Surrendering

by Ahren Sanders

  His patience with me and no sexual pressure.

  Our fight and finding Sami at his house.

  His recent persistence to talk to me and forgive him.

  The quotes, the songs, the poems.

  The call this afternoon confirming I’ll meet him next week to talk.

  I finish and there is shock on all their faces. I don’t expect Abbi and Ella to say anything because I broke down a serious soft side about their brother, but Abbi surprises me. “Rave, he’s crazy about you. I know he hurt you, but he hasn’t shown this level of emotion since our mom died. I know you only dated a few weeks, but he’s been watching you since you moved in months ago. He crushed on you for weeks before he came over for dinner.

  “Now that I know all this, I see the signs. He would message us or call to see what we had going on at the house. He would ask if we wanted to all get together for drinks. He asked if you were dating. You had just moved in and I was determined to keep you apart, but now I know he had his sights on you before you even knew it.”

  “That’s all sweet and sappy, but let’s gets back to the dance floor. He got you off in front of a whole room of people and you still haven’t slept with him?”

  I swat at Charlie. I told her the whole story and all she focuses on is the raunchy and risqué parts.

  “I’m just thinking for that alone you should forgive him.” No one else says anything.

  “I know I need to talk to him and find out what happened. I miss him.”

  Harper is always the voice of reason. “Well, it’s settled. You’ll meet him next week and talk it out. Then you can forgive him and go back to the incredible, steamy foreplay. And then you can text us the details so we know what we’re missing.”

  The whole room bursts into laughter. Ella looks disgusted, “No offence, Rave, but I’m not the least bit interested in your foreplay.”

  “Wasn’t planning on sharing any more details; this was a one-time thing.”

  Someone’s phone dings with a text message. Abbi reaches for her phone and opens it. Van Morrison’s “Someone Like You” comes from her speaker. “Um, Raven there’s a message for you to walk outside.”

  The music continues playing through her phone as I walk onto the front porch. I gasp in shock. Our front yard is filled with hundreds of lit sparklers lighting up one by one. When the last one is lit, the message spells Forgive Me Please.

  I break into tears. I look around, but don’t see Declan anywhere. “Abbi, is he still here?”

  “I don’t know.”

  A shadow comes around the side of the house. “I’m still here.”

  I jump down off the porch and run straight to him. He bends down to pick me up and my legs wrap around him.

  “You came back?”

  “I never left. I’ve been busy here for the last few hours.”

  A few tears continue to fall down my cheeks. He reaches to swipe them away. “I know we need to talk and I need to give you a full explanation. But for now, can I kiss you and show you just how much you mean to me?”

  I whisper softly, “Yes.”

  He leans into me and places his lips against mine with hesitance. I tighten my arms around his neck and pull him in harder. He’s trying to go slow and sweet, but I need something deeper. I suck on his lips and then plunge my tongue back in his mouth with passion. I want him to know I’ve missed him too without words. Our mouths are fused together and neither of us wants to stop, but I need to breathe. As I slow the kiss, I remember we’re not alone.

  “Jesus Holy Christ, that was hot. I need a shower- or a vibrator.” I cringe and turn to look at Charlie.

  “Really, Charlie?”

  “Sorry, it just came out of my mouth. I’m going in now so you can continue to make out in the front yard. See you in the morning, RJ.”

  I turn back around and stare into Declan’s eyes. The others say goodnight, but I don’t turn around again. I keep my eyes on him.

  “I have to agree with Charlie, that was hot. I’ll be taking a cold shower when I get home.”

  I feel him through the lace on my shorts.

  “Oh my God, Declan, I don’t have on any clothes. This outfit is practically see-through. Put me down, I need to go inside.”

  Instead of putting me down, he moves back into the shadows of the porch.

  “One more kiss.”

  He kisses me again and then lowers me down.

  “I know you’re busy this weekend, but Sunday night you’re mine. I’ll text you tomorrow morning; sleep well, beautiful girl.”

