Paradigm (Travelers Series Book 3)

by Lefeve, Claudia

He may not be worried, but I am.

  Lord help me, I kiss him again. Only this time, it was slow and purposeful, allowing myself to fully be taken in by his lips pressed against mine. I let myself get wrapped up in the moment and allow myself to give in to him completely.

  Then I realize what a big mistake kissing Cooper is. What the hell did I just do? My actions surprise not only myself, but Cooper, as I flee from the restaurant, leaving Cooper dumbfounded and Alex back in the dining room with the check.

  Back at my apartment, I leave a message on Alex’s voice mail apologizing for bailing out on dinner. I feigned being sick and left it at that. Hopefully he’ll buy it and allow me to make it up to him. Again.

  At this point, I feel like I’m being pulled in so many different directions I don’t know how to think for myself. Something I’ve always had control over was how I lived my life. My terms, my rules. Now it’s like everyone is making decisions for me. Cooper trying to change my world—literally—Alex making wedding plans, and even Jaime, trying to meddle in my relationships.

  Enough is enough, and I’ve decided not to let anyone dictate my future.

  Ugh! There’s that word again.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Love is a Many-Confused Thing

  Thornberry Reality 2017

  “You knew there was a chance this wouldn’t work, right?” Moose asks Cooper.

  It was a possibility Cooper hadn’t wanted to consider, but he knew his friend could feel the fearful emotions that radiated throughout his body. “Yeah, I know.”

  “Did you really think Etta is going to be moved by you professing your love? Remember, she has a boyfriend in that reality. Didn’t you think she’d only end up being confused?”

  Cooper looks to his best friend. “That was a possibility I considered, yes. But I didn’t really know what else to do. I thought by appealing to her emotionally, she’d be receptive.”

  They’d expected all the different scenarios, they expected the worst. That they’d wake up one morning and Etta would not be a part of their future. It had happened before, but this time the realization that their plan backfired again was just too much to bear, especially for Cooper. He woke up this morning without a wife and without a wedding ring.

  “She isn’t here today, dammit!”

  Perhaps he was a bit brash in crashing her date with Alex. Was kissing her a wrong move on his part? It no doubt shook her up, but then she turned around and kissed him right back. He took it as a sign that things were going to work out. Then she ran out of the restaurant and he knew he’d underestimated her reaction. He could hear her thoughts and they screamed: leave me alone.

  The hurt was more than he could bear. Both knowing she wasn’t here by his side and that he’d left the past version of herself full of self-doubt. It wasn’t just about having Etta here to lead them in their mission against Thornberry. It was about the love that they’d shared throughout the many years and countless realities they’d experienced together.

  “You don’t have to explain, I know how you feel.” Literally. Moose could feel the emotions poring out of his friend. He almost had to take a step back from Cooper before the blackness consumed him as well. “We just keep trying. I haven’t visited her yet, and I think I have a way of appealing to her sense of duty.”

  “And how do you plan on doing that?” Cooper didn’t doubt his friend, but nothing so far had convinced him that she would return to him. Today was proof of that.

  “We gotta go way back, my brother.”

  Cooper nods, already resigned to the fact that Etta may never come back to them—to him.

  Moose continues. “And you have to go back and correct whatever it is you think might have done to change her mind.”

  That meant Cooper has to apologize. He wasn’t sorry about the kiss, but he was sorry about putting Etta in a compromising situation. The last thing he wanted was to confuse her even more. He had to win her back.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Desperately Seeking Etta

  Present Reality

  Almost everyone who enters the law office has an appointment. And with Audrey in court (as usual), and the calendar pretty clear for the day (which is not so usual), I totally wasn’t expecting anyone to burst through the doors this early in the morning. Especially not Jaime.

  “Spill,” is the first thing that comes out of her mouth. Not so much as a “Hey, how ya doing? Thought I might stop by to say, hi.”

  “What?” I really have no idea what’s she’s talking about.

