Warrior of My Own

by Knightley, Diana

  I stroked down his cheek. “I would never declare you dead, I wouldn’t...”

  His voice rose from the fabric across my thighs. “You will have tae someday and everyday tis true.”

  “You aren’t dead, you’re in my arms, flesh and blood.”

  “Aye, in your arms. If I am in the past, I am the past. If you are with me, you are my home, my future. You keep me alive.”

  I pulled his chin up so I could look in his eyes.

  “You really feel this way?”

  “I do. You ken I call ye, mo reul-iuil?”

  “Yes.” Our voices were whispers. His voice low and gravelly, mine alone and light on the air. “It means I’m your North Star.”

  “It pains me tae have ye so distant, guidin’ from afar. I need ye close whisperin’ your voice in my ear. You think I am leavin’ easily but I canna, nae without ye. And I ken tis bleak and hard and frightenin’, but I beg of ye tae have mercy on me."

  Oh.

  Oh.

  I traced my fingers down his cheek again and nodded. “You need me to go with you, I will.”

  His strong arms tightened around my hips, holding me so close.

  I pulled his face up cupped in my hands. “But we have to be together, Magnus. When you go get Sean, I have to go with you. I can help. I will. But you can’t just take me to 1702 and drop me off at Balloch and disappear. We only have one time vessel. We have to stay together.”

  “Aye, and I will keep ye safe, mo reul-iuil, I promise.”

  I wrapped my arms around the back of his head. “I know you will.”

  Chapter 9

  When we woke up, I was sprawled across his chest. Sleeping together was still new enough that we cuddled through it, and I had taken to sprawling on him using him as a pillow in some ways staking my claim. He slept pretty lightly and was usually awake when I began to wake as if he was waiting for me.

  I was going to pack today to go back in time with Magnus. I had done this before, by accident of course, but today I would plan, make lists, prepare. Much of the fear was gone. I knew what I was getting into, chamber pots and evil lairds, but also my husband — I caressed my palm over his taut chest, rounded it down his shoulders, felt him nestle his cheek to the top of my head as I rubbed along his bicep and down to his hand, big, strong, capable. I nestled my hand inside of his, sheltered. He would keep me safe. He couldn’t do it if I was here, alone, not really, and it was the not knowing that was making us crazy. We had promised to be whole together, forever, but had been apart most of the time and I barely knew him, still, but wanted to...

  The eighteenth century was just a time. I would think of it like a vacation. With no antibiotics.

  Remember to add antibiotics to my list.

  As if he read my mind, his rumbling voice asked, “You are makin’ a list, Kaitlyn?”

  I smiled up at his face, “How did you guess?”

  Chapter 10

  I was sitting with Emma making our shopping list. “I think protein bars or something, right?”

  I wrote: protein bars.

  “What flavors?” asked Emma.

  “I like ones that have chocolate. I think Magnus would like Cliff bars, also how about dried meat like jerky?”

  I wrote: chocolate, Cliff bars, dried meat.

  The good thing about Emma was that she had gotten so good at shopping for me she read between my lines. She filled in the blanks and brought back what I wanted, even if I didn’t know what I wanted at the time.

  “Um, what about your period?”

  “It’s due in two days.”

  Her eyes went wide. “What's your plan? You know how you get; it’s not pretty.”

  “I need a lot of Midol, extra-strength. Also a very understanding Highlander.”

  “Has he ever been around you?”

  I said, “No. I managed somehow to be married to him for almost a year without having to even discuss it. What are the odds? And what would they call it in Scotland in his time? Would they? Did they keep it a secret? Oh god, am I going to need to pull up a website and do a family planning seminar?”

  Emma was amused. “He probably calls it the Curse.”

  “Well in my case it would be totally true. I suppose when I’m PMS-ing on the back of a horse in the 18th century I can complain about it to Magnus in detail.”

  She giggled. “Poor Magnus.”

  “Poor Magnus? It’s my insides that will be mutinying. The least he can do is listen to me bitch about it.”

