Surrendering

by Ahren Sanders

  I need to diffuse the situation quickly before things get ugly. “Um, Robbie, these are my roommates, Abbi and Ella. And this is Declan Collins, their brother.”

  I feel Declan go tight at my side and I wonder if I said something wrong.

  “RJ, I asked him a question.”

  Declan slowly releases me and starts toward Robbie who becomes tight right away. He raises his hand in gesture and says, “To answer your question directly, I’m Declan and I was telling Raven how glad I was that she’s home.”

  “With your tongue in her motherfucking ear?” I swear he’s spitting fire. “RJ! Your room now! Finn, you too.” He starts forward without acknowledging any of the Collins family. I reach for him and shove him into my room and everyone looks at us with weary expressions.

  “Raven,” Declan growls.

  “I’ll be right back.” I shut Finn and Robbie in my room and turn around with enough force to hit Robbie in the chest, sending him back against the wall. “You just embarrassed the hell out of me! How dare you?”

  “Who is that motherfucker?”

  “I think we established who he is; what do you want to know?”

  “Why the fuck did he have his hands on your ass and his tongue in your ear? Are you fucking crazy?”

  I take a minute to get myself together. I’m not sure how much I want to explain, but I know I’m on weak ground here. “We’re seeing each other. Nothing serious yet, but we are seeing each other.”

  He turns his attention to Finn and roars, “What the fuck, Finn? I thought you were watching out for her? Who is this douchebag?”

  I see Finn flinch, but only slightly. “Rob, I just found out myself, but I checked him out. He’s clean and I already know about the family. You need to calm down.”

  I decide right there that I need to have a talk with Finn, but at a later time.

  “How dare you?” I screech at both of them. “I like him. I’m not sure where this is going, but because of you, I bet nowhere.” I poke my hand in Robbie’s chest and push.

  “I’m able to make my own decisions. You need to go out there and apologize, now!”

  He looks at me for a brief second, “Finn, man, we need to talk. She needs to be safe and I don’t want her dating some street thug…”

  I lose it. “Fucking street thug? You are incredulous. Declan is a college graduate with a band. He’s smart, caring, protective, and hot! You need to go back to Mom and Dad’s and keep your ass out of my business! He wants to take his time getting to know me, meaning my interests, my friends, my school, and everything. I should kick your ass for humiliating me! You need to leave. Call me when you get your shit together.” Then I point to Finn, “You and I are going to talk tomorrow! I’m going to calm down, but prepared for an ass-chewing like you’ve never had before!”

  I turn to leave, but Robbie isn’t done. “RJ, I may have been an asshole, but you’re my little sister.”

  “For fucks sake, Robbie! I’m still a virgin and you’re still riding my ass. I finally found a guy I like and you’re ruining it! Get your shit together, walk out there, and shake his hand.” Dammit, I just told my brother I’m a virgin. I’m such an idiot.

  He flinches, but stares back at me. Minutes pass before he seems like he’s calmed down. Finn grabs his arm and starts out of my room. Finn looks at me with passion in his eyes, “I may have just found out about this, but I don’t like it. He seems like a good guy, but if he fucks you over, I’ll kill him myself. I’ll watch how this plays out, but you call me if you need me.”

  I nod and tears pool in my eyes. “Robbie, Finn? I love you both, but please don’t worry about me.” They both look at me and smile.

  We hit the kitchen and everyone is in a festive mood. Jimi, Tripp, Abbi, and Ella are doing tequila shots. They seem oblivious to the earlier drama. Declan’s sitting to the side with a beer and watching everyone around him. I walk to him and settle on his lap. He situates me so my head’s lying on his shoulder. I edge my way to his face and he looks at me. I press my lips against his, trying to display that I’ve missed him. He instantly moves his lips against mine and wraps his hand around my head. Someone clears their throat behind me and I look up. Robbie is inches away from us. I freeze again.

  “I’m Robbie Hayes. My sister tells me you’re seeing each other.” He reaches out his hand to Declan.