  “I saw you last night,” she accuses.

  “Last night? I was out with Alex. So what? Aren’t you the one who said I needed to work on my relationship?” I say, in between filing. Audrey had a fit if her client files weren’t properly filed ASAP.

  “That’s not what I saw.”

  I’m really beginning to suspect Jaime has some sort of crystal ball that tells her about every waking moment of my life. But I have a sneaking suspicion to what she’s referring to. I drop the file in the cabinet and turned to face Jaime. “Then what exactly did you see?”

  “You, locking lips with some guy.”

  It’s a good thing I already placed the other folders on my desk, or I would have dropped them on the floor. How does she know all this? “What are you talking about? I just told you I was with Alex. You must have seen someone who looked like me.”

  “It was you, and you were kissing that guy. Cooper. And don’t think for a moment that I don’t remember him. Trust me, I don’t think I could ever forget.” She flounces herself on the couch all dramatic-like, as if me being seen with Cooper was a personal affront to her.

  “Were you spying on me?” Forget the fact that she’s mad at me for something she knows nothing about, but to spy on me? That’s low, even for Jaime.

  “Of course not! But I probably should have. If I’d known you’d be fraternizing with Cooper, I would have started tailing you months ago. Shit, Etta, what the hell were you doing kissing him? And what about Alex? Where was he during your little tonsil hockey game, huh?”

  Jaime can be dramatic, but this goes well beyond her normal drama queen routine. How dare she come in and tell me what I can or can’t do? Why is she taking this so personally? It’s like she’s made it her mission to make sure Alex and I stay together.

  “You’re my best friend, Jaime, but you don’t know everything about me. It’s not what you think.”

  She’s not even that close to Alex and yet, she’s acting as if I were cheating on her. As if I don’t have any other pressing things going on, now I have to worry about her telling Alex about my kiss with Cooper. This is exactly what I was afraid of happening. People thinking they can control my life.

  “You’d like to think that, but I know more than you think. Actually, more than you possibly know,” Jaime went on.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Let’s just say it’s my job as your best friend to protect you.”

  Again with this protection stuff. She mentioned it the other night at happy hour. Maybe she’s forgotten, but I’ve been taking care of myself for years. If anything, I’ve been the strong one, with Jaime following my lead.

  “Yeah, about that. Why do you keep insisting it’s your job to protect me?”

  From the look on her face, I don’t think she was expecting me to turn the tables and confront her. I’m usually passive-aggressive when it comes to Jaime, usually allowing her to get her way just so I don’t have to argue with her. But not this time.

  “Nothing. Forget I said anything.”

  “No. You come storming in here, accusing me of something you know nothing about, expect answers, and yet you can’t answer a simple question yourself?”

  “Look, I said forget about it, okay? I’m just worried about you.” Her voice calms down a notch. “Just what exactly happened last night?”

  I sigh. “Fine. You were right. It was Cooper there at the restaurant last night. But you should know he kissed me.
Not the other way around.”

  “From where I was standing, it looked like you enjoyed it.”

  I don’t say anything. How can I refute that? I totally enjoyed kissing Cooper, but that’s not the point, so I ignore her accusation. Did she even notice the part where I ran out of Alessandro’s after I kissed him? If she had, I doubt we’d be having this conversation.

  “Etta, do you remember how he stalked you around town back in high school and now he’s back?”

  What am I supposed to say? That Cooper’s really from some future reality and he’s trying to recruit me to join some rebellion to take over some egoistical war monger? “I know. He just caught me by surprise. Ambushed is more like it. But don’t worry, I let him know I was there with Alex, so he left me alone after that.” Okay, it’s partly the truth. Cooper did take me by surprise showing up after all these years. Jaime just doesn’t need to know he approached me days ago. “What were you doing around Alessandro’s anyway?”

