Color Blind

by Gardin, Diana

  Cooper

  The fact that she trusts me enough to call me when she is scared…means something to me. That means that she wanted me to comfort her, to be there for her. And there’s nothing in this world I want more than that at this point. It’s taken forever for her to see what I saw from the beginning. But she finally does, and my emotions are on an amusement park ride as it hits me.

  I’ve dated in the past, but no one has ever stood out in my heart the way Camryn does. Something was different when I saw her in the hall that first day. She changed me, caused me to stop thinking about myself and start thinking about someone else and how to make them happy. I know I still haven’t made her happy, but she’s finally going to give me the chance to do it. And I can’t wait.

  She never actually said that we were going to be together. But I could feel the shift in her. The kiss on the beach was ingrained in her now as much as it is in me. We’re inevitable, me and Cam. And nothing has made me as happy as that fact, ever.

  I can’t put into words how this girl makes me feel. Talking to her on the phone at 4AM…I never thought I would be so excited to see someone’s name on my caller I.D.

  When I arrive home at sunrise, I fall asleep again with a possibly permanent smile on my face.

  ***

  “Cooper?”

  I open my bedroom door to discover my aunt standing just outside it.

  “Hey Aunt Stacey,” I greet her. “What’s up?”

  She wrings her hands like she’s nervous about something. From what I have gathered about my Aunt Stacey since moving in with her, she isn’t a nervous kind of person.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  Her brow wrinkles. “Nothing’s wrong, exactly. It’s just…your mom called. She’s coming into town today.”

  “She is?” I ask, breaking into a wide smile. “That’s awesome. Right?”

  She smiles back at me. “Right. You’re okay with that?”

  “Yeah, of course. It’s great. I’ve been wanting her to hurry and finish up there so she can move down.”

  “I don’t think she’s coming for good though, Cooper. She said she was coming for a quick visit, that she still had some things to take care of up North.”

  That’s weird. I know she has some things to finalize with her divorce lawyer and she wants to pack up our apartment. But our apartment is tiny. She could have packed it up in a few days.

  What the hell is she doing?

  “Well, I’m staying home today, then,” I say. “I don’t want to miss her if she’s not staying.”

  “Okay,” Aunt Stacey nods her head in agreement. “Come have some breakfast, okay?”

  Camryn’s face flashes through my head and I feel a pang of disappointment. I’m not going to get to see her today. Seeing her every day had become a part of my daily routine, something I expected. Something I looked forward to.

  I’ll miss her.

  But I am determined to find out what my mother is up to. Something isn’t right, and I want to know exactly what it is.

  Chapter 10

  Truth

  Camryn

  I feel compelled to provide Luka with complete honesty; I asked him to meet me at school early so we can talk.

  It’s time for me to face up to what I really want, and to tell Luka how I feel.

  Dara and I pull into our usual parking spot. Brandon and Luka are waiting for us, standing next to Brandon’s Jeep.

  Dara reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Are you sure you want to do this? Make sure you’re making the right decision, Cam, before you break Luka’s heart.”

  “I know I’m making the right decision, Dara,” I snap. Then I shake my head. “Sorry.”

  She shrugs, frowning at me.

  “I just know what my heart is telling me. And I have to follow it. I can’t just keep doing what I think everyone else wants me to do. It’s time for me to be happy, no matter what everyone else thinks.”

  “I understand that,” Dara says. “I want you to be happy, too. But just think for a minute. If Cooper had never arrived here, had never pulled up on his sexy motorcycle with all his leather and hotness, would you be letting a guy like Luka slip through your fingers right now?”

  “I can’t even follow that line of thought, Dara, because that’s not how it is. Cooper did ride up in all his leather and hotness. And it’s not even just about that. There’s a side to him you haven’t seen yet. He’s sweet. And he holds me steady. And I didn’t realize how desperately I needed that steadiness until I met him.”

  She studies me for a minute. She nods, her blonde hair catching the sunlight glinting off the side mirror.

  “I’m with you, girl,” she says. “You know that. Do what you feel you need to do.”

