And the Bride Wore Black

by Helen Brooks

  ‘I’m fine, thank you,’ she said quietly as she inwardly mocked herself for the inanity of her reply. I’m terrible, Alex, she told him silently, and I don’t know why. I’m falling apart, can’t you see?

  ‘I’ve been abroad,’ he said slowly. ‘America. Only got back today.’ He stared at her silently.

  ‘I see.’ She nodded quietly. Say something, Alex, she said silently. Tell me you’re pleased to see me, that you wanted to come, anything!

  ‘I’m here to ask you a favour, again,’ he said softly, and she noticed that there were tight lines of strain round his mouth and a weary hunch to his broad shoulders under the black coat. ‘It’s Isabella.’

  For a brief piercingly painful moment she acknowl-edged that he hadn’t come to see her because he had wanted to but because he needed something from her, and then that realisation was pushed aside as anxiety for the old lady who had been so kind to her asserted itself. ‘What’s wrong?’ She stared at him wide-eyed. ‘She’s not—?’

  ‘She’s taken a turn for the worse.’ He brushed his hair back from his forehead and she noticed there was a grey tint of exhaustion to the handsome face. ‘John called me back from America because he was concerned about her and by the time I arrived she wasn’t too good.’ He flexed his shoulders tiredly. ‘I had a few minutes with her but she’s got it in her head that she wants to see you and nothing I said could dissuade her.’ You wanted to dissuade her, she asked him silently, you didn’t want to see me?

  ‘Would you mind coming with me again, Fabia?’ he asked softly. ‘I know it’s a lot to ask, feeling about me the way you do.’

  ‘Feeling about you...?’ she asked bewilderedly.

  ‘I know I’m probably the last person in the world you want to see right now, but it’s important to her,’ he continued slowly. ‘Could you put your dislike of me aside for a day or two? Please?’ His voice was infinitely weary.

  ‘Of course I’ll come with you, Alex,’ she said quietly. ‘Come inside and I’ll pack a bag.’ As she hurriedly filled her small overnight case she purposely kept her mind blank, numbing her emotions in case they let her down. He looks ill, she thought as she left her bedroom to find him waiting by the open front door, leaning against the wall, eyes shut.

  ‘Why didn’t you sit down?’ She indicated an easy-chair in the lounge, her eyes wide with concern.

  ‘If I sit down I’m worried I shan’t get up again,’ he said with a poor attempt at a smile. ‘I haven’t slept in the last thirty-six hours and I wasn’t sleeping too well before then. Don’t worry, Swinton’s driving.’

  ‘I wasn’t thinking about who was driving,’ she said sharply, and he winced slightly at her tone.

  ‘Not tonight, Fabia,’ he said softly. ‘I really do believe I’m at the end of my tether, so just be a good girl and come quietly.’ He smiled again but it didn’t reach the glazed gold of his eyes. ‘Are you ready?’

  Once in the warm interior of the big car he stretched out his legs with a weary groan, taking her hand in his as she sat beside him. ‘You don’t mind, do you?’ he asked with a nod at his hand holding hers. ‘I just need to hang on to something at the moment.’

  ‘Glad to oblige,’ she said lightly past the lump in her throat. He looked suddenly vulnerable, younger, quite different from the hard, ruthless image of him she had carefully built up in her mind over the last ten days.

  ‘That’s all right, then.’ Even as he murmured the words he was asleep, and as the weather worsened into the blizzard conditions they had endured on the first journey she was immensely grateful for the big powerful car and the solid Swinton sitting silently behind the wheel. More than once her heart was in her mouth during the long drive and although the backs of her eyes ached with tiredness she couldn’t relax, vitally conscious of the dangerous conditions and even more of the exhausted man at her side, his dark head resting on her shoulder. She tried to quell the tenderness that was uppermost as she glanced down at him now and again but it was a tide that was unstoppable, and by the time the car drove into the long winding drive her emotions were raw.

  ‘Alex.’ She shook him gently and he opened dazed eyes that widened on seeing her face so close to his.

  ‘Fabia.’ He had taken her mouth in a long slow kiss before she realised what was happening and for a moment time was suspended as they clung together in the quietness of the car. Then Swinton coughed loudly as he climbed out of the driver’s seat and opened the door on Alex’s side.