  He walks me to the door and bends down to my ear, “I love your outfit.” He pushes me through the door and walks away.

  The place is dark and I know everyone has gone to bed. I reach my room and hear Kendall snoring loudly. As my head hits the pillow, I smile. I think I just forgave Declan Collins.

  Chapter 20

  Hoedown Throwdown

  Finn wasn’t kidding. Kendall and Harper’s phones have been blowing up all morning with messages from people that heard we’re dancing tonight. It’s been a long time since we were together and we used to have competitions all over town. I decide I need a new outfit so Charlie gets out of bed to go shopping with me. I need something tight and shiny that has enough give room for me to move. True to his word, Declan texted me this morning.

  Declan: Good morning gorgeous, hope you had sweet dreams. I slept better because of you. Will touch base later today.

  Me: Slept well thank you~ going shopping now w/ C. We have plans tonight so I will talk to you tomorrow.

  Declan: I have plans tonight too. Still will touch base later and R- thank you for being you.

  I don’t respond. We still have a lot to talk about, but I know in my own way that I’ve forgiven him.

  *****

  It’s almost time to leave for the club. We started getting ready two hours ago and I’m still not happy with my outfit. I’m wearing a pair of tight black shorts with fishnet stockings underneath and a tight aqua halter that Charlie says brings out the color in my eyes. I’ve thrown on my motorcycle boots with a low heel. My hair is curled and tied in a high ponytail. It’s teased to maximum velocity for sex appeal. A few tendrils cascade around my face. I’ve applied heavy make-up and decided on a red lip gloss. I look like a glorified hooker, but that’s to be expected. Harper and Kendall will have similar outfits so at least I won’t be alone.

  I walk into the kitchen and see everyone is ready. Abbi, Ella, and Charlie look hot in their normal club attire. At least if someone mistakes me as a call girl tonight, I’ll be with normal clad girls.

  “So tell me again, I think I was too drunk to understand last night. Explain what’s supposed to happen tonight.” Abbi says confused.

  Kendall gets really excited and launches into details, “Raven, Harper, and I used to dance together growing up. We took ballet, jazz, lyrical, modern, and acrobatics. When we were sophomores, we learned about Modern Street dancing or New Jacks Swing. We started practicing and worked our way to the show circuit. We performed all over town and even other cities. It’s a fun hip-hop style and the three of us rocked it.

  “Adam is our friend that DJ’s around town and he tries to keep us in the loop. It’s been hard with us in Atlanta, but when he found out we were here this weekend, he asked us to come down and dance tonight. There will be other groups too. Sometimes the crowd makes a competition out of it. Pretty much every dancer is excited just to dance with new crews. It’s not a completely choreographed sector. We have our own moves since we’ve danced together for so long.”

  Ella starts laughing, “Is this like the “You’ve Been Served” episode of South Park?”

  “Yeah, a little, but it’s not a true competition. Think of it as more like New York City street performers. Everyone’s there to have fun. You can judge for yourself in a few hours.”

  “So your friend Adam will be picking your music?”

  “He just plays for the floor. We can throw in suggestions though. With N
ew Jack Swing, you find a lot of eighties-nineties influence. Since he and Raven used to date, he knows what we like.”

  Shit! Kendall and her big mouth. I haven’t told them about Adam and me. “It was nothing really, we’re better off friends than we ever were as a couple. And besides, he got over me real quick.” I close the subject before anyone can ask any questions about it.

  “Did you tell Declan anything about tonight?”

  “No, I didn’t really know about it until last night when Finn called and told me Kendall planned this behind my back. We have so many things to talk about, and I think my dancing in a club is a very low priority. Besides, he probably has plans tonight and the East Nashville dance scene isn’t his style.”

  “Do you want me to text him?”

  I think a minute and decide this could be a very bad thing. Our dances aren’t G-Rated. “Abbi, I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Let’s just go have fun and tomorrow night we’ll see him at The Steamroom. He told me he left our names to get in.”

  She seems satisfied and we all head out to the car. It’s a tight fit in Kendall’s SUV. I’ll ask Finn to drive some of us home later. Hopefully Robbie isn’t with him tonight because he doesn’t handle this type of thing very well.

  We get to Scene 6 and it’s packed. Finn’s at a table with a few guys sitting around it. I push Abbi, Ella, and Charlie to them and tell them we’ll be right back. We need to go backstage and sign up and see who’s here tonight. As soon as we step into the room, I hear Kendall hiss behind me. Shit, shit, shit! The room is packed and I see tons of people we used to know including Kendall’s ex-boyfriend, Jason, in the corner. She must have seen him too. They broke up a year ago when he cheated on her and it took her six months to date again. Obviously, we didn’t know he would be here.

  When we get back to the table, Kendall is spewing. She’s screaming but I can’t listen to her because my heart just jumped into my throat. Declan is standing there with a frown as he takes in my outfit. I reach out him and bring him in close to hug him. I guess the initial shock wears off because he squeezes me back.

  “I would ask you what you’re wearing, but I see the other two are just as over the top. Is there something you want to tell me?”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to surprise you, but now I need to know what’s going on?”

  I start to tell him, but I stop because Adam is heading to our table. “Later,” I mouth to him and he nods.

  Adam approaches and he gives Charlie, Harper, and I a hug. Declan tenses behind me, so I grab his hand lightly and squeeze. I move up between Kendall and Adam. Harper is right beside me. Finn notices the tension and gets up to come around closer.

  “What the fuck, Adam? Did you set this up? Are you fucking crazy?”

  “Calm down, Ken. I had no idea. From what I can tell, all the groups found out y’all were dancing tonight through Facebook. I guess word got around. I’m sorry.” Adam stops talking and looks around to find me. “Raven, you look great.”

  I know Declan is already on edge. Even though we haven’t talked through everything, I don’t want this to escalate.

  “Thanks, Adam, but this is really shitty. You should have called to give us a warning that Jason’s here.”

  Kendall can’t hold back any longer, “It’s more than shitty; it’s fucking fucked up. That dick cheated on me with some skank. He made me look like a fool. I can’t believe he’s here.”

  Adam winces, “I’m really sorry. You can always stay away from him.” He raises his hands in defeat.

  She seems to soften a little, “Come here, you fucking weasel, and give me a hug.” He walks over to her and they embrace. I can’t tell, but I think she kisses him on the cheek.

  “Um, excuse me, but what just happened?” Ella claps to get everyone’s attention.

  “What just happened is that my dickhead ex-boyfriend is here and probably with the same bitch he cheated on me with. So tonight when we dance, I need to show him what he gave up. This just became a Hoedown Throwdown.”

  “Oh my gosh, this is just like South Park!”

  I turn to them, “I need to stretch like now so I can do flips later.”

  Finn pulls me to him. “I don’t like this. Who’s back there?”

  “I’m not sure who everyone is.”

  “I’m coming with you. I want to see faces and the registry list. Your parents will kill me if they find out about this. Remember the phrase “staying low-key”? This is anything but low-key. Kendall looks like she’s ready to detonate. What if there’s a brawl tonight? Your parents will kick my ass!”

  Declan asks over all the chatter, “Can someone please tell me what the hell is happening?”

  I take his arm and point to the table, “Abbi can tell you everything. We’re going to join the dance performance tonight with some of the old groups we used to dance with. One of the guys is Ken’s ex and he treated her like shit. I need to go warm up and get our music settled. Finn will be back in a minute if you have any more questions. But I need you to promise me something, say you promise.”

  “Raven, I’m not gonna promise you anything until you tell me what it is.”

  “Some of this dancing can get a little touchy and I’m not sure your jealous side will react well. This is supposed to be really fun and we have a blast, but I don’t want you to start a fight with the other dancers. Can you please stay calm?”

  He looks really unhappy. “Yeah, babe, I’ll control myself.”

  “We have a lot to talk about, starting with how you knew I was here, but we’ll talk later.”

  I brush a light kiss over his lips before I leave.

  The backroom is filled with people and I see Finn looking over the registry in the corner. He doesn’t like surprises when it comes to protection.

  Harper and Kendall are talking to Adam in a corner taking notes. “We like Black Eyed Peas, Usher, Flo Rida, MJ, Eminem, any type of hip hop…”

  He cuts her off and heads to the stage.

  *****

  The crowd is electrifying. Jason sees Kendall as soon as we join in on the second song. The three of us do a short routine we made up years ago to Salt-N-Pepa’s “Push It”. A large body steps up behind me and I use his chest as leverage to do a high leg kick that Kendall slides under. The big guy behind me lifts me so I’m facing him. After spinning me several times, he lowers me to the ground where I twirl back into the crowd.

  Adam does a mix of “Rump Shaker” with modern day “Low” by Flo Rida and we jump back in. This routine is much longer than the one before. A few people recognize it and jump in and out. I know I need someone strong to brace my weight. I see a guy watching me from the side and I raise my eyebrows to see if he’s interested in helping me. He nods back so I get ready. As soon as I get the sign from Harper, I spin toward him and land against his chest. He braces his legs and I jump up. He pushes me back so I can get height and then I fly through the air successfully, landing my back flip. I hear my friends cheering over the large crowd.

  I have little participation after that unless someone pulls me in. I see Kendall dismiss Jason twice before he quits trying. By the time Adam takes a break, my legs feel like jelly. I meet up with all our friends back at the table. All of Finn’s roommates had shown up while I was dancing. Tripp picks me up and swings me around. Gabe and Jimi do the same with Kendall and Harper respectively.

  Declan’s quiet, but when I sit down next to him, he smiles over at me. “Not a day goes by that I’m not amazed by you. You looked hot out there. I have some new images to keep me company at night.”

  I shake my head at him laughing.

  “You don’t think I’m serious, but I am. You are so beautiful.”

  Chapter 21

  Meet My Mom

  After all the excitement at the club, we decided to take the party back to our house. Everyone piled into the cars with Finn, Declan, and Tripp (driving Kendall’s car).Gabe and Jimi left earlier to meet some friends at another
bar. Kendall was still jazzed about Jason’s reaction to her dismissal and insisted all the girls do shots. After the fourth round, I was pretty buzzed and became flirty with Declan. I could tell he was enjoying the drunken Ravenel Hayes.

  I’m thankful that I stocked the house with liquor and beer because when we got home, everyone let loose. Even Finn got drunk.

  I knew we were having a coed slumber party so I grabbed the air mattress and all the extra sheets and pillows I could find. Once everyone found a place to lie down, I noticed Kendall had teamed up with Tripp on the couch. I motioned for her to join me in my room.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m sleeping on the couch.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I want Declan to sleep in your room with you.”

  “Don’t you think that’s a little too forward? Just yesterday we were broken up. I still need to talk to him. I don’t think it’s a good idea to have him in here tonight, especially with me this drunk.”

  “Raven, I love you, but you’re an idiot. That guy is crazy for you. I know you need to know what happened, but stop pushing him away. I like him for you. I’m not saying you should mess around with him, but the way you two looked tonight proves you’re good together. He’s too drunk to drive and he doesn’t look like he wants to share the air mattress with Finn.”

  “He does cuddle well…”

  “There you go. It’s settled. You get your hunk of love and I get the guys that will probably snore through the night.”

  When we get back to the living room, Finn’s passed out on the mattress, and Tripp and Declan are on the couch watching TV.

  “Um, Declan, it looks like you’re with me tonight.” His face lights up as he stands.

  Tripp grabs his arm and turns to face me. “RJ, he can sleep out here on the floor. Kendall and you will be fine in your room.”

  Kendall lets out a sigh, “Tripp, for God’s sake, they’re not going to have monkey sex in the other room. Everyone is drunk as hell and we’re not fighting about this.”