  She returned to our list. “A menstrual cup would probably be best. I’ll get you one at the health food store. Some Rescue Remedy and essential oils.”

  “Lots of Burt’s Bees lip balm. I need a locking metal lunchbox to put all the food and edibles in...”

  “Why?”

  “Rats.”

  She grimaced. “Okay, a lockable back pack for all this stuff.”

  I was listing furiously. “What about a filter with a water bottle?”

  “I could go to REI in Jax, Zach could go with me?”

  I said, “Let’s send Hayley for that. I need you here to go over the paperwork. Also Zach needs to make us food today, last meals and all for a while.”

  I wrote: Flashlight. New hiking boots. Also: Make the dress ready. Long underwear.

  Magnus interrupted us. “I have an idea, can we run through some drills?”

  Chapter 11

  A bit later we were on the beach with Quentin and Zach. “I want ye tae stand behind me like this.” Magnus set me in a guard position, knees loose, elbows out, a knife in each hand.

  His plan was this: if there was any trouble at all I would grab knives and get behind him. Back to back.

  I would protect his back and he would protect me.

  We practiced with Quentin and Zach coming toward us, sparring, circling.

  Magnus fought with his sword, two-handed, and when he swung I stepped closer to his body. When his arms arced the opposite direction I followed him. It was a little like dancing. I found his rhythm. It became an improvised choreography.

  When Zach came from my right I called, “left,” and Magnus’s sword swung to protect my left flank while I lunged toward Zach on my right.

  Magnus said, “Good Kaitlyn, call out your directions.” So I did, occasionally. “Right, left, left,” but it wasn’t always necessary. Magnus and I had a rhythm going, a flow. I felt his muscles tense. I could feel his energy pulse, his breath quicken. It gave me clues to how and where he was about to move. Without needing to see .

  My back brushed his and I felt a ripple effect as he swung again, hot and powerful. I lunged out protecting him from Zach’s practiced advances, and after knocking Zach’s sword away I felt Magnus arc to my left.

  I twisted right and lunged just under Magnus’s arm toward Quentin, and knocked his sword to the side, too.

  Zach laughed, “Nice, Katie!”

  Magnus was breathing heavily, a smile on his face. He nodded proudly.

  I was breathing fast, hard, that had been — awesome. I was fired up — excited, flushed, sweaty, and I really, really, really wanted my husband.

  Quentin said, “Need us anymore? I have some things to gather for your trip.”

  Magnus dragged his eyes from mine to say, “Nae, you can go. Thank ye, Master Quentin.”

  “No worries, I’m getting your luggage and a knife for Katie. I’ll be back by this evening.”

  Zach said, “I’m off to get lunch started.” He glanced at his watch. “Crap, looks like it will be a little late.”

  Magnus’s chest rose and fell with his breaths. “Tis okay, I can wait for it.”

  “See you guys at the house.” He walked up the boardwalk.

  Magnus’s eyes were on me, hard. He wanted me. I could see it in his expression, intense. I could hear it in his breaths, heaving.

  I dropped my knives in the weapons bag and his eyes didn’t move from me. “How bad do you want me Master Campbell?”

  His breath sounded like a
bull. “Verra bad, Madame Campbell.”

  He looked incapable of logic, so I took the sword from his hand and dropped it in the bag too. Then I walked backwards to the steps pulling him along behind me. Flirting, “How bad?”

  “Tis enough to say verra, because tis verra...”

  “Verra verra verra badly?” We reached the top of the steps, and I turned and bolted, laughing. “Last one to the room wins!” I ran down the boardwalk with him thundering behind me. I made it to the sliding door first and opened it to our bedroom. He grabbed my hips and held them tight to his front.

  I twisted around in his arms, “I beat you, you’re so slow.” I wrapped my arms around his head.

  “I dinna want tae win—” His mouth was on mine.

  I wrestled off his shirt. He tugged up the bottom of mine. It was all desperate and silly, and we were both sweaty and breathing heavy, and I was so freaking eager for him, and his yearning was right there plain under his kilt. I pressed against him with a laugh. “Oh you want me verra verra bad.”