  When we get out of the car, Brandon sweeps Dara into his arms and carries her, giggling, into the school building.

  I watch them go, a little wistfully. Will I have that with Cooper? He doesn’t know I’m ending things with Luka today. I don’t even know how he’ll react. Maybe he doesn’t want me to do his, like I think he does. Maybe Dara is right, and I’m hurting Luka for a possibility rather than a sure thing.

  It doesn’t matter. Luka deserves the truth, whether I end up with Cooper or not. He still needs to know that he’s not what my heart needs. And it’s going to break his.

  “Hey,” I say softly, sidling up next to Luka. His dreadlocks swing in my direction as he turns to look at me. He looks good enough to eat this morning. A thermal sweater hugs the muscles in his arms and chest. Its burnt orange color looked amazing on his light-skinned complexion. And his light brown eyes are holding mine. I heave a sigh, and leaned against Brandon’s car beside him.Crazy girl. What are you doing?

  “Hey,” he replies. “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” I swallow. “I’m fine, Luka. I wanted to talk to you. About us.”

  “Oh yeah? I can tell you’ve cooled off since the bonfire. You want to tell me what happened that night?”

  “It’s not so much that something happened that night, Luka,” I say, my cheeks burning with shameful fire. “It’s just that I finally figured out what I want.”

  “And it’s not me?”

  He’s so straightforward. I was hoping to build up to this.

  I look down at my red flats, digging a dent into the gravel using my toe. “I don’t know what to say. It wasn’t anything you did. I think you’re amazing, and I know how many girls at this school will think I’m a fool for having this conversation with you.”

  He flicks a hand toward the school building. “I’m not worried about them. I’m worried about you. I care about you, Cam. I could be good for you, if you’d just let me.”

  “You are good for me, and to me. But I’m not for you.” I inhale deeply and let the breath go, slowly easing the air out of my lungs. It’s painful, and I wince. “I’m going to give things a try with Cooper.”

  I close my eyes momentarily, not wanting to see the pain that will surely reflect back at me from Luka.

  “Guitar boy? Really, Cam? If he’s what you want…I can’t stop you. But he doesn’t know you like I do, Cam. He can’t. Y’all have nothing in common.”

  “Really, Luka? Do you know me at all? We have everything in common. We’re both—okay, I’m not going to get into this with you. I came here to tell you how I was feeling and I’ve done that. I want us to be friends. I want you in my life. You were right when you said you’re good for me.”

  Luka turns so that he’s facing me, and cups my chin in his hand. “You’re making a mistake, Princess. And when you realize it, guess where I’ll be?”

  “Where?” I cringe, waiting for him to tell me he won’t be anywhere near me when that happens.

  He kisses me. Long and slow. I’m caught up in it before I know what’s happening. When he lets go, he smiles.

  “Right here.”

  ***

  It turns out that Cooper isn’t in school today. I nearly go crazy, trudging through class after class, waitin
g for school to end so that I can tell him what I’ve done. I think about texting him, but I really want to give him this news in person. I am finally ready to give a relationship with him a chance. When I get into my car after school sans Dara, since she grabbed a ride with Brandon, I decide I can’t wait anymore.

  I sent him a text:

  Camryn: Want to see you. Could I stop by?

  While I wait, I realize I have no idea where Cooper even lives. My phone buzzes, and I look down.

  Cooper: Aw. You coming to check on me?

  I smile, and type back.

  Camryn: Full of yourself? I’m bringing you your lit homework.

  I wait, toying with my phone.

  Cooper: Yes. Please come over. I missed you today.

  Another smile tugs at my lips as I ask for directions.

  When I pull up to Cooper’s aunt’s house, I’m blown away. She lives down by the beach, in an area known as Tega Shores. It’s a gated community where each house is multi-leveled and balanced on stilts at the water’s edge.

  The front of the house is almost completely covered by a glistening wall of windows. The windows reflect the sun’s late-afternoon rays, glinting as I drive up in the driveway. I pull through the circular driveway until I am in front of the massive, beveled glass double front doors. A sand-colored stone arch encases the doors; a cascade of steps leads up to them. I look around. Cooper’s bike is nowhere to be seen. Do I have the right house?