  ‘We’ve arrived, Mr Cade.’ Alex came to with almost a start of surprise and stared vacantly for one more moment before realisation dawned.

  ‘Of course.’ Suddenly he was the efficient executive again, out of the car and round to her side before she could move and taking her arm as they walked through the thick snow to the front door. ‘I must have slept the journey away,’ he said in tones of comical amazement. ‘I’m sorry, Fabia, very rude of me.’

  ‘Don’t be silly,’ she said lightly. ‘You were absolutely tired out.’ The feel of his mouth on hers was still with her as they entered the house, and its warmth stayed with her until they entered Isabella’s room and she saw just how ill the old lady was. The mauve lips tried to say her name as she leant over the bed but there was just the faintest whisper on the air and even that slight effort seemed to tire the tiny figure.

  ‘Don’t try and talk, Isabella,’ Fabia said gently. ‘I just wanted you to know I’m here with Alex and we’re staying with you until you’re better.’ She saw a glimmer of understanding in the tired eyes fixed on hers and then the old lady shut her eyes peacefully.

  It was a long night. Alex tried to persuade her to rest on the sofa he had moved close to the bed and she tried to coax him to do the same, but when both realised neither was going to budge they sat side by side in the shadowed room, talking occasionally but mostly dozing, an ease in their relationship that had never been there before.

  ‘This is real life, isn’t it?’ he said abruptly at one point in the night when Isabella’s breathing had become more shallow. ‘All the tinsel and glitter of that crazy world I’m involved with, it doesn’t mean a thing.’

  ‘Do you really mean that?’ she asked quietly, and he glanced at her from the corner of his eye, a touch of the old arrogance in his face.

  ‘Of course I mean it,’ he said flatly. ‘I’ve got no illusions about some of the people I have to deal with both on a business and social level but that’s life.’ He shrugged slowly. ‘My grandmother made sure from an early age that I knew the difference between right and wrong—on her terms, and frankly her terms are good enough for me. We don’t always see eye to eye, of course,’ he smiled slightly, ‘but our values are the same.’

  ‘But Susan?’ She stopped abruptly and stared at him, horrified that she had blurted out the woman’s name.

  ‘Susan?’ He stared at her, puzzled. ‘What has Susan got to do with anything?’ The tawny eyes fixed on her tightly.

  ‘I thought you liked her,’ she said quickly. ‘People talk, you know...’ Her voice drifted away helplessly.

  ‘Oh, I know all right,’ he said bitterly. ‘If anyone knows, I do! Susan is an old friend, nothing more. I find the children delightful but I’m afraid their mother—’ He stopped suddenly. ‘Well, let’s just say my grandmother’s initial feeling about her many years ago proved itself valid.’

  ‘Did it?’ The surge of joy that swept through her was so strong that she lowered her eyes swiftly, afraid he would read her mind. Isabella had been scathing about Susan and he was saying he agreed with it!

  ‘I’m afraid Isabella is not one of Susan’s biggest fans,’ he said drily. ‘Let’s just leave it at that, shall we?’ He glanced down at her bent head and when he spoke again his voice was deep and soft. ‘I’ve learnt that the best things in life are often the hardest to get, but when you succeed it makes all the effort and heartache worthwhile. The trick is to keep trying, not to give up even when it appears hopeless. Sometimes you have to step back a while, bide
your time, but that’s just tactics. Not defeat.’

  ‘I see.’ She stared at him, her violet eyes huge in the shadowed darkness.

  ‘I doubt it,’ he said huskily. ‘But maybe you will one day.’

  At some point in the night they must have both drifted off into a deeper sleep because the arrival of John with a pot of coffee at about six woke them suddenly. ‘How is she?’ Alex opened bleary eyes and peered up at John who was bending over the bed.

  ‘She is much better, thank you, Alexander,’ a feeble old voice croaked irritably from the depths of the covers. ‘And please don’t refer to me in the way you would to a female cat.’

  ‘Grandmama?’ As Alex rose and bent over the tiny figure Fabia joined him, and both breathed a sigh of relief at the pink tinge to the face that stared back at them crossly.

  ‘Such a fuss about nothing,’ Isabella wheezed testily, giving John a long sharp glance in the process. ‘I told him not to call you—a little rest and I knew I’d be fine. I was trying to juggle my tablets,’ she admitted with a slightly sheepish glance at her grandson. ‘I get tired of taking all that lot every day; I thought I’d cut down on one or two.’