  It’s a declaration. Declan can either deny or retreat. But either way, the whole room has turned to watch us. I’m sure that Robbie has messed this up for me. I get nauseous again, but it has nothing to do with a migraine

  “Baby, move off my lap,” Declan says into my ear. He just called me baby!

  “Declan Collins.” He extends his hand to my brother and they shake. “You could say we’re seeing each other.”

  “She’s a part of my heart. We’re a protective bunch. You need to know when you date her, you date all of us.” He motions around the room. “She’s special and I mean that in the most emphatic sense. I would say it’s nice to meet you, but you have to earn it.”

  I almost die because all the boys have gathered next to Robbie. I try to step in, but Declan urges me behind him. “I’ve only known her a short time, but she has taken over my mind. I promise you, don’t worry.”

  I sink into the chair and watch this play out in front of me. Then I look at Abbi and Ella and their stunned expressions. I feel like I need to break in.

  “Um, guys, want a few beers before you leave?”

  Tripp steps up, “No, Raven Haven, we’ll get out of your hair. I have plans for us tonight. Glad to see you’re feeling better.” He turns to leave and hits Jimi and Finn on the arm. My brother stares at me and then opens his arms. I leap up and go to him. He gives me a huge bear hug.

  “RJ, be careful.”

  I swallow my tears; he’s used to being the man in my life. “I will, now please, leave before you scare off my possible boyfriend.”

  He leans over and whispers in my ear, “Possible boyfriend my ass, that boy just laid down for you. He thinks of you as his. And by the way, your roommates are hot!”

  I swat his arm as I walk him to the door.

  “TY, big brother. ILY.”

  “ILY too.” He responds.

  This is the way we communicated when he was away. I’m used to the abbreviated words that we used.

  I walk back to the living room and see that it’s empty. I hear Declan in the kitchen.

  “Girls, don’t panic. I’m serious about her. She’s amazing.”

  I want to hear more, but decide I need to break up the tension. I walk in the room and feel the heat at once.

  “Raven, come here.”

  I walk to his side. He situates me in front of him. I need to talk.

  “I’m sorry about my brother; he’s a little overprotective. He thinks everyone is out to get me, but he means well,” I say, pausing as I wait for someone else to talk.

  Declan starts first, “Don’t apologize; I have these two to worry about. I’ve tried repeatedly to beat the shit out of their boyfriends.”

  I look at both of them and notice they’re uncomfortable. I try to change the subject.

  “Dec, how did you know I was coming home? I thought you were hanging with the band tonight?”

  “Ella let me know you were coming home and I brought dinner. She may have mentioned you were starving.”

  I turn around and put my arms around his neck. I lean into his ear and whisper, “You gave up band night to bring me dinner?”

  He leaned forward, “Yeah, I have my priorities straight.”

  There’s a noise from behind me and I realize- again– we are not alone.

  Abbi says, “I’m going to meet Jimi and the guys for a few drinks. I’ll see y’all later.”

  “Rave, your brother is hot! I think I’ll go with Abbi. See ya,” Ella adds.

  They both exit the kitchen, but not before Declan says, “Be careful- both of you!”

  “Be cool, Dec. We won’t be back for HHHOOOUUURRRSSS!�
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  He laughs softly and I turn to face him.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey back.”

  He starts to nibble on my neck and I moan. In this position, I have full access to his neck and jawline so I nibble back. Soon enough, he’s looking at me with those eyes that make my heart race and my body heat up. I take a chance and slide my tongue over his lips. He immediately picks me up again and I lock around him. He carries me to my room and lies down on top of me. Without breaking our kiss, I start to move under him. I lift his shirt and he pulls away.

  “I was told you were hungry, are you?”

  My stomach rumbles loudly. “I guess so, but I’m enjoying myself right now.”

  “Sparkle, we aren’t quitting; we’re just pausing. I plan on coming right back here.”

  I sigh and allow him to lift me up. He leads me back to the kitchen where he serves me dinner.

  “How and when did you do this?”

  He grins slowly and looks directly at me, “When you texted Ella you were coming home, she let me know. I had everything ready to cook. I’ve been waiting for you.”