  He lifted my feet from the floor and walked me to the bed, his lips pressed to my mouth. He dropped me to the mattress and I bounced giggling, quickly shoving my pants down. He shifted his kilt, fumbled with his belt under it, and dropped all the fabric to emerge naked, strong, awesome. He glistened from exertion but I only had a moment to see because he was on me, quick, hard, powerful, his body in mine, my lips on his shoulder, his salty taste on my tongue, the smell of him, god, in me, pushing, filling, and — how much do you want me? He was lost in the effort, me, my body. Eyes closed his body forceful, his voice a moan and not an answer, but I had my answer — so verra verra much.

  When we finished he said, “Phwesha,” and shook his head.

  I chuckled and kissed him on the beating pulse of his throat. “That was yummy.”

  “Twas,” he rumbled into my ear.

  “Is this how every battle ends?”

  He chuckled, low and deep. “Nae, have ye seen the men of my clan?”

  I giggled. “I have.”

  He softened and relaxed on my body. “They wouldna look nearly as well in your wee tight pants.”

  I laughed so much I snorted. Which got him laughing, warm in my ear. The full light of day in our room, air conditioner humming, our glass door wide open.

  Luckily no one ever walked to this end of the deck.

  “Speaking of pants, your butt is out for the whole world to see.” I smacked it playfully.

  “Aye, tis worth it, you are laughing, Kaitlyn. Tis good tae hear. I missed your laugh.”

  “We aren’t saying goodbye for once.”

  He kissed me long and sweet. “There has been too much of saying goodbye.”

  “I agree.”

  He rolled off me to the bed. “Let’s shower and get some lunch. We have a great deal of packing afore the morrow.”

  Chapter 12

  By evening our living room held a very large pile. Too much to carry, too much to need, but all of it completely necessary. Zach planned a big dinner, a seafood bouillabaisse with crusty bread, and we sorted and packed while we received goodbye visits from family and friends. My parents came by on a quick visit before going out with colleagues for drinks. They warmly greeted Magnus and seemed surprised that he wanted me to travel with him. It went against how they imagine our relationship was — green-card based.

  They accepted instructions from me: keep the business going exactly as I wanted. They understood when I explained that Magnus’s castle had no WiFi and phone service would be spotty. I told them it might be months and that if they needed me in an emergency Emma and Zach were my administrators.

  My father spoke with Zach. My mother managed to take my instructions without deigning to speak to him at all. Both my parents immediately went back to asking Magnus for his opinion on everything. And relentlessly continued though he asked me for every answer.

  It was one big confusing, exhausting conversation, full of lies and misdirects. Part of the drama of doing business with the family I supposed. When they left after tearful hugs goodbye, I about collapsed from the drain of it all and gratefully took the beer Zach opened for me.

  Hayley came by just after dinner. She bustled in and straight for Magnus. “This was not what I meant at all. I meant you should stay around, not take her with you.”

  I said, “That’s a fair point I made last night.”

  “Exactly, It’s not fair to leave her. It’s not fair to take her!”

  Magnus said, “I daena want tae live without her.”

  Hayley deflated.

  Then she looked outraged. “How am I supposed to argue with that?”

  “Exactly,” I agreed. “I couldn’t argue. He can’t stay, so I’m going to go with him. I’ll be back. It’s like a trip abroad.”

  Hayley flounced onto the couch. “What did he say to talk you into it?”

  I looked at Magnus not sure how much I could expose of his begging last night.

  He gave me a half-smile and said to Hayley, “I dropped tae my knees and asked her tae have mercy on me.”

  “Jesus Christ you are a romantic soul. Are all the boys like that in Scotland? Fine Katie, you can go. You have to bring me a present back though, like a gold coin or something. And don’t miss my wedding!”

  “You haven’t set a date yet.”

  “If you aren’t back by Christmas, I’m setting it. You’ll miss my wedding if you aren’t back. You’ll miss my nephew taking his first steps.” She gestured over at Ben in Emma’s arms.