  ‘Isabella!’ Fabia stared at the old lady in horror. ‘Don’t you ever do that again. That’s really stupid; you could have killed yourself.’

  ‘Nonsense.’ The bright black eyes had their sharpness back again. ‘And it’s brought you two here to see me, hasn’t it?’ The dark eyes held Fabia’s in a long considering gaze. ‘And you weren’t going to come back, were you?’

  ‘Of course she was,’ Alex said easily, unaware of the message passing between the two women. ‘And now we’re going to have some breakfast while you rest. And behave yourself,’ he added warningly as he took Fabia’s arm. ‘I mean it, Isabella.’

  ‘Just like your grandfather,’ the old lady muttered crossly. ‘Always thought he knew best, too.’

  ‘Mary has some bacon and eggs on the go, sir, if you’d like to go down,’ John said softly. ‘I’ll stay with Miss Isabella for now.’

  ‘Thanks, John.’ Alex patted the old man’s arm as they left and the lined face smiled back at him understand-ingly.

  ‘What on earth is going on?’ They had just finished breakfast and were sitting in weary silence staring out of the huge full-length windows of the breakfast room into the cold white world outside when Alex’s gaze sharpened on a small figure in the distance. Fabia had been feeling acutely uncomfortable for the last few minutes, regretting the intimacy that seemed to have sprung up between them as some of the old doubts and fears were resurrected in the cold light of day. He had asked her to come here for Isabella’s sake—fact. He hadn’t contacted her once since the Christmas break—fact. He was a very attractive man in a world of beautiful women—fact.

  ‘That’s one of my gardeners.’ As Alex’s voice interrupted her thoughts again she heard the note of concern in his voice. ‘And he’s only got one dog with him. They don’t usually separate.’

  They met the red-faced man on the doorstep and he took a moment to catch his breath before he spoke, Major bounding up to Alex with a bark of delight but then running halfway across the lawn before barking again loudly.

  ‘We’ve lost one of the dogs, sir.’ The man looked up at Alex anxiously. ‘My lad took them for a short walk this morning before breakfast, knowing how things were in the house, and one of them didn’t come back when he called.’

  ‘Where did he take them?’ Alex asked quickly as he turned back into the hall and reached for his coat.

  ‘Down by Sabre Wood, sir.’ The man raised a hand as Alex went to speak. ‘I know, sir, I know. I told him not to go there but the lad’s young and he forgot.’

  Alex swore softly. ‘Young be damned, Mike. That wood is lethal at the best of times with the bog and sudden drops in height. It’s been a no-go area for years. There are stretches there I wouldn’t like to wander into on a summer’s day.’ He turned to Fabia suddenly as if he had just remembered she was standing by his side.

  ‘It’s all right,’ he said calmly. ‘I’ll be back shortly. Keep an eye on Isabella for me and don’t tell her anything; she doesn’t need another set-back.’

  ‘Where are you going?’ Her voice was shrill with fear but she didn’t care.

  ‘You know where I’m going,’ he said quietly. ‘Minor is out there somewhere, either in the wood or the surrounding fields. He could be hurt or worse. You don’t expect me to leave him there, do you?’

  ‘I wouldn’t go, sir,’ the gardener said at the back of them. ‘There are some wicked drifts out there and—’

  ‘That’s enough, Mike,’ Alex said coldly. ‘You’re going to worry the lady unnecessarily.’

  ‘He could be dead already,’ Fabia said desperately. ‘You know he could.’

  ‘Or waiting to be rescued,’ Alex said softly. ‘Listening, waiting, probably scared out of his wits. I can’t leave him out there, Fabia, I’m sorry.’ He had pulled on a large pair of wellington boots as he was talking and clicked his fingers at Major as he straightened. The big dog bounded immediately to his side. ‘I’m tempted to leave him here for safety but he can probably guide me right to where Minor is,’ Alex said slowly. ‘I’ll be back before you know it.’ He touched her cheek gently with leather-clad fingers and then he was gone, down the steps into the snow, shouting orders at Mike as he went, with Major barking enthusiastically by his side.

  ‘Alex...’ She watched the two figures until they disappeared from sight and then started violently as Mary touched her shoulder gently.