  I swallow and look straight at him, “You did this for me?”

  “Absolutely”

  “Why?”

  “Raven, I wasn’t kidding. I want to know you. You’re amazing in a way I can’t explain. This is all new to me, just let me know if it’s too much.”

  I reach under the table to squeeze his leg, “It’s not too much at all. I missed you these last few days. Do you have plans later tonight?”

  I see him swallow hesitantly and I instantly recoil. Of course he has plans; he is fucking DECLAN COLLINS!

  “No, I don’t have plans tonight. I was going to stay here.”

  My heart races with excitement and I blush. He’s planning on staying here.

  “Did you tell the girls you were staying?”

  “No, I wanted to talk to you first.”

  “Why?”

  He sighs, “Raven, I want to stay here with you and I don’t want my fucking sisters involved. Do you want me to stay?”

  Gulp.

  “I want you to stay with me.”

  “Thank Christ! We just need to put away the left-overs. Ella and I have a deal; she’s cleaning our dishes tonight so we can get some sleep.”

  The way he says sleep makes me melt all over. I help him put the food away and we head towards my room. “Can I bring in my stuff, or do you want me to change in the hall bathroom?”

  “Of course you can bring it in.” I tug him close enough to murmur in his ear, “You can shower in here as well.”

  He slowly looks me up and down before he speaks, “Are you one-hundred percent better?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you want to watch TV before we go to bed?”

  I swallow, I know what he’s asking, “No.”

  “Are you ready for sleep?”

  “No.”

  “Good, then let’s get ready for bed. I have a story for you.”

  After we got ready and changed our clothes, we get into bed. Declan tells me all about Saturday morning when he returned from football. He isn’t wearing a shirt again, but has athletic shorts on. They are silky against my bare legs and I’m having a hard time concentrating on his recap of the conversation with his sisters. Somewhere in the middle of the story he realizes I’m not paying attention. Instead, I’m rubbing my thighs against his.

  “You seem distracted.”

  “Are you complaining?”

  “Nope, but I’m a little worried about how long I can hold out here. I’m trying to be a gentleman. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

  “It was just a freaking headache. Yeah it was horrible, but it’s over now and I’m fine.”

  “Well in that case, talking is over.”

  He rolls on top of me and scoots me up so we’re eye to eye. We’re so close that when I lick my lips I feel his ring. He parts his lips and breathes heavily. It’s like he’s breathing his breath into me and I can’t stop myself from pushing forward, forcing my mouth on his. He rolls us again so I’m on top of him. His hands rub my scalp and he presses his whole body into mine. I feel every inch of him grind into me and I moan. He breaks the kiss long enough to stare into my eyes. “Please tell me I’m not imaging this?”

  “You’re not imagining this.”

  He goes back to kissing me, but slowly moves his hands down my sides and skims both breasts at the same time. My body jerks from the electric shock running through me. I lift up slightly to pull the sleep shirt over my head and look directly down to him.

  “You’re fucking gorgeous.”

  I blush slightly, but don’t stop. I continue to kiss him, but move to my side so he can hover over me and take his time exploring my body. I run my hands down his abs and rest my fingertips against the top of the shorts. Now is when I get shy. He feels me hesitate and stops.

  “We’re taking this slow. I’m hard as a fucking brick, but we aren’t doing anything you aren’t ready for.”

  I nod slightly, but I have to tell him something. I softly say, “Just because I’m a virgin, doesn’t mean I’m a nun. It’ll take some time to lead up to sex, but this feels right. Please don’t stop.”

  He looks at me skeptically, but lowers to kiss my neck. He drops down to lick and suck on my taut nipples, sending my body into overdrive. I can’t think straight, but I know I want to feel him. Moving my fingertips, I slip past the elastic waistband and gasp when I touch him.

  He chuckles against my breast, but doesn’t stop. He sucks one into his mouth and massages the other one gently. Since he doesn’t say anything, I know he wants me to say it.

  “What the hell is that?”