  No sooner has that thought crossed my mind than one of the enormous front doors swings open and Cooper steps out into the bright sunlight, wearing dark jeans and a white v-neck tee.

  Good Lord. The boy very nearly steals my breath when he looks like that.

  As I step out of my car, he jogs down the steps toward me. He stops in front of me and leans casually against the car.

  “Missed me, huh?” he muses.

  I sock him hard in the arm. “Not particularly. I only knew you’d practically fail Lit if you missed a single day of work, so I brought you some.” I gesture toward the notebook on the front seat of my car.

  He steps in close. Close enough for me to smell the spicy scent that wafts from his skin to my nose. “Liar.”

  I swallow, trying to stay upright as my heart lurches dangerously In my chest. “So, um, why weren’t you at school today?”

  He pauses and glances back up at the massive castle I know to be his aunt’s house. “Family drama,” he replies. “My mom blew into town today, and she brought her issues and baggage with her.”

  I watch him run a hand through his hair, which I now recognize as a frustrated gesture for him.

  He glances up again and then looks back at me. “Do you want to go for a ride?”

  “Sure,” I say. “Let me just clear off the seat—“

  “Cam,” he says, an amused smirk sitting on his face. “I meant, on my ride.”

  “Your bike?” I squeak.

  It’s not that I’m afraid of motorcycles exactly; I’ve just never ridden on one before. And the close proximity to Cooper might make me fall off the damn thing.

  “I’m dying to get you on the back of my bike,” he admis.

  “Okay.”

  Yeah. I resist really hard.

  His face lights up, and he pulls me to a stone walkway I haven’t noticed before now. It leads around to the back of the house, and a huge three-car garage which houses Cooper’s bike, an expensive black sedan, and a luxury silver SUV.

  From a hook on the wall, Cooper produces a small, fitted black leather jacket. He pulls a second helmet from a shelving unit nearby.

  I raise my eyebrows.

  “The jacket’s my aunt’s,” Cooper explains.

  I try it on, and it fit perfectly. I smooth the jacket over my jeans, and put on the helmet he holds out for me. I’m almost transformed. Like a different person than the elite dancer with perfect grades who arrived here.

  When I turn to ask Cooper if I’m ready, I stop short when I see the frozen expression on his face.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask. I nervously smooth the jacket down, self-conscious in the unfamiliar gear.

  “I—uh. Nothing, I just—“ he stops, and shakes his head. “Dammit, Cam. You’re fucking gorgeous.”

  I’ve never heard Cooper Goode less than completely sure of himself. The fact that I may make him just as anxious as he makes me is comforting and a little exhilarating.

  He shakes his head again, and steps closer to me. He takes off my helmet and his green eyes instantly paralyze me as they study mine.

  “You’re like, on another level of breathtaking,” he whispers. “You destroy me.” He leans down, and brushes my lips with his.

  If I destroy him, then Cooper has mangled my psyche beyond recognition.

  Chapter 11

  Official

  Coasting down Ocean Avenue on the back of Cooper’s bike is like an out-of-body experience. I am free, freer than I’ve ever been. The wind in our ears makes it impossible to talk, but with my arms wrapped tightly around him, I am closer to Cooper Goode than I have ever been to anyone.

  We ride down the busiest portion of the Strip, passing jewelry stores, tattoo parlors, and beachwear shops. Then we cruised past hotels and restaurants with eclectic facades and glossy walls of windows. The amount of businesses on either side of us shrinks until I am staring out at ocean on my right and bay and marshland on my left. Cooper signals that he is going to pull over, and we come to a stop at the foot of a bridge that overlooks the wide Atlantic Ocean. I look out over the churning water.

  I’m experiencing a picture of what my heaven will be like. The ocean will be present, and the sun and sand, and so will Cooper.

  Cooper takes off his helmet and walks around the bike until he’s standing behind me. He wraps his arms around my waist. I lean back into his strong chest, and I truly am in heaven.

  No. I am home.