  Damn it! Cooper shouldn’t have been there. While I don’t really mind him popping in and out of my life, the only thing he did was make everything just that more confusing for me. My feelings about Alex, my existence in this world. And to what end? All so that I can be a part of a future I’m not even sure I belong in? At this point, there’s nothing that can convince me to go back to the future with him. I just don’t see how I can.

  But she seems to be buying my concern over the whole situation. “Oh, that. Well, Alex told Brett that you two were going there for dinner. We tried to catch up with you guys for drinks at Cashen’s afterwards, but we were running a bit late. When we finally showed up, I caught you, well, you know.”

  “And now you know what really happened. Why do you care if I talk to Cooper anyway?” Then something dawns on me. “Do you know something about him I don’t?”

  • • •

  I’m still seething after I met with Jaime this morning. What the hell am I going to do now that she knows Cooper’s back in my life? I can’t continue to lie to her and I can’t entirely trust her to keep this information to herself.

  Even though my mind is made up, what if I did decide to take Cooper up on his offer to go with him? What do I tell her then? Not that I owe her or anyone else any explanations. But I would definitely owe one to Alex. And what about him? If I’m honest with myself, I know that it’s not just about me, no matter what Cooper says. My decisions affect everyone around me, even if I am mad at Jaime. She’s still a big part of my life.

  The rest of the day is pretty boring, seeing that we didn’t have many appointments, so I close up and head home. Just how exactly did my life turn upside down? As I walk down King Street, I take in all the sights around me. Tourists enjoying overpriced ice cream, window shopping at upscale boutiques they can’t afford to go into, simply enjoying the pleasant summer evening. Others are rushing to meet friends for dinner, while locals are walking their dogs after a hard day at the office. It might be the end of May, but the nights are still crisp and cool; everyone is taking advantage. I feel sorry for them almost. Everyone is oblivious to the fact that there are worlds beyond this one. For a brief moment, I wish I were like them—clueless.

  I round the corner that leads to my small apartment, and that’s when I see him. Cooper sitting on the curb, waiting for me to come home. After what happened last night, I’m not sure I want to see him.

  “What is it now?” I ask as I approach him on the curb.

  “I want to apologize for last night. I shouldn’t have ambushed you at the restaurant and I certainly shouldn’t have kissed you.”

  I’m grateful he doesn’t mention the fact that the second kiss was all me and that I ran out of the restaurant like a coward. “Yeah, about that.”

  “I should have been a little more honest about our relationship, darlin’, but I didn’t want you to get confused.”

  Confused? Kind of late for that now. I’m plenty confused. As if anything he’s mentioned so far makes any sense. “So tell me. What about us?”

  This time, he doesn’t smile, which worries me. Not that I’d tell him or anything, but his smile always make me feel like whatever happens, everything is going to be okay. He looks defeated, maybe a little hurt.

  “I love you, Etta. And last night, I guess I went a little overboard trying to convince you that we have those feelings for each other.”

  I don’t need convincing that there’s more between us than he was letting on. “It’s that spark.” That damned electric chemistry that not only heats up at the sight of him, but magnetizes me to him. There’s probably some scientific principle that states you can’t be electric and magnetic, but in our case we defy logic.

  “Well, it’s a little more than that, but yeah. We’re connected, darlin’.”

  That may be true, but is it really me he’s connected to? When you think about it, we don’t even know each other, really. But I can’t ignore the dreams I’ve had about him, nor the fact that my body heats up when I’m near him. A thought occurs to me—does this mean he cheated on the future me with present me last night?

  “I know it seems sudden to you, but in future time, we’re together.”

  Once again, it’s like he can read my mind. “Then what does that mean for me? Here in this time, in this reality?”

  He looks up at me from where he’s still sitting and I can see the pain in his eyes. “I don’t know. The Etta I love is you, only we haven’t gotten to that point in time. Every time there’s a rift in the timeline, I’m in danger of losing you forever.”

  “So all this, you coming here, is more than just me going to protect the future?”

  He nods as he rises to meet me. “Yes.”

