like the rest and she has to wait until the prosecution is ready. She’s terrified she’s going to get a custodial sentence and they’ll take Maryann away from her.”

  He fixed me with a determined look. “Danny, mate, as far as she is concerned Molly’s the Devil’s spawn. By extension, my friend, you are married to the Devil’s spawn and, therefore, part of the evil alliance against her. You know, she told me once if she ever met Molly in the street, she would pull out her knife and carve the bitch from throat to pussy, then pull out her heart and stomp all over the ground on it.”

  I recoiled in shock and threw my hands up in the air. “Oh shit, that woman really is dangerous. Okay... Okay, don’t worry mate, I’ll leave well alone, I’ll let you handle it.”

  Jake nodded thankfully.

  Of course, I didn’t leave well alone.

  That night was the first night I slept with Jake, the first of many actually. After the emotional outburst and the confessions about Lucy and Maryann, we were both feeling overwrought and emotional. I tried to change the subject to lighten the mood, but there was still a tension in the air that evening, an unmistakable current of electricity in the room. We could both feel it.

  As I got up to head home, Jake grabbed my sleeve, looked at me with those doleful, deep, eyes of his and just whispered so softly I could hardly hear him. “Don’t leave me alone tonight buddy, I need someone to hold me.”

  I smiled gently and put my arm around his shoulder, pecking him softly on the cheek. “Of course Jake, I’ll stay, of course.”

  I led him toward the bedroom and we stood there awkwardly on each side of his large bed. Jake stuttered a little, “Ahhhh... mmmm.... D-Danny, this could be a little tricky actually. You see, I sleep naked.”

  I almost giggled, but arched an eyebrow before answering, “Mmmm... funny that Jake, because so do I.”

  That broke the tension and both of us half-turned away and quickly shucked our clothes. When I turned to face him, my eyes widened and I felt a flush of colour rising up my body. Jake was some put together dude! I mean, we were all pretty fit, Molly, Jake and me. Our outdoor activities saw to that, but I think Jake was doing some extra-curricular activities to achieve a body like that. He was magnificent frankly, like a bronzed Adonis. I guess, like men everywhere, both our eyes were drawn downward to see if we measured up to each other. I have to say he was pretty impressive in that department as well.

  By this stage we were both feeling decidedly awkward, so I pulled back the covers and jumped into bed. Jake crept in beside me and we lay there for several minutes, not touching, but just inches apart. Unable to bear it any longer, I rolled toward him and placed my arm around his waist, pulling him tight into me. We fell asleep like that, spooning, just me holding him tight and feeling every fibre of his body, warm and welcoming against mine.

  There was no sex or anything like that. It was just two human beings seeking comfort and solace in each other’s arms. We both needed to be held and to be loved that evening and we both slept deeply and soundly, safe and secure in each other’s warmth and embrace. Frankly, it was wonderfully restful, beautiful and yeah, even just a tad exciting. I did have to pull away quickly in the morning when I realised my “morning glory” was nudging into his thighs, seeking attention. Apart from that, though, it was a lovely, sweet, experience that yielded us both the sort of peace and security that I suspect neither of us had ever felt before, certainly I hadn’t.

  ***

  So, I did indeed go and visit Lucy, for all the good it achieved. I got an old reporter buddy of mine, who handled the newspaper’s crime-round, to do some research and find out Lucy’s address. I knew Lucy would still be on parole, and my buddy Mike had plenty of sources at the local Ministry of Justice’s Parole Office. If anyone could wheedle Lucy’s address out of them, it would be charming Mike.

  When I turned up at Lucy’s door, it looked likely she was back using drugs. The area was an absolute dive, with drug paraphernalia, discarded needles, syringes and rubber bands littering the grass in the vacant section, next door to the crumbling terrace house listed as Lucy’s last known address.

  The woman who answered my knock looked old, it couldn’t possibly be Lucy. Jake had said they were about the same age, but this woman looked forty if she was a day. Her lank, filthy, blond hair hung in a tangled mess around her neck and she was dressed in dirty, smelly pyjamas, despite it being three in the afternoon.

  “H-hi!” I started tentatively. “I’m looking for ahh... Lucy.” Oh shit, I thought, I don’t even know her last name. “Yeah, Lucy,” I added. “Is she in?”

  The woman took the cigarette that was dangling from her lip and regarded me with a scowl. “Don’t I know you? Aren’t you that fucking whore bitch’s, husband.” She grinned, showing her yellow-stained teeth. “Or, is it that you’re that waste of space, Jake’s, little bum boy?”

  I put my hands up to try and placate her, “Ahh.... Lucy, right? Look, I’m a friend of Jake’s and I just want to have a chat with you about his daughter.” I looked furtively around the area, not wanting to cause a scene here in this rough neighbourhood. “Can we go inside and talk?”

  Lucy flicked her cigarette butt straight into my face and before I even had time to react, she kicked me squarely in my balls. As the pain shot up through my groin and into my stomach, I collapsed onto the ground mewling in agony. She stepped over and placed her foot on the side of my face, pushing it into the hard asphalt, grazing my skin.

  “Now you listen here, Mister Hoity-fucking-toity. You take your wounded pride and your wounded nuts and you fuck the hell off. You got me?”

  She stomped hard on my face and as I groaned in agony she threw a parting line before she closed the door, slamming it behind her. “And you tell that fucking cow you’re married to that she’s a dead woman if I ever get my hands on her. Ohhhh.... and one more thing. Tell little Jakey he’s late with this month’s payment, would you?”

  I lay there writhing in pain for several minutes before managing to stagger back to my car and safety. Nope, trying to reason with Lucy wasn’t such a great idea after all.

  ***

  Right, time to put in an appearance at my place. I was so looking forward to the “tearful” reunion between Jake and Molly. I was quietly hoping they would say or infer something that might give me a clue as to whether my death was an accident or deliberate that night. I still couldn’t be sure.

  I had no idea what their meeting was going to disclose, but not to worry, I had plenty of plans to shake them up if they were a little recalcitrant. They were about to find out that Danny boy was still very much around and still kicking.

  Time for a poltergeist perhaps ... I snickered to myself.

  ***

  Chapter 13 – Molly

  “Shit!” I cursed out loud, throwing my mobile across the room. Why the hell did I even call h
im ? I berated myself for being so stupid. Jake was on his way over here, now. I panicked. I couldn’t just leave the house, he knew I was here. I had to face him. I didn’t know what I had expected from that call. I had been so freaked out by the writing on the mirror. It had been my first reaction to call Jake. But his reaction had taken me by surprise, accusing me of sending some kind of text message to him... and from Daniel’s phone. Did he think I was desperate? If I’d wanted to speak to him, I would have called him earlier.

  Daniel’s phone? I suddenly wondered. I raced downstairs, as I was sure I had last seen it in the kitchen somewhere, in that bag with his other belongings. I hadn’t really touched any of it since… I brushed that thought away. I picked up the phone and saw it still had one bar of battery life left. As I moved through the menu, I found his text messages and gasped as I read two that had been sent in the last twenty-four hours. “What the hell is going on?” I yelled into the air, as though someone would answer me.