  “I’m sorry I kissed you like that earlier. I couldn’t help myself. I know you’re sort of taken.”

  “Actually, I’m not. Sort of taken, I mean. I’m not taken at all. I told you that at the bonfire, remember?”

  “Oh yeah?” His expression is dubious. “I’ve seen you with Luka. You two look…together.” Cooper turns me around in his arms and focuses intently on my face. His eyes drift down to my lips, and then shift back to my eyes.

  “That’s why I wanted to see you. I told Luka it was over between us. Today.”

  He sucks in a sharp breath. “Are you for real?”

  I smile up at him nervously. “I’m for real. I like Luka. But he’s not the guy for me. He knows that now.”

  He grabs me in a bear hug, so quickly I don’t have time to get my arms around him. I laugh into his shoulder.

  “Who is the guy for you?” he asks. His voice is muffled as he speaks into my neck.

  “I don’t think I need to answer that question.”

  He pulls his head out of my neck, gazing down at me. “I do need you to answer that question. I want to be perfectly clear.”

  “You are. If you’ll have me. You’ve always been the guy for me, somehow.”

  He scoops me off my feet and squeezes me tightly against him, spinning me around in a jubilant circle.

  “I take it this is happy news for you?” I ask, giggling.

  He whispers in my ear. “It’s the best news. I can’t believe you’re real, and I found you.”

  I sigh, feeling like I’ve won some kind of guy lottery. Where did this boy come from? He seemingly walked into my life out of nowhere, and now I can’t picture it without him.

  “I know the feeling,” I whisper back.

  He looks down into my eyes with total seriousness.

  “There is shit in my past that I don’t want to involve you in, Cam. Part of the reason my mom and I decided to move here was to get away from some things. It’s nothing for you to worry about, but I need you to know that I would never put you in danger, and I want a clean slate here. With you.”

  My brow fu
rrows. “What kinds of things? Are you in trouble? I want to help.”

  He shakes his head emphatically. “It’s nothing we need to discuss. It’s all over now. I’m here, and the past is the past. I’m fine, and I’m with you.”

  “Okay,” I reply. “I trust you, Cooper.” And I truly do. I know that if there is something I need to know about, he’ll tell me. I just want to start this exciting ride with him. I want to be his.

  I look out at the ocean again. It’s so hauntingly beautiful, and peaceful in color and sound. I can’t imagine anything disrupting this for us.

  Cooper’s lips lower to meet mine, and the problems from his past, the ocean, the highway…it all fades away.

  ***

  Dara calls on my way home, and I tell her she could meet me at my house.

  When I pull into the parking lot, she’s waiting by her car.

  “Girl! I can’t wait to hear this. Cooper’s homework? Really? I knew you were having second thoughts about starting a relationship with Luka. But I didn’t know that meant you would go running straight for Cooper…literally!” She shakes her head, and her long hair flies wildly around her face.

  “Come on,” I reply, pulling her into the apartment.

  We run to my room, and I fling my door shut behind us. I fall dramatically on the bed, sighing.

  “Oh Lord,” Dara says. “If that crazy grin is any indication, I’m guessing that you’re madly in love with Cooper Goode. Already.”

  “Madly in love might be an exaggeration,” I admit. “But Dara, holy hell. The boy has me shook. I don’t even know where these feelings came from. I don’t do this, go gaga over a guy. You know I don’t!”

  “No, you don’t,” she sighs. She lays next to me on the bed and slings an arm across my stomach. “That can only mean one thing, my friend. L-O-V-E. Trust me, I know.”

  There is a light knock on my door, and my mom walks in.

  “Did someone just spell the word love?” she asks, eyeing me suspiciously. “Cam, Luka is really nice, but—“

  Dara gives me a long, pointed look.

  “Mom, um, hey,” I say. “You don’t under--“

  “When I met Luka, I asked you how he was going to fit into the life you have planned out for yourself. He’s a nice change from the rigid way you usually keep yourself holed up in your room working on a dance routine or dancing at the studio 24/7, but love? I don’t know, it might be too fast. I know he’s a nice boy, from a nice family—“