  He gets up on his elbows and moves over me. At this point my hand is still gripping the tip of him and I can’t stop running my fingers back and forth.

  “Well, my dear, it’s called a dick, or a cock, or a penis. It’s the part of the male anatomy…”

  I cut him off and start laughing, “I know that you idiot, but what is the metal ball?”

  “It’s an apradravya.”

  “You have your penis pierced? Oh my God, didn’t that hurt?”

  “Yes and yes.”

  “Why would you do that if it hurt?”

  “One day I’ll show you why I did it. We gonna keep talking about my apa, or are we going to get back to the good stuff?”

  I’m more interested in the good stuff so I lightly squeeze him and peck his lips. He lowers back over me and resumes his assault on my swollen nipples. At this point my panties are soaked. I want to feel all of him so I run my palm over his swollen head and continue down. He’s hot and I feel him pulsing. Then I take in the fact that the whole length of my hand has covered him and I still haven’t gripped the whole thing. Well, this may be a problem. Is it appropriate to interrupt foreplay to tell your potential boyfriend that you are certain he’ll never fit in you? Because I’m pretty sure he won’t like that fact.

  He must feel my hesitation because he stops and rolls us to our sides again.

  “You okay? Should we stop?”

  Shit, way to ruin the moment, “No, I just realized something.”

  “What?”

  “It’s kind of embarrassing.”

  “Raven, you have your hand down my pants and I left a hickey on your tits. I think you can say anything you want to.”

  “Well, I wanted to feel all of you and my hand isn’t even big enough. I don’t think you’ll fit in me.”

  He grins and leans down to my ear and whispers, “Raven, when we get to that point, I’ll make you so wet for me that it’ll fit all the way inside you. I’ll slide every inch into you while listening to you sigh my name in satisfaction. Don’t worry about it because just like everything else so far, I think we’ll be a perfect fit.”

  I’m not sure I can take anymore. I start to stroke him and feel the moisture bead at the tip. I run a finger over the silver ball and scrape my nails hard over his entire length.
He gasps and grips my waist. I don’t stop, but I move so I give him total access to my body sideways.

  “Dec, I’m about to explode, please…”

  “Fucking shit. Your nails are driving me crazy. I feel your touch all the way through to my balls. Don’t stop.”

  He moves his hand down my sleep shorts and looks at me briefly. I nod for him to continue and he moves under the drawstring until he reaches my swollen lips. His thumb runs over my clit while his finger gradually slides inside me. I can’t help it. I arch off the bed. This is what I’ve been dreaming about since I first met him. I feel him tighten, but I continue to stroke him, encouraging him to do the same.

  “You’re so fucking wet and tight. I can feel the walls of your pussy gripping my finger. When I make you come, I want to hear you.”

  He adds another finger as he continues to grind his thumb on my clit. I start to pant. I know he can hear me, but I don’t care.

  At this point, both of us are moving faster. I lift my head to lick his exposed neck as I increase the pressure on my strokes. He hisses and I feel myself tightening around him and I know what’s coming. Making sure he’s right there with me, I look at him and nonverbally tell him. He nods slightly and we both start to grind against each other’s hands. I squeeze as tight as I can around his fingers as I lift off the bed. My orgasm hits me with such force that I scream out his name and bury my face back into his neck. Feeling his release, I hold onto him as his hot sticky liquid shoots out onto my hand and his stomach.

  “Fucking, fucking, fucking, FUUUCKK!” He screams into my hair. He pulls my neck to him and I feel his heartbeat on my chest. His rapid breaths against my head start to slow, but I hold on until he stops twitching in my hand. I think he’s done so I loosen my grip, but he stops me.

  “Give me a minute, Sparkle, and I’ll get us cleaned up.” He removes his hands from my pants and licks his fingers. I’m turned on again.

  I run my fingers back over his tip.

  “Never in my life has this happened to me. I think I saw stars for about two seconds.”

  “You mean you’ve never had a hand job before? I thought that was pretty common for most guys age fourteen and up.” I know I’m being a smart ass, but it’s fun.