  “Speaking of your groom, where is he?”

  She dropped her head to the back of the couch and dramatically sighed. “I can’t even, don’t get me started.”

  “What?”

  “He’s taken up cycling. He’ll be here in a bit. It’s freaking miles and I’m in the car. I’m driving here. He’s coming on his bike. His bike. Like he’s four years old. Plus, who’s going to be my designated driver?”

  Zach passed her a beer at that moment. “Baby brother is cycling? Like big helmet and tight black shorts with the padding on the ass?”

  She nodded ruefully. Zach stifled a laugh.

  Magnus asked, “Tight shorts?’

  Hayley said, “He has these little tiny shorts. So tight. Like yoga pants. You know, Katie wears them sometimes.”

  “Men wear these?” Magnus smiled at me chuckling about our conversation earlier. “Where would they put their...”

  Chef Zach finished, “Tatties and neeps? Oh they just tuck them in.” We all devolved into laughter.

  Hayley finished, “He’ll be here any minute, please no laughing. It’s cute how he thinks he’s sexy when he’s in his gear so don’t spoil it.” She glanced around at the pile. “Katie, how are you going to fit all of this in your tiny time machine?”

  “I have no idea. I need to find a shrinker first.”

  Chapter 13

  We went to bed late. Friends went home with many hugs and kisses. Midnight snacks were eaten. A lot of beer was consumed. My backpack was mostly packed except for some things still strewn around that would get packed tomorrow.

  Quentin gave me a small knife. It was as small as my hand and fit between my fingers. Its sheath was made to ride between my breasts inside my bodice which made me feel a little deadly and kind of sexy.

  My dress was hanging in the closet hallway, waiting for me to don it in the morning. Zach and Emma and Quentin were ready to run my household, my business, my life. It was a weird feeling to know I was going away for about a week but my family and friends would experience it as much, much longer.

  But I was only going away for like a week.

  Easy.

  Except it hurt like hell and I was not really, at all, looking forward to it. Actually I was really really scared to do it again. Pain was not my forte.

  Speaking of pain, my period was coming in like a day.

  I crawled into the bed dressed in a tiny T-shirt and my favorite comfortable panties and Magnus finished brushi
ng his teeth and crawled in after me. He wrapped around my middle nestling his face into my breasts. I folded around his head, my thigh over his hips. Pulling our fluffy comforter up to our shoulders. “We will miss our bed, mo reul-iuil.”

  “We will.” I pressed my cheek to the top of his head. “But we won’t miss each other.”

  Chapter 14

  Next morning we had a big breakfast with Zach and Emma and Baby Ben. My nervousness was growing. There was so much to think about, to do, but then again, everything was done. I was fussing with stuff. Did I put the checkbook out for Zach? Did I remember to put my birth control pills in my pack? What about one more pair of socks?

  Emma gave me a bottle of vitamins to take, “Full of B, for your, you know, epic menstrual-cycle dramas.”

  “Thanks.” I took a couple for the day and poured a few more out to pack for later. Then I noticed another bottle of multivitamins. I poured a couple in my hand and dropped them beside Magnus’s plate, piled high with oatmeal pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, and fruit. “What’s this then?”

  “Vitamins for you to take.”

  “What for?”

  “They make you strong and healthy and fill in the gaps of your nutrition.” His brow furrowed as he took a big bite of pancakes. “I daena have any gaps.”

  “It’s not meant as an insult. It’s nutrition.” I went to the kitchen to look through the drawers. Would I need a fork? It would be nice to have a fork just in case.

  “I daena need it, twill make me soft.”

  I shoved the drawer closed and looked at Magnus incredulously. “Make you soft? What the... Zach do you hear this? Magnus, polishing off a plate of pancakes thinks the multivitamin will make him soft.”

  Zach said, “I don’t know, I have to agree. Nutrition is better from food than pills.”

  Magnus gestured at Zach with his fork. “See?”