  I don’t say anything for a moment and realize that he’s going through a whole lot of trouble just to make sure we stay together in the future. “Where does that leave us now?”

  “That’s for you to figure out. Just know that there is no future us without you,” he says. “I’ll leave you alone now to think about it.”

  I’m still standing in front of my apartment thinking about what he just said. Once again, I’m saddled with questions. What about Alex? Does being with him change the way I feel about Cooper in the future?

  No. I don’t think it does.

  • • •

  Did I mention I was the worst girlfriend in the world? Well, I still feel that way as I turn down Alex’s offer to go out tonight. He seems a little disappointed, but I’m not in the mood to put on a happy face and pretend like nothing’s going on. It’s better this way. At least for now. Once all this blows over, I’ll have plenty of time to make it up to him.

  But do I want to make things right with Alex? That’s the million dollar question.

  So instead of going out, I drown my sorrows in a tub of Ben & Jerry’s—Chocolate Therapy, to be exact. As much as I dreamed about having a different life growing up, I don’t know that I’m prepared for a new one now that it’s staring me right in the face. And Cooper’s revelation earlier this evening doesn’t help matters. All I have to do is accept everything and bam! I have a whole new life.

  My mind is being pulled in so many directions, I feel like a politician that flip-flops on the issues. Do I ignore what my heart tells me to do, or do I stick with the status quo? Every day my mind seems to change and I can’t make heads or tails out of any of it.

  But here’s what I know: I am from a different reality, I have an aunt named Maggie, and somehow, I was supposed to return to my real world four years ago. And here are my questions: Does Cooper ultimately end up being something more to me in the future? Why is it so important for me to go back? What does this mean for me and Alex? But the burning question is how much does Jaime know that she’s not telling me?

  I take another bite of my ice cream. Whoever said chocolate is the best therapy is right. How did everything get so screwed up? I spent years struggling with a system that couldn’t control me, and I’ve spent the last couple years finally achieving some stability i
n my life. I have a decent job, a great boyfriend, and a best friend I can turn to for anything—at least I used to think I could turn to Jaime. Now? I’m not so sure I have any of those things, except maybe my job.

  I feel like Alice in Wonderland. Do I drink the potion or eat the red pill? Or was that the Matrix? Now I know I’m confused. I can’t even get my fiction straight anymore.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jenny, Interrupted

  Present Reality

  The Present / Alternate Timeline

  Work was a total madhouse today, with the phone ringing non-stop and the endless motions that had to be filed in court. Audrey had me running around all day, without a moment to myself. So, tonight, I decide a little happy hour is in order. I’ve earned it.

  Only, by the time I get to Cashen’s, I lose my second wind and order my usual Diet Coke. I don’t want to feel like I walked all the way over here from the office for nothing. Still, it’s nice to sit back and enjoy the scene in front of me. The least I can do is order something before I decide to go home.

  A voice from the past catches my attention, and I turn towards the sound of the high-pitched shrill. I’d know that voice anywhere.

  “You don’t have any Mexia beer, but you serve that skunky tasting beer you call a Mexican import?” Jenny’s voice goes an octave higher as she berates the bartender.

  “I’m sorry. It’s the only import we have. What about a Miller Light?”

  Jenny grimaces. “Seriously? I ask for a premium Mexican beer and you try to offer me a watered down domestic version? Whatever, I’ll just take a margarita on the rocks, hold the sweet and sour mix. Oh, and the rocks.”

  As I overhear the conversation, I try not to giggle. I don’t want to alert Jenny that I’m sitting next to her. From what I remember, the girl strives on attention, and I don’t need to add fuel to the flame. As I watch the bartender make her what is essentially a glass of tequila—neat—I wonder what she’s doing here at Cashen’s, anyway. This doesn't seem like her type of place. Judging by the way she’s dressed, it looks like she’s going to a wedding. Granted, I haven’t seen her since high school, but she strikes me as more the Georgetown type.