  ‘Come on in, lass, you’ll catch your death,’ the housekeeper said gently. ‘I’ve made the fire up in Mr Alexander’s sitting-room and you can stretch out on the sofa there until he comes back—unless you’d like to go upstairs for a rest?’

  ‘No, I’ll wait in the sitting-room,’ Fabia said gratefully. It had Alex’s presence stamped all over it, and somehow she needed that security just at the moment. She felt sick with tiredness.

  She was convinced she wouldn’t sleep a wink but the next time she opened her eyes it was early afternoon and the weather had worsened if anything. ‘All the phone lines are down, Miss Fabia,’ Mary said worriedly after Fabia had wandered into the kitchen to find Mary and Jenny in a huddle by the window. ‘And the wind’s getting up.’ Fabia’s stomach knotted with fear.

  After a quick cup of coffee she went upstairs to Isabella’s room to check on the old lady and was relieved to find she was almost her old self, sitting up in bed in a quilted bed-jacket with her hair brushed into order and her reading glasses perched on the end of her nose.

  ‘Is Alexander awake yet?’ Isabella asked as she entered the room. ‘John said he was asleep.’ Fabia glanced swiftly at the old butler sitting by Isabella’s side.

  ‘Not yet,’ she said brightly. ‘He shot back from America to see you, don’t forget, and has only had cat naps over the last forty-eight hours. The poor man’s exhausted.’ As she spoke she glanced out of the window into the swirling, whining blizzard outside and her heart almost stopped with fear. He was tired and cold and he was out there!

  She turned back to see Isabella looking at her strangely. ‘What’s the matter, Fabia?’ the old lady asked quietly. ‘Is there something I should know about?’

  ‘Of course not.’ Fabia forced an easy smile to her stiff lips.

  ‘Come and sit by me, then,’ Isabella said regally. ‘I’ve got an old photo album here that might interest you.’ As the afternoon darkened slowly into an ominous dusk her fear became all-consuming. It didn’t help that Alex’s face was staring back at her from the photo album! Alex as a rosy-cheeked baby; Alex looking heartbreakingly vulnerable as he smiled bravely at the camera on his first day at school, painfully smart in his new uniform; Alex in his first long trousers; Alex going to his first dance.

  ‘Isn’t that Susan?’ Fabia peered more closely at one of the photos that featured a crowd of laughing teenagers grouped round a sports car.

  ‘Yes,�
� Isabella said calmly. ‘The car was Alexander’s twenty-first present from me. Susan was his girlfriend then, you know.’ She glanced at Fabia sharply. ‘It was just after that that he finished with her, if I remember.’

  ‘He finished with her?’ Fabia asked slowly, remembering the women’s conversation that night.

  ‘Hasn’t he told you?’ Isabella asked quietly. ‘He was no fool, my Alexander, even at that age. Susan wanted to marry a rich man and that’s what she did—after Alexander had told her they were friends, nothing more.’

  ‘I see.’ A sudden gust of wind shook the window and Fabia reared anxiously from the bed. ‘I’ll just see if tea is on the way,’ she said quickly to Isabella as she left the room, ‘and stretch my legs a bit.’

  ‘Look in on Alexander, would you?’ Isabella called after her. ‘I’d like to see him if he’s awake.’

  You’d like to see him? As she walked downstairs she realised it was now pitch-black and he was out there, in the worst storm for years, and she loved him. Strangely the realisation didn’t terrify her, considering she had been fighting it for weeks. He had been gone for over eight hours now and besides that cold fact everything else paled into insignificance. Mary had told her the wood was about an hour’s walk away—on a summer’s day. Even allowing for double the time owing to the weather, and then the return journey, that still left four hours—four hours too long.

  He had been mad to go, she had been mad to let him go, the world was mad! Why hadn’t she contacted the police, ambulance, someone? She took a deep breath as her heart began to pound painfully. She loved him and he’d never know. He was dead. She felt it in her bones. Why had she looked at him, even for a moment, in the same light as Robin? Would Robin go out into arctic conditions looking for a human, let alone a dog? She sobbed suddenly into the stillness. This was judgement on her. She hadn’t had the courage to reach out and trust her innermost heart when it had been telling her all along he was different. Maybe he would never love her, maybe she would just be another passing affair to him, but if she didn’t give them the chance she would never know, would she? She ground her teeth in an agony of regret. Physical attraction was a start, wasn’t it? Maybe she could make him love